Making our marriages last


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Marriage is not a trial or an experiment. It is a very important function in one’s life. We come into marriage to enjoy the marriage, serve in the marriage, give our all into marriage and our bodies, souls and minds are bonded in the marriage.

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Making our marriages last

  1. 1. MAKING OUR MARRIAGES LAST Both spouses must strive to make it last Saturday, March 29, 2014 1
  2. 2.  Scripture: John 2:1-5  John 2:1-5  On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. Now both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding. And when they ran out of wine, the mother of Jesus said to Him, "They have no wine." Jesus said to her, "Woman, what does your concern have to do with Me? My hour has not yet come." His mother said to the servants, "Whatever He says to you, do it.“ (NKJV) Saturday, March 29, 2014 2
  3. 3.  What is the secret to having a successful marriage?  OBEDIENCE to God is the secret to a successful marriage Saturday, March 29, 2014 3
  4. 4. Here are ways to make our marriages last  1. Have a GROWING COMMITMENT to make the marriage work.  The commitment cycle is important to understand:  a. You first have love.  b. Then you have commitment.  c. You have more love.  d. Then you have more commitment. Saturday, March 29, 2014 4
  5. 5.  True commitment keeps growing.  Someone said, “Sustain a family for a long period of time and you can sustain success for long periods of time. First things first. If your family life is in order, you can do whatever you want.” Saturday, March 29, 2014 5
  6. 6.  2. Make EXPRESSIONS OF LOVE to your spouse.  Don’t be like the one person that told his wife; “I told you I loved you twenty years ago. If I change my mind I will let you know”. Expressions of love include touch, words, and gifts.  Too often we treat people outside our families better than our own family members. Saturday, March 29, 2014 6
  7. 7.  How can I show love to my spouse:  a. I can love by SURPRISING.  b. I can love by REMEMBERING.  Remember the big days. What are they? Birthdays, anniversary, etc.  c. I can love by PLEASING. Saturday, March 29, 2014 7
  8. 8.  d. I can love by CREATING MEMORIES.  e. I can love by RE-AFFIRMING.  Quit giving answers and start giving assurance.  f. I can love by ENHANCEMENT.  One of the best enhancements you can make to your wife or husband is to say it and mean it, “MY GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT IN LIFE WAS MARRYING YOU! Saturday, March 29, 2014 8
  9. 9.  3. Putting FUN AND ENJOYMENT into you marriage.  What are some fun things you like to do? Saturday, March 29, 2014 9
  10. 10.  4. Offering FORGIVENESS quickly and easily.  “Bottled up resentments constitute one of the greatest dangers to marriage.” John Warren Hill  What a wonderful mindset of a person to overlook the faults of a companion.  Forgiveness in marriage is a MUST Saturday, March 29, 2014 10
  11. 11.  5. Having an effective mutually satisfying COMMUNICATION.  There are 5 levels of communication: (This is from the lowest level to the highest.)  i. Cliche Communication  a. How are you?  b. How are you doing?  c. This can be a very shallow form of interest to someone whom you love if this is as far as you take your communication.Saturday, March 29, 2014 11
  12. 12.  ii. Reporting the facts kind of Communication.  a. This is when we only get together and tell what is happening.  b. Cover events on the calendar.  c. We cover the budget and other pertinent areas of life. Saturday, March 29, 2014 12
  13. 13. iii. Sharing ideas and opinions.  a. Sharing likes and dislikes.  b. This is the level where we begin to share our thoughts. Saturday, March 29, 2014 13
  14. 14.  iv. Sharing feelings and emotions.  a. Knowing what makes us happy or sad.  b. We share with each other what makes us upset.  c. Knowing when something makes you fearful. Saturday, March 29, 2014 14
  15. 15.  v. The highest level of communication is where we will share complete trust and truth in each other.  a. This involves our freedom of sharing with each other without any reservation.  b. You are communicating so close you have no fear of rejection or put down.  c. Men and women are so different in this area.  Saturday, March 29, 2014 15
  16. 16.  A) Women want to share themselves, their feelings, their joys, their problems, and their fears.  B) Men want to share their world. They want to give advice and solve problems. They want to share information and there is a world of difference. Saturday, March 29, 2014 16
  17. 17.  A wife really needs a friend. She needs the kind of friends that will simply listen to her and not give her reasons why it will not work.  It really doesn’t work when you try giving only instructions or orders Saturday, March 29, 2014 17
  18. 18.  6. Being INTIMATE with your spouse.  Adam knew Eve. . . “Knowing each other is the essence of intimacy.”  Good sex begins with a good relationship - loving, caring, and understanding. Saturday, March 29, 2014 18
  19. 19.  7. UNDERSTAND and APPRECIATE the differences between man and woman.  We are not the same and we need to appreciate it.  We think differently. Saturday, March 29, 2014 19
  20. 20.  8. We must both have continued GROWTH and DEVELOPMENT.  We are either growing together or growing apart.  Marriage is not like a picture, because it is continually changing. Saturday, March 29, 2014 20
  21. 21.  What are some ways a husband and wife can grow together?  a. Have a growth plan - determine personal interests.  b. Challenge each other to grow.  c. Have growing experiences together.  d. Grow as friends.  e. Have new experiences in life.  f. Share with your spouse what you are learning. Saturday, March 29, 2014 21
  22. 22.  9. Living with a SERVANT’S HEART for my spouse.  Both spouses must be willing to serve and not to be served.  One has to go an extra mile in service in the marriage. Saturday, March 29, 2014 22
  23. 23.  10. Both spouses must have a new DEFINITION of marriage success.  The people who are the closest to me should love and respect me the most.  Not being world famous Saturday, March 29, 2014 23
  24. 24. Finally  When one understands marriage, four things come to mind:  1. SECURITY — “I love you unconditionally.”  2. SELF WORTH — “You are important in our relationship.”  3. SENSITIVITY — “I want to sense and meet your needs.”  4. SHARING — “I want to spend my life with you.” Saturday, March 29, 2014 24
  25. 25.  Listen to what God says in Matthew 19:6  So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.“ (NKJV)  Marriage is not a trial or an experiment. It is a very important function in one’s life. We come into marriage to enjoy the marriage, serve in the marriage, give our all into marriage and our bodies, souls and minds are bonded in the marriage. Saturday, March 29, 2014 25