Can a Girl or a Woman Be a Bully?
Who’s a Bully <ul><li>What images come to mind when you hear the word bully? </li></ul><ul><ul><li>What gender </li></ul><...
 
Raise Your Hand If… <ul><li>You ever snatched a girl’s or woman’s jewelry, backpack, or other valuables? Stealing clothing...
Being a Bully <ul><li>Whom did you bully? </li></ul><ul><li>How old were you? </li></ul><ul><li>Where were you? </li></ul>...
When you were being a bully… <ul><li>What was it that you really needed? What were you trying to get? </li></ul><ul><li>Wh...
Four Way to Communicate and What They Get You <ul><li>In Your Face </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Examples: </li></ul></ul><ul><ul>...
2… <ul><li>The Disappearing Act </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Examples: </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>“Maybe. I don’t care. It do...
3… <ul><li>The Combo:  This combines   “in your face” and “the disappearing act.” In this style, our actions don’t match o...
4… <ul><li>Direct and Clear Communication: Thoughtful, honest sharing </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Examples: </li></ul></ul><ul><...
The Anger Pledge <ul><li>My anger is powerful. I will not hide it. And I promise not to turn my anger into violence toward...
Checkout <ul><li>Why do you thing so many people act like bullies sometimes? What would it take for that to change? Would ...
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  • Mean Girls Best of Regina
  • 7 can a girl or a woman

    1. 1. Can a Girl or a Woman Be a Bully?
    2. 2. Who’s a Bully <ul><li>What images come to mind when you hear the word bully? </li></ul><ul><ul><li>What gender </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Race </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Body type </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>What kinds of situations or scenes? </li></ul></ul>
    3. 4. Raise Your Hand If… <ul><li>You ever snatched a girl’s or woman’s jewelry, backpack, or other valuables? Stealing clothing, shoes, makeup, or money? </li></ul><ul><li>Threatened to withdraw a friendship to coerce a girl to do something she didn’t want to do? </li></ul><ul><li>Making fun of a girl to get her to do what you wanted her to do? </li></ul><ul><li>Fighting with, threatening, or intimidating another girl over a boy or to impress a boy? </li></ul><ul><li>Flashing a weapon to intimidate a girl? </li></ul><ul><li>Using gossip to create bad feelings about another girl? </li></ul><ul><li>Putting a girl down because of the way she was dressed? </li></ul><ul><li>Putting a girl down because of her body’s size or shape or both? </li></ul><ul><li>Pushing around a younger, smaller, physically less powerful person? </li></ul>
    4. 5. Being a Bully <ul><li>Whom did you bully? </li></ul><ul><li>How old were you? </li></ul><ul><li>Where were you? </li></ul><ul><li>Describe what happened…? </li></ul><ul><li>What did you really need? </li></ul><ul><li>Why didn’t you just ask for what you needed? </li></ul><ul><li>What did you gain by being a bully? </li></ul><ul><li>What did being a bully cost you? </li></ul><ul><li>How did the other person feel? </li></ul>
    5. 6. When you were being a bully… <ul><li>What was it that you really needed? What were you trying to get? </li></ul><ul><li>Why didn’t you just ask? </li></ul><ul><li>What did you gain in the short term? </li></ul><ul><li>What does it cost in the long term? </li></ul><ul><li>Which costs have you paid? </li></ul><ul><li>What did it cost the victim? </li></ul>
    6. 7. Four Way to Communicate and What They Get You <ul><li>In Your Face </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Examples: </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>“ Give it to me. I want it now.” </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>“ That’s mine: </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>“ If you don’t give it tom me I’ll…” </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><li>Usual Results </li></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>We lose friends and relationships. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>We risk being in danger. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>We risk other people’s anger. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Other people may try to get back at us. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>We feel guilt and shame. </li></ul></ul></ul>
    7. 8. 2… <ul><li>The Disappearing Act </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Examples: </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>“Maybe. I don’t care. It doesn’t matter to me.” </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>“It’s not important. Do whatever you want.” </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Usual Results: </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>We don’t get our needs met. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>We feel angry and ripped off. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Resentment </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Others don’t know how we really feel. </li></ul></ul></ul>
    8. 9. 3… <ul><li>The Combo: This combines “in your face” and “the disappearing act.” In this style, our actions don’t match our words. We use sarcasm and a calm delivery of threats, and roll our eyes while pretending to sound agreeable. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Examples </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>“ I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m Okay…You better leave me alone.” </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>“ Yeah, they’re real good friends.” </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Usual Results </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>We catch people off guard. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>We lose friends and relationships. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>We leave with unresolved feelings and unmet needs. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>We feel guilt and shame. </li></ul></ul></ul>
    9. 10. 4… <ul><li>Direct and Clear Communication: Thoughtful, honest sharing </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Examples: </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>“ I want this, but what do you want?” </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>“ How can we work this out?” </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>“ I care about what you need.” </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>“ I want to solve this.” </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>“ I feel frustrated when you…” </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Usual Results: </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>We often get our needs met </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>We build relationships and maintain them for a long time. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>We build peace. </li></ul></ul></ul>
    10. 11. The Anger Pledge <ul><li>My anger is powerful. I will not hide it. And I promise not to turn my anger into violence towards myself, my friends, my family, or to anyone else, except in self defense. If my anger turns abusive, I will talk about it in this group or with someone I trust. </li></ul>
    11. 12. Checkout <ul><li>Why do you thing so many people act like bullies sometimes? What would it take for that to change? Would the group agreement make a difference? </li></ul><ul><li>What does it mean to take out our anger on ourselves? </li></ul>

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