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Enhancing Interpersonal Skills tohandle Conflict Management
What we want from life ?Some Observations• Pleasure of living• Pleasure to serve the society• Success• Happiness• Sense of...
Interpersonal Relations• Interpersonal relations is the key whichunlocks many business problems.• Interpersonal relations ...
• The beginning of ‘everything’ happening inbusiness and core of all actions is humanactivity• Nothing of any consequence ...
Interpersonal relationships are socialassociations, connections, or affiliationsbetween two or more people.They vary in di...
• It explains why one man works harder thanthe other.• Why one employee quits his job muchsooner than the other.• Why one ...
• Interpersonal Relations stand for thedevelopment of an effective organization.• It is more than winning friends andinflu...
The concept of Emotional Intelligence comesfrom understanding others’ feelings andattitude, thereby developing more respec...
Emotional Intelligence &Intelligence Quotient• IQ offers little to explain the different destines of peoplewith roughly eq...
The problem is not with emotionality butwith the appropriateness of emotions andits expression.The challenge is to manage ...
Interpersonal Relations are the integrationof people into work situations that motivatethem to work together.
Interpersonal relations deals with• Human emotions• Impulses and• Deep feelingsThese arise out of one`s needsand drives su...
Psychology of InterpersonalRelations
Why do people
OPEN AREAHIDDEN AREAOF ONE’SPERSONALITYBLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELFU...
TransactionalAnalysis
18What is T.A.?TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS ...• PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED• MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED• A LEADERSHIP S...
Objective of TATo provide better understanding ofhow people relate to each other sothat they may develop betterunderstandi...
20REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF T.A. INMANAGEMENTSIMPLELANGUAGEUSEFUL AT WORK &AT HOMEDEMONSTRATEDSUCCESS IN BUS.ORGANIZATIONS...
21BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)THREE BASICEGO STATESFURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATESP(PARENT)A(ADULT)C(CHILD)C...
22TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ONTHE JOBCRITICALPARENTNURTURINGPARENTADULT“CAN’T YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUS...
23TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONSP PACCAP PACCAP PACCAP PACCAP PACCAP PACCACOMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOREXPECTED RESP...
24EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARYTRANSACTIONS ON THE JOBP PACCAP PACCAP PACCA(1) ACS: “CAN I GET YOUANYTHING FROMDOWN STAIRS?”(2...
25EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONSON THE JOBP PACCAPP PACCA(1) MANAGER: “ DIDYOU FINISH THEBUDGETESTIMATES?”(2) ANALYST: “...
26EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONSP PACCAP PACCA(1) EMPLOYEE: “SORRY, I WON’T HAVE THEPROJECT DOCUMENT READY FORTOMORROW’...
Handling relationships• The art of relationship is mostly theskill of managing emotions in others.• These are the abilitie...
Improving Emotional IntelligenceRecognizing Emotions in others• Empathy is the fundamental peopleskill.• People who are em...
EI Adds Value• Helps not to run people down• Assists to build up relations gradually• Prompts to empathiseEI is Sensitive ...
Interpersonal relations add value• An industrial relations trainer wrote on theboard - 1+1= 2, 2+2= 4, 3+3= 6.• He made a ...
AnecdotesSymbolismAnd Stories OnInterpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody• Treat people as individuals.• People are not machines nor merely units ofproductive capacity.• Ever...
Do not run down people• Two things are bad for heart:Running upstairs and running down people.• Benjamin Franklin adds:“To...
Built up gradually• Interpersonal relations are built upgradually like a castle - brick upon brick.• Nurture it tenderly.•...
Techniques of improvinginterpersonal skills• Sensitivity to one`s attitude.• Sensitivity to others` motivational needs.• R...
Sensitivity To One`s Attitude• No steam or gas ever drives anything untilit is confined.• No life ever grows until it is f...
Arm yourself with a smile• With a smile you can disarm even yourenemy.• A leader with a sense of humor is morewarmly accep...
Control your anger• Man Is the product of his environment. It isbut natural that you are in the mood ofanger sometimes.• A...
Self ConfidenceSelf confidence is the awareness of one`sown worth and will power.
Sensitive To The Motivation OfOthersGreet your peopleEvery morning your men wait to greet you.To return a greeting indiffe...
Address your people by nameYou must identify your people by name andnot by designation or physical appearance.
Develop Emotional BondageWith Your PeopleYou cannot bear the weight of certain emotionsWords .Every loving touch is a comm...
He is somebody to you• Create occasions to introduce your men toyour visitors.• This is the opportunity to speak good ofyo...
Respect one`s opinions andconvictionsThe right to express one`s opinions andconvictions is to be respected howeversmall on...
Social Calls - Cementing EffectVisit the families of your men occasionally,it stenghthen your relations.You do not have to...
Recognize One`s Feelings AndSentiments• Your men know well that you are theirsuperior.• It is your inferiority complex tha...
Admit your mistake• To err is human. To accept error isgreatness.• Unfortunately, it is the tendency of everyhuman being t...
Courtesy Pays• President Lincoln was strolling with hisfriend when an old Negro passing by bowedand tipped his hat. Lincol...
Ability Of EffectiveCommunication• Communication besides being simple has tobe absolutely clear.• Communication is a flash...
Listen To Others• Some people are adamant in not listening toothers. They want only to talk. Theyprevent others from sayin...
It is a joy to be heard• One of the joys of life is to know that youhave been heard and understood correctlyand to know th...
Listen with your eyes• Difficulties do not vanish when you ignorethem.If we neglect a situation, it mightreach a boiling p...
To Work Effectively AsA Team MemberKeep Trying• Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream. Eachtime they tried to come up, the...
Elevate the general morale ofyour peopleBuild up loyalty and sincerity of yourpeople by being up front line, especiallywhe...
Identify hidden talents• Your role as a leader is to identify hiddentalents and• To develop the strength of individualswor...
Ability Of Self Awareness AndSocial AwarenessIf you attempt to please each and everybody,you will go madAn old man had two...
Respect social sentiments• People do not like sudden changes.• We can not abruptly change social customs,traditions and va...
Get feedback• It is vital to take a feedback to find out whatyour men think about you.• You may need some corrections.• Ev...
Saint Kabir Dasis widely acknowledged as oneof the great personality of the Bhaktimovement in North India. He was born i...
He is one of the medieval Indian saints ofBhakti and Sufi movement whose compositionsfigure in Sikh Scripture “the Guru G...
कबीर के दोहे
• ितनका कबहँ ना िनदये, जो पाँव तले होय।कबहँ उड़ आँखो पड़े, पीर घानेरी होय ॥• बडा हआ तो कया हआ जैसे पेड़ खजूर।पंथी को छाया नही...
