0
How to See the Lion
in the Mirror – Promoting
a More Positive and
Productive Workplace

By Joe Tye, CEO and Head Coach
Val...
Self Made Man by Bobbie Carlyle
Breaking through the
invisible ceiling on the
performance potential
of your people and of

your organization
This afternoon we’ll
explore 7 practical
strategies but first

let’s look at your…
Brain
plasticity
What modern brain
science tells us
“We are seeing evidence of the
brain’s ability to remake itself

throughout adult life, not only
in response to outside

s...
“We are seeing, in short, the
brain’s potential to correct its

own flaws and enhance its own
capabilities.”
You can rewire the hardware by
reprogramming the software!
Using The Pyramid of SelfBelief™ to build a stronger
level of self-belief throughout
the organization.
Self-belief is developed at
four levels, each of which
builds upon the other.
14
One of the key responsibilities
of leadership is framing the
collective self-concept – is it
the best of times or the wors...
16
You will never on a
sustained basis exceed
the boundaries of what

is allowed by your own
self-image. That’s why…
No one ever
really “wins”
the lottery.
20
People with low self-esteem
cheat themselves by settling

for anemic dreams and goals.
They cheat the rest of us by
not gi...
22
Our job as leaders includes
giving people the confidence

that our organization can
meet and prevail over the
challenges t...
Strategy #1

Make fear your ally
“Courage is the most
important of all
virtues, because it makes

all of the other virtues
possible.”
Winston Churchill
“Courage is all of the other
virtues at the point at
which they are tested.”

C.S. Lewis
The absence of fear is
not courage!
The absence of fear is…
No Fear,
No Courage…
Big Fear,
Big Courage…
Anxiety
Fear

Worry
Anxiety
Three bad things happen
when you in the thrall of
anxiety…
Bad Thing #1

Memory is distorted: past

successes seem small and
insignificant while past
failures seem huge and

certain...
Bad Thing #2

Perception is distorted: the

dangers facing you are
blown out of proportion
while you underestimate

the re...
Bad Thing #3

Vision is distorted: you

cannot see the possibilities
for a great outcome
because you are so fixated

on im...
The Performance-Anxiety Curve
Anxiety tries to
become fear.
Paul Tillich: The Courage to Be
Fear
Fear can paralyze or it
can catalyze
You’ve heard that the
acronym F.E.A.R. stands
for Fantasized Evidence

Appearing Real.
It also stands for…
Fabulous Excuse
for Avoiding
Responsibility
Fear is your
ally when...
Good Thing #1

It alerts you to the fact that
you are not ready for some
potential future event.
Good Thing #2

It galvanizes you to

take action.
Good Thing #3

It opens your eyes to the

fact you are on the wrong
path in life (one reason
“midlife crisis” is so often
...
Good Thing #4

When it is a call
to focus*
* Procrastination is
always rooted in fear
Good Thing #5

When it is a call
to faith*
* Faith begins at the point
where certainty ends
Terror or exhilaration?
Are people afraid of
change?
Worry
Worry is like paying
interest on a debt
that you probably
don’t even owe!
Is it a problem or is
it a predicament?
Strategy #2

Make adversity
your teacher
Every great accomplishment
was once the “impossible
dream” of a dreamer who

simply refused to quit when
things got tough.
Ten Laws of
Adversity
Law #1

The rain will fall and bad

things will happen to good
people – including you
Law #2

Crisis creates opportunity
Law #3

You must pass through
the valley of the shadow.
Law #4

Falling on your face is

good for your head
Law #5

Whether it’s the best of

times or the worst of times
is your choice
Law #6

One door closes, another

door opens
Law #7

Without the valleys, you
won’t appreciate the
mountains.
Law #8

There are millions of
others who would love to
have your problems
Law #9

Dare most when times
are darkest.
Law #10

Sometimes you meet the
most important people
in your life when you are

flat on your back.
Don’t forget to laugh.
No matter what happens:

