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Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
Conflict Management Seminar Workbook
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Conflict Management Seminar Workbook

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This is the workbook that I handed out to accompany the seminar.

This is the workbook that I handed out to accompany the seminar.

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  • 1. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 1 Conflict Management
  • 2. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 2 Conflict Consulting Team • Ohireime Oiseomoede Ojeomogha [OJ] Resident Assistant at California State University Sacramento and San Bernardino BA in Organizational Communication California State University Sacramento: May 2006 MA in Human Resource Organization Development: Azusa Pacific University: December 2009 • Jessica England Undergraduate Admissions Counselor, Azusa Pacific University BA in Business Administration, Azusa Pacific University: May 2007 MA in HR & Organizational Development, Azusa Pacific University: December 2011 Conflict is simply a reality.
  • 3. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 3 Table of Contents Conflict Management Seminar Goals 4 Objectives 4 Conflict Exercise 5 What is Conflict; Understanding Options 7 Thomas Kilman Conflict Resolution Grid 9 Conflict Engagement Styles 13 Lens of Understanding 14 Position-based Conflict Management 17 Go Below the Line 18 Interest-based Conflict Management 19 Action Plan 20 Recap 21 Conflict Styles Survey 22 Personal Notes 37 Resources 38
  • 4. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 4 Conflict Management Seminar Goals: • This seminar can be used as an employee development tool for understanding how to work more effectively with different types of personalities, specifically where conflicts are likely to arise. • Conflict management skills can be applied in the work place incorporating all levels of employees and management. • The skills can be transferable to the enrichment of relationships inside and outside of the workplace. • Teaches how to deal with conflict by identifying intent, motive, and behavior. Rayner and Keashley Objectives: calculate that in an organization • Define conflict and conflict management. of 1,000 • Understand how people instinctively react to conflict. people, if 25% • Recognize you have a choice in your response. • Identify your conflict style and interpret it based on of those bullied individual circumstances. leave, the • Comprehend the “Lens of Understanding.” replacement • Be able to classify your’s and other people’s conflict cost is $20,000 engagement style. • Build an action plan based on your goal for listening, and the annual speaking, and understanding within the conflict. cost is • Figure out how to find common interests in order to resolve the disagreement.
  • 5. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 5 Conflict Exercise: • Split into groups of five people. • Spend three minutes trying to resolve the conflict. • Each group member should choose a personality response/role. [person named in scenario, conflict resolution manager, confrontational and opinionated, complainer, non-responder, disagree with everything, etc] Scenarios for Three Teams: • Scenario 1: Jerry the supervisor of the finance and accounting department at company AXY is currently in a relationship with his subordinate Cheryl. It is no secret that the two have been recently dating and although the organization frowns on fraternizing there is no strict policy against it. There is no word via the grape vine that the relationship between Cheryl and Jerry, has given her an advantage in getting information about developmental opportunities as well as easy assignments. Cheryl is at a loss at why her colleagues are hostile towards her and the general moral at the finance and accounting department is down.
  • 6. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 6 Scenarios for Three Teams: • Scenario 2: Bill is unimpressed with the hostile environment and he believes that the people around him play a role in creating that environment. He usually communicates on a weekly basis with his personal coach Tim as a way to reduce his stress. Frustrated with the events of Tuesday, Bill sends an email to his coach naming and complaining about the people in his work environment. However, he accidentally pushes “send all” and it circulates to all the employees including management. The next day he arrives at work and is called in by Sarah his manager. She made copies of the comments he thought he had sent to only his coach. • Scenario 3: Diversity training is done every year at Biggs based in Los Angeles and is seen by the organization to give them a strategic advantage. The diversity trainer, a recent graduate from an Ivy League school, began the training by playing videos, running case scenarios, and other diversity tools. He seemed confident in his training. However, as soon as he left, issues of differences arouse. Conflict became the norm and employees who were a part of the diversity training accused each other about their ignorance and prejudice. The CEO David Biggswell wants the issues resolved quickly because productivity is at an all time low and he fears more problems may arise.
