Building a strong marriage

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  • 1. BUILDING A STRONGMARRIAGE11 June 20131
  • 2. I. The Scripture is clear on how weare to build our marriages. Scripture: Ephesians 5:21-33 “Out of respect for Christ, becourteously reverent to oneanother. Wives, understand andsupport your husbands in waysthat show your support for Christ.The husband provides leadershipto his wife the way Christ does to11 June 20132
  • 3.  ……………… …..And this providesa good picture of how eachhusband is to treat his wife, lovinghimself in loving her, and howeach wife is to honor herhusband”.(MSG)11 June 20133
  • 4.  A. A wife is to UNDERSTAND andSUPPORT her husband.B. A husband is to provideLEADERSHIP by CHERISHING hiswife.11 June 20134
  • 5. C. A wife should SUBMIT to herhusband like the church submitsto Christ.D. A husband is to doEVERYTHING POSSIBLE to lovehis wife and may your love bemarked by giving and not getting.11 June 20135
  • 6.  * With that in mind it is easier tounderstand this thought, “Even ifmarriages are made in heaven, wehave to be responsible for themaintenance. * But when you have a good or happymarriage it will help everything elsein your life.11 June 20136
  • 7.  I want to share with you somebuilding blocks that if used canhelp you have a strongmarriage which can stand thetest of time.11 June 20137
  • 8. II. Here are six building blocks fora strong foundation. 1. A COMMITMENT TO MYCOMPANION IS THE FIRST BLOCK. What are you committed to first?Where do you spend most of yourtime? What do you talk about themost?11 June 20138
  • 9.  The motto of successful marriagesis “FAMILY FIRST”. Most marriagesthat fall apart do not do sobecause of huge problems butbecause of the lack of HUGECOMMITMENT.11 June 20139
  • 10.  When there is commitment first tothe family, then other things canbe successfully added. The keyword is to work at it.11 June 201310
  • 11.  The second building block for astrong foundation is: 2. A WILLINGNESS TO TALK TO MYCOMPANION. I hope this is not true for you, butsomeone said, „We forgot how tocooperate, we forgot how toassociate, and we forgot how tocommunicate.‟ 11 June 201311
  • 12.  Sad to say, but too many bridesbecome widows after the weddingbecause they fail to communicate.11 June 201312
  • 13.  Intimacy may be defined here as:“The degree to which we sharevulnerabilities (our weaknesses)in words.” How can I know that I am intimatein my communication? Here‟show:11 June 201313
  • 14.  We can know we are intimate ifeach of us can say anything, nomatter how silly or frightened orimmature or helpless it makes uslook, and the other person willtreat it with respect, and not use itagainst us.11 June 201314
  • 15.  The third building block for a strongfoundation is: 3.A WORKING TOWARDSCOMPATIBILITY. I hope you understand that nocouple is completely compatible. Butmay it be understood that in a strongmarriage couples work togetherbecoming more and morecompatible. 11 June 201315
  • 16.  A. There are certain criteria you musthave or work toward in order toaccomplish good compatibility. i. VALUES Values are what is important to you. Our children pick these up oftenwithout us teaching them. When wehave the same values we havefreedom with each other. 11 June 201316
  • 17.  ii. SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS Friends are an important part ofour social relationships. Yourfriendships should be sharedtogether, not separate. Be careful how close you get toother individual couples.11 June 201317
  • 18.  iii. INTELLECTUAL GROWTH Learning and growing togetherwill assure both partners a goodfuture in their marriage. If both partners are not growingthe marriage will either fail or onlybe average.11 June 201318
  • 19.  iv. LEISURE INTERESTS Understanding your companionsinterests are important to yourbeing compatible.11 June 201319
  • 20.  v. SEXUAL COMPLETENESS This refers to the total male-female relationship, not just 15minutes of sexual intercourse. Sex is a special look, a specialtouch, the special way you relateas male and female.11 June 201320
  • 21.  This includes a unique behaviorbetween a husband and wife thatis not shared with anyone else.11 June 201321
  • 22.  The fourth building block for astrong foundation is: 4. AN UNDERSTANDING OF YOURLEADERSHIP ROLES. a. Marriage is the only union thatcan‟t be organized. Both sides thinkthey are in management.11 June 201322
  • 23.  b. Four possible relationship styles: i. RETALIATION - Moving againsteach other. ii. DOMINATION - Moving one overanother. iii. ISOLATION - Moving away fromeach other. iv. COOPERATION - Moving witheach other. 11 June 201323
  • 24.  c. The less respect in a marriage, themore one controls. The less respectfor oneself lets the other one control. The less respect in a marriage themore one runs over the other.11 June 201324
  • 25.  The fifth building block for astrong foundation is: 5. A SPECIAL CONSIDERATIONFOR YOUR COMPANION. a. You can tell a man‟s characterby the way he treats his wife. A man‟s job is to spoil his wife.11 June 201325
  • 26.  b. How to properly spoil yourcompanion: i. Think from their PERSPECTIVE. ii. Make a list of little things theyLOVE. iii. DO the little things they love. iv. DO the little things they loveCHEERFULLY. v. AFFIRM your spouse11 June 201326
  • 27.  The sixth building block for astrong foundation is: 6. A WILLINGNESS TO WORKTOGETHER SOLVING PROBLEMS. a. We need to clearly understandthat whenever you have 2 or morepeople having a continuingrelationship there will be conflict.11 June 201327
  • 28.  b. Whenever there is conflictthere can only be one of twooutcomes. i. We will either hurt and evendestroy each other. ii. Or we will build up eachother and benefit from theexperience.11 June 201328
  • 29.  c. How should we solve problemsin our marriage? i. Do not underestimate yourproblem. To illustrate this you can think ofproblems kind of like apregnancy, things will keepgrowing until somebody willnotice. 11 June 201329
  • 30.  When there is a conflict look toresolve it, ignoring it will not makeit go away. ii. Do not underestimate yourpotential to recover from theseproblems.11 June 201330
  • 31.  You must remember that the problemsyou have encountered in yourmarriage have already beenencountered by millions of otherpeople of which millions have beensuccessful in them. You and your problems are not uniquejust to you. Be encouraged, othershave gone through it successfully.11 June 201331
  • 32.  iii. Do not exaggerate yourproblem. Please quit making them biggerthan life. Too often a small problemis fueled and it ends up being a lotbigger than you could ever dream itto be. iv. Consider all the possiblesolutions for your problem and pick11 June 201332
  • 33.  v. If your problems are not beingprogressively solved be willing toseek help if really needed. Asking for help is not a sign ofdefeat but a sign of hope. Asking for help is a definite sign ofyour desire to solve yourproblems.11 June 201333
  • 34.  There are some problems whichneed a third party to help eachside see themselves as they reallyare.11 June 201334
  • 35.  d. Let me encourage you with this:One thing you really need to knowis if you really do have a problem. There are some things in a familythat are just not going to change. Don‟t take this in a negative wayor to give up the problem.11 June 201335
  • 36.  Remember, we are all differentpeople and all have our differentways and different personalities. It is not really a problem fordifferent personalities to never seethings in the same way or like thesame things.11 June 201336
  • 37. FINALLY Prayer: Let‟s pray a prayer ofcommitment to acknowledging andconfirming and resolving theconflicts in our marriages. Theywill not resolve on their own.Prayers are key.11 June 201337