Thank God
Ahead of Time
Strategy #3

The Janitor in Your
Attic™ to erase the

malignant echo of
negative self-talk
74
Toxic emotional negativity is
ALWAYS an outer projection of

inner misery…
Hence “co-miserate” – to be
miserable together.
There is an invisible barrier on
the potential of your organization
The collective self-talk, selfimage, and self-belief of your
people will either be the wind
in your sails or the anchor
ho...
The Inner Child is
shadowed by an
Inner Spoiled Brat
The split personality of
your Inner Spoiled Brat
The Whiner

If only we won
the lottery!
The Screamer

You don’t deserve
to win the lottery!
The most important
speech any of us
ever give (the one
you were never

trained to give) is...
What is the first word a
child learns to say?

84
For a variety of evolutionary
reasons, the human mind

automatically gravitates
toward negative, frightening
and depressin...
Experts refer to ANTs –
automatic negative thoughts
Psychologists say that up to
80% of self-talk is negative –

and that we can abuse
ourselves at a speed of 400
words per m...
And much of it is below the
level of conscious

awareness, like graffiti on a
subway car: after a while you
don’t notice i...
You would never tolerate
anyone else speaking to you
the way you allow your
spoiled inner brat to get
away with.
A crucial point!

That voice will
always be in the

second person. It’s
not you talking!!!
91
What you are hearing is
the malignant echo of
nasty things said to you

long ago that
hurt, stuck, and
metastasized (that’...
Two steps to using the
power of Metaphorical
Visualization™ to erase the

graffiti of negative self-talk:

93
Step #1

Visualize the words as
clearly as you possibly can
as graffiti that has been
scrawled on the walls of

your menta...
Step #2

Visualize a janitor (The
Janitor in Your Attic™)
painting over the graffiti
and replacing it with

positive affir...
Caveat!

For your challenge to your

Spoiled Inner Brat to be
credible you must also
take action if what Brat

says is fac...
Strategy #4

Make your body
play a constructive

part in that inner
dialogue…
99
How your body tells
your mind what to
feel…
Watch this TED talk by Amy Cuddy!
How your mouth
tells your mind
what to think…
An essential lesson
from “the best
damn ship in
the Navy”
Smile from the outside
in and you’ll eventually
be smiling from the
inside out.
Strategy #5

Leave behind the
emotional baggage
109
Strategy #6

Create memories of
the future
Do you read your
horoscope?
Joe’s Youroscope

A breakthrough concept

emerges back at the office
today. A great day to make
a difference, make a

frie...
Joe’s Youroscope (contd.)

A great new opportunity will

come from out of the blue,
but it will be well-disguised –
so pay...
Joe’s Youroscope (contd.)

Call your

Mom
You can remember the
future more clearly and
more accurately than you
can remember the past.

118
The difference
between wishful
thinking and
positive thinking…
119
Wishful thinking is
hoping for something and
waiting for someone else
to make it happen.

120
Positive thinking is
expecting something and
working to make it
happen.

121
The 6-As for
creating Memories
of the Future
122
1. Aspiration
You gotta want it –
without ambition we
would all still be hunting

and gathering.
123
2. Articulation
You need to describe
your dream in a way that
others can see it.

124
3. Affirmation
Because we dream in
pictures but we worry in
words.

125
4. Asking
The Aladdin Factor is
asking the right question
of the right person

at the right time.
126
5. Action
Action transforms fear
into fire; accumulation of
many small actions yields

big results.
127
6. Adaptation
Because, as von Moltke
said, no plan survives
contact with the enemy.

