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  1. 1. Participant Observation of Male Behavior Within The Modern Dating Scene -or- The Wingman’s Lament By Joshua S. Seiler
  2. 2. The Questions At Hand
What
behavioral
changes
take
place
when
the
environment
is
subject
 to
change?
I
had
noticed
that
my
friends
and
I,
when
going
out,
would
 change
our
habits
depending
on
where
we
were
(drink
orders,
who
we
 would
talk
to,
etc.).
Since
my
home
is
rather
large
(there
are
5
of
us
 under
one
roof)
I
thought
that
this
would
constitute
a
small
but
 manageable
group
to
conduct
a
participant
observation.
Within
this
 group
I
would
observe
what
behavioral
changes
took
place
when
we
 switched
locations.
By
recording
these
changes
I
would
be
able
to
 better
assess
the
behavioral
patterns
of
the
male
in
regards
to
social
 habits.
This
is
important
because
with
this
research
one
would
be
able
 to
better
know
their
surroundings
which,
in
the
dating
world,
can
be
 the
most
helpful
of
Dindings.

  3. 3. The Hypothesis
“When
presented
with
change,
the
modern
 male
will
adapt
or
be
ostracized
from
the
 group.
Going
against
the
grain,
in
regards
to
 social
outings,
will
be
viewed
by
potential
 mates
as
a
weakness
when
in
consideration
 for
courtship.”

  4. 4. Relevant Related Research“Genderlect
Styles”
by
Deborah
 
I
thought
this
essay
would
help
 Tannen
 my
hypothesis
by
suggesting

This
essay
by
Tannen
re,lects
on
 that
there
is
already
a
“cross‐ the
communicative
differences
 cultural”
divide
between
men
 between
men
and
women
and
 and
women.

When
presented
 how
it
can
be
described
as
 with
change,
genderlect
 “cross­cultural
communication”.
 environments,
and
the
 She
assess
that
men
use
a
 “report”
style
of
communication
 opportunity
of
courtship,
the
 whereas
women
use
a
more
 modern
male
should,
if
I
am
 “rapport”
style.
Simple
put,
men
 correct,
adapt
or
be
subject
to
 see
interaction
as
a
way
to
gain
 criticism
or
worse,
be
ostracized
 status;
view
it
as
competition.
 from
his
group
entirely.
 And,
women
see
interaction
as
a
 way
to
build
connections.

  5. 5. More
Relevant
Works
“The
Dating
Jungle:
Man
as
Hunter
 
While
this
article
is
not
from
a
 Male
Behavior
in
the
Dating
 major
publication
and
instead
 World”
by
Ronnie
Ann
Rand,
The
 from
a
blog,
it
still
helps
support
 Ideal
Match
blog
 the
report
vs.
rapport
idea,
and

The
blog
article
uses
 will
in
turn
also
support
my
 comparisons
from
the
animal
 hypothesis
which
states
that
 kingdom
in
regards
to
the
 males
will
have
to
adapt
to
 modern
dating
scene
and
 changes
within
their
 further
the
ideas
that
men
and
 environments
in
regards
to
 women
have
a
cross‐cultural
 social
outings.
 between
them.

  6. 6. The Subjects and Variables
My
friends
are
the
supportive
types
and
 when
I
enlisted
their
services
they
were
 more
than
happy
to
help.
They
were
helpful
 in
this
research
by
answering
any
and
all
 questions
I
had,
and
answered
in
length
and
 honesty.
I
will
list
the
men
and
the
places
 researched,
leaving
out
the
names
for
 privacy’s
sake.

  7. 7. Male A and Location A
Male
A
is
the
youngest
of
 
Location
A
is
the
most
 the
5,
and
by
far
the
most
 visited
of
the
5
places
 verbose.
He
is
23,
plays
 within
the
experiment.
It
is
 bass
guitar
and
works
in
 a
bar
where
this
particular
 higher‐end
fashion
retail.
 group
feels
most
 He
speaks
what
is
on
his
 comfortable,
and
it
was
felt
 mind,
most
of
the
time
 to
be
a
logical
choice
to
 without
thought
to
where
 start.
This
group
is
known
 he
is.
A
very
fast
talker,
he
 by
most
of
the
staff
and
 is
conDident
in
his
 have
developed
a
good
 surroundings.

 rapport
with
all
of
them.

