The most common cause of divorce is selfishness. It could be selfishness with time, money, work, caring and communication. Other factors of divorce may be changing value system, physical and emotional abuse, religious differences or alcohol/substance abuse.
No one ever escapes from a divorce unscathed. Hopes and dreams are replaced with feelings of rejection, security, and a loss of self- esteem. The 4 major arguments against divorce are: 1. Divorce hurts you. 2. Divorce hurts those around you. 3. Single life is not what it is cracked up to be. 4. Staying married is better for you.
Brings out selfishness, hostility and vindictiveness Ruins your idealism about marriage Emotionally scars you Costs a great deal of money, reduces your standard of living
Devastates children for at least two years, and possibly for life Family and friends are compelled to take sides Places you against people you once loved
Singlehood is full of rejection, disappointment and frustration Even a successful relationship that leads to another marriage often ends in divorce (75%)
You do not have to disrupt your life for 2 to 7 years Solving marital problem provides a sense of team work and stands as a concrete accomplishment that enhances problem solving skills in the larger world Marriage is statistically proven to be the best status for your health
Divorce people have more illness, more premature deaths, higher suicide rates and more accidents than those who are married. When we divorce we learn to doubt that any relationship can be permanent. Children fear that they caused the divorce and they feel rejected and alone.
The “social readjustment rating scale” which lists life events most shattering to one’s equilibrium, shows the following 1. death of a spouse 2. divorce 3. marital separation
Dealing with divorce is similar to coping with a death. A person goes through three stages. 1. Shock and numbness – one blocks out reality, denial. 2. Reality – deep sadness and great sense of loss, depression and anxiety. 3. Recovery – they give up their hopes and plans they had with the other person.
The consequences vary, depending on: childrens ages, family characteristics, level of family conflict, parent-child relationships, socio-economic level, mental well-being of each parent, maternal employment, and amount of social support. Some divorces bring relief to families while others leave the family devastated.• Some divorces bring relief to families while others leave thefamily devastated.
Age Theme Symptoms What to do2-5 Abandonment Sleep Explain custodial disturbances parent will return.5-9 Displaced, School Discuss fears, Grief difficulties Contact with non-custodial parent.9-12 Acting out Spying, fight Patience, love with parents.13+ Relationship Independence, Communication, failure promiscuous encourage relationships.
Parents can help children adjust to divorce by:1. decreasing conflict,2. relationship with parents,3. economic stability,4. and consistent visitation.
Fold a piece of light colored paper into a pamphlet Cover page- title “Divorce” and Name/class period Page 1- Four arguments against divorce, and explanations (notes) Page 2- three stages of coping with divorce (notes) Page 3- 5 reasons FOR marriage (Article) Page 4- effects of divorce on kids (notes) Page 5- what parents can do to help kids adjust (article)
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