• साधू गाँठ न बाँधई उदर समाता लेय।आगे पाछे हरी खड़े जब माँगे तब देय॥• साई इतना दीिजये, जा मे कुटुम समाय ।मै भी भूखा न रहँ, ...
• माटी कहे कुमहार से, तु कया रौदे मोय ।एक िदन ऐसा आएगा, मै रौदूगी तोय ॥• रात गंवाई सोय के, िदवस गंवाया खाय ।हीरा जनम अमोल ...
• जो तोको काँटा बुवै तािह बोव तू फू ल।तोिह फू ल को फू ल है वाको हैितरसुल॥
Proven Ways to Get AlongBetter With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone, ask yourself 3things:1. Is it true?2. Is it kind?3. Is it necessary?
Make promises sparingly and keep themfaithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment orsay something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others; dontgossip and dont listen to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude. Believe that mostpeople are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind; discuss, but dont argue.(It is possible to disagree without beingdisagreeable.)
If someone criticizes you, see if there is any TRUTH towhat he is saying; if so, make changes. If there is notruth to the ...
Cultivate your sense of humor; laughter is the shortestdistance between two people.Do not seek so much to be consoled, as ...
I pray that all of us will keep these points in mind . Withthese principles, we can continuously improve ourpersonal relat...
Types• Kinship Relationships- theseincludes family relationships.(Father and Mother )• Formalized intimaterelationships- t...
• Friendship- mutual love, trust,respect and unconditionalacceptance. (internetfriendships, pen pals)• Partners or coworke...
Factors affecting InterpersonalRelationships• Common Grounds• IntimateRelationship• PopularPsychology• Friendship• Abusive...
• Common Grounds- is a technique forfacilitating interpersonal relationships.The participants must search for signals ofre...
Intimate relationship- An interpersonalrelationship with a great deal of physicalor emotional intimacy.It is usually chara...
Popular psychology- popularly known aspop psychology, refers to concepts andtheories about human mental life andbehavior t...
Friendship- Arelationship whichinvolves mutualknowledge, esteem andaffection.
Abusive Relationship -interpersonalrelationship characterized by the use or threatof physical or psychological abuse.Abusi...
Social relation- can refer to amultitude of social interactions,regulated by social norms, between twoor more people, with...
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONALRELATIONSHIPS• Develop Mutual Respect• Practice Empathy• Be warm and Genuine• Practice Self-Disclos...
ConflictManagementMax & Max
• Meet Max– Max is a dog of the finest breeding.– He was rigorously trained to retrieve game atthe slightest nod from his ...
• Meet Mr. Harold– Mr. Harold is an average manager ofcustomer service for New World Imports.– Service is the byword in hi...
• Conflict is a necessary andhealthy part of the life of allorganizations.• Conflict on the job usuallyrepresents the norm...
• Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job.• One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that itsometimes produ...
When there is potential for one party to negatively impactanother party:Supervisor – subordinate relationshipsTeam members...
• Communication problems– Ambiguity– Mixed messages• Verbalize one thing, yet your bodylanguage says another– Structural v...
• Personal factors– Personality clashes• Type A versus Type B– Value systems• National culture dimensions• Different empha...
Causes of Conflict:• Personality differences• Value differences• Differences in Perspectives• Differences in Goals• Differ...
• Poor communication• Seeking power• Dissatisfaction with management style• Weak leadership• Lack of openness• Change in l...
Body languageDisagreements, regardless of issueWithholding bad newsSurprisesStrong public statementsAiring disagreem...
 Desire for power Increasing lack of respect Open disagreement Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive is...
Constructive Conflict• Results in clarification of important problemsand issues.• Results in solutions to problems.• Cause...
Destructive ConflictTakes attention away from other importantactivities.Undermines morale or self-concept.Polarizes peo...
Types of Conflict
The Conflict Process
Managing conflict
Managing conflict• Encouraging Functional Conflicts– Encourage dissent by asking tough questions.– Bring people with diffe...
Functional Conflict• Functional Conflict– Conflict that supports the goals of the group andimproves performance• “When two...
Dysfunctional Conflict• Conflict that hinders performance• Relationship conflict– Stems from interpersonal relationships– ...
Managing Dysfunctionalconflict• Managing Dysfunctional Conflicts– Mediates the conflicts– Arbitrate the conflicts.– Contro...
Collaborating: win/winCompromising: winsome/lose someAccommodating:lose/winCompeting: win/loseAvoiding: no winners/noloser...
Resolving Team Conflict• Conflict is an emotional disturbance ordisagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Conflict Clarify and identify the cause ofconflict Determine the common goal Determine options...
Conflict Resolution• Super-ordinate goals– Overarching, shared goal that cannot be attained withoutcooperation of each of ...
Conflict Resolution• Mediation– Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-offs, suggests alternatives...
Conflict Resolution Techniques• Problem solving• Super co-ordinate goals• Expansion of resources• Avoidance• Smoothing• Co...
Meditation• Close your eyes – Relax• Wear a Gentle Smile• Go in deeper Relaxation• Deep Breathe• Gently roll up your Eyeba...
to delegate,all you needisfaithin the otherperson ...Andfaithmovesmountains !Delegation
If We Handle Life SituationsWell, the Conflict can bebetter Managed
Worry As Cause Of ConflictWorry As Cause Of ConflictWorryingforsituationswhich neverhappens. 40%Worryingforsituationswhich...
We listen &Find SolutionsEGOSELFRemain at Base LevelAccept Authority of OtherEGOOTHER PERSONEgo Cause Of Conflict-Ego Caus...
TENSIONCONFLICTFRUSTRATIONHELPLESSNESSINSULTANGERDEPRESSIONSTRESSConflict A Silent KillerConflict A Silent KillerAGRESSION
Attitude is EverythingChange Your Attitude...And You Change Your Life!
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood toothers. It is the way you look at things.Your feelings, desires, fears, co...
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THANATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THANFACTSFACTSAttitude is more important than the past,education...
A SMALLA SMALLTRUTH TOTRUTH TOMAKE LIFEMAKE LIFE100%100%
Hard workHard workH+A+R+D+W+O+R+K8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =98%KnowledgeKnowledgeK+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
LoveLoveL+O+V+E12+15+22+5 = 54%LuckLuckL+U+C+K12+21+3+11 = 47%(dont most of us think this is the most important???)
Then what makes 100%?Is it MoneyMoney? ... NO!!!!![M+O+N+E+Y =13+15+14+5+25 = 72%]LeadershipLeadership? ... NO!!!![L+E+A+D...
ATTITUDEATTITUDEA+T+T+I+T+U+D+EA+T+T+I+T+U+D+E1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%It isIt is OUR ATTITUDEO...
Every problem has a solution,Every problem has a solution,only if we perhaps change ouronly if we perhaps change ourattitu...