128
Wear your Dream next to
your heart

129
Five times every morning
and two things every day.

130
A Memory of the Future
creates healthy cognitive
dissonance

131
132
Strategy #7

Take to heart the
seven promises of The
Self-Empowerment

Pledge™
“I attribute my
success to the fact
that I never gave or
took an excuse.”
Florence Nightingale
Seven Simple Promises

That Will Change Your Life*

* One for each day of the week.
The Pledge is a great
way to foster a more
empowering culture!
138
Watch the YouTube video – half of
these people are not reading it!
If you knew it would

change your life for the
better – profoundly and
permanently – would
you…
Would you give up one
television commercial
a day for a year?
If your answer

is yes, here’s
what you need

to do.
Every morning start
your day by making that
day’s promise – which

will take you about
15 seconds.
Repeat the promise
again in in the middle
of your work day.
Once more before you
leave for home.
And one more time right
before you go to bed.
4 x 15 seconds
= 1 minute
Repeat these promises like
you really mean them!
Let’s take a look
at the seven
promises…
Here’s WHY
it works…
You keep promising yourself that you
will be responsible, accountable, and
determined; make a contribution, be
resilient i...
Then you catch yourself whining and
complaining, procrastinating, gossipi

ng, blaming others for your
problems, taking wh...
You end up with what
psychologists call…
Cognitive Dissonance
Which is trying to simultaneously
hold two incompatible beliefs
At that point, one of two
things MUST happen.
Either you take the easy

way and stop making
the promises…
Or you keep making the
promises until you begin
to change your attitudes

and your
behaviors.
And as you do that, you
will begin to achieve better
results in every dimension

of your life.
Read these seven promises
one more time…
Now ask yourself these
two questions…
Question #1:

If you personally were to take

these seven promises to
heart, would you be better off
than where you are he...
Question #2:

If everyone where you work made

a good faith effort to live these
seven promises, would you do a
better job...
If your answer to these
two questions is…
And if you’re
being
honest, that’s

what your answer
will be.
Then why wouldn’t you
invest those 365 minutes
in yourself? Do
it, because no one can
empower you

but you.
Will you do it? Will
you give up one TV
commercial a day…

To change
your life?
And one last thing…
Think Big

173
Start Small

174
Start Now

175
176
How to See the Lion in Your Mirror, a presentation by Joe Tye
How to See the Lion in Your Mirror, a presentation by Joe Tye
How to See the Lion in Your Mirror, a presentation by Joe Tye
How to See the Lion in Your Mirror, a presentation by Joe Tye
How to See the Lion in Your Mirror, a presentation by Joe Tye
How to See the Lion in Your Mirror, a presentation by Joe Tye
How to See the Lion in Your Mirror, a presentation by Joe Tye
How to See the Lion in Your Mirror, a presentation by Joe Tye
How to See the Lion in Your Mirror, a presentation by Joe Tye
How to See the Lion in Your Mirror, a presentation by Joe Tye
How to See the Lion in Your Mirror, a presentation by Joe Tye
How to See the Lion in Your Mirror, a presentation by Joe Tye
How to See the Lion in Your Mirror, a presentation by Joe Tye
How to See the Lion in Your Mirror, a presentation by Joe Tye
How to See the Lion in Your Mirror, a presentation by Joe Tye
How to See the Lion in Your Mirror, a presentation by Joe Tye
How to See the Lion in Your Mirror, a presentation by Joe Tye
How to See the Lion in Your Mirror, a presentation by Joe Tye
How to See the Lion in Your Mirror, a presentation by Joe Tye
How to See the Lion in Your Mirror, a presentation by Joe Tye
How to See the Lion in Your Mirror, a presentation by Joe Tye
How to See the Lion in Your Mirror, a presentation by Joe Tye
How to See the Lion in Your Mirror, a presentation by Joe Tye
How to See the Lion in Your Mirror, a presentation by Joe Tye
How to See the Lion in Your Mirror, a presentation by Joe Tye
How to See the Lion in Your Mirror, a presentation by Joe Tye
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Transcript of "How to See the Lion in Your Mirror, a presentation by Joe Tye"

