Yes we can make our marriages better.
The onus is on couples to make it .
There is no returning back.
There is so much to say about
making marriage better that I do
not know where to start. We will
begin by looking at the basic
relationship between husband and
wife and try to understand what
God wants in our marriages. If you
are single today, pay attention so
that you can be better prepared
I know that the institution of
marriage is being assaulted from
different sides. It is hard to
imagine that we are under assault
from those who want same-sex
marriages, but we are. It is difficult
to believe that people who have
rejected God’s ways concerning
homosexuality are now wanting
the same God to bless their
immoral relationships in a
We are also under assault from
those who say marriage is oldfashioned and unnecessary. This
has been going on for twenty
years and more.
If you want your marriage to be
better, you will first need to want
Jesus Christ to be your Lord, the
Lord of every area of your life. It is
when we want Jesus as Lord that
we do the things necessary to
have a better marriage.
I realize that I can only present
the truth under God’s anointing
and with His direction, but you
must make the application to
your lives. I have watched many
marriages get worse when I
know they have heard the
things necessary for them to
The problem is that we overlook
the basics and attempt to learn
greater spiritual truths when we
have not applied the basic truths
to our lives and marriage first. The
application of truth is our
God speaks to us, and then we
apply it in our lives. Often we do
not apply the basics to our lives
because we think they are
optional, or perhaps we find them
uncomfortable to apply.
If we are living a carnal, self-driven
life, then obviously the basic
truths of making a marriage better
are going to be difficult to apply.
The greatest need for the church
today in Kenya is not for greater
spiritual truth but instead to be
willing to apply the truths we
If the husband loves his wife and
gives of himself for her, God is
able to work in his entire family. If
he dishonors God by treating his
wife in an unloving manner, being
harsh with her, being unkind to
her, not being sensitive to her
needs, then God is not able to
work in his life nor in his entire
The principle is simple. When you
honor God by honoring and obeying
His commands concerning the
marriage, you release God’s ability to
work in your family in a greater way.
When you dishonor God by refusing
to obey His commands concerning
marriage, God is stopped from
working in your marriage.
God knew there would be
disagreements and differences.
God’s way allows for there to be
order and structure in the home.
God’s ways allow Him to work
even when mistakes are made.
God knew anything with two heads
is a monster.
Man’s ways are inspired by the
flesh and Satan. Satan is working
to divide the home and split the
marriage. The question remains.
Will we do it God’s way, or will we
do it man’s way which Satan
Now let us look at the scripture
that establishes this truth. Look at
Ephesians 5:22-32. “22. Wives,
submit to your own husbands, as
to the Lord. 23. For the husband is
head of the wife, as also Christ is
head of the church; and He is the
Savior of the body.
24. Therefore, just as the church is
subject to Christ, so let the wives
be to their own husbands in
25. Husbands, love
your wives, just as Christ also
loved the church and gave Himself
for her, 26. that He might sanctify
and cleanse her with the washing
of water by the word,
27. that He might present her to
Himself a glorious church, not
having spot or wrinkle or any such
thing, but that she should be holy
and without blemish. 28. So
husbands ought to love their own
wives as their own bodies; he who
loves his wife loves himself. 29.
For no one ever hated his own
flesh, but nourishes and cherishes
30. For we are members of His body,
of His flesh, and of His bones. 31.
„For this reason a man shall leave his
father and mother and be joined to
his wife, and the two shall become
one flesh.‟ 32. This is a great
mystery, but I speak concerning
Christ and the church.”
The principle in these verses is
simple. Wives, honor God by
honoring your husband.
Husbands, honor God by loving
We must realize that when we
release God to work in our
marriage, it affects much more
than just the husband and the wife.
The children are strategically
affected by the way the husband
loves his wife and the way the wife
honors, supports, and respects
If you are wondering why your
children are doing some of the
things they do, have you
considered the possibility that
they are mirroring some of the
same attitudes you have toward
your husband or wife?
The principles that God gives us in
Ephesians apply to our marriage,
to our children, and also to the
workplace. The principle of
honoring authority affects every
area of our lives. Actually, it is as
simple as treating other people
with kindness and agape love.
How can we show the world God’s
love in ministry if we do not
demonstrate God’s love at home
and at work? Jesus told us that all
the law and the commandments
are summarized in the scriptures
He says in Matthew 22:37-39, “37.
. . .„You shall love the Lord your
God with all your heart, with all
your soul, and with all your mind.‟
38. This is the first and great
39. And the second is like it: „You
shall love your neighbor as
yourself.‟” If we cannot handle
this primary truth, why do we look
for other truths?
Husbands, would you join with me
in praying this prayer: “Heavenly
Father, teach me to love my wife as
you loved the church. Show me
how to love her, to sacrifice for her,
to listen to her concerns, to be
sensitive to her needs and hurts as
you are to the needs of the church.
Teach me to show your kind of
Wives, join with me in praying: “Lord
Jesus, teach me how to honor and
support my husband. Show me how
to respect him, how to acknowledge
his calling as the head of our home,
how to respond to his leadership,
how to listen to him, and how to
praise him and support him. Lord,
show me how to be a true helper and
supporter to my husband. Help me
Now, everyone, would you pray this
with me: “Lord, help me to apply
these truths to the authority you
have placed in my life. Teach me to
display your kindness and love to
everyone in my life. As I honor your
word, I thank you that your power
will be released in my life and that
Satan is bound from hindering me in
By allowing God to take the preeminence in marriage so that He is
No. One in the marriage, there will
be nothing that will stop us from
enjoying our marriage and
ensuring that our marriages are
better. You have a part to play.
Don’t ignore the Author of