  • 7. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 7 What is Conflict? • Conflict is neither a necessary evil nor a signal of defeat. It is simply a reality. Wherever there are people there is conflict. The real issue is not to avoid it, but learn how to manage it. • Conflict: When two or more people attempt to occupy the same space at the same time: physically, emotionally, or intellectually. Initial / Instinctive Reactions to Conflict: • Fight • Freeze • Flight Understanding Options Exercise: Connect all of the dots below without lifting your pen. ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙
  • 8. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 8 Understanding Options Exercise Answer: ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ *∙ ∙ ∙ Two other creative options: 1.____________________________________ 2.____________________________________ Opportunity or Danger: • Conflicts arise over facts, methods, values, and goals. • If you choose resentment: it’s like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.
  • 9. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 9 Your Choice: We can choose to respond to conflict in the following manners: • A_____________ • A_____________ • C_____________ • C_____________ • C_____________ Thomas Kilman Conflict Resolution Grid: • How a person responds to conflict depends on the value placed on the relationship, mercy, justice, the issue at hand and interests. Compete Collaborate Researcher Charlotte Achievement of Own Interest Rayner and Loraleigh Keashley estimate Need for Justice Value of Issue that 25% of victims Compromise and 20% of witnesses of bullying leave their jobs, compared to a typical rate of 5%. Avoid Accommodate Value of Relationship Importance Placed on Mercy Response to Other’s Interest
  • 10. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 10 Avoid: Do I avoid it or do something about it? • Most commonly used style of conflict management. • Depends on the value of the relationship vs. the value of the issue. • The conflict will typically resurface: o ____________________________ o ____________________________ o ____________________________ • Avoiding takes less effort in the short-run, but has the longest life-expectancy, with the most cost. • Increases ________________ level. • Results in ________________ interactions. • Fosters low _______________. • Reasons why avoiding the issue may be a good option: o ____________________________ o ____________________________ o ____________________________ Notes: _________________________________ _________________________________ _________________________________ _________________________________ _________________________________ _____________________
  • 11. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 11 Accommodate: The value of the relationship is the only thing that matters. • The person who cares the least typically has the most power. • Example of battered spouses’ response to question. • When is it appropriate: o When the issues are unimportant compared to the value of the relationship. o When you are clearly in the wrong. A study of National • When is it inappropriate: o Manipulation when there is a high need for Hockey League games acceptance. played between 1987 o Belief that accommodation will allow for needs to and 1992 showed be met. that the more fights o Breeds irresponsibility. teams were in, the more games they lost. Compete: There is very high concern for personal interests or needs. • Willing to damage or destroy the relationship for the issue. • Goal may not be to harm others, but willing to sacrifice whatever is necessary to achieve personal goals. • Competition requires: o ____________________________________ o ____________________________________ o ____________________________________ • Appropriate: o ____________________________________ o ____________________________________
  • 12. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 12 Compromise: Tolerance is key! • To some degree both positions are maintained and lost. • Neither side is completely satisfied, but it works. • When is it appropriate: o No evil intent is involved. o Difficult to determine a clear-cut solution. o Causes the least amount of harm to the relationship. Collaborate: .Requires skill in managing conflict. • Seeks to preserve both the relationship and th value of People want to be the issue at hand. heard. • Not all issues are worth “going to the mat.” • Used when teamwork is more productive than compromise or competition. • Sincere effort to work with others for a mutually satisfactory solution. • Problem: o May be more interested in individual’s interest than the company’s. o Tends to overlook underlying factors causing the conflict. • Not always possible or even desirable o Some parties simply do not care about or expect a future relationship. Notes:_________________________________ _____________________________________ _______________________________
  • 13. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 13 Conflict Engagement Styles: There are 10 specific behavior patterns that sane people resort to when they feel threatened or thwarted, that represent their struggle with or withdrawal from undesired circumstances. • Tank: confrontational, pointed, angry, ultimately pushy and aggressive behavior towards others. • Sniper: employs the use of rude comments, biting sarcasm or well-timed eye roll, and in the end makes you look foolish. • Grenade: brief period of calm, explodes into unfocused ranting and raving with things typically unrelated to the present work circumstances. • Know-it-all: seldom in doubt; low tolerance when corrected or contradicted and blames others when things go wrong. • Think-they-know-it-all: primarily seeking the attention of others and unlike the know-it-all cannot fool people all the time. • Yes Person: avoids confrontation, typically over commits to work task and can’t accomplish it all because of time constraints. • Maybe Person: procrastinates and waits in the hopes of getting a better choice, but in the end decision makes itself. • Nothing Person: worse than the maybe person he/she gives no feedback. • No Person: mild mannered…fights a never ending battle for futility, hopelessness and despair. • Whiner: complains about everything…seem helpless, overwhelmed and not measuring up to their standards of perfection.
