Getting All Keyed Up! Effective communication with students
It’s all about    Communication!   <ul><li>We’re constantly communicating in one way or another – even if we don’t say a w...
<ul><li>Commands and directs the lives of children </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Drill Sergeant </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>“ I...
Brain Drain   <ul><li>The things we remember most are the things we ________. </li></ul><ul><li>Most of our immediate resp...
<ul><li>… feed misbehavior  </li></ul>Anger and Frustration … The Misbehavior Cycle
The  Misbehavior  Cycle Misbehavior Adult Shows Anger/Frustration Negative Self-Concept   Perception of Authority Figures
<ul><li>Rule #1:  Set firm limits in loving ways without  anger, lecture or threats </li></ul><ul><li>Rule #2:  Hand the p...
What’s the Key?   Empathy What’s another Key?   Empathy What’s another Key?   Empathy
<ul><li>Do I say what I mean and mean what I say? </li></ul><ul><li>Enforceable statements tell kids what WE will do or al...
<ul><li>Control is a basic human  </li></ul><ul><li>emotional need </li></ul><ul><li>Give lots of little choices about  is...
Practice Practice Practice
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Psy owens

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Psy owens

  1. 1. Getting All Keyed Up! Effective communication with students
  2. 2. It’s all about Communication! <ul><li>We’re constantly communicating in one way or another – even if we don’t say a word </li></ul><ul><li>65-90% of a message is communicated nonverbally </li></ul><ul><li>What kind of communicator am I ? </li></ul>
  3. 3. <ul><li>Commands and directs the lives of children </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Drill Sergeant </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>“ I know what’s best for you and I’ll make sure you decide to do what I know is best.” </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><li>Hovers over children and rescues them from the hostile world in which they live </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Helicopter </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>“ I’ll make the decision for you because I’m afraid you might get hurt.” </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><li>Provides guidance and consultant services for children </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Consultant </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>“ I’ll be glad to help you explore alternatives, but I know you’re able to make good decisions.” </li></ul></ul></ul>
  4. 4. Brain Drain <ul><li>The things we remember most are the things we ________. </li></ul><ul><li>Most of our immediate responses are “thoughtless.” </li></ul><ul><ul><li>When it comes to the way we relate to students… </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Is that OK? </li></ul></ul>
  5. 5. <ul><li>… feed misbehavior </li></ul>Anger and Frustration … The Misbehavior Cycle
  6. 6. The Misbehavior Cycle Misbehavior Adult Shows Anger/Frustration Negative Self-Concept Perception of Authority Figures
  7. 7. <ul><li>Rule #1: Set firm limits in loving ways without anger, lecture or threats </li></ul><ul><li>Rule #2: Hand the problem back to the student </li></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Hold the student accountable to solve problems in a way that doesn’t make a problem for others </li></ul></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Offer choices with limits </li></ul></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Use enforceable statements </li></ul></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Provide delayed/extended consequences </li></ul></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Lock in empathy before consequences are delivered </li></ul></ul></ul></ul>Simple Rules
  8. 8. What’s the Key? Empathy What’s another Key? Empathy What’s another Key? Empathy
  9. 9. <ul><li>Do I say what I mean and mean what I say? </li></ul><ul><li>Enforceable statements tell kids what WE will do or allow…. </li></ul><ul><li>rather than trying to tell THEM what to do. </li></ul>Enforceable Statements
  10. 10. <ul><li>Control is a basic human </li></ul><ul><li>emotional need </li></ul><ul><li>Give lots of little choices about issues that don’t cause a problem for you or anyone else </li></ul>Turn Your Word into Gold
  11. 11. Practice Practice Practice

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