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X-Ray Listening: Decoding the language of the unconscious
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X-Ray Listening: Decoding the language of the unconscious

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http://www.xraylisteni

http://www.xraylisteni

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  • Transcript

    • 1. X-Ray ListeningDecoding the native language of the unconscious mind with Judy Rees of www.xraylistening.com
    • 2. If you want to:• Understand yourself and others, so that• You can be more influential...• Persuade yourself to do what you know you should do...• And so become happier, more successful and make the world a better place
    • 3. Not for:• The superficial - you need to be curious about people and the way they tick• Scammers and get-rich-quick merchants
    • 4. X-Ray Listening Claim• The unconscious mind is the part which actually drives our behaviour• It has its own language• You can learn to understand and speak it• When you do, you open a window onto how people tick, and become able to influence them more easily
    • 5. Have you ever tried to:• Persuade a loved one to change a habit that you know is harming them (eg smoking, overeating)• Tried to understand why you keep doing things you say you don’t want to (eg watching TV rather than exercising)• Then you know the power of the unconscious mind!
    • 6. In this session you will:• Be introduced to the native language of the unconscious mind• Begin to grasp what’s really going on for people, so you can relate at a deeper level• Discover two special questions which encourage unconscious minds to open up to you
    • 7. Judy Rees• Worked with these techniques for six years• Used them in various business contexts• Trained hundreds of people worldwide• Co-author of Clean Language: Revealing Metaphors and Opening Minds
    • 8. Unconscious mind• At least 95 per cent of cognition is outside of conscious awareness• People don’t behave “rationally” (eg. choose branded medication for severe symptoms)• Has been thought of as dark, even dangerous... because not understood
    • 9. Unconscious mind• Gerald Zaltman metaphor - heat filter, cooling bread looks like a rainbow• "Now imagine a similar filter applied to consumers unconscious thoughts. More colours appear than any firework show could ever hope to display. These new colours represent the hidden treasures in the shadow of the mind."
    • 10. X-Ray Listeningprovides such a filter
    • 11. Uses metaphor - thenative language of the unconscious mind
    • 12. Metaphor = one kind of thing in terms of another
    • 13. Example: “The mind is like a rider on an elephant.”
    • 14. Metaphor• Surprising fact - about six metaphors per minute in ordinary English• Spill out from the unconscious mind• We live our metaphors - eg. compare “life is one long battle” to “life’s like a fairground ride”
    • 15. Noticing metaphors• Easiest - on TV or radio• Next - overhearing live people• Then - in actual conversation• Hardest - your own
    • 16. Metaphor influences• Advertisers, politicians, teachers, artists etc all use metaphors because they influence us• eg. Obama: economy is like a car, Republicans drinking Slurpees while watching us AND• New piece of jigsaw: Our own metaphors influence us more than other people’s
    • 17. Common language?• Superficial similarity eg. Important = big• Vs Individual difference eg. “Ditch” - how big?• Or complete bafflement and have to guess eg “Slurpee”
    • 18. Common language?• Metaphors can have widely different meanings eg. “Economy is in a ditch” - one wheel, or upside down and on fire?• 2 Lazy Jedi Questions reveal differences in detail, and in meaning
    • 19. 2 Lazy Jedi Qs• What kind of X (is that)?• Is there anything else about X?• From David Grove’s Clean Language
    • 20. Why ask?• Reveal and clarify details and meaning• Deepen connection• Intensify emotion (so beware “negative” metaphors)• Metaphors you uncover may be used later, to influence (with integrity)
    • 21. Example• Paul: “For you, the NLP Mindfest is like... what?”• Ask 2 LJQs
    • 22. How is this used?• In families - eg father and daughter• In developing successful groups and teams• In healthcare - eg doc understand patient• In therapy - eg addiction• In technical requirements - E34.8m = $50m• In coaching - eg find right job or biz niche
    • 23. Things to do• Notice metaphors people use and how it enhances your understanding• Ask 2 Lazy Jedi Questions about metaphors• Notice your own metaphors and ask yourself the questions• Practice and develop skills
    • 24. Embodied metaphor• In language, we often use our senses and our bodies to represent abstract ideas• “He’s falling behind with the payments” - lateness is like falling behind• “She’s a pain in the neck”• “Things are looking up”
    • 25. Less obviously, that’sbecause our bodies are thinking in metaphor
    • 26. “Most of the data available to us from theexternal world and from our bodies never enter consciousness.” J Allan Hobson, neurophysiologist
    • 27. Examples• Ask someone to hold a warm drink and they will feel “warmer” to strangers• Outdoors or open space help people to do “blue sky thinking”• Negotiators seeking win-win sit side-by-side rather than face-to-face• Putting distance between you and problem reduces the emotion involved
    • 28. Play with using physicalmetaphor to influence
    • 29. In this session you have:• Been introduced to the native language of the unconscious mind• Begun to grasp what’s really going on for people, so you can relate at a deeper level• Discovered two special questions which encourage unconscious minds to open up to you
    • 30. Next steps• Clean Language: Revealing Metaphors and Opening Minds by Wendy Sullivan and Judy Rees• Website www.xraylistening.com has more info about using these ideas for yourself and to help others• Connect on Twitter, Facebook,YouTube
    • 31. Takeaways• Notice metaphors people use and how it enhances your understanding• Ask 2 Lazy Jedi Questions about metaphors• Notice your own metaphors and ask yourself the questions• Play with physical metaphors for influence• Practice and develop skills
    • 32. Let me know what youachieve using metaphor