Positive A++itudeWhen you think positively about yourself, you workharder at what you want to do - and give up lesseasily....
Positive A++itudeLife is "now"Time to do what you want to do is nowDesire to achieveCommitment to achieveCapacity to get a...
Positive Attitude – Key to Success• No Matter what Attitude we adopt, the flow of lifecontinues but in the moment we do ha...
Building Positive Attitude•Look for goodness in people•Build a positive Self Esteem•Avoid Negative Influences•Work on Cont...
Dynamics of Positive AttitudeAttitudeActivatorPersonalityAttitude InActionResult• Anticipation• Expectation• Hope• Confide...
Dynamics of Negative AttitudeAttitudeActivatorPersonalityAttitude InActionResult• Fear• Doubt• Envy• Anger• Conceit• Self ...
YourAttitudeDeterminesYourAltitude
“ A young lady waswaiting her flight inthe boarding room of abig airport.
As shewould waitfor manyhours, shedecided tobuy a bookto spend hertime. Shealso boughta packet ofcookies.
She sat down ona airmchair, inthe VIP room ofthe airport, torest and read inpeace.
Beside theairmchair therewas the packetof cookies, aman sat down,opened hismagazine andstarted reading.
When she cought thefirst cookie, the mancought one also.She felt herselfinfuriate but didn’tsay anything. She justthought:...
To each cokkieshe cought, theman cought oneeither.That wasletting herinfuriated butshe couldn’t
When remainedonly one cookie,she thought:“ah... What thisabused man willdo now?”Then, the man,divided the lastcookie in th...
Ah! That was too much!She was too much angry!Then, she caught her book, caught her things andheaded to the boarding place.
When she satdown in anarmchair, insidethe plane, shelooked into herpurse to catch hereyeglasses, and, toher surprise, herp...
She felt somuchashamed!!She realizedthat shewas thewrong one...She hadforgottenthat hercookies werekept intoher purse.
The man dividedhis cookies withher, wihtoutfeeling infuriated,nervous or mad...
...while she wasbeen very mad,thinking that hewas dividing hercookies withhim.but there was nomore time toexplain herself....
There are 4 things that u can’t recover...
The stone......after shot!
The word... ......after pronounced!
The occasion...... after lost!
The time......after gone!
Forgiveness is your BiggestAsset
Unplug your negative thoughtsOne of the keys toovercomingdepression is learninghow to control yourlow moods andreversing t...
Express it appropriatelyEven though it may feel good to snap at theobject of your fury, do not. Speak up. Say‘Let us talk ...
Do Not Accuse• You can explain what makes youangry without attacking the otherperson.• Say. “I feel angry when ….»Not “You...
Arrest Anxiety• Another emotion, one usually generated byinner rather than outer demons is anxiety.• You may be experienci...
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off theexcess adrenaline thatfuels your feelings ofanxiety.Exercise releasesendorphins...
• Meet Max– Max is a dog of the finest breeding.– He was rigorously trained to retrieve gameat the slightest nod from his ...
• Meet Mr. Harold– Mr. Harold is an average manager of customerservice for New World Imports.– Service is the byword in hi...
Enchansing interpersonal skills to handle conflict management
Enchansing interpersonal skills to handle conflict management
Enchansing interpersonal skills to handle conflict management
Enchansing interpersonal skills to handle conflict management
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Enchansing interpersonal skills to handle conflict management

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  • As stated in the previous slide, there are many different causes for conflict. The results of the Myers-Briggs test confirm that people inherently process and interact with others differently. Consequently, personality differences will most likely exist among team members. The conflict arises when the differences in personality involve a mismatch in the behavioral expectations. Understanding this, team members should look beyond the personalities and search for the objective, subject matter at hand. It may not be possible to get the team members to like one another, but at least they should be able to reach a state where the member’s expectations are clearly defined, the team members understand their differences and can work collaboratively together. Value differences exist when team members have divergent points of view based on strongly held personal values. These value differences could be from personal, cultural, social, or religious influences. This may lead to conflict when the team members holds his/her value above collaboration. The members need to strive to consider these value differences and determine the impact on the project. Members also have differences in perspectives because of their background, experiences, skills and position. The team should look to exploit these differences to strengthen the team’s effectiveness, not weakness. Identifying and recognizing these strengths in a task oriented manner will help the team be more effective. Team members should recognize and respect the differences which enhance creativity and collective imagination. Team members may also have personal objectives that conflict with the team goals. These are called “hidden agenda”. Members need to reflect on their own priorities and recognize that the importance of the team’s goals over personal goals. Many times, especially in cross-functional teams, members may report to a different department manager in the organization. Conflicts can arise from issues based on the departmental affiliations. Team leaders should look to work out the conflict within the organization and focus the team members to the team’s objectives. Ambiguities about responsibilities can also cause conflict between members. When this occurs, the team should try to eliminate the ambiguity by either setting up a procedure or encouraging communication to deal with the special situation.
  • The last factor for successful teamwork is to have an effective method for resolving conflict. A natural by-product of decision making is conflict. Conflict is the emotional disturbance or disagreement resulting from a clash of opposing points of view. There are many causes for conflict in a team environment. To better understand and eliminate the conflicts within a team, one should better understand the causes of the conflicts. If teams members take steps of communication, cooperation and support, they will help to prevent conflict. However, when conflict does occur, a successful team has an effective strategy to manage the conflict.
  • Effective conflict management is necessary for a team to be successful. Here is one method to manage team conflict. There are six steps as follows: Step 1: Clarify and identify the cause of conflict. Team members should seek and try to understand each other’s point of view. Step 2: Determine the common goal: Team members should try to find common goals on which all members can agree. Step 3: Determine the options: team members should discuss their ideas with other members, look for other options and explore all the options. Step 4: Determine and remove barriers: The team should ask “ what are the barriers? What would happen if they are removed?”. This will help the team determine what can or cannot be changed. Step 5: Team members should settle on a solution that everyone can accept. Finally, Step 6: team members should recognize the win-win solution. They should make sure that all parties understand what the solution means to them.
  • Transcript of "Enchansing interpersonal skills to handle conflict management"

    1. 1. Enhancing Interpersonal Skills tohandle Conflict Management
    2. 2. What we want from life ?Some Observations• Pleasure of living• Pleasure to serve the society• Success• Happiness• Sense of uniqueness• Inner satisfaction• Desire to contribute• Recognition• Sense of togetherness• Sense of dignity
    3. 3. Interpersonal Relations• Interpersonal relations is the key whichunlocks many business problems.• Interpersonal relations is satisfyinggroup efforts.• It is a discipline in itself.