  8. 8. Male B and Location B
Male
B
is
the
second
to
 
Location
B
is
a
place
 youngest
at
24,
and
is
the
 located
inside
a
hotel.
The
 most
“variant”
in
how
he
 clientele
are
typically
of
an
 behaves.
Often
he
will
be
 older
age
group
and
the
 seen
as
abrasive,
but
will
 menus
of
both
the
food
 never
stray
too
far
off
base.
 and
drinks
are
carefully
 He
plays
guitar,
and
also
 selected
and
high
priced.
 works
in
fashion
retail.
 The
décor
has
a
lot
of
 Could
be
almost
as
 leather
and
darkly
 talkative
as
subject
A,
 polished
wood.
 especially
when
together.

  9. 9. Male C and Location C
Male
C
is
27
years
old
and
 
Location
C
is
a
cash
only
 the
most
reserved.
He
 bar
where
the
group
is
not
 works
for
Apple,
Inc.
and
 familiar
with
the
staff
in
 when
going
out
in
the
past
 any
way.
There
is
no
food
 has
always
been
well
 served
and
I
believe
that
 received
by
the
opposite
 the
jukebox
is
mainly
used
 sex.
His
quiet
nature
 for
proDiling
purposes.
It
is
 makes
him
the
variable
 divided
into
the
main
 that
will
most
likely
result
 lounge
area,
and
the
dart
 in
smallest
amount
of
 board
room
in
the
back.
 change
 There
are
no
doors
in
the
 bathrooms.

  10. 10. Male D and Location D
Male
D
is
also
27
years
old
 
Location
D
is
the
largest
 and
works
for
a
high
end
 and
the
most
commercial
 denim
company.
He
is
the
 of
all
the
locations.
It
is
a
 older
brother
of
Male
B
 sports
bar
with
several
 and
their
relationship
I
 events
throughout
the
 thought
for
the
most
 week
and
for
the
most
part
 interesting
variable
within
 has
a
large
number
of
 the
experiment.
He
is
also
 patrons
every
night.
They
 in
a
monogamous
 have
a
large
menu
for
both
 relationship
of
two
years.
 food
and
drinks
and
many
 televisions
throughout
the
 restaurant
area.

  11. 11. Expectations and Concerns
I
expect
that
this
experiment
shall
go
smoothly.
My
friends,
my
group,
 are
all
varied
in
their
character
traits
and
how
they
handle
social
 situations.
I
believe
that
these
variances
will
better
demonstrate
my
 hypothesis
in
the
Dield
and
yield
more
data.

My
concerns
are
few
but
they
are
concerns
nevertheless.
I
am
 concerned
about
the
two
brothers
and
that
their
relationship
may
 hinder
the
real
results
of
the
experiment.
I
am
concerned
that
having
 known
these
men
for
some
time,
my
biases
may
come
into
play
when
 taking
notes
about
their
behavior.
And,
I
am
concerned
that
if
we
don’t
 carefully
monitor
ourselves,
or
drink
with
irresponsibility
that
it
will
 destroy
the
results
of
the
experiment
entirely.

  12. 12. Notes at Location A‐  Upon
arriving
at
the
bar
it
is
clear
that
this
is
a
busy
night.
The
door
man
 remembers
us,
we
pass
through
a
small
line
and
immediately
head
to
the
bar
 where
the
manager
is
bartending.
‐  The
quietest
of
the
group
decides
to
leave
for
a
moment
to
use
the
restroom.
‐  After
drinks
are
ordered
everyone,
including
myself,
turn
our
backs
to
the
bar
 top
and
start
looking
around.
This
catches
me
off
guard
as
the
reason
for
going
 out
was
to
facilitate
this
experiment.
‐  There
is
a
good
amount
of
inconspicuous
gesturing
going
on
by
my
group
to
 other
groups
of
people
around.
Comments
about
ways
people
are
dressed,
and
 other
judgments
are
made.
‐  Maybe
it
was
the
comfort
level
of
being
at
a
bar
they
frequent
quite
a
bit,
but
a
 lot
of
the
behavior
I
noticed
almost
could
be
described
as
“catty”.
‐  The
youngest
of
the
group
was
the
only
one
to
make
an
effort
to
venture
 outside
conversation
within
group.
He
spoke
with
a
blonde
girl,
and
developed
 a
rapport
enough
to
introduce
her
to
the
rest
of
us.
‐  We
stayed
for
a
little
under
an
hour
and
a
half.

