Making Difficult Conversations Less Difficult

How to make difficult work conversations less difficult Helping organisations bring out the best in their talent Helping individuals make positive and rewarding career choices www.pinpoint.ie Prepared by John Deely BA MSc Occupational Psychologist with Pinpoint.

ABOUT PINPOINT
Pinpoint – occupational psychologists and career management specialists
Key Services:
Coaching talent in organisations especially new managers and teams working under pressure
Career direction and development for individuals off their own bat or as part of a redundancy programme
Profiling – psychometric testing of talent

Firstly, Gain Perspective

The Biggest Barrier
One of the biggest barriers for having difficult conversations is anxiety caused by incorrect assumptions.
Inner speech (or self talk) plays a central role in human consciousness.
A key concept in the study of optimism, depression, healthy marriages.

Let go feelings & Provide Clarity

Avoid Avoidance
“ Can’t do it today, too busy”
“ I’ll catch it at the performance review”
“ Maybe someone else will tell them”
“ Their work was good today, so maybe it is ok”
“ I don’t want to upset the apple cart”
“ I can’t believe they could not be aware they are doing a bad job”

Questions to challenge yourself
How will I be helping them?
Why am I delaying this?
Will delaying telling them about this problem make it go away?
Would I like to know how I was doing?
What am I assuming their reaction will be?

Give room to explore
Avoid or don’t rush into
Advising, Giving Solutions
“ Why don’t you...”
Ordering, Directing
“ You have to...”
Preaching, Moralising
“ You’d better not...”
Warning, Threatening
“ You ought to...”
Evaluating, Blaming
“ You’re wrong...”
Interpreting, Diagnosing
“ You need to...”

Delivering the message
Be direct about the current and desired state
Own the message. Use “I”
Get to the point, don’t mix it in with other things.
Sensitive
Let’s not pretend it will be easy
Practice this communication
Like a muscle, it will develop.

Questions & Handouts

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Making Difficult Conversations Less Difficult

by John Deely on Dec 16, 2010

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Making Difficult Conversations Less Difficult — Presentation Transcript