    4. 4. • The beginning of ‘everything’ happening inbusiness and core of all actions is humanactivity• Nothing of any consequence happens untilhuman beings want to act• Individuals are hired/selected based on theirtechnical skills but their success on the job isbased on Human Relation Skills• People need people. Human experienceinvolves interaction or relationship with otherpeople.
    5. 5. Interpersonal relationships are socialassociations, connections, or affiliationsbetween two or more people.They vary in differing levels of intimacyand sharing, or establishment ofcommon ground.The study of relationships is of concernto sociology, psychology andanthropology
    6. 6. • It explains why one man works harder thanthe other.• Why one employee quits his job muchsooner than the other.• Why one group of employee restricts theiroutput and and another works energetically.
    7. 7. • Interpersonal Relations stand for thedevelopment of an effective organization.• It is more than winning friends andinfluencing people.• It is based on the recognition of humanfeelings and aspirations in theorganizations.
    8. 8. The concept of Emotional Intelligence comesfrom understanding others’ feelings andattitude, thereby developing more respect forpeople and accepting them as individualsEmotional Intelligence, Interpersonal Skills,Relationship Management Skills, BehavioralSkills are just different names for an ability todeal with people in a warm, positive and resultoriented manner.
    9. 9. Emotional Intelligence &Intelligence Quotient• IQ offers little to explain the different destines of peoplewith roughly equal promises, schooling, andopportunity.• 95 Harvard students from classes of 1940s werefollowed into middle age. It was found that the menwith the highest test scores in college were notparticularly successful compared to their lower-scoringpeers in terms of salary, productivity, or status in theirown field. They also did not have the greatest lifesatisfaction nor high levels of happiness withfriendships, family and romantic relationship.
    10. 10. The problem is not with emotionality butwith the appropriateness of emotions andits expression.The challenge is to manage our emotionallife with intelligence.
    11. 11. Interpersonal Relations are the integrationof people into work situations that motivatethem to work together.
    12. 12. Interpersonal relations deals with• Human emotions• Impulses and• Deep feelingsThese arise out of one`s needsand drives such as:• The instinct of security and possession• Emotions like love, hate, anger, fear, pridecuriosity etc.
    13. 13. Psychology of InterpersonalRelations
    14. 14. Why do people
    15. 15. OPEN AREAHIDDEN AREAOF ONE’SPERSONALITYBLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELFUNKNOWN OR DARKAREA OF ONE’SPERSONALITY NOTKNOWN TO ANYONE.SelfKnown UnknownKnownUnknownIt gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tellothers about one’s self) one feedback (Individualsusceptibility to one’s ownself).JOHARI WINDOW
    16. 16. TransactionalAnalysis
    17. 17. 18What is T.A.?TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS ...• PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED• MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED• A LEADERSHIP STYLE• A TRAINING TOOL• AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT,AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEYDO• AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS
    18. 18. Objective of TATo provide better understanding ofhow people relate to each other sothat they may develop betterunderstanding and improvedhuman relationships.
    19. 19. 20REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF T.A. INMANAGEMENTSIMPLELANGUAGEUSEFUL AT WORK &AT HOMEDEMONSTRATEDSUCCESS IN BUS.ORGANIZATIONSNON-THREATENINGSELF-ANALYSISAPPROPRIATEFOR “NORMALPEOPLE”BUILT-IN HUMOR
    20. 20. 21BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)THREE BASICEGO STATESFURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATESP(PARENT)A(ADULT)C(CHILD)CRITICAL PARENTNURTURING PARENTADULTADAPTED CHILDNATURAL CHILDLECTURING, CRITICIZING, MANY“OUGHTS”, “SHOULD” &”DON’TS”CONSOLING, “TAKING CARE” OFOTHERS, SYMPATHYOBJECTIVE, RATIONAL, ORIENTEDTOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING, DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTIONMODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORMTO ADULT EXPECTATIONS,MANUPULATIVE, SUMBISSIVEPLAYFUL, IMPULSIVE, NATULRALLYCURIOUS &CREATIVE, FUN LOVING,REBELLIOUS
    21. 21. 22TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ONTHE JOBCRITICALPARENTNURTURINGPARENTADULT“CAN’T YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCE?”“WHAT, IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAIL?”“I’M SURPRISED AT YOU… THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT ISLOUSY”“I’M ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU”“LET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU, MR. SMITH”“YOU’VE DONE A SWELL JOB”ADAPTEDCHILDNATURALCHILD“WHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVES?”“CAN’T WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISE?”“WHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVE?”“ANYTHING YOU SAY, SIR!”“SORRY, I’LL TRY TO IMPROVE.”“WHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOU”“NOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAY.”“FORGET ABOUT IT, HE’S JUST THE BOSS”“LET’S KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY! WHO WANTS TO WORK ON AFRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAY?”
    22. 22. 23TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONSP PACCAP PACCAP PACCAP PACCAP PACCAP PACCACOMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOREXPECTED RESPONSE,NO CONFLICTPRODUCE CONFLICT, STOPCOMMUNICATION, HURT FEELINGSVERBAL COMMUNICATIONNON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING
    23. 23. 24EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARYTRANSACTIONS ON THE JOBP PACCAP PACCAP PACCA(1) ACS: “CAN I GET YOUANYTHING FROMDOWN STAIRS?”(2) MANAGER: “YOUSURE KNOW HOW TOTAKE CARE OF ME, ”NURTURING PARENTTO ADAPTED CHILD(1)(2)(1) MANAGER: “WHATCOULD WE DO TOMEET THE DEADLINEON THIS PROJECT?”(2) EMPLOYEE: “WECOULD TAKE ACOUPLE OF PEOPLEOFF THE OTHERPROJECT FOR AWHILE AND PUTTHEM ON THIS ONE.”(1) FIRST PTL: “GEE, IWISH I WERE OUT ONTHE GOLF COURSERIGHT NOW.”(2) SECOND PTL: “LET’STAKE OFF. WHOWANTS TO LISTEN TOTHE VP ANYWAY?’ADULT TO ADULTTRANSACTIONNATURAL CHILD TONATURAL CHILD(1)(2) (1)(2)
    24. 24. 25EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONSON THE JOBP PACCAPP PACCA(1) MANAGER: “ DIDYOU FINISH THEBUDGETESTIMATES?”(2) ANALYST: “HOWCAN I IF THEWHOLE PROCESSDOESN’T MAKESENSE.”ADULT-TO-ADULTCROSSED BYCRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE(1)(2)(1) MANAGER: COMEOVER HERE!”(DEMANDING TONEOF VOICE)(2) EMPLOYEE: “WHYDON’T YOU COMEOVER HERE? IT’SJUST AS FAR!”(1) SUPERVISOR: “HOWCOME GETTING ALAPTOP FOR TRAVELIS ALWAYS HARD ”(2) IT SPECIALIST: “HOWSHOULD I KNOW, IONLY WORK HERE’PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BYCRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUSCHILD RESPONSEADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSESUP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TOPARENT RESPONSE(1)(2)ACPACPACPAC(1)(2)(2)(1)
    25. 25. 26EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONSP PACCAP PACCA(1) EMPLOYEE: “SORRY, I WON’T HAVE THEPROJECT DOCUMENT READY FORTOMORROW’S DEADLINE.”(2) MANAGER: “IT’S O.K. I’VE BEEN THINKINGOF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSEANYWAY.”(1)(2)(1) SALESMAN: “THIS CAR HAS GOTEVERYTHING YOU’D EVER WANTFROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR– BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVEFOR YOU.”(2) CUSTOMER: “WELL LET’S GIVE IT ATEST DRIVE..” (HIDDEN MEANING:“WHO DOES HE THINK I AM?”)(2)(1)(2)(1)(2)(1)
    26. 26. Handling relationships• The art of relationship is mostly theskill of managing emotions in others.• These are the abilities that enhancepopularity, leadership, andinterpersonal effectiveness.• People who excel in these skills dowell at anything that involvesinteracting with others and are socialstars
    27. 27. Improving Emotional IntelligenceRecognizing Emotions in others• Empathy is the fundamental peopleskill.• People who are empathic are moreattuned to the subtle signalsindicating what others want or need.
