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How to effectively deal with the emotional roller coaster 1
How to effectively deal with the emotional roller coaster 1
How to effectively deal with the emotional roller coaster 1
How to effectively deal with the emotional roller coaster 1
How to effectively deal with the emotional roller coaster 1
How to effectively deal with the emotional roller coaster 1
How to effectively deal with the emotional roller coaster 1
How to effectively deal with the emotional roller coaster 1
How to effectively deal with the emotional roller coaster 1
How to effectively deal with the emotional roller coaster 1
How to effectively deal with the emotional roller coaster 1
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How to effectively deal with the emotional roller coaster 1

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  • How to Effectively Deal with the Emotional Roller Coaster
  • What Infidelity Looks and Feels Like
  • How to Effectively Deal with the Emotional Roller Coaster
  • Looking to the future—I want to know what’s next? What can we expect? How do I stop this wide range of emotions? What is wrong with me? What is wrong with my partner? Why can’t we must move on?
  • Three Building Blocks to Recovery—Genuine Openness and Self-Awareness—Communicate Understanding—Act on the Truth
  • Genuine Openness-- Talk—Full Disclosure, Answer Questions, Talking HealsSelf-Awareness—Two people increasing self-awareness, asking difficult personal questions
  • Why discuss the whole situation? Why answer the questions—Communicate desire for the relationship—why?????Ask your questions—learn to talk about your pain, express your truth with loveLearn to talk about your painExpress your truth with loveWhat can I learn from this experience?CHANGE TRANSITION IN NARRATION
  • The person who had the affair—must look beyond the justification—hurt, anger, disconnectionThe person who was cheated on—the questions—learn from the pain, how did I miss the signs, boundaries, what can I learn from this experience?CHANGE NARRATION TRANSITION
  • Role of the one who had the affair—I have to earn back the trust, I don’t expect a quick forgiveness, I want to better understand your pain, I apologize for the pain I caused, I am willing to continually admit my mistakeRole of the one who was cheated on—I want to find a good resolution, I will own up to my issues, I understand that for us to heal I have to let you deal with your struggles, I will talk openly about my pain, not in a punishing way, I will have compassion on you because I have loved you
  • You’ve said it now do it—earn trust—low cost vs. high cost; pay the price by feeling your partners pain; feel good about your forgivenessBe present; deal with your pain, grow, connect, take risks, allow connection
  • Three Building Blocks to Recovery—Genuine Openness and Self-Awareness—Communicate Understanding—Act on the Truth
  • Transcript

    • 1. How to Effectively Deal with the Emotional Roller Coaster
    • 2. What Infidelity Looks & Feels Like
    • 3. A Thousand Questions
      Can I trust you?
      Why was I so stupid?
      How did I miss the signs?
      Did you?
      How did this happen?
      Will this happen?
      What, when, where, why?
    • 4. Looking to the Future…
      What’s next?
      Where do we go from here?
      How do we stop the emotional
      roller coaster?
    • 5. Three Building Blocks to Recovery
    • 6. Genuine Openness
      Self-Awareness
      Talk – full disclosure
      Two people
      learning about self
      Answer questions
      Asking difficult personal questions
      Talking heals
    • 7. Genuine Openness
      The Person Who
      Had the Affair
      The Person Who
      Was Cheated On
      Ask your
      questions
      Discuss the
      whole situation
      Answer the
      questions
      Learn to talk
      about your pain
      Communicating desire for the relationship
      Express your truth
      with love
    • 8. Self-Awareness
      The Person Who
      Had the Affair
      The Person Who
      Was Cheated On
      Beyond the Justification
      The Questions
      Hurt
      Learn from your pain
      Anger
      How did I miss this the signs?
      Disconnection
      Boundaries
      What can I learn from this experience?
    • 9. Communicate Understanding
      Role of the One Who
      Had the Affair
      Role of the One
      Who Was Cheated On
      I have to earn
      back the trust
      I want to find a
      good resolution
      I don’t expect
      quick forgiveness
      I will own
      up to my issues
      I want to better
      understand your pain
      I understand that for us to heal I have to let you deal with your struggles
      I apologize for
      the pain I caused
      I will talk openly about my pain, not in a punishing way
      I am willing to
      continually admit my mistake
      I will have compassion on you because I have loved you
    • 10. Act on the Truth
      Role of the One Who
      Had the Affair
      Role of the One
      Who Was Cheated On
      You’ve said it now do it
      Be present
      Earn trust
      Low cost High cost
      Deal with your pain
      Grow
      Pay the price–feel your partner’s emotions
      Allow connection
      Take risks
      Feel good about your forgiveness
    • 11. Three Building Blocks to Recovery

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