Slide presentation by Ken du Pisanie Written by Stephen R. Covey

Y ou’re Going to be “Off Track” 90% of the Time. So What?

G ood families – even great families – are off track 90% of the time. The key is that they have a sense of destination. They know what the “track” looks like. And they keep coming back to it time and time again.

T he key is in having a destination, a flight plan, and a compass. Invest the next few minutes in this presentation, and you will be given the most valuable tools ever to find your destination for your family.

H ave the end in mind: A B eautiful F amily C ulture

H ABIT 1 B E P ROACTIVE

W e do not have to love. W e choose to love.

T o do carefully and constantly and kindly many little things is not a little thing.

T he way you treat any relationship in the family will eventually affect every relationship in the family.

H ABIT 2 B EGIN W ITH T HE E ND I N M IND

C reate a clear, compelling vision of what you and your family are all about.

A family mission statement is a combined, unified expression from all family members of what your family is all about and the principles you choose to govern your family life.

F or the most part, families don’t have the kind of mission statement so critical to organizational success. Yet the family is the most important, fundamental organization in the world.

T hrough a family mission statement you can let your children know that you are totally committed to them, and that you have been from the very moment of their birth or adoption.

H ABIT 3 P UT F IRST T HINGS F IRST

M aking F amily a P riority in a T urbulent W orld

“ O kay, now, I know what you’re going to hear from people is “We don’t have the time. But if you don’t have the time for one night or at least one hour during the week where everybody can come together as a family, then the family is not the priority.” ~ Oprah Winfrey ~

T hings which matter the most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.

T he place to start is not with the assumption that work is non-negotiable; it’s with the assumption that family is non-negotiable. That one shift of mind-set opens the door to all kinds of creative possibilities.

T he role of parents is a unique one, a sacred stewardship in life. Is there really anything that would outweigh the importance of fulfilling that stewardship well?

H ABIT 4 T HINK “ W IN~ W IN”

M oving from “Me” to “We”

T he question is this: “Would you be willing to search for a solution that is better than what either of us is now proposing?”

T he commitment is this: “Let me listen to you first” or “Help me understand.”

T he principle is this: What is important to another person must be as important to you as the other person is to you.

Parenting is not about being popular and giving in to every child’s whim and desire. It’s about making decisions that truly are win-win – however they may appear to the child at the time.

H ABIT 5 S EEK F IRST T O U NDERSTAND… T HEN T O B E U NDERSTOOD

S olving family problems through emphatic communication

T here’s no way to have rich, rewarding family relationships without real understanding

M ost mistakes with family members are not the result of bad intent. It’s just that we really don’t understand. We don’t see clearly into one another’s hearts.

W hen you understand… Y ou don’t judge.

E ach person needs to be loved in his or her own special way. They key to making deposits, therefore, is to understand – and to speak – that person’s language of love

T he technique of emphatic listening is just the tip of the iceberg. The great mass of the iceberg is a deep and sincere desire to truly understand.

H ABIT 6 S YNERGIZE

B uilding family unity through celebrating differences

Y ou must be able to say sincerely, “The fact that we see things differently is a strength – not a weakness – in our relationship.

O nce you realize that each problem is asking for a response instead of just triggering a reaction, you start to learn. You become a learning family.

H ABIT 7 S HARPEN T HE S AW

R enewing the family spirit through traditions

E very family must take time to renew itself in the four key areas of life: physical, social, mental, and spiritual.

I f you organize your family life to spend ten or fifteen minutes a morning reading something that connects you to timeless principles, you will make better choices during the day – in the family, on the job, in every dimension of life.

S harpening the saw is the highest leverage activity in life because it affects everything else so powerfully

F rom S urvival… T o s tability… T o S uccess… T o S ignificance I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: The only ones among you who will really be happy are those who have sought and found how to serve. ~ Albert Schweitzer ~

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS & CREDITS The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families by Stephen R. Covey 1998 Simon & Schuster UK Ltd. (London) Slide presentation by Ken du Pisanie