    28. 28. EI Adds Value• Helps not to run people down• Assists to build up relations gradually• Prompts to empathiseEI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others• Develops emotional bondage with people• Count on People and trust them• Respect others convictions and opinions
    29. 29. Interpersonal relations add value• An industrial relations trainer wrote on theboard - 1+1= 2, 2+2= 4, 3+3= 6.• He made a dozen simple additions.• Finally he wrote 13+13= 27.• The entire class shouted, “wrong, wrong”• The trainer pointed out to them that they didnot appreciate him when he was right butonce he went wrong, the whole classcriticized him immediately andunanimously.
    30. 30. AnecdotesSymbolismAnd Stories OnInterpersonal Relations
    31. 31. Everybody is somebody• Treat people as individuals.• People are not machines nor merely units ofproductive capacity.• Every human being has a feeling of selfimportance and ego.• Bear in mind this psychological factor,especially when you deal with people at thelower level
    32. 32. Do not run down people• Two things are bad for heart:Running upstairs and running down people.• Benjamin Franklin adds:“To be humble to superiors is duty, to equals: courtesy, To inferiors : nobleness.”
    33. 33. Built up gradually• Interpersonal relations are built upgradually like a castle - brick upon brick.• Nurture it tenderly.• Slip of a single harsh word can destroy itlike a sand castle crumbling down by asingle stroke.
    34. 34. Techniques of improvinginterpersonal skills• Sensitivity to one`s attitude.• Sensitivity to others` motivational needs.• Recognising one`s feelings andsentiments.• Ability of effective communication.• To work effectively as a team member.• Ability of self awareness and socialawareness.
    35. 35. Sensitivity To One`s Attitude• No steam or gas ever drives anything untilit is confined.• No life ever grows until it is focussed,dedicated and disciplined.• The man who has to control others mustlearn to control himself. If he cannot controlwhat is under his hat, he cannot controlwhat is under his roof.
    36. 36. Arm yourself with a smile• With a smile you can disarm even yourenemy.• A leader with a sense of humor is morewarmly acceptable to his followers.
    37. 37. Control your anger• Man Is the product of his environment. It isbut natural that you are in the mood ofanger sometimes.• Anger can damage human relations. It isimportant that till you calm down, do nottalk to anybody, do nothing.
    38. 38. Self ConfidenceSelf confidence is the awareness of one`sown worth and will power.
    39. 39. Sensitive To The Motivation OfOthersGreet your peopleEvery morning your men wait to greet you.To return a greeting indifferently is likethrowing a splash of cold water.The few seconds you spent on greeting yourpeople is very important for the day.
    40. 40. Address your people by nameYou must identify your people by name andnot by designation or physical appearance.
    41. 41. Develop Emotional BondageWith Your PeopleYou cannot bear the weight of certain emotionsWords .Every loving touch is a communication of esteemand care. It tells silently aloud that you are caredfor.When you keep your hand on the shoulder of yoursubordinate, it renders an emotional bondagebetween you and your man.
    42. 42. He is somebody to you• Create occasions to introduce your men toyour visitors.• This is the opportunity to speak good ofyour men to a third person.• This strategy reinforces the feeling that theyare somebody to you, as you are to them.
    43. 43. Respect one`s opinions andconvictionsThe right to express one`s opinions andconvictions is to be respected howeversmall one may be.Thousands of men wasted away their daysin prison for the sake of their opinions.
    44. 44. Social Calls - Cementing EffectVisit the families of your men occasionally,it stenghthen your relations.You do not have to wait for a ceremony totake place in that family and a formalinvitation thereof. This instills a sense ofconfidence.
    45. 45. Recognize One`s Feelings AndSentiments• Your men know well that you are theirsuperior.• It is your inferiority complex that makesyou throw your weight around.• Do not pretend that you are the almighty,because you are not.
    46. 46. Admit your mistake• To err is human. To accept error isgreatness.• Unfortunately, it is the tendency of everyhuman being to prove that his point is right.• When you go wrong,admit to your peopleyour errors without any reservation. It is themark of a great man.
    47. 47. Courtesy Pays• President Lincoln was strolling with hisfriend when an old Negro passing by bowedand tipped his hat. Lincoln stopped andreturned the gesture more gracefully.• On his friends asking the reason behindLincoln`s behaviour, the presidentexplained that he does not allow anyoneelse to be more courteous than himself.
    48. 48. Ability Of EffectiveCommunication• Communication besides being simple has tobe absolutely clear.• Communication is a flash of lightening andoften even more illuminating.• It enables you to see others and makeyourself seen and known.
    49. 49. Listen To Others• Some people are adamant in not listening toothers. They want only to talk. Theyprevent others from saying anything.• You should listen no matter how much youdisagree with other`s points.• Everybody likes a good listener.• Listening is not only a courtesy but alsotactful behaviour.
    50. 50. It is a joy to be heard• One of the joys of life is to know that youhave been heard and understood correctlyand to know that someone cares.• There is a satisfaction to see the enjoymenton the part of speaker when he knows thathe has been understood correctly.
    51. 51. Listen with your eyes• Difficulties do not vanish when you ignorethem.If we neglect a situation, it mightreach a boiling point and explode.• Impart a sense of care and protection toyour people by attending to theirdifficulties.• Listen to your people. Listen with your ears.• Listen with your eyes.• Listen with your heart.
