Staying Sane While Raising Your Teen

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Staying Sane While Raising Your Teen

  1. 1. Enter Here for More Information on How and Why Teen Brains are Different
  2. 2. “ Staying Sane While Raising Your Teen” Joanne Neiman, MA, LPC 1634 Walnut Street Boulder, CO 80302 303-442-4676 www.TeenTherapyBoulder.com
  3. 3. Staying Sane While Raising Your Teen <ul><li>Teens Haven’t Changed </li></ul><ul><li>Our understanding of them has changed </li></ul><ul><li>The world has changed </li></ul><ul><li>Faster </li></ul><ul><li>Smaller </li></ul><ul><li>Higher Expectations </li></ul>
  4. 4. Staying Sane While Raising Your Teen <ul><li>They’re still . . . </li></ul><ul><li>Funny </li></ul><ul><li>Smart </li></ul><ul><li>Wonderful </li></ul><ul><li>Curious </li></ul><ul><li>Interesting </li></ul>
  5. 5. Staying Sane While Raising Your Teen <ul><li>They’re still . . . </li></ul><ul><li>Jekyll and Hyde </li></ul><ul><li>Unpredictable </li></ul><ul><li>Infuriating </li></ul><ul><li>Aggravating </li></ul>
  6. 6. Staying Sane While Raising Your Teen <ul><li>Increased school responsibility </li></ul><ul><li>Increased social complexity </li></ul><ul><li>Emotional and social change </li></ul><ul><li>Physical changes </li></ul>Sudden Shock of Human Experience
  7. 7. Staying Sane While Raising Your Teen <ul><li>Teens Have New Feelings </li></ul><ul><li>Insecurity </li></ul><ul><li>Vulnerability </li></ul><ul><li>Confusion </li></ul><ul><li>Sadness </li></ul><ul><li>Hostility </li></ul><ul><li>Self-esteem issues </li></ul>
  8. 8. Staying Sane While Raising Your Teen <ul><li>Tumultuous period of time </li></ul><ul><li>No instruction manual </li></ul><ul><li>No two teens are alike </li></ul><ul><li>Who has it harder – teens or parents? </li></ul>
  9. 9. Staying Sane While Raising Your Teen <ul><li>How we relate to teens is now different because of what we have been able to learn about the developing brain. </li></ul>
  10. 10. Staying Sane While Raising Your Teen <ul><li>Behavioral view </li></ul><ul><li>Over-emphasis on hormones </li></ul><ul><li>Couldn’t examine the brain </li></ul><ul><li>We can now see the brain in action </li></ul>Historically We’ve Made Assumptions
  11. 11. Staying Sane While Raising Your Teen <ul><li>What We Now Know </li></ul><ul><li>New Information/Research </li></ul><ul><li>Plasticity </li></ul><ul><li>Brain is Dynamic/Constantly Changing </li></ul><ul><li>Sensitive to Environment and Experiences </li></ul>
  12. 12. Staying Sane While Raising Your Teen <ul><li>The Teen Brain </li></ul><ul><li>“ Work in Progress” </li></ul><ul><li>Adolescence Longer </li></ul><ul><li>Growth Spurt in “Thinking Brain” – Frontal Lobe </li></ul><ul><li>Changes in Complexity & Density of Neurons </li></ul>
  13. 13. Staying Sane While Raising Your Teen <ul><li>The Teen Brain </li></ul><ul><li>Learning to Operate Efficiently </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Pruning of Neurons </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Increase in Myelin </li></ul></ul><ul><li>“ Use It or Lose It” </li></ul>
  14. 14. Staying Sane While Raising Your Teen <ul><li>Growth in “Thinking Brain” </li></ul><ul><li>Frontal Cortex </li></ul><ul><li>Executive Functioning </li></ul><ul><li>Brain’s CEO </li></ul><ul><li>Ideas Conceived </li></ul><ul><li>Plans Constructed </li></ul>
  15. 15. Staying Sane While Raising Your Teen <ul><li>Frontal Cortex </li></ul><ul><li>Puts brakes on </li></ul><ul><li>Pause button </li></ul><ul><li>Sees all possibilities </li></ul><ul><li>Can hold ideas and manipulate them </li></ul><ul><li>Ability to change one’s mind </li></ul>
  16. 16. Staying Sane While Raising Your Teen <ul><li>Teens Have Difficulty With </li></ul><ul><li>Judgment </li></ul><ul><li>Impulse control </li></ul><ul><li>Insight </li></ul>
  17. 17. Staying Sane While Raising Your Teen <ul><li>Teens Have Difficulty With </li></ul><ul><li>Organizing </li></ul><ul><li>Long-term planning </li></ul><ul><li>Seeing future consequences </li></ul>
  18. 18. Staying Sane While Raising Your Teen <ul><li>Limbic – Emotional Brain </li></ul><ul><li>Emotions often erratic/unpredictable </li></ul><ul><li>More primitive – instinctual </li></ul><ul><li>“ Gut reactions” </li></ul>Teens Process Emotions Differently
  19. 19. Staying Sane While Raising Your Teen <ul><li>Limbic – Emotional Brain </li></ul><ul><li>Operate from brain’s “alarm system” </li></ul><ul><li>Not able to piece together thoughts and feelings </li></ul>Teens Process Emotions Differently
  20. 20. Staying Sane While Raising Your Teen <ul><li>Unable to accurately identify emotions in others </li></ul><ul><li>Emotions may not be consciously understood or experienced </li></ul>Teens Process Emotions Differently
  21. 21. Staying Sane While Raising Your Teen <ul><li>Additional Challenges </li></ul><ul><li>Risk Taking </li></ul><ul><li>Depression </li></ul><ul><li>Sleep </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Melatonin </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>REM </li></ul></ul>
  22. 22. Staying Sane While Raising Your Teen <ul><li>Help your teen exercise their brain </li></ul><ul><li>Help them work out solutions </li></ul><ul><li>Help them see possibilities </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t just tell your teen what to do </li></ul>What is a parent to do?
  23. 23. Staying Sane While Raising Your Teen <ul><li>Always: It’s about the relationship </li></ul><ul><li>Look for opening and opportunities to connect </li></ul><ul><li>Even the small moments matter </li></ul><ul><li>Learn to “read” your teen </li></ul>What is a parent to do?
  24. 24. Staying Sane While Raising Your Teen <ul><li>Don’t hold then too tightly, or too loosely </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t sweat the small stuff </li></ul>Helping Your Teen Imagine Who They Could Be
  25. 25. Staying Sane While Raising Your Teen <ul><li>Advise and Guide </li></ul><ul><li>Let them be different from you </li></ul><ul><li>Encourage them to try new things </li></ul>Helping Your Teen Imagine Who They Could Be
  26. 26. Staying Sane While Raising Your Teen <ul><li>“ There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. </li></ul><ul><li>One of these is roots, the other is wings.” </li></ul><ul><li>- Hodding Carter </li></ul>

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