3. Matthew 5:7-9
Blessed are the merciful, for they
shall obtain mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for
they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for
they shall be called sons of God.
You will bless your marriage (and
other relationships) by being
merciful, having a pure heart and
intentions and by being a
peacemaker (not a troublemaker!)
How To Bless Your Marriage!
4. Our new heavenly nature seeks peace, love
and unity and the things of grace in heaven
The flesh seeks its own self-satisfaction at
all costs. The flesh lusts, wants to
argue, justify itself, win at all costs, and so
on.
Reconciliation is a gift from the Cross, that
can ONLY be implemented by the new
nature.
So ignore and crucify the flesh, and walk in
the Spirit on a daily basis
Galatians 5:16-26
Ephesians 4:17-32, 5:18
Romans 8:5,6
Use Your New Heavenly Nature!
5. Ephesians 5:18 “Be filled with the Spirit”
Luke 11:11-13 – Ask for the Holy Spirit
Mark 11:21-24 – Believe you have received!
PRAYER:
“I now ask, in the Name of Jesus Christ, to be
powerfully filled with the Holy Spirit, and I
believe that I have received and will
experience the filling of the Holy Spirit”
A Spirit-filled marriage, full of love, wisdom
and the fruit of the Spirit will not give in to the
lusts of the flesh or to carnal selfish behavior!
Daily Filling With The Holy Spirit!
6. Marriage is MUCH MORE than a “partnership” that ensures
“progress in life” and economic and personal security.
Marriage is a sexual and relational covenant that is meant
to ensure that people become like Christ.
Marriage is MAINLY about personal and spiritual and
emotional and intellectual growth and maturity and about
expressing the wonderful romantic love of God so that you
are a witness to the existence of the grace of God in Christ
Jesus.
If you have the wrong idea about marriage you will then do
the wrong things within marriage!
Have The Right Idea!
8. Resentments are the Devil’s “footholds” Eph 4:27
Resolve
If issues are not resolved they turn into
resentments and start to fester within us.
Resent Eventually the resentments create distance and
rejection in the marriage and communication
ceases while irritation increases.
Reject
Over time irritation overwhelms the desire not to
act, it becomes fixed into an ambition to take
revenge, which may be explosive and destructive.
Revenge
Get Rid Of All Resentments Right Now!
9. Galatians 5:24-26 And those who are Christ's have
crucified the flesh with its passions and lusts. If we live by
the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. Let us not become
conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.
Romans 12:17-21 (EMTV) Do not repay anyone evil for
evil; providing that which is good before all men. If
possible, as much as depends on you, keeping peace
with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but give
place to wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will
repay," says the Lord. Therefore "If your enemy should
hunger, feed him; if he should thirst, give him drink; for by
doing this you will heap burning coals upon his head.“ Do
not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Limit Retaliation / Crucify The Flesh
10. You have an “emergency red STOP button”
that you can press to stop your emotions
whenever you want!
If your mother rings up when you are yelling at
your wife, you can calm down, pick up the
phone and sound all sweet and nice all within a
few seconds.
You are in control, and when you want you can
be in control, you just have to want to be in
control, and you need to use the Red Button
much more often.
Self-control is a spiritual fruit that you can
receive by grace, through faith!
Press The Red Emergency Button!
11. No one can “make you feel” anything!
(except in cases of extreme torture).
If you want to be miserable you can stay
miserable even when people are trying to
make you happy.
If you want to be bitter you can stay bitter;
and if you want to be rejoicing in the Lord
you can stay rejoicing in the Lord!
You have CHOSEN to feel the way that you
feel based on WILL and on your BELIEFS
about the situation!
Your husband/ wife/ children/ in-laws/ are
not responsible for the way you feel and
nether is the church, the government or
men from Mars!
Your Feelings Are Your Fault!
12. “Love your enemy…” (Matthew 5:43-48) means
that Jesus expects us to be able to CHOOSE OUR
RESPONSE to the difficult person in our life!
When we can consistently choose to respond in a
godly fashion to difficult, hurtful people then we are
“perfected” in love. (Matthew 5:48)
No one can “make you react’ in a certain way, your
enemy cannot automatically make you behave this
way or that, with the help of the Holy Spirit you can
choose a better response!
