Journal #10• What makes a good friend? Why are friends important?• Think of your most memorable moment with a friend/friends and write about it. What made is special, memorable, fun, serious etc.
Friendships• You will develop many kinds of friendships throughout your life.• Common attributes of Friends • Similar values, interests, beliefs and attitudes • Share joy/disappointment/dreams and concerns • Respect/care and support • Concern for each others safety
Whats@ ur center??• Making friends your life center? PROBLEM….. • Friends are: • Imperfect • unstable • They move • They change• If not friends what does make a good center? • PRINCIPALS • Honest , respect, responsibility, caring, kindness
Different Kinds of Friendships• Casual and close:• Online:• Platonic: relationship with member of the opposite sex
POPULAR?• Dark side: • Stuck up snotty think your better than others Positive side: people that are well liked and respected because they are genuine decent people (PRINCIPAL CENTERED )
Problems in Relationships• Cliques: small circle of friends, usually with similar backgrounds or tastes who exclude others (stereotyping)• Envy/Jealousy: • Things to ask yourself: • what is making you feel jealous • Is my friend trying to deliberately make me feel this way • What can I do to manage/reduce these feelings • What positive qualities make this person a good friend• The friendship changes for whatever reason • Be open to the fact your friends change…that’s okay!
Peer Pressure• Peers can influence how you think, feel and act. • Positive Peer Pressure • Negative Peer Pressure • Harassment: persistently annoying others. • Manipulation: indirect, dishonest way to control or influence other people.
Peer Pressure• Preparation: get clear on your goals • Good grades • Starter on the team • Example to siblings• Strong support system • Surround yourself with friends, family and others who inspire you to be your best• Courage in the moment!!!
Methods of Manipulation• Making threats• Blackmail• Mocking or Teasing• “Guilt Trips”• Bargaining• Flattery• Bribing
Making and Being a FRIEND• Be slow to judge• YOU make the effort• Build the RBA• Make yourself likeable• Be inclusive• Treat unkindness with kindness• Lift others
Queen Bee, Wannabee and Gamma Girl• Queen bee: popularity means everything. Protect clique at all cost and will boot anyone out who tries to threaten their reign.• Wanna bee: Those who do whatever it takes to get in with the Queen Bee.• Gamma Girl: kids who may not be known as popular but they are comfortable with who they are like their parents, are smart, kind and think popularity is overrated
Quirks, Faults and Foibles• Just like you, your friends are trying to figure out who they are and what the purpose of life is….• Forgive and there is a time to draw the line….
Mean Girls, Gossip Bullies• Gossip we can do things about… • Confront it….(I message ) • Live above it. Ignore it and move one • TREAT EACH OTHERS REPUTATIONS WITH CARE! • LEAVE PEOPLE BETTER THAN WHEN YOU FIND THEM
CRABS/COMPETITION• Crabs?? ….. • Friends pulling you down? • Compare clothes, looks, abilities and compete • Think WIN/WIN • I want to win and you can win too
How come don’t you kick with us anymore?• Friends change…and that’s okay.• Big difference between abandoning your friends and developing new friends because your interests change.• Don’t get upset if your naturally start drifting apart because your interests take you in different directions
Ms. Ross Journal response• 7th grade jacuzzi/laundry mat/vogue/NB girls trip• BFF’s • Sister Lisa, Brother Shane, Julie (24yrs) • Accepts me for who I am faults and all • Listens • Inspires • Fun • Laugh and play
Trouble in Paradise• Allen ran up to Dave on the way to school. “Dave, what are you doing after school? Im going out with Eric’s group tonight and they invited you to come along.• “Sorry I’ve got a project to finish” said Dave. “why do you want to hang out with those guys, anyway? I hear some of them have been in trouble with the police.”• “They’re fund to be around,” Allen said. Then he added angrily, “Why are you so uptight?”• Dave looked at Allen. They had been friends since gradeschool, but lately Allen seemed to lose interest in doing the things that they used to enjoy together. Allen quit the tae kwon do class and the math study group they were in. Now Allen was spending time with a rough crowd and getting into trouble at school. D• Dave wondered how he should respond???
Writing• Write and ending to the scenario in which Dave communicates to Allen that he thinks their friendship is changing.• Make sure Allen knows Dave has decided to pursue healthier friendships. Use the following as guidelines: • Write ending in dialog format (minimum 3 paragraphs) • Use at least one I message • Speak calmly and clearly • Use respectful tone • Listen carefully and ask appropriate questions • Use forms of body language (appropriate)
Assertive Refusal Skills• State Your Position: • NO, firmly and simply• Suggest Alternatives: • Suggest another activity• Stand Your Ground: • Make it clear you meant what you said • Remove yourself from the situation
How to Make Others Like You Dale Carnagie- How to Win Friend and Influence People• Six ways to make people like you 1. Become genuinely interested in other people 2. Smile. 3. Remember that a persons name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language. 4. Be a good listener. 5. Encourage others to talk about themselves. Talk in terms of the other persons interests. 6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.