Importance of EmotionalIntelligence• The beginning of ‘everything’ happening inbusiness and core of all actions is humanactivity• People need people. Human experienceinvolves interaction or relationship with otherpeople.• Nothing of and consequence happens untilhuman beings want to act• Individuals are hired/selected based on theirtechnical skills but their success on the job isbased on Human Relation Skills
• Emotional Intelligence motivates you topursue your unique potential and purpose.• Emotions are inherently neither positive nornegative rather emotions are a source ofhuman energy, authenticity and drive.• Emotions keep you honest, with yourself,shapes trusting relationships, provide aninner compass for your life.
• Teenager – One of the teenager pouring paint overschool desks/ computers/printers.• Teenagers killing another school friend.• Increase in the number of violent crime amongteenagers.• Teenagers murder cases have quadripled from1965 to 1990.• Suicide rate for children increased – tripled during1968-1985.TEENAGERS
• Studies shown children rejected at the early ageand suffered during the childhood time are 4time more likely to commit violent crime byage 18.• Sexual abuse of children on rise.TEENAGERS
STRESS AND COLD VIRUS• Little Stress• Most Stress• Couple who are unsetwith their maritalfights.• 27% came down withcold after exposed tovirus.• 47% get the cold andevidence that stressweakens the immuneSystem.• They came down with coldor upper respiratoryinfection.
Year Marriages ended in Divorce1890 10%1920 18%1950 30%1970 50%1990 67%Divorce Rate in AmericaThree in ten of newly wedscan cound staying marriedPresent TrendINTIMATE ENEMIESThe Current trends in marriage & divorce make emotionalintelligence more crucial than ever.
EMOTIONAL ECOLOGY OFMARRIED PEOPLEFINDING•For two Decades the Ups & Downs of 200couples was tracked by Goff man.•In healthy marriage husband and wife feelfree to voice a complaint.•But too often in heat of anger complaintsare expressed in destructive fashion asattack on spouse’s character.•It is important to understand the differenceof complaints and personal criticisms.
• In complaint spouse state what is upsetting her andcriticize the action not the partner.• But in personal criticism spouse launches the attackon the partner – you are selfish, uncaring.• The person at the receiving end feel – ashamed,disliked and blamed.• Habitual criticism, contempt or disgust are dangersigns the spouse counterattack in return.• Pessimistic spouse are prone to emotional hijackings;- get angry hurt or otherwise distressed.
• Surging tide of aggression among the people.• Freeway mishaps ending in shooting.• Disgruntled ex-employees massacring formerfellow workers.• Violence in the name of religion• Political murders on the rise.• Rising rates of depression worldwide.• Heroin & cocaine usage multiplied manifolds.EMOTIONS
• Family life is our first school for emotional learning;• How we feel about ourselves and how others willreact to our feelings.• Some parents are gifted emotional teachers, otheratrocious.When girls play together• Do so in small, intimate groups.• Emphasis in minimizing hostility and maximizing,co-operation.• When someone get injured during the play – girlsstop the play and help the girl who is crying.FAMILY CRUCIBLE
Boys Games• Play in larger groups• Emphasis on competition• When games get disrupted due to someone getting injured– the injured get out of the way and stop crying and gamego on.• The boys take pride – in being alone- tough minded- independence &- Autonomy• Boys are more threatened by anything that challengetheir independence.FAMILY CRUCIBLE
• Unable to please either father or mother in tensionand blinks as her eyes fill with tears.• Parents start bickering, ignoring. Daughter came toconclusion that neither her parents, nor anyone elsecares about her feelings.• Parents teaching their daughter – how to play videogame – to the right, to the right – stop stop stop.Mother – you’re not lined up.Daughter – Her eyes rolling upward in frustrationyells over the advice, stop! Stop!FAMILY CRUCIBLE
Emotional malaise is a universal price of modern life.Withdrawal or social problemsPreferring to be aloneSulking a lotFeeling unhappyAnxious and depressedBeing lonely, fears and worries, feeling unloved, feeling nervous,sad or depressed.Attention or thinking problemsunable to pay attention, sit still day dreaming, action withoutthinking, being nervous to concentrate.Emotional Malaise
Example:Parents – Saving a cherished child.Mothers sacrificing herself for the child.Career girls murder Richard a seasoned burglar, habit of heroinRegret every day on that moment, some twenty five year later.He said, “I just went bananas. My head just exploded.To this day he regrets those few minutes to rage unleashed.Emotional Malaise
Latika – just playing a joke with her father, jumpedand yelled “Boo” father got scared and shot at herown daughter and killed her.Parents gone to a party and came late night, thedaughter who was staying in hotel can & wantedgive a surprise. In the process got killed.Anita while describing here achievement on becomingVP (Marketing) of a Multinational weeping and assertive- My husband left me for another woman but I amwoman of substance now.Emotional Malaise
Watch Out!!!!• Persistent disturbances in mood - depression,anxiety etc.• Alteration in vegetative functions - sleep patterns,appetite.• Changes in behaviour - irritability, restlessness,decreased initiative, reduced desire.• Increasing dependence on alcohol, tobacco,stimulants or any others drugs of abuse.• Disturbance in cognition - concentration, memory,attention-span.• Persistent physical complaints despite investigationsrevealing no abnormality or even after suggestedmedical treatment has been completed.