  1. 1. How to See the Lion in the Mirror – Promoting a More Positive and Productive Workplace By Joe Tye, CEO and Head Coach Values Coach Inc. Copyright © 2013, Values Coach Inc.
  2. 2. Self Made Man by Bobbie Carlyle
  3. 3. Breaking through the invisible ceiling on the performance potential of your people and of your organization
  4. 4. This afternoon we’ll explore 7 practical strategies but first let’s look at your…
  5. 5. Brain plasticity
  6. 6. What modern brain science tells us
  7. 7. “We are seeing evidence of the brain’s ability to remake itself throughout adult life, not only in response to outside stimuli, but even in response to directed mental effort...”
  8. 8. “We are seeing, in short, the brain’s potential to correct its own flaws and enhance its own capabilities.”
  9. 9. You can rewire the hardware by reprogramming the software!
  10. 10. Using The Pyramid of SelfBelief™ to build a stronger level of self-belief throughout the organization.
  11. 11. Self-belief is developed at four levels, each of which builds upon the other.
  12. 12. 14
  13. 13. One of the key responsibilities of leadership is framing the collective self-concept – is it the best of times or the worst of times, a time of great risk or of great opportunity?
  14. 14. 16
  15. 15. You will never on a sustained basis exceed the boundaries of what is allowed by your own self-image. That’s why…
  16. 16. No one ever really “wins” the lottery.
  17. 17. 20
  18. 18. People with low self-esteem cheat themselves by settling for anemic dreams and goals. They cheat the rest of us by not giving us the best they are capable of giving.
  19. 19. 22
  20. 20. Our job as leaders includes giving people the confidence that our organization can meet and prevail over the challenges that the world will throw at us.
  21. 21. Strategy #1 Make fear your ally
  22. 22. “Courage is the most important of all virtues, because it makes all of the other virtues possible.” Winston Churchill
  23. 23. “Courage is all of the other virtues at the point at which they are tested.” C.S. Lewis
  24. 24. The absence of fear is not courage!
  25. 25. The absence of fear is…
  26. 26. No Fear, No Courage…
  27. 27. Big Fear, Big Courage…
  28. 28. Anxiety Fear Worry
  29. 29. Anxiety
  30. 30. Three bad things happen when you in the thrall of anxiety…
  31. 31. Bad Thing #1 Memory is distorted: past successes seem small and insignificant while past failures seem huge and certain to be repeated.
  32. 32. Bad Thing #2 Perception is distorted: the dangers facing you are blown out of proportion while you underestimate the resources you have.
  33. 33. Bad Thing #3 Vision is distorted: you cannot see the possibilities for a great outcome because you are so fixated on images of doom.
  34. 34. The Performance-Anxiety Curve
  35. 35. Anxiety tries to become fear. Paul Tillich: The Courage to Be
  36. 36. Fear
  37. 37. Fear can paralyze or it can catalyze
  38. 38. You’ve heard that the acronym F.E.A.R. stands for Fantasized Evidence Appearing Real. It also stands for…
  39. 39. Fabulous Excuse for Avoiding Responsibility
  40. 40. Fear is your ally when...
  41. 41. Good Thing #1 It alerts you to the fact that you are not ready for some potential future event.
  42. 42. Good Thing #2 It galvanizes you to take action.
  43. 43. Good Thing #3 It opens your eyes to the fact you are on the wrong path in life (one reason “midlife crisis” is so often a time of searing anxiety).
  44. 44. Good Thing #4 When it is a call to focus* * Procrastination is always rooted in fear
  45. 45. Good Thing #5 When it is a call to faith* * Faith begins at the point where certainty ends
  46. 46. Terror or exhilaration?
  47. 47. Are people afraid of change?
  48. 48. Worry
  49. 49. Worry is like paying interest on a debt that you probably don’t even owe!
  50. 50. Is it a problem or is it a predicament?
  51. 51. Strategy #2 Make adversity your teacher
  52. 52. Every great accomplishment was once the “impossible dream” of a dreamer who simply refused to quit when things got tough.
  53. 53. Ten Laws of Adversity
  54. 54. Law #1 The rain will fall and bad things will happen to good people – including you