  • 14. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 14 Lens of Understanding: Understanding helps you communicate effectively, prevent future conflict, and resolve current conflict before it gets out of hand. • Observe the level of assertiveness: o Passive to aggressive. • Patterns to what people focus on in any given situation: o Task vs. people • Figure out the motive: o Get the __________ Done o Get the __________ Right o Get Along with _____________ o Get Appreciation from ___________ • Identify the behaviors: o Based on top-priority in any moment of time. o When the intent isn’t being fulfilled, and there is fear that it won’t be completed with the original intent, the person’s behavior changes and becomes one of the following:  Controlling  Perfectionist  Approval Seeking  Attention Getting • Threatened Intent turns into an extreme behavior: o Tank, Sniper, Grenade, Know-it-all, Think-they-know-it-all, Yes Person, Maybe Person, Nothing Person, No Person, or Whiner.
  • 15. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 15 Task Focus A sser t iv en ess & F ocu s Passive vs. Aggressive Task vs. People Passive Normal Zone Aggressive People Focus Task Focus M ot iv es Get it Right Get It Right Get It Done Get it Done Get Along Passive Normal Zone Aggressive Get Appreciated Get Get Along Appreciated People Focus
  • 16. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 16 Task Focus B eh a v ior s Gray Zone of Gray Zone Behaviors: Perfectionist Controlling Perfectionist Controlling Get It Right Get It Done Approval Seeking Passive Normal Zone Aggressive Attention Getting Get Get Along Appreciated Approval Attention Seeking Getting Behaviors People Focus Task Focus Thwarted Intent Extreme Behaviors: WHINER Gray Zone TANK SNIPER NO Tank, Sniper, Person KNOW- KNOW- Grenade, Know-it-all, NOTHING Perfectionist Controlling IT-ALL IT- Think-they-know-it- Person Get It Right Get It Done all, Yes Person, Passive Normal Zone Aggressive Maybe Person, Nothing Person, No NOTHING Person Get Along Get Appreciated GRENADE Person, Whiner Approval YES Seeking Attention Getting Person SNIPER MAYBE Behaviors THINK-THEY- THINK- THEY- Person KNOW-IT-ALL KNOW- IT- People Focus
  • 17. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 17 Position-based Conflict Management: When people differ they usually identify an ___________ over which they differ and take a ___________________ on it. • One or both sides can walk away, perhaps ____________ the conflict. • One or both sides can _____________________, thereby eliminating the conflict. • One or both sides can ________________, which escalates the conflict. • One or both sides can _____________________ their position, perhaps tempering the conflict. • Both sides can give the dispute to someone else for a decision which will decide the matter but which may Jerk-O-Meter is a not resolve the conflict. device invented by Anmol Maden that uses electronic speech No Solution analysis to provide End of Relationship instant feedback to Escalate Escalate the person speaking on factors including Position Issue Position stress, empathy, and (Conflict) overall jerk factor. Interests Interests
  • 18. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 18 Go Below the Line • The focus of positional-based conflict management is __________________________ / _______________________________________. • In a collaborative, consensual process, the key is to bring interests into the discussion… to ________________________________________! • Moving from __________________ to _________________ gives the freedom to ________________________________________. People aren’t No Solution End of Relationship completely rational; don’t ignore Escalate Escalate emotions. Position Issue Position (Conflict) Interests Interests Maintain Relationship Conflict Resolved
  • 19. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 19 Interest-based Conflict Management: • The focus moves from the ______________ to the _________________________. • Allows potential for: o Developing better, more satisfying agreements. o Creating greater commitment to an agreement. o Strengthening the parties’ relationships. o Creating greater organizational effectiveness. The Shift: PROBLEM Address problems not personalities. ISSUE
  • 20. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 20 Action Plan: How do you learn to understand and be understood: • Listen with the intent of understanding: o Blend visibly & audibly. o Backtrack some of their words. o Clarify meaning. o Summarize what you heard. o Confirm to see if you are correct. • Speak with the intent to be understood: o Monitor your tone of voice. o State a positive intent. P.O.A. o Tactfully interrupt any interruptions. o Tell your side in truth. o Be ready to listen again. • Reach a deeper understanding by identifying _________________ and ___________________. • P.E.: ______________ and _______________ the best of others. Notes: _____________________________________ _____________________________________ _____________________________________ _____________________________________ _____________________________________ _____________________________________ _____________________________________ _____________________________________ ___________________
  • 21. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 21 Recap: • Conflict is simply a reality when two or more people attempt to occupy the same space at the same time: o Physically. o Emotionally. o Intellectually. • Fight, Freeze, or Flight. • Conflict represents opportunity and danger. • Thomas Kilman Conflict Resolution Grid: o Avoid. o Accommodate. o Compete. o Compromise. o Collaborate. • Conflict Engagement Styles: o Tank, Sniper, Grenade, Know-it-all, Think-they- know-it-all, Yes Person, Maybe Person, Nothing Person, No Person, and Whiner. • The Dr.’s Rick: Lens of Understanding. o Assertiveness and focus. o Motives. o Behaviors. o Thwarted Intentions. • Move from Position-based to Interest-based Conflict Management: GO BELOW THE LINE! • Devise a Plan of Action: o Listen to understand. o Speak to be understood. o Project and expect the best of others.