    52. 52. To Work Effectively AsA Team MemberKeep Trying• Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream. Eachtime they tried to come up, they slipped.The lazy one drowned.• The enterprising one kept trying with hisfront legs while the back legs were kickingand propelling.• Butter got formed due to the continuouskicking and that helped him to leap tosafety.
    53. 53. Elevate the general morale ofyour peopleBuild up loyalty and sincerity of yourpeople by being up front line, especiallywhen your men are in real trouble.
    54. 54. Identify hidden talents• Your role as a leader is to identify hiddentalents and• To develop the strength of individualsworking with you.• The weakest among the lot needs your helpand guidance.• They should not be treated as botherations.
    55. 55. Ability Of Self Awareness AndSocial AwarenessIf you attempt to please each and everybody,you will go madAn old man had two wives, one young andthe other old. He agreed with his youngwife to pluck all his white hair and pleasedhis old wife by plucking all the black ones.So between the young and the old, he becamebald.
    56. 56. Respect social sentiments• People do not like sudden changes.• We can not abruptly change social customs,traditions and values.• We should conform to them and respect thesocial sentiments of our people.
    57. 57. Get feedback• It is vital to take a feedback to find out whatyour men think about you.• You may need some corrections.• Everybody needs periodical self-analysis.• Conduct self - reviews systematically sothat you can remain an ideal and pragmaticleader.
    58. 58. Saint Kabir Dasis widely acknowledged as oneof the great personality of the Bhaktimovement in North India. He was born in Year 1398 A.D.(71 yearsbefore Guru Nanak).He lived upto age of120 years(1518). But Hazari Prased Dwivedi, a BritishScholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proventhat 1448 is probably the correct date ofSaint Kabirs demise.
    59. 59. He is one of the medieval Indian saints ofBhakti and Sufi movement whose compositionsfigure in Sikh Scripture “the Guru GranthSahib” From among all of them, Kabirs contributionis the largest, 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237slokas.
    60. 60. कबीर के दोहे
    61. 61. • ितनका कबहँ ना िनदये, जो पाँव तले होय।कबहँ उड़ आँखो पड़े, पीर घानेरी होय ॥• बडा हआ तो कया हआ जैसे पेड़ खजूर।पंथी को छाया नही फल लागे अित दूर ॥
    62. 62. • साधू गाँठ न बाँधई उदर समाता लेय।आगे पाछे हरी खड़े जब माँगे तब देय॥• साई इतना दीिजये, जा मे कुटुम समाय ।मै भी भूखा न रहँ, साधु ना भूखा जाय ॥
    63. 63. • माटी कहे कुमहार से, तु कया रौदे मोय ।एक िदन ऐसा आएगा, मै रौदूगी तोय ॥• रात गंवाई सोय के, िदवस गंवाया खाय ।हीरा जनम अमोल था, कोड़ी बदले जाय ॥• उठा बगुला पेम का ितनका चढ़ा अकास।ितनका ितनके से िमला ितन का ितन के पास॥
    64. 64. • जो तोको काँटा बुवै तािह बोव तू फू ल।तोिह फू ल को फू ल है वाको हैितरसुल॥
    65. 65. Proven Ways to Get AlongBetter With EVERYONE
    66. 66. Before you say anything to anyone, ask yourself 3things:1. Is it true?2. Is it kind?3. Is it necessary?
    67. 67. Make promises sparingly and keep themfaithfully
    68. 68. Never miss the opportunity to compliment orsay something encouraging to someone
    69. 69. Refuse to talk negatively about others; dontgossip and dont listen to gossip
    70. 70. Have a forgiving Attitude. Believe that mostpeople are doing the best they can
    71. 71. Keep an open mind; discuss, but dont argue.(It is possible to disagree without beingdisagreeable.)
    72. 72. If someone criticizes you, see if there is any TRUTH towhat he is saying; if so, make changes. If there is notruth to the criticism, ignore it and live so that no onewill believe the negative remark
    73. 73. Cultivate your sense of humor; laughter is the shortestdistance between two people.Do not seek so much to be consoled, as to console; donot seek so much to be understood, as to understand;do not seek so much to be loved as to love
    74. 74. I pray that all of us will keep these points in mind . Withthese principles, we can continuously improve ourpersonal relationships with others wherever we are.
    75. 75. Types• Kinship Relationships- theseincludes family relationships.(Father and Mother )• Formalized intimaterelationships- these are longterm relationships through lawand public ceremony.(Marriage)• Non-formalized intimaterelationships- (boyfriend,girlfriend)
    76. 76. • Friendship- mutual love, trust,respect and unconditionalacceptance. (internetfriendships, pen pals)• Partners or coworkers in aprofession- is an occupationthat requires extensive trainingand the study of specializedknowledge.• Acquaintanceship- simplybeing introduced to someone orknowing who they are byinteraction.
    77. 77. Factors affecting InterpersonalRelationships• Common Grounds• IntimateRelationship• PopularPsychology• Friendship• AbusiveRelationships
    78. 78. • Common Grounds- is a technique forfacilitating interpersonal relationships.The participants must search for signals ofrecognitions which are often subtle andcause for misunderstandings.
    79. 79. Intimate relationship- An interpersonalrelationship with a great deal of physicalor emotional intimacy.It is usually characterized by romantic orlove and attachment.
    80. 80. Popular psychology- popularly known aspop psychology, refers to concepts andtheories about human mental life andbehavior that come from outside thetechnical study of psychology.
    81. 81. Friendship- Arelationship whichinvolves mutualknowledge, esteem andaffection.
    82. 82. Abusive Relationship -interpersonalrelationship characterized by the use or threatof physical or psychological abuse.Abusive relationships are often characterizedby jealousy, emotional withholding, lack ofintimacy, infidelity, sexual coercion, verbalabuse, broken promises, physical violence,control games and power plays.Abusive relationships are often progressive.That is, the abuse gets worse over time.
    83. 83. Social relation- can refer to amultitude of social interactions,regulated by social norms, between twoor more people, with each having asocial position and performing a socialrole.
    84. 84. EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONALRELATIONSHIPS• Develop Mutual Respect• Practice Empathy• Be warm and Genuine• Practice Self-Disclosure• Develop Confrontation Skills• Patience
    85. 85. ConflictManagementMax & Max
    86. 86. • Meet Max– Max is a dog of the finest breeding.– He was rigorously trained to retrieve game atthe slightest nod from his owner.– He is slightly motivate to serve his master’sneeds.• Meet Max– Max is talented, amiable, full of energy, andwell educated.– He is anxious to enter the arena of customerservice and make a contribution, and he’sbursting with innovative ideas.
