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PEERS & FRIENDS
Q OF THE DAY
 Think

of your most memorable
moment with a friend/friends and write
about it. What made it special,
memorable, fun, serious, etc.
JOURNAL
 What

are qualities you want in a good
friend?
(Ex: caring, trustworthy, someone who
listens, someone with good advice, etc.)

 Write

down as many things as you can
6 MOST IMPORTANT DECISIONS
Everyone = 91-93 (top of)
 1 = What’s at your center?
 2 = It’s all about popular
 3 = Queen Bees, Wanna Bees, Gamma Girls
 4 = Quirks, Faults, and Foibles
 5 = Mean Girls, Gossips, and bullies
 6 = Crabs and Competition
 7 = How come you don’t kick with us no more?

WHAT’S AT YOUR CENTER?!
Are Friends at your center?
 ANY PROBLEMS…?


Friends are imperfect, unstable, and human
 They move
 They change




What SHOULD be at our center?


PRINCIPLES


Honesty…Respect…Responsibility

Principles never fail
 Principles are MAGNETIC!

POPULAR: DARK VS LIGHT SIDE


Dark Side




Stuck up, snotty, think
you’re better than
others

Light Side


people that are well
liked and respected
because they are
genuine decent people
(PRINCIPLE
CENTERED  )
QUEEN BEE, WANNA BEE AND GAMMA
GIRL
Queen bee: popularity means everything. Protect
clique at all cost and will boot anyone out who tries
to threaten their reign.
 Wanna bee: Those who do whatever it takes to get
in with the Queen Bee.
 Gamma Girl/Boy: kids who may not be known as
“popular” but they are comfortable with who they
are, they like their parents, are smart, and are kind!

QUIRKS, FAULTS AND FOIBLES


Just like you, your friends are trying to figure out
who they are and what the purpose of life is….



There is a time to forgive and a time to draw the
line….
MEAN GIRLS, GOSSIP, & BULLIES


Gossip we can do things about…
Confront it….(I-message  )
 Live above it. Ignore it and move on




TREAT EACH OTHERS REPUTATIONS WITH CARE!



LEAVE PEOPLE BETTER THAN WHEN YOU FIND
THEM
CRABS & COMPETITION


Crabs?? …..
Friends pulling you
down?
 Compare clothes,
looks, abilities and
compete




Think WIN/WIN


I want to win and you
can win too
HOW COME DON’T YOU KICK WITH US
ANYMORE?


Friends change…and that’s okay.



Big difference between abandoning your friends
and developing new friends because your interests
change.



Don’t get upset if your naturally start drifting apart
because your interests take you in different
directions
QUICK REVIEW!!


BE the type of friend you WANT in others!



Be PRINCIPLE centered friend MAGNET!!!



We all should want to be POPULAR.



But HOW do we make NEW friends?
Care about them
 Ask questions
 Be PRINCIPLE centered 

FRIEND MAKING SKILLS


You will develop many kinds of friendships
throughout your life.




Some will be more important to you than others

Common attributes of Friends
Similar values, interests, beliefs and attitudes
 Share joy/disappointment/dreams and concerns
 Respect, care and support
 Concern for each others safety

THE NEWLY FRIEND GAME!
Pairings….
Cake/cookie
stomach/ache
 Ebony/ivory
chocolate/chip
 String/cheese
Reeses/pieces
 Ice/cream
dog/cat
 Bread/jam
loose/tooth
 Black/whitehubba/bubba
 Peanut/butter
straw/berry


salt/pepper
nurse/DR
night/day
early/late
MAKING & BEING A FRIEND
“You can’t make people like you, but you can
always make yourself more likable.” **Covey
Be slow to judge
 YOU make the effort
 Build the RBA
 Be Inclusive
 Treat Unkindness with
kindness
 Lift others

6 WAYS TO BE MORE LIKEABLE


Dale Carnegie
Become genuinely interested in other people
SMILE!!! 
Remember that a person’s name is to that person
the sweetest and most important sound in any
language.
Be a good listener
Encourage others to talk about themselves. Talk
in terms of the other person’s interests.
Make the other person feel important

1.
2.
3.

4.
5.
6.


And do it sincerely
It takes a great deal of
COURAGE to stand up
to your ENEMIES, but a
great deal more to stand
up to your FRIENDS.
PEER PRESSURE


When you feel pressured by people in your age
group to act a certain way.



Positive PP: when your friends expect good things
from you



Negative PP: when your friends persuade you to
conform or do something you don’t want to do



Remember your life centered on PRINCIPLES…not
FRIENDS
NEGATIVE PEER PRESSURE


Harassment:
Persistently annoying
others



Manipulation:
indirect, dishonest way
to control or influence
other people
PEER PRESSURE SHIELD
ASSERTIVE REFUSAL SKILLS


State Your Position:




Suggest Alternatives:




NO, firmly and simply

Suggest another activity

Stand Your Ground:
Make it clear you meant what you said
 Remove yourself from the situation

JOURNAL


Think of a time when you were pressured.






Who pressured you?
What activity/behavior were you being pressured to do?
What arguments did the person/people pressuring you
use?
How did you respond? If you tried to resist, what did you
say or do?
What might you say or do in the future to resist peer
pressure?
4 RED FLAGS
You may want to suggest a new group of friends
if….
 You have to change your clothes, language, friends,
or standards in order to keep your friends.
 You’re doing stuff you don’t feel good about, like
stealing, fighting, or doing drugs.