  • 22. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 22 CONFLICT STYLES SURVEY Norman Shawchuch, Ph.D. (1983) Read Carefully… In your organization you are active in one or more committees, groups or departments which are responsible for significant programs. The group(s) to which you belong must meet regularly to make decisions. In addition, all group members must assume responsibilities for carrying out the decisions. Following are twelve situations you encounter; in some of the situations you are the group’s leader, in others you are not the leader. For each situation you have five possible behavioral responses. Please study each situation and the possible responses carefully, then CIRCLE THE LETTER OF THE RESPONSE which you think would most closely describe your behavioral response to the situation. As you complete the survey, please remember this is NOT a test. There are no right or wrong responses. The survey will be helpful to you only to the extent that you circle the responses which would be most characteristic of your conflict management behavior in that particular situation. CIRLE ONLY ONE CHOICE FOR EACH SITUATION!
  • 23. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 23 SITUATION NO 1: YOU HEAD A TASK FORCE APPOINTED TO PLAN A LARGE CONFERENCE. ONE MEMBER HAS IDEAS VERY DIFFERENT FROM THOSE SUPPORSTED BY THE REST OF THE GROUP. HE/SHE REFUSES TO GIVE IN EVEN A LITTLE BIT. TIME IS RUNNING OUT. You would: (Circle one) A. Meet privately with the differing member to let him know you were not angry because of his/ her position and encourage him/ her; for the sake of future relationships to become more flexible. B. Ask the differing member to state why his/ her ideas would result in a better conference. If he/ she was unable to convince the group you would urge him/ her to go along with the group’s plan. C. State that as leader of the group you do not want to make a unilateral decision, and call for a secret vote on the two plans. D. Point out that much time had been spent in an attempt to resolve the differences and, since the majority of the group was in agreement; move ahead with the group’s plan. E. Ask the differing member to list points of disagreement with the group’s plan, and to define why his/ her ideas would result in a better conference. Then you would provide a process for the group to reevaluate its own plan in light of the information.
  • 24. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 24 SITUATION NO 2: FROM YOUR POINT OF VIEW THE CHARIPERSON OF YOUR COMMITTEE HAS INAPPROPRIATELY USED HIS/ HER POSITION TO INFLUENCE A DECISION WITH WHICH YOU STRONGLY DISAGREE. You would: (Circle one) A. Point out your perceptions to the group encouraging others to also reflect on the process by which the decision was reached. Press for policies to prohibit future inappropriate use of the chair’s position. B. Let the chairperson railroad the decision and simply let the group live with the results, since they allowed the chairperson such freedom. C. Challenge the inappropriate behavior of the chairperson and move for a recall of the decision. D. State your perceptions and ask the chairperson to defend the behavior. If after the defense you were still convince the chair’s position had been used to influence the decision, you would move for a recall of the decision. E. Rather than putting the chairperson “on the spot” in front of the group, you would bite your tongue and keep your feelings to yourself.
