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The story of my biggest fear.
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The story of my biggest fear.



Published in Entertainment & Humor
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  • 1. my biggest fearwasn’t always my biggest fear
  • 2. i used to be just like youyoung and fearless ok, maybe not that fearless
  • 3. but i was no scaredy cat (i’m not really a cat person to begin with)
  • 4. as a kid, i was never afraid of those silly things like clowns being away from my parents monsters under my bed the dark
  • 5. yet somehow as a freshman in high schooli managed to pick up a fear even sillier than all the rest
  • 6. not spidersnot heightsnot dyingnot going stag to prom
  • 7. i know my fear is irrational, i really do
  • 8. katieand i have a fear of squirrels yes, squirrels
  • 9. i googled ‘cute squirrel’ and this image came up (this image terrifies me)
  • 10. in fact, i see little reason why the words ‘cute’ and ‘squirrel’should ever be used in the same sentence .
  • 11. i don’t care how big it smiles
  • 12. or how tiny and pink it is
  • 13. onebecause in my mind there is only one squirrel
  • 14. we were introducedone morning as i was getting ready for school
  • 15. without warningor invitation
  • 16. there he was arms spread wide caught in my window screen
  • 17. when our eyes met, i screamedand ran faster than i’d ever run before i made it to the bus stop a whopping one hour early
  • 18. it was the scariest 10 seconds of my life
  • 19. you may not believe me
  • 20. but you didn’t see his stare
  • 21. his beady little stare
  • 22. if you didwe’d be starting a club this very minute: the squirrely scaredies the he-man squirrel afraiders club non-nutty squirrel haterade drinkers (ok ok we’ll work out the name later)
  • 23. and my biggest fear would be your biggest fear too