  55. 55. Law #2 Crisis creates opportunity
  56. 56. Law #3 You must pass through the valley of the shadow.
  57. 57. Law #4 Falling on your face is good for your head
  58. 58. Law #5 Whether it’s the best of times or the worst of times is your choice
  59. 59. Law #6 One door closes, another door opens
  60. 60. Law #7 Without the valleys, you won’t appreciate the mountains.
  61. 61. Law #8 There are millions of others who would love to have your problems
  62. 62. Law #9 Dare most when times are darkest.
  63. 63. Law #10 Sometimes you meet the most important people in your life when you are flat on your back.
  64. 64. Don’t forget to laugh.
  65. 65. No matter what happens: Thank God Ahead of Time
  66. 66. Strategy #3 The Janitor in Your Attic™ to erase the malignant echo of negative self-talk 74
  67. 67. Toxic emotional negativity is ALWAYS an outer projection of inner misery… Hence “co-miserate” – to be miserable together.
  68. 68. There is an invisible barrier on the potential of your organization
  69. 69. The collective self-talk, selfimage, and self-belief of your people will either be the wind in your sails or the anchor holding you back.
  70. 70. The Inner Child is shadowed by an Inner Spoiled Brat
  71. 71. The split personality of your Inner Spoiled Brat
  72. 72. The Whiner If only we won the lottery!
  73. 73. The Screamer You don’t deserve to win the lottery!
  74. 74. The most important speech any of us ever give (the one you were never trained to give) is...
  75. 75. What is the first word a child learns to say? 84
  76. 76. For a variety of evolutionary reasons, the human mind automatically gravitates toward negative, frightening and depressing thoughts. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi: The Evolving Self: A Psychology for the New Millennium
  77. 77. Experts refer to ANTs – automatic negative thoughts
  78. 78. Psychologists say that up to 80% of self-talk is negative – and that we can abuse ourselves at a speed of 400 words per minute!
  79. 79. And much of it is below the level of conscious awareness, like graffiti on a subway car: after a while you don’t notice it
  80. 80. You would never tolerate anyone else speaking to you the way you allow your spoiled inner brat to get away with.
  81. 81. A crucial point! That voice will always be in the second person. It’s not you talking!!! 91
  82. 82. What you are hearing is the malignant echo of nasty things said to you long ago that hurt, stuck, and metastasized (that’s what 92
  83. 83. Two steps to using the power of Metaphorical Visualization™ to erase the graffiti of negative self-talk: 93
  84. 84. Step #1 Visualize the words as clearly as you possibly can as graffiti that has been scrawled on the walls of your mental attic. 94
  85. 85. Step #2 Visualize a janitor (The Janitor in Your Attic™) painting over the graffiti and replacing it with positive affirmations. 96
  86. 86. Caveat! For your challenge to your Spoiled Inner Brat to be credible you must also take action if what Brat says is factually accurate. 98
  87. 87. Strategy #4 Make your body play a constructive part in that inner dialogue… 99
  88. 88. How your body tells your mind what to feel…
  89. 89. Watch this TED talk by Amy Cuddy!
  90. 90. How your mouth tells your mind what to think…
  91. 91. An essential lesson from “the best damn ship in the Navy”
  92. 92. Smile from the outside in and you’ll eventually be smiling from the inside out.
  93. 93. Strategy #5 Leave behind the emotional baggage
  94. 94. 109
  95. 95. Strategy #6 Create memories of the future
  96. 96. Do you read your horoscope?
  97. 97. Joe’s Youroscope A breakthrough concept emerges back at the office today. A great day to make a difference, make a friend, and make a decision and...
  98. 98. Joe’s Youroscope (contd.) A great new opportunity will come from out of the blue, but it will be well-disguised – so pay attention and focus, and…
  99. 99. Joe’s Youroscope (contd.) Call your Mom
  100. 100. You can remember the future more clearly and more accurately than you can remember the past. 118