Emotional intelligence is theability to sense, understand andeffectively apply the power andacumen of emotions.Emotional Intelligence
What is an Emotion ?• Any agitation or disturbance of mind• Refers to a feeling and distinctive thoughts,psychological and biological states.• There are hundreds of emotions, along withtheir blends and variations.
Executive EQ• With high IQ you get hired; with a high IQyou get promoted, with high IQ you canhandle daily work routine. With high EQ,you can thrive during times of change.• With high IQ, you can be an efficientprofessional manager. With high EQ youbecome a Great Leader.
It is with the heart thatone sees rightly. What isessential is invisible tothe eye.
Emotional Intelligence evolves overa series of transactions andinstances between two or moreindividuals.
The concept of EmotionalIntelligence comes fromunderstanding others’ feelings andattitude, thereby developing morerespect for people and acceptingthem as individuals
• Emotions are important determinants becausethey affect personal and social adjustments.• Emotions colour the individual’s perception ofhimself, environment and affects his behaviour.• An individual who feel frustrated will be morehostile and impulsive.• Emotions colour a person’s interest, attitude,Emotional Determinants
Emotional Intelligence &Intelligence Quotient• IQ offers little to explain the different destines of peoplewith roughly equal promises, schooling, andopportunity.• 95 Harvard students from classes of 1940s werefollowed into middle age. It was found that the menwith the highest test scores in college were notparticularly successful compared to their lower-scoringpeers in terms of salary, productivity, or status in theirown field. They also did not have the greatest lifesatisfaction nor high levels of happiness withfriendships, family and romantic relationship.
Impulses to ActionTendency to act is implicit in every emotion. Eachemotion prepares the body for different kind ofresponses:Anger - Blood flows to the hands, making it easierto grasp a weapon or strike at a foe. Heartbeatincreases. Rush of hormones such as adrenalinegenerates a pulse of energy.Fear - Blood goes to large skeletal muscles such aslegs, making it easier to flee - and making the faceblanch as blood is shunted away from it.
• Happiness - An increased activity in a braincentre that inhibits negative feelings and fostersan an increase in available energy.• Love - Tender feeling and sexual satisfaction. Itis opposite to flight-or-fight mobilisation sharedby anger and fear.• Surprise - It allows taking of larger visual sweepand also permits more light to strike the retina.Impulses to Actioncontd...
• Disgust - The facial expression of disgust -the upper lip curled to the side and nosewrinkles slightly.• Sadness - To help adjust to a significantloss, such as death of someone close,sadness brings drop in energy andenthusiasm for life’s activities. It may leadto depression, slows the body metabolism.Impulses to Actioncontd...
If you cannot say it, write it.If you are so upset that you might not beable to speak coherently, write a letter tothe person who has angered you. You maywisely decide not to mail the letter, but youwill have emptied your anger.
Anger - The Enemy WithinYou cannot experience sweetnessin bitter gourd;Similarly, you cannot experiencehappiness in a fit of anger.
As water remaining in a fridgebecomes ice, similarly,anger occupying the mindturns into animosity.
Milk becomes sour, when remains for days.Similarly anger results into disasterWhen accumulated for long time in mind.
Thinking about what had happened in the past,Will give rise to new animosities.If you wish to stay away from animosity,then leave aside old scores and cometo a stage of settlement.
It is the memory which constantly disturbsour psyche and nourishes ill feelingstowards an individual and ultimatelydigs the grave for our happiness.
• Observe a small child getting angry. He mightkick his mother, but his anger does not getconverted into animosity. Within a matter ofminutes, he can be seen in the lap of his mother.• The reason behind this is that the ego has notyet developed.• A child can, therefore, exhibit anger on oneperson and also start playing with him, the verynext moment.
You must be knowing that a hockey stickhas only a head, not a brain. Whosoeverholds it, does not think of anything elseexcept tackling or attacking the ball. Theresult :» Constant Anxiety» Constant Aggression» Constant Hurry» Constant Impatience
•Look at your face whenangry – face becomesfearsome that youyourself will fear to seeoneself.
Love has never done any wrongAnd has never been nastyWhereas anger has never done any goodAnd has never benefited anyone.
If you feel that the one who attacksanother is the powerful one,you are mistaken.It is actually the one who is scared,who attacks others as his defense.