  13. 13. Notes at Location B‐  This
location
required
the
group
to
leave
the
comfort
of
their
normal
 surroundings
and
take
a
taxi
in
order
to
get
their.
I
was
made
aware
of
several
 times
how
good
of
friends
I
had
that
they
were
doing
this.
‐  As
we
arrive
at
the
hotel
bar,
I
see
two
large
gentlemen
in
suits
who
need
IDs
 and
a
form
of
back
up.
‐  We
do
not
know
anyone
this
time,
and
the
quieter
roommate
decides
to
not
go
 to
the
restroom
right
away.
After
being
asked
about
it,
he
said
he
wanted
to
 stick
around
and
see
what
happened.
‐  The
other
groups
within
the
bar
are
all
very
well
dressed,
and
seem
of
a
 slightly
older
age
bracket.
Everyone
in
my
group
orders
nicer
drinks
like
 manhattans
or
an
old
fashioned.
‐  The
same
turning
the
back
to
the
bar
move
is
used,
and
I
ask
everyone
why
we
 did
this.
I
am
told
by
all
that
it
is
in
order
to
stand
out,
or
“peacock”.
‐  Being
slightly
under
dressed,
the
group
is
hesitant
to
talk
to
anyone.
I
ask
if
 anyone
will,
and
all
respond
negatively.
We
stay
for
about
45
minutes.

  14. 14. Notes at Location C‐  Getting
back
into
a
cab
seems
off
putting
to
all,
so
we
walk
part
of
the
way.
‐  The
more
“abrasive”
male
of
the
group
starts
doing
something
he
calls
“hey
 girl‐ing”.
The
responses
he
receives
all
seem
unthreatened,
but
also
 uninterested.
‐  The
male
of
the
group
who
is
in
the
committed
relationship
decides
it
is
time
to
 check‐in
with
his
girlfriend
and
hangs
back
to
make
a
phone
call.
‐  We
all
arrive
at
location
C
shortly
thereafter,
and
are
greeted
this
time
by
a
 door
man
of
no
more
than
21
in
a
hooded
sweatshirt
and
smoking
a
cigarette.
‐  The
location
is
fairly
crowded,
but
the
very
talkative
male
has
seen
some
 people
he
knows
sitting
down,
so
we
are
all
able
to
crowd
around
a
table
near
 the
back.
‐  The
group
is
now
much
larger,
and
no
longer
all
male.

‐  After
introductions
are
made,
the
quieter
male
leaves
to
put
money
in
the
 jukebox.

‐  Noticing
that
he
has
left
the
group
again
upon
arriving,
I
am
assuming
there
 must
be
some
sort
of
anxiety
about
crowds.

  15. 15. Notes at Location C (con’t)‐  I
ask
him
how
he
feels
about
crowds,
and
his
response
is
very
passive
saying
 that
he
had
never
really
thought
about
it.
‐  The
larger
group,
now
of
mixed
gender,
has
all
began
talking.
People
are
mostly
 talking
to
the
person
immediately
next
to
him
or
her.
The
original
group
is
now
 divided.
Each
member
buys
separate
bottled
beers.
‐  The
“abrasive”
male
begins
talking
to
a
brunette
woman.
He
keeps
his
arms
 crossed
and
in
front
of
him.
His
head
is
slightly
downward
while
he
tries
to
 listen
to
her.
When
he
laughs
he
seems
almost
conscious
about
not
showing
his
 teeth.
‐  The
male
in
the
relationship
joins
the
other
talking
to
the
brunette
woman.
 Since
they
are
brothers,
questions
about
their
relationship
immediately
come
 up.
Both
start
to
gesture
more
with
their
hands.
‐  The
talkative
male
is
speaking
with
his
friend
he
saw
when
we
Dirst
arrived.
 They
are
talking
about
music,
and
work.
The
talkative
male
has
his
legs
crossed
 almost
effeminately
and
touches
his
hair
a
lot.
‐  After
being
asked
about
his
behavior,
it
is
conDided
that
he
believes
he
is
going
 bald
and
has
been
anxious
about
this
for
a
number
of
weeks.
‐  We
stay
for
about
2
and
a
half
hours.

  16. 16. Notes at Location D‐  Location
D
is
within
walking
distance
of
the
last
place.
The
quieter
male
 smokes
a
cigarette,
and
makes
a
phone
call
while
the
rest
of
us
talk
about
the
 group
we
had
just
left.

‐  Jokes
are
made
about
the
male
talking
to
the
brunette.
They
are
about
him
 being
in
love,
and
how
the
rest
of
the
group
can’t
wait
for
the
wedding.
He
 seems
good
natured
about
it.
The
majority
of
the
jokes
are
made
by
his
brother.
‐  As
we
reach
location
D,
a
man
at
the
door
wearing
a
polo
shirt
scans
our
IDs.
 Loud
music
is
playing
and
each
TV
has
a
different
sport
on
it.
This
is
by
far
the
 most
crowded
location.
‐  The
quieter
male,
as
thought
he
would,
excuses
himself
to
the
restroom,
and
 the
rest
of
us
walk
up
to
the
bar.
There
are
stools
around
us
and
available,
but
 we
choose
to
stand.
‐  A
trivia
contest
is
going
on
and
the
talkative
male
is
shouting
out
deliberately
 wrong
answers.
‐  A
group
of
four
women
playing
trivia
hear
him,
and
after
realizing
this
he
 approaches
them
and
offers
help
with
their
answers.

  17. 17. Notes at Location D (con’t)‐  The
four
women
were
at
a
close
enough
vicinity
to
where
we
were
all
able
to
 contribute
to
their
trivia
team
questions.
‐  The
more
abrasive
male
makes
a
joke
about
the
talkative
one
and
immediately
 apologizes.
‐  After
being
asked
about
why
he
apologized,
he
said
he
didn’t
really
know
and
 maybe
it
was
because
women
were
around.

‐  Two
of
the
four
women
seemed
to
have
an
interest
in
the
male
in
a
relationship
 and
he
seemed
to
reciprocate
their
interest
using
body
language.
‐  After
being
asked,
he
said
that
he
had
not
done
anything
wrong
yet,
and
 seemed
almost
as
if
I
was
being
accusatory.

‐  We
stayed
for
about
2
hours
and
the
group
of
four
women
eventually
left.
‐  Immediately
after
their
departure,
jokes
and
comments
were
made
about
the
 male
the
two
women
seemed
most
interested
in.


  18. 18. Conclusions
and
Summary

In
conclusion,
I
found
that
the
results
were
somewhat
inconclusive.
I
wanted
to
 see
more
signiDicant
behavioral
changes,
but
saw
only
minor
ones
at
best.
What
 became
most
obvious
right
away
were
more
rituals
than
behaviors.
First,
there
 was
the
turning
away
from
the
bar
after
we
received
our
drinks.
Much
like
a
 pack
of
animals
scanning
for
prey,
it
seemed
like
a
very
base
instinct
when
I
 was
able
to
stand
back
and
take
a
look
at
myself.
Secondly,
there
was
the
 quieter
male’s
trips
to
the
restroom
whenever
we
arrived
at
a
new
location.
He
 seemed
anxious,
and
almost
needed
to
ease
into
new
situations.
This
was
only
 different
at
the
hotel
bar
where
we
all
seemed
under
dressed
and
almost
out
of
 place.
I
can
only
assume
that
being
so
entirely
out
of
his
element
froze
his
 defense
mechanism
of
leaving
crowded
situations.
It
is
also
interesting
to
 notice
the
change
in
drink
order
when
the
group
found
themselves
at
a
nicer
 establishment.
Instead
of
the
usual
bottled
beer,
a
manhattan
or
nicer
cocktail
 was
ordered.
Finally,
the
last
behavioral
note
to
mention
would
be
when
the
 group
encountered
another
group.


  19. 19. Conclusions and Summary (con’t)
Being
in
a
larger
group,
and
all
being
newly
acquainted,
seemed
to
give
the
 group
a
new
feeling
of
security
within
the
new
location.
This
newfound
 security,
for
lack
of
a
better
term,
came
with
it,
a
new
sense
of
bravery
as
well.
 This
is
noticeable
when
the
more
abrasive
of
males
chose
to
strike
up
 conversation
with
a
brunette
woman
inside
the
bar.
Another
example
of
how
a
 growth
in
numbers
may
effect
behavior
or
the
very
least,
the
bravery
of
the
 group,
is
seen
when
the
male
in
the
relationship
reciprocated
the
Dlirtatious
 behavior
of
the
two
women
in
location
D.

The
results
show
that
environment
does
have
somewhat
of
an
effect
of
the
 behavioral
changes
of
men,
especially
when
the
crowd
is
large
and
mixed
 gendered.
Luckily,
everyone
was
relatively
well
behaved
and
was
able
to
 maintain
a
level
of
responsibility.
My
expectations
were
a
little
let
down
so
far
 as
the
data
is
concerned,
but
overall
I
think
the
experiment
was
a
success.
Of
 course,
more
experiments
would
need
to
take
place.

  20. 20. Works Cited‐GrifDin,
E.
(2009).
Communication:
A
First
Look
at
 Communication
Theory.
Chapter
33:
Genderlect
Styles.
 Tannen,
Deborah.
(pp.
429­440)
‐Rand,
Ronnie.
(2011).
The
Ideal
Match:
Dating
Tips
for
 Women
in
San
Diego.
 http://theidealmatch.org/2011/01/the­dating­jungle­man­ as­hunter­male­behavior­in­the­dating­world­and­its­ origins/
‐Berger,
Arthur
Asa.
(2011).
Media
and
Communication
 Research
Methods:
An
Introduction
to
Qualitative
and
 Quantitative
Approaches.
Thousand
Oaks,
CA.
Sage
 Publications.


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