  • 25. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 25 SITUATION NO 3: YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR A PROGRAM WHICH IS STRONGLY SUPPORTED THROUGHOUT THE ORGANIZATION, YOU HAVE ANNOUNCED YOUR PLANS FOR THE COMING YEAR AND ARE BEING STRONGLY OPPOSED BY ANOTHER GROUP WHOSE OWN PROGRAM HAS PROVEN INEFFECTIVE. You would: (Circle one) A. Prepare convincing information to support the need for your program ideas, communicate this to the entire organization, and proceed with your program as planned. B. Feel your long-term relationship with the opposing group was more important than your program plans, and withdraw your plans. C. Welcome the conflict as an opportunity to identify shared concerns and goals, and to promote better working relationships with the opposing group. D. Attempt to find a solution that everyone could live with, by asking for an opinion by the top officials. E. Meet with the group to explain your rationale for planning your program, inquire into the reason for their opposition, and seek middle ground agreements.
  • 26. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 26 SITUATION NO 4: YOUR GROUP HAS MET OFTEN TO WORK ON PLANS FOR THE COMING YEAR. THERE IS MUCH DISAGREEMENT BETWEEN CERTAIN MEMBERS. YOU ARE AWARE CONFLICT IS BREWING. You would: (Circle one) A. Encourage the group to settle their differences so they might not interfere with the planning. B. Instruct the parties to get the differences out on the table in order that the entire group might search for mutually acceptable solutions. C. Tell them they don’t have to like each other, but they must work together to get the planning done. D. Reduce the tensions by allowing more time for informal conversation and schedule more breaks during the meetings to allow persons to get away from the work for a few minutes. E. Try to avoid open confrontation by sensing where persons are in relation to the issues and steering the discussion to consider middle ground alternatives.
  • 27. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 27 SITUATION NO 5: YOU SERVE ON A STAFF OF THREE PERSONS. THE HEAD OF THE STAFF IS INSENSITIVE AND AUTOCRATIC. THE OTHER MEMBER IS VERY ANGRY. IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE HOSTILITIES WILL OCCUR BETWEEN THEM. You would: (Circle one) A. Tell them their behavior is interfering with staff effectiveness, insisting they lay their personal animosities aside and begin putting their energies activity. B. Remain silent whenever they begin to argue, hoping they would work it out, or that the angry staff member would be able to fend for him/ herself. C. Encourage them to lay their hostilities aside since conflict of this intensity might leave deep personal scars. D. Try to avoid outright, hostile confrontation by emphasizing the need to reach agreement on roles and responsibilities that everyone could live with. E. Share your observations of their behavior, ask each of them to state their own opinions, and press for a redefinition of working relationships to reduce the hostilities.
  • 28. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 28 SITUATION NO 6: AFTER MUCH CONFLICT, TWO GROUPS WITHIN THE CONGRRGATION HAVE DEADLOCKED OVER PROPOSED USE OF SOME OF THE CHURCH BUILDING. YOU HAVE BEEN REQUESTING TO MEET WITH THEM TO ASSIST IN BREAKING THE DEADLOCK. You would: (Circle one) A. Consider both sides of the agreement before stating your solution to the problem. B. Encourage an open airing of their feelings and attempt to get the group to decide on a compromise plan everyone could live with. C. Encourage them to work through their differences, being careful not to cause unnecessary pain for themselves or the congregation. D. Remind them that as an “outsider” you actually could do very little to solve the problem, but you were willing to help in whatever way you could. E. Lead a process to allow airing of the differences, and to search for a naturally satisfactory alternative.
  • 29. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 29 SITUATION NO 7: INFLUENTIAL MEMBERS HAVE BECOME DISSATISFIED WITH YOUR LEADERSHIP AND ARE INSISTING YOU RESIGN. SOME ARE THREATENING TO LEAVE IF YOU DO NOT. OTHERS ARE SUPPORTING YOUPRIVATELY, BUT ARE TAKING NO PUBLIC STAND. You would: (Circle one) A. Inform the group you have no intention of resigning, and you want an open airing of the grievances in order that some middle ground may be reached. B. Assume the public silence of some members indicates consent, and not wanting this group to lose any members; you would resign. C. Determine the number demanding your resignation, and of your silent supporters. Having decided the majority was not calling for your resignation, you would announce your intention to stay. D. Go to those opposing you to tell them you still care about them, and do whatever you could to restore good relationships. E. Arrange a meeting with your opponents and supporters to discuss and search for ways to reduce the tensions and restore working relationships.