ABCs of Emotional IntelligenceSelf Awareness - in the sense of recognisingfeelings, seeing the links between thoughts,feelings, and reactions and seeing theconsequences of alternate choices.Self awareness also takes the form ofrecognising one’s strengths and weaknessesand seeing oneself in a positive but realisticlight.
All emotions flow from two basic emotions;Fear and Love.One group of emotions makes us feelrestless and uneasy, the other brings aboutbalance and harmony.We label the two as positive and negative. Italso encourages us to accept the happy onesand reject the others.
We grow up with the understanding that whileit is correct to feel happy, joyful, andgrateful, it is in bad form to feel guilty,irritated, stressed or sad.These are emotions which make us weak andwe could be pushed into being a loser,unable to cope.
Not only do we get into the habit of beingunable to acknowledge what we are feelingworse, gradually, we begin to suppressthose feelings as they arise.
Where do we hide our feelings?We repress them within - in various parts ofour body.• Anger hides in our liver- ruining ourdigestion and creating acidity;• Responsibility sits heavy on our shoulders;• inability to let go of the past, of hurt andresentment caused constipation;• Financial insecurity might cause usdiscomfort in our lower back.
• Once, we begin emotional management, wewill begin to feel empowered.• We will live in the present moment free ofpast burdens and future worries.• We will learn the meaning of emotionalfreedom.
Do Not Accuse• You can explain what makes you angrywithout attacking the other person.• Say. “I feel angry when …. Not “You makeme angry….”.• Using this approach makes you morepowerful.
Arrest AnxietyAnother emotion, one usually generated byinner rather than outer demons is anxiety.You may be experiencing performanceanxiety. Others include social anxiety(shyness), information anxiety (the fear oflooking dumb), and panic, which havecome of anxiety’s most intense symptoms.
Learn to manage our emotions• All negative thoughts are caused by adisruption in the body`s energy system.• With awareness, we can lift ourselves out ofirritation, restlessness, anxiety, fear andmore.• We can equally let go of long term hurtsand bitterness.
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off theexcess adrenaline thatfuels your feelings ofanxiety.Exercise releasesendorphins, a potentgroup of naturalchemicals in the bodythat may block anxietyand depression.
Listen to the wind chimeThere is nothingquite like thesound of wind onchimes when stressgets to a high pitch
Unplug your negative thoughtsOne of the keys toovercomingdepression is learninghow to control yourlow moods andreversing them.
POSITIVE ATTITUDE• Life is “now”• Time to do what you want to do is now• Desire to achieve• Commitment to achieve• Capacity to get along with others• Clarity in target/goals.
POSITIVE ATTITUDEKey to SuccessNo Matter What Attitude We Adopt. The Flow ofLife Continues But in the Moment We Do HaveChoice About the Direction In Which We Lean.When We Resist the Flow, Life Becomes MoreDifficult.“Positive Attitude Means Leaning in the Directionin Which Life Is Flowing”
POSITIVE ATTITUDEPOSITIVE ATTITUDE• You are what your deep, driving desire is:As your desire is, so is your will.As your will is, so is your deed.As your deed is, so is your destiny.• The good news is ----The bad news can be turned into goodnews ……… when you change yourattitude.
POSITIVE ATTITUDEPOSITIVE ATTITUDE• Importance of positive attitude:- Count your garden by the flower- Never by the leaves that fall- Count your days by golden hours- Don’t remember clouds at all- Count your night by stars, notshadows- Count your life with smiles, nottears
DYNAMICS OF NEGATIVE ATTITUDEAttitudeActivatorPersonalityAttitude In ActionResult•Fear•Doubt•Envy•Anger•Conceit•Self Pity•Suspicion•Indecision•Criticism•Inconsiderate•Pessimistic•Weak•Cold•Sour•Irritable•Worry•Tension•Frustration•Failure•Sickness•No Friends
IF YOU WANT AND IF YOUCAN’T - YOU HAVEN’T TRIED.
ATTITUDEIs a little thing that makes a BIGdifference.
ATTITUDEKeep your face to the sunshine andyou cannot see the shadows.
ATTITUDEAttack every problem with enthusiasm…as if your survival depended upon it.
ATTITUDEAttitudes are contagious…Is yours worth catching ?
CHANGEIf you are not riding the waveof change… you will find yourselfbeneath it.CHANGEA bend in the road is not the endof the road… unless youfail to make the turn.
SUCCESSSuccess is a journey, not a destination.
SUCCESSSome people dream of success ….While others wake up and work hard at it.
CHALLENGESAnyone can hold thehelm when the sea is calm
RISKYou cannot discover new oceans unlessyou have the courage to lose sight of the shore.
OPPORTUNITYThere is an island of opportunity inthe middle of every difficulty.
MOMENTUMA little push in the right directioncan make a big difference.