  101. 101. The difference between wishful thinking and positive thinking… 119
  102. 102. Wishful thinking is hoping for something and waiting for someone else to make it happen. 120
  103. 103. Positive thinking is expecting something and working to make it happen. 121
  104. 104. The 6-As for creating Memories of the Future 122
  105. 105. 1. Aspiration You gotta want it – without ambition we would all still be hunting and gathering. 123
  106. 106. 2. Articulation You need to describe your dream in a way that others can see it. 124
  107. 107. 3. Affirmation Because we dream in pictures but we worry in words. 125
  108. 108. 4. Asking The Aladdin Factor is asking the right question of the right person at the right time. 126
  109. 109. 5. Action Action transforms fear into fire; accumulation of many small actions yields big results. 127
  110. 110. 6. Adaptation Because, as von Moltke said, no plan survives contact with the enemy. 128
  111. 111. Wear your Dream next to your heart 129
  112. 112. Five times every morning and two things every day. 130
  113. 113. A Memory of the Future creates healthy cognitive dissonance 131
  114. 114. 132
  115. 115. Strategy #7 Take to heart the seven promises of The Self-Empowerment Pledge™
  116. 116. “I attribute my success to the fact that I never gave or took an excuse.” Florence Nightingale
  117. 117. Seven Simple Promises That Will Change Your Life* * One for each day of the week.
  118. 118. The Pledge is a great way to foster a more empowering culture!
  119. 119. 138
  120. 120. Watch the YouTube video – half of these people are not reading it!
  121. 121. If you knew it would change your life for the better – profoundly and permanently – would you…
  122. 122. Would you give up one television commercial a day for a year?
  123. 123. If your answer is yes, here’s what you need to do.
  124. 124. Every morning start your day by making that day’s promise – which will take you about 15 seconds.
  125. 125. Repeat the promise again in in the middle of your work day.
  126. 126. Once more before you leave for home.
  127. 127. And one more time right before you go to bed.
  128. 128. 4 x 15 seconds = 1 minute
  129. 129. Repeat these promises like you really mean them!
  130. 130. Let’s take a look at the seven promises…
  131. 131. Here’s WHY it works…
  132. 132. You keep promising yourself that you will be responsible, accountable, and determined; make a contribution, be resilient in the face of adversity, have a positive perspective, and that your faith will shine through.
  133. 133. Then you catch yourself whining and complaining, procrastinating, gossipi ng, blaming others for your problems, taking when you should be giving, and pretending that you have no power.
  134. 134. You end up with what psychologists call… Cognitive Dissonance
  135. 135. Which is trying to simultaneously hold two incompatible beliefs
  136. 136. At that point, one of two things MUST happen. Either you take the easy way and stop making the promises…
  137. 137. Or you keep making the promises until you begin to change your attitudes and your behaviors.
  138. 138. And as you do that, you will begin to achieve better results in every dimension of your life.
  139. 139. Read these seven promises one more time…
  140. 140. Now ask yourself these two questions…
  141. 141. Question #1: If you personally were to take these seven promises to heart, would you be better off than where you are headed now – personally, professionally, finan
  142. 142. Question #2: If everyone where you work made a good faith effort to live these seven promises, would you do a better job of serving customers and of supporting each other?
  143. 143. If your answer to these two questions is… And if you’re being honest, that’s what your answer will be.
  144. 144. Then why wouldn’t you invest those 365 minutes in yourself? Do it, because no one can empower you but you.
  145. 145. Will you do it? Will you give up one TV commercial a day… To change your life?
  146. 146. And one last thing…
  147. 147. Think Big 173
  148. 148. Start Small 174
  149. 149. Start Now 175
  150. 150. 176
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