  • 30. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 30 SITUATION NO 8: YOUR SECRETARY, A RESPECTED MEMBER OF YOUR CHURCH, HAS WORKED FOR YOU FOR ONE YEAR. THE QUALITY OF WORK IS VERY UNSATISFACTORY. YOU ARE GETTING A GROWING NUMBER OF COMPLAINTS. You would: (Circle one) A. Encourage your secretary to identify anything in the office situation that may be adding to the problem, and agree upon steps to correct the situation. B. Increase compliments for task satisfactory done gently pointing out trouble spots. C. Live with the situation a while longer, hoping your secretary would begin to catch on to the office work. D. Point out the problems with work performance, and if after a reasonable time it was still unsatisfactory, you would fire him/ her. E. State your disapproval with the performance asking for your secretary’s help to outline areas in which change was necessary, and steps to bring about improved performance.
  • 31. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 31 SITUATION NO 9: YOUR GROUP IS CARRYING ON A VERY EFFECTIVE PROGRAM. SOME MEMBERS ARE ADVOCATING CERTAIN CHANGES BUT OTHERS ARE DECLARING THE CHANGES WILL WEAKEN THE PROGRAM. TENSIONS ARE RISING. YOU HAVE NO STRONG FEELINGS EITHER WAY. You would: (Circle one) A. Encourage the group to settle their differences, being careful no one is hurt in the process. B. Listen to all sides of the issue before deciding what steps to take to resolve the conflict. C. Keep the opposing groups from outright confrontation by suggesting middle of the road alternatives. If this failed, you would establish ground rules for avoiding deadlocks. D. Bring the opposing sides together, define the issues as you see them, and suggest a process for resolving the conflict. E. Allow the group to settle the matter on its own.
  • 32. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 32 SITUATION NO 10: A CLOSE FRIEND WITH WHOM YOU WORK WITH IS PUSHING FOR A DECISION WHICH YOU BELIEVE IS POTENTIALLY DAMAGING TO THE WORK OF THE ENTIRE ORGANIZATION. You would: (Circle one) A. Demonstrate your happiness with his/ her position by refusing to discuss the matter at all. B. Refrain from stating how strongly you disagree, hoping he/ she would change without being pushed to do so. C. Openly express your position on the matter attempting to negotiate a position both of you could live with. D. State your position on the matter attempting to negotiate a position both of you could live with. E. State exactly why you think his/ her position is unreasonable and dangerous, urging him/ her to change the position.
  • 33. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 33 SITUATION NO 11: YOU ARE A MEMBER OF A TASK FORCE APPOINTED TO PLAN A LARGE CONFERENCE. YOU HAVE IDEAS VERY DIFFERENT FROM THE REST OF THE GROUP, AND ARE CONVINCED YOUR PLAN WILL RESULT IN A BETTER CONFERENCE. You would: (Circle one) A. Disagree but not argue since you are one against many. Neither would you feel obligated to publicly support their plan. B. Encourage the group to review both plans, identify points of agreement and disagreement, and press for alternatives to reflect the best features of both. C. Use all of the influence you had in the group to get your ideas incorporated into the final plan. D. Outline your disagreements with the group’s ideas and offer to join with them in building a compromise plan. E. Go along with their ideas not wanting to block the group’s work simply because you were not personally pleased with their plan.
  • 34. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 34 SITUATION NO 12: YOU HEAD A COMMITTEE WHOSE EFFECTIVENESS DEPENDS UPON THE COOPERATION OF ANOTHER GROUP ENGAGED IN POWER AND AUTHORITYSTRUGGLES WITH TOP LEADERS. THE CONFLICT IS AFFECTING THEIR PROGRAM, AND YOURS. You would: (Circle one) A. Bring all the parties together to discuss the situation, seeing to it that the needs of your group were included in any agreement which was negotiated between the other group and top leaders. B. Strengthen your relationship with the other group by expressing understanding of their position, while at the same time being careful not to hurt the relationships with top leaders. C. Stay out of the conflict by structuring your program to be less dependent upon the support of the other group. D. Bring the parties together to explain how the conflict was affecting your own program, and offer to mediate a mutually acceptable resolution to the conflict. E. Meet with the group to point out that your own program was being adversely affected by their conflict with the top leaders, and press for immediate solutions to the problem.
  • 35. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 35 HOW TO SCORES THE SURVEY OF YOUR CONFLICT STYLES… Order and Range of