    87. 87. • Meet Mr. Harold– Mr. Harold is an average manager ofcustomer service for New World Imports.– Service is the byword in his department.– He has some untapped ideas about customerservice.• Max and Max– Max and Max both have new opportunities –a chance to learn, a chance to show theirstuff.– Each comes to learn about limits, though:stay on the lawn; get your own job figuredout first, then you can start worrying aboutmine.
    88. 88. • Conflict is a necessary andhealthy part of the life of allorganizations.• Conflict on the job usuallyrepresents the normalcompetitive urge present inmost individuals.• Conflict on the job is alwaysthe result of personalityclashes.About Conflict
    89. 89. • Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job.• One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that itsometimes produces useful change.• In resolving a conflict, a team leader mustdetermine whether the cause is :a) Personality clashb) The way the work is structured.Contd…
    90. 90. When there is potential for one party to negatively impactanother party:Supervisor – subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of InterestWhat is Conflict
    91. 91. • Communication problems– Ambiguity– Mixed messages• Verbalize one thing, yet your bodylanguage says another– Structural variables– Goal incompatibility• Sales department versus creditdepartment– Dependence issues• One group (accounting) dependentupon another (MIS)Why Conflict
    92. 92. • Personal factors– Personality clashes• Type A versus Type B– Value systems• National culture dimensions• Different emphasis on quality or quantity• Different perception and area of interest.Contd…
    93. 93. Causes of Conflict:• Personality differences• Value differences• Differences in Perspectives• Differences in Goals• Differences in DepartmentalAllegiance• Ambiguities about responsibilities
    94. 94. • Poor communication• Seeking power• Dissatisfaction with management style• Weak leadership• Lack of openness• Change in leadershipBeginning of Conflict
    95. 95. Body languageDisagreements, regardless of issueWithholding bad newsSurprisesStrong public statementsAiring disagreements through mediaConflicts in value systemConflict Indicators
    96. 96.  Desire for power Increasing lack of respect Open disagreement Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues Lack of clear goals No discussion of progress, failure relative to goals, failure toevaluate the superintendent fairly, thoroughly or at all.Contd…
    97. 97. Constructive Conflict• Results in clarification of important problemsand issues.• Results in solutions to problems.• Causes authentic communication.• Helps release emotion, anxiety, and stress.• Builds cooperation among people throughlearning more about each other.• Helps individuals develop understanding andskills.• Helps people "be real", for example, itmotivates them to participate.• Helps people learn how to recognize andbenefit from their differences.
    98. 98. Destructive ConflictTakes attention away from other importantactivities.Undermines morale or self-concept.Polarizes people and groups, reducingcooperation.Increases or sharpens difference.Leads to irresponsible and harmful behavior,such as fighting, name-calling.Hampers productivity.Lowers morale.Causes more and continued conflicts.Causes inappropriate behaviors.
    99. 99. Types of Conflict
    100. 100. The Conflict Process
    101. 101. Managing conflict
    102. 102. Managing conflict• Encouraging Functional Conflicts– Encourage dissent by asking tough questions.– Bring people with different points of view.– Designate someone to be a devil’s advocate.– Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives.
    103. 103. Functional Conflict• Functional Conflict– Conflict that supports the goals of the group andimproves performance• “When two people in business always agree, one of them isunnecessary”• “You put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to themduke it out, and the best idea will pop out”– Task conflict• Conflicts over content and goals of work• Low to moderate level is functional• Stimulates discussion and ideas
    104. 104. Dysfunctional Conflict• Conflict that hinders performance• Relationship conflict– Stems from interpersonal relationships– Personality clashes, value differences• Results in hostility & friction– Decreases mutual understanding and makes taskcompletion more difficult
    105. 105. Managing Dysfunctionalconflict• Managing Dysfunctional Conflicts– Mediates the conflicts– Arbitrate the conflicts.– Control the conflicts.– Accept the conflicts.– Eliminate the conflicts.
    106. 106. Collaborating: win/winCompromising: winsome/lose someAccommodating:lose/winCompeting: win/loseAvoiding: no winners/nolosers5 Conflict ManagementStrategies
    107. 107. Resolving Team Conflict• Conflict is an emotional disturbance ordisagreement
    108. 108. Six Steps to Manage Team Conflict Clarify and identify the cause ofconflict Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyonecan accept Acknowledge solution: win-winsolution
    109. 109. Conflict Resolution• Super-ordinate goals– Overarching, shared goal that cannot be attained withoutcooperation of each of the conflicting parties• Altering structural variables– Changing the organizational chart• Reporting relationships– Create joint-task forces• Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraintsand needs• Altering individuals– Human relations training– Transfers
    110. 110. Conflict Resolution• Mediation– Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-offs, suggests alternatives, & serves as a sounding board for theconflicting parties• Growing area of legal practices• 60% of cases in mediation reach settlement• Arbitration– Neutral third party can dictate an agreement• Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial• Always results in settlement
    111. 111. Conflict Resolution Techniques• Problem solving• Super co-ordinate goals• Expansion of resources• Avoidance• Smoothing• Compromise• Authoritative command• Altering the human variable• Altering the structural variables
    112. 112. Meditation• Close your eyes – Relax• Wear a Gentle Smile• Go in deeper Relaxation• Deep Breathe• Gently roll up your Eyeballs• Surrender to Subconscious Mind• Handover the problem to subconscious mind(Now go to sleep – Expectantly)• Visualize Results / Express Gratefulness next morning(Before opening your eyes)
    113. 113. to delegate,all you needisfaithin the otherperson ...Andfaithmovesmountains !Delegation
    114. 114. If We Handle Life SituationsWell, the Conflict can bebetter Managed
    115. 115. Worry As Cause Of ConflictWorry As Cause Of ConflictWorryingforsituationswhich neverhappens. 40%Worryingforsituationswhich hashappened in thepast 30%Worryingforsituationswhich concerns others. 12%Worryingforillness which mayberealorimaginary 10%Situations which needs attention,Competenceand Opportunitytoprove.weshould not beworried but should beconcerned.8%Onecan avoid conflict ifweunderstand theabovelifesituations.
    116. 116. We listen &Find SolutionsEGOSELFRemain at Base LevelAccept Authority of OtherEGOOTHER PERSONEgo Cause Of Conflict-Ego Cause Of Conflict- MindMindBlockageBlockageWe hear & don’t Listen
    117. 117. TENSIONCONFLICTFRUSTRATIONHELPLESSNESSINSULTANGERDEPRESSIONSTRESSConflict A Silent KillerConflict A Silent KillerAGRESSION
    118. 118. Attitude is EverythingChange Your Attitude...And You Change Your Life!