You feel like you’re being used



Your life feels out of control

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Peer friends

  • 2. Q OF THE DAY  Think of your most memorable moment with a friend/friends and write about it. What made it special, memorable, fun, serious, etc.
  • 3. JOURNAL  What are qualities you want in a good friend? (Ex: caring, trustworthy, someone who listens, someone with good advice, etc.)  Write down as many things as you can
  • 4. 6 MOST IMPORTANT DECISIONS Everyone = 91-93 (top of)  1 = What’s at your center?  2 = It’s all about popular  3 = Queen Bees, Wanna Bees, Gamma Girls  4 = Quirks, Faults, and Foibles  5 = Mean Girls, Gossips, and bullies  6 = Crabs and Competition  7 = How come you don’t kick with us no more? 
  • 5. WHAT’S AT YOUR CENTER?! Are Friends at your center?  ANY PROBLEMS…?  Friends are imperfect, unstable, and human  They move  They change   What SHOULD be at our center?  PRINCIPLES  Honesty…Respect…Responsibility Principles never fail  Principles are MAGNETIC! 
  • 6. POPULAR: DARK VS LIGHT SIDE  Dark Side   Stuck up, snotty, think you’re better than others Light Side  people that are well liked and respected because they are genuine decent people (PRINCIPLE CENTERED  )
  • 7. QUEEN BEE, WANNA BEE AND GAMMA GIRL Queen bee: popularity means everything. Protect clique at all cost and will boot anyone out who tries to threaten their reign.  Wanna bee: Those who do whatever it takes to get in with the Queen Bee.  Gamma Girl/Boy: kids who may not be known as “popular” but they are comfortable with who they are, they like their parents, are smart, and are kind! 
  • 8. QUIRKS, FAULTS AND FOIBLES  Just like you, your friends are trying to figure out who they are and what the purpose of life is….  There is a time to forgive and a time to draw the line….
  • 9. MEAN GIRLS, GOSSIP, & BULLIES  Gossip we can do things about… Confront it….(I-message  )  Live above it. Ignore it and move on   TREAT EACH OTHERS REPUTATIONS WITH CARE!  LEAVE PEOPLE BETTER THAN WHEN YOU FIND THEM
  • 10. CRABS & COMPETITION  Crabs?? ….. Friends pulling you down?  Compare clothes, looks, abilities and compete   Think WIN/WIN  I want to win and you can win too
  • 11. HOW COME DON’T YOU KICK WITH US ANYMORE?  Friends change…and that’s okay.  Big difference between abandoning your friends and developing new friends because your interests change.  Don’t get upset if your naturally start drifting apart because your interests take you in different directions
  • 12. QUICK REVIEW!!  BE the type of friend you WANT in others!  Be PRINCIPLE centered friend MAGNET!!!  We all should want to be POPULAR.  But HOW do we make NEW friends? Care about them  Ask questions  Be PRINCIPLE centered  
  • 13. FRIEND MAKING SKILLS  You will develop many kinds of friendships throughout your life.   Some will be more important to you than others Common attributes of Friends Similar values, interests, beliefs and attitudes  Share joy/disappointment/dreams and concerns  Respect, care and support  Concern for each others safety 
  • 14. THE NEWLY FRIEND GAME! Pairings…. Cake/cookie stomach/ache  Ebony/ivory chocolate/chip  String/cheese Reeses/pieces  Ice/cream dog/cat  Bread/jam loose/tooth  Black/whitehubba/bubba  Peanut/butter straw/berry  salt/pepper nurse/DR night/day early/late
  • 15. MAKING & BEING A FRIEND “You can’t make people like you, but you can always make yourself more likable.” **Covey Be slow to judge  YOU make the effort  Build the RBA  Be Inclusive  Treat Unkindness with kindness  Lift others 
  • 16. 6 WAYS TO BE MORE LIKEABLE  Dale Carnegie Become genuinely interested in other people SMILE!!!  Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language. Be a good listener Encourage others to talk about themselves. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests. Make the other person feel important 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.  And do it sincerely
  • 17. It takes a great deal of COURAGE to stand up to your ENEMIES, but a great deal more to stand up to your FRIENDS.
  • 18.
  • 19. PEER PRESSURE  When you feel pressured by people in your age group to act a certain way.  Positive PP: when your friends expect good things from you  Negative PP: when your friends persuade you to conform or do something you don’t want to do  Remember your life centered on PRINCIPLES…not FRIENDS
  • 20. NEGATIVE PEER PRESSURE  Harassment: Persistently annoying others  Manipulation: indirect, dishonest way to control or influence other people
  • 22. ASSERTIVE REFUSAL SKILLS  State Your Position:   Suggest Alternatives:   NO, firmly and simply Suggest another activity Stand Your Ground: Make it clear you meant what you said  Remove yourself from the situation 
  • 23. JOURNAL  Think of a time when you were pressured.      Who pressured you? What activity/behavior were you being pressured to do? What arguments did the person/people pressuring you use? How did you respond? If you tried to resist, what did you say or do? What might you say or do in the future to resist peer pressure?
  • 24. 4 RED FLAGS You may want to suggest a new group of friends if….  You have to change your clothes, language, friends, or standards in order to keep your friends.  You’re doing stuff you don’t feel good about, like stealing, fighting, or doing drugs.   You feel like you’re being used  Your life feels out of control