Peer friends


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Peer friends

  2. 2. Q OF THE DAY  Think of your most memorable moment with a friend/friends and write about it. What made it special, memorable, fun, serious, etc.
  3. 3. JOURNAL  What are qualities you want in a good friend? (Ex: caring, trustworthy, someone who listens, someone with good advice, etc.)  Write down as many things as you can
  4. 4. 6 MOST IMPORTANT DECISIONS Everyone = 91-93 (top of)  1 = What’s at your center?  2 = It’s all about popular  3 = Queen Bees, Wanna Bees, Gamma Girls  4 = Quirks, Faults, and Foibles  5 = Mean Girls, Gossips, and bullies  6 = Crabs and Competition  7 = How come you don’t kick with us no more? 
  5. 5. WHAT’S AT YOUR CENTER?! Are Friends at your center?  ANY PROBLEMS…?  Friends are imperfect, unstable, and human  They move  They change   What SHOULD be at our center?  PRINCIPLES  Honesty…Respect…Responsibility Principles never fail  Principles are MAGNETIC! 
  6. 6. POPULAR: DARK VS LIGHT SIDE  Dark Side   Stuck up, snotty, think you’re better than others Light Side  people that are well liked and respected because they are genuine decent people (PRINCIPLE CENTERED  )
  7. 7. QUEEN BEE, WANNA BEE AND GAMMA GIRL Queen bee: popularity means everything. Protect clique at all cost and will boot anyone out who tries to threaten their reign.  Wanna bee: Those who do whatever it takes to get in with the Queen Bee.  Gamma Girl/Boy: kids who may not be known as “popular” but they are comfortable with who they are, they like their parents, are smart, and are kind! 
  8. 8. QUIRKS, FAULTS AND FOIBLES  Just like you, your friends are trying to figure out who they are and what the purpose of life is….  There is a time to forgive and a time to draw the line….
  9. 9. MEAN GIRLS, GOSSIP, & BULLIES  Gossip we can do things about… Confront it….(I-message  )  Live above it. Ignore it and move on   TREAT EACH OTHERS REPUTATIONS WITH CARE!  LEAVE PEOPLE BETTER THAN WHEN YOU FIND THEM
  10. 10. CRABS & COMPETITION  Crabs?? ….. Friends pulling you down?  Compare clothes, looks, abilities and compete   Think WIN/WIN  I want to win and you can win too
  11. 11. HOW COME DON’T YOU KICK WITH US ANYMORE?  Friends change…and that’s okay.  Big difference between abandoning your friends and developing new friends because your interests change.  Don’t get upset if your naturally start drifting apart because your interests take you in different directions
  12. 12. QUICK REVIEW!!  BE the type of friend you WANT in others!  Be PRINCIPLE centered friend MAGNET!!!  We all should want to be POPULAR.  But HOW do we make NEW friends? Care about them  Ask questions  Be PRINCIPLE centered  
  13. 13. FRIEND MAKING SKILLS  You will develop many kinds of friendships throughout your life.   Some will be more important to you than others Common attributes of Friends Similar values, interests, beliefs and attitudes  Share joy/disappointment/dreams and concerns  Respect, care and support  Concern for each others safety 
  14. 14. THE NEWLY FRIEND GAME! Pairings…. Cake/cookie stomach/ache  Ebony/ivory chocolate/chip  String/cheese Reeses/pieces  Ice/cream dog/cat  Bread/jam loose/tooth  Black/whitehubba/bubba  Peanut/butter straw/berry  salt/pepper nurse/DR night/day early/late
  15. 15. MAKING & BEING A FRIEND “You can’t make people like you, but you can always make yourself more likable.” **Covey Be slow to judge  YOU make the effort  Build the RBA  Be Inclusive  Treat Unkindness with kindness  Lift others 
  16. 16. 6 WAYS TO BE MORE LIKEABLE  Dale Carnegie Become genuinely interested in other people SMILE!!!  Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language. Be a good listener Encourage others to talk about themselves. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests. Make the other person feel important 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.  And do it sincerely
  17. 17. It takes a great deal of COURAGE to stand up to your ENEMIES, but a great deal more to stand up to your FRIENDS.
  18. 18. PEER PRESSURE  When you feel pressured by people in your age group to act a certain way.  Positive PP: when your friends expect good things from you  Negative PP: when your friends persuade you to conform or do something you don’t want to do  Remember your life centered on PRINCIPLES…not FRIENDS
  19. 19. NEGATIVE PEER PRESSURE  Harassment: Persistently annoying others  Manipulation: indirect, dishonest way to control or influence other people
  21. 21. ASSERTIVE REFUSAL SKILLS  State Your Position:   Suggest Alternatives:   NO, firmly and simply Suggest another activity Stand Your Ground: Make it clear you meant what you said  Remove yourself from the situation 
  22. 22. JOURNAL  Think of a time when you were pressured.      Who pressured you? What activity/behavior were you being pressured to do? What arguments did the person/people pressuring you use? How did you respond? If you tried to resist, what did you say or do? What might you say or do in the future to resist peer pressure?
  23. 23. 4 RED FLAGS You may want to suggest a new group of friends if….  You have to change your clothes, language, friends, or standards in order to keep your friends.  You’re doing stuff you don’t feel good about, like stealing, fighting, or doing drugs.   You feel like you’re being used  Your life feels out of control