    119. 119. Attitude is the way you communicate your mood toothers. It is the way you look at things.Your feelings, desires, fears, convictions, state ofreadiness, external environment, all combines toform Your Attitude.85% of interpersonal problems are caused due tonegative or biased attitude.ATTITUDE
    120. 120. ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THANATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THANFACTSFACTSAttitude is more important than the past,education, money, circumstances, failures, successes, whatother people think or say or do.It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It willmake or break a company - a home.We cannot change our past - we cannot change the fact…We cannot change the inevitable. ..The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have,and that is…our AttitudeLife is 10% of what happens to us and 90% of how we react to it…
    121. 121. A SMALLA SMALLTRUTH TOTRUTH TOMAKE LIFEMAKE LIFE100%100%
    122. 122. Hard workHard workH+A+R+D+W+O+R+K8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =98%KnowledgeKnowledgeK+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
    123. 123. LoveLoveL+O+V+E12+15+22+5 = 54%LuckLuckL+U+C+K12+21+3+11 = 47%(dont most of us think this is the most important???)
    124. 124. Then what makes 100%?Is it MoneyMoney? ... NO!!!!![M+O+N+E+Y =13+15+14+5+25 = 72%]LeadershipLeadership? ... NO!!!![L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P =12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 =
    125. 125. ATTITUDEATTITUDEA+T+T+I+T+U+D+EA+T+T+I+T+U+D+E1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%It isIt is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towardstowardsLife and Work that makes OURLife and Work that makes OURLife 100%Life 100%
    126. 126. Every problem has a solution,Every problem has a solution,only if we perhaps change ouronly if we perhaps change ourattitude.attitude.To go to the top,To go to the top,to thatto that 100%,100%,what we really need to gowhat we really need to gofurther...a bit more...further...a bit more...
    127. 127. Positive A++itudeWhen you think positively about yourself, you workharder at what you want to do - and give up lesseasily.You make a better impression on others, whichencourages them to help you.When you think more positively about yourcolleagues, employees, spouse and children, youbuild stronger and more productive relationships -leading to greater success at work and at home.
    128. 128. Positive A++itudeLife is "now"Time to do what you want to do is nowDesire to achieveCommitment to achieveCapacity to get along with othersClarity in target/goals
    129. 129. Positive Attitude – Key to Success• No Matter what Attitude we adopt, the flow of lifecontinues but in the moment we do have choiceabout the direction in which we lean.•When we resist the flow, life becomes moredifficult.“ Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The DirectionIn Which Life Is Flowing”
    130. 130. Building Positive Attitude•Look for goodness in people•Build a positive Self Esteem•Avoid Negative Influences•Work on Continuous SelfDevelopment
    131. 131. Dynamics of Positive AttitudeAttitudeActivatorPersonalityAttitude InActionResult• Anticipation• Expectation• Hope• Confidence• Faith• Patience• Humility• Love• Belief• Enthusiastic• Courageous• Optimistic• Cheerful• Sincere• Warm• Relaxed• Success• Recognition• Happiness• Growth• Admiration• Friends
    132. 132. Dynamics of Negative AttitudeAttitudeActivatorPersonalityAttitude InActionResult• Fear• Doubt• Envy• Anger• Conceit• Self Pity• Suspicion• Indecision• Criticism• Inconsiderate• Pessimistic• Weak• Cold• Sour• Irritable• Worry• Tension• Frustration• Failure• Sickness• No Friends
    133. 133. YourAttitudeDeterminesYourAltitude
    134. 134. “ A young lady waswaiting her flight inthe boarding room of abig airport.
    135. 135. As shewould waitfor manyhours, shedecided tobuy a bookto spend hertime. Shealso boughta packet ofcookies.
    136. 136. She sat down ona airmchair, inthe VIP room ofthe airport, torest and read inpeace.
    137. 137. Beside theairmchair therewas the packetof cookies, aman sat down,opened hismagazine andstarted reading.
    138. 138. When she cought thefirst cookie, the mancought one also.She felt herselfinfuriate but didn’tsay anything. She justthought:“What a nerve! If Iwas in the mood Iwould punch his eyenot to forget thisdaring!”
    139. 139. To each cokkieshe cought, theman cought oneeither.That wasletting herinfuriated butshe couldn’t
    140. 140. When remainedonly one cookie,she thought:“ah... What thisabused man willdo now?”Then, the man,divided the lastcookie in themiddle, givingher the half.
    141. 141. Ah! That was too much!She was too much angry!Then, she caught her book, caught her things andheaded to the boarding place.
    142. 142. When she satdown in anarmchair, insidethe plane, shelooked into herpurse to catch hereyeglasses, and, toher surprise, herpacket of cookieswas there,untouched, closed!
    143. 143. She felt somuchashamed!!She realizedthat shewas thewrong one...She hadforgottenthat hercookies werekept intoher purse.
    144. 144. The man dividedhis cookies withher, wihtoutfeeling infuriated,nervous or mad...
    145. 145. ...while she wasbeen very mad,thinking that hewas dividing hercookies withhim.but there was nomore time toexplain herself...Nor toapologizes!”
    146. 146. There are 4 things that u can’t recover...
    147. 147. The stone......after shot!
    148. 148. The word... ......after pronounced!
    149. 149. The occasion...... after lost!
    150. 150. The time......after gone!
    151. 151. Forgiveness is your BiggestAsset
    152. 152. Unplug your negative thoughtsOne of the keys toovercomingdepression is learninghow to control yourlow moods andreversing them.
    153. 153. Express it appropriatelyEven though it may feel good to snap at theobject of your fury, do not. Speak up. Say‘Let us talk about our difference of opinion’or ‘Something is really bothering me’This is called ‘Catharsis’
    154. 154. Do Not Accuse• You can explain what makes youangry without attacking the otherperson.• Say. “I feel angry when ….»Not “You make me angry.”.
    155. 155. Arrest Anxiety• Another emotion, one usually generated byinner rather than outer demons is anxiety.• You may be experiencing performanceanxiety.• Others include social anxiety (shyness),information anxiety (the fear of lookingdumb), and panic, which have come ofanxiety’s most intense symptoms.
    156. 156. Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off theexcess adrenaline thatfuels your feelings ofanxiety.Exercise releasesendorphins, a potentgroup of naturalchemicals in the bodythat may block anxietyand depression.
    157. 157. • Meet Max– Max is a dog of the finest breeding.– He was rigorously trained to retrieve gameat the slightest nod from his owner.– He is slightly motivate to serve his master’sneeds.• Meet Max– Max is talented, amiable, full of energy, andwell educated.– He is anxious to enter the arena of customerservice and make a contribution, and he’sbursting with innovative ideas.
    158. 158. • Meet Mr. Harold– Mr. Harold is an average manager of customerservice for New World Imports.– Service is the byword in his department.– He has some untapped ideas about customer service.• Max and Max– Max and Max both have new opportunities – achance to learn, a chance to show their stuff.– Each comes to learn about limits, though:– stay on the lawn;– get your own job figured out first, then you canstart worrying about mine.
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