Love Your Enemy!
13. Many minor issues can just be tolerated, the Bible calls
this forbearance. It means to be able to “bear up” under
circumstances and irritations.
Forbearance is a sign of spiritual strength and of great
Christian maturity.
It shows that you do not “sweat the small stuff” but can
act with wisdom. Not over-sensitive.
Ephesians 4:2,
Do not let irritation “push” you into foolish, Colossians 3:13
embarrassing or destructive behavior!
If it is so dumb that only a fool would do it
– then don’t do it!
Practice Forbearance of Irritations
14. Matthew 7:1-5
Sometimes we blow things up out of all proportion,
get jealous, threatened, fearful, paranoid or
become way too anxious and self-defensive
seeing imagined enemies, slights, insults and
disrespect everywhere.
Or we want everyone to take “our side”
We need to pray for a dose of God’s Faith-Filled
Heavenly Perspective Restorer so we see people
and issues through God’s gracious and very
sensible and wise eyes.
If you sense that you might be a bit “off” then do
nothing rash, and seek counsel. Pray through until
you find both sanity and clarity!
Perspective Restorer!
15. Focus on the solution not the problem.
Let the image in your mind and heart be that of
the solution being implemented.
Don’t fix the blame, fix the problem instead.
Pray for the solution rather than about the
problem, e.g pray for “God’s peace to reign
and rule in our house”
Take small constructive steps toward the
solution that you “see” and that you are
praying for.
Fix The Problem (Not The Blame!)
17. Acceptable Unacceptable
Infidelity (of the other) Money Issues
Consanguinity “In-Law” Issues
Change of Gender or of Hope for “Someone Better”
Sexual Orientation Illness of One’s Partner
The Unbeliever Departs Risk/Adventure/Mid-Life Crisis
Domestic Violence Spitefulness / Anger / Blame
Severe Mental Illness Moving for Work
Criminality / Major Addictions Conflicts Over Ministry Issues
Any valid reason for divorce must strike at the VERY CORE of
the marriage covenant and not just be a peripheral matter!
Reasons For Divorce
18. “I don’t like you any more”… “the spark has gone”…
These thoughts are often strongholds of Satan in
your mind built up on layers of negative, lazy and
foolish behavior (e.g. not talking, not eating together,
not praying together, working too many jobs etc)
Focus on the PERSON not on the feelings
Work on your marriage not just in or for your
marriage
Change behavior: have date nights, family times etc
Change your negative stinking thinking into positive
biblical beliefs
Dealing With Estrangement
19. • Marriage involves the “fire” of sexual love, between a
man and a woman, within the “fireplace” of marriage
which protects any child conceived within the marriage.
•Fire which is started outside of the appropriate fireplace
can burn the house down! (extra-marital affairs, pre-
marital sex, “hooking up” etc)
• If there is no fire in the fireplace then the marriage can
become “cold” and formal and lead to temptation for
finding “warmth” from elsewhere which is why 1 1 Corinthians 7:1-6
Corinthians 7:1-6 tells us “not to deprive one another”
Song of Solomon
•Sexual problems within marriage may need medical
attention in order to “restart the fire” that is essential to
the proper functioning of the marriage as God has made
us to be “male and female” not neuter gender angels!
Fire In The Fireplace
20. We have a protective “blast door’ in
our soul that we shut when we are
emotionally manipulated or are
threatened or when we live in chaos!
It is easy to move and to close but
nothing can get through it!
Sometimes it stays shut and we need John 17:23,26
to open it again, to agree to receive Ephesians 3:14-21
love!
“In Jesus Name, I agree to receive
love from God and from others…”
The Nuclear Blast Door…
21. Be merciful, pure in heart and a peacemaker!
Live out of your heavenly nature!
Be filled with the Spirit
Crucify the flesh and its passions
Get rid of all resentments
Limit retaliation and do not take revenge
Press the red emergency button (self-control)
Your emotions are your fault!
Practice forbearance of irritations
Fix the problem and not the blame
Any valid reason for divorce must strike at the very root of the
marriage
We need to open up the nuclear blast door!
Summary
