The Psychology Behind Romantic Relationships Kelly Matheson July 27, 2009
Main Topics <ul><li>How people become attracted to other people </li></ul>2. Some of the different relationships there are and what makes couples stay together 3. The process of breaking up and the psychological affects
1. Attraction Proximity Effect : the more we meet and interact with people, the more likely we are to become friends with them. Reciprocal Liking : knowing someone likes us fuels our attraction and can even make up for the absence of similarity Similarity : Birds of a feather flock together Opposites attract
Men tend to go for youth and attractiveness (signs of fertility) Women tend to go for men of status and wealth (resources for offspring); physical attractiveness weighs less The more economic power a woman has,the more that physical attractiveness becomes important
Attractive Faces http://www.unl.edu/rhames/courses/male_facial_beauty.htm Both sexes prefer feminine faces <ul><li>Large eyes </li></ul><ul><li>Slender nose </li></ul><ul><li>Slim face </li></ul><ul><li>Less eyebrow hair </li></ul>
2. Relationships Secure Attachment Style : maintain high levels of commitment, satisfaction, and trust, and low levels of cost over time Handbook of Interpersonal Commitment and Relationship Stability by Jeffery M. Adams, Warren H. Jones, 1999, (114) Avoidant Attachment Style : have high thresholds for falling in love and making commitments; even when they are in a romantic relationship, they tend to maintain a distance Anxious Attachment Style : have a low threshold for creating romantic relationships and making commitments; appear to form emotional bonds very quickly
Handbook of Interpersonal Commitment and Relationship Stability by Jeffrey M. Adams, Warren H. Jones, 1999, (114).
Cultures practicing arranged marriages (usually collectivist societies) tend to have family-based marriages. Western cultures tend to focus more on the individual and the pursuit of romantic love. Arranged Marriages
http://www.yourtango.com/20085574/what-arranged-marriage-can-teach-us.html June 24, 2008.
3. Breaking Up <ul><li>What kind of relationship we think we deserve </li></ul><ul><li>What kind of relationship we think we’re in </li></ul><ul><li>The chances of finding someone better </li></ul>
Why Women Don’t Get Out Of Abusive Relationships - Loss of investments <ul><li>Current relationship is better </li></ul><ul><li>than alternatives </li></ul>- Traumatic bonding - They believe they can change a man by staying - They believe they deserve it
-A mutual breakup is the best for both people. One person ending it on his/her own causes the breakee more pain than if it had ended mutually. Social Psychology, Sixth Edition by Elliot Aronson, Timothy D. Wilson; Robin M. Akert, 2006 (339). - Breaking up is hardly ever as bad as we imagine it will be. - Even people coming out of long marriages usually recover and find something positive about their experience within 2 years. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/08/070820123608.htm “ We always believe our first love is our last, and our last love our first.” -- George John Whyte-Melville -Those with an anxious attachment style are most likely to repetitively break up and get back together with their partners.
<ul><li>How people become attracted to other people </li></ul>2. Some of the different relationships there are and what makes couples stay together 3. The process of breaking up and the psychological affects Review of Main Topics
How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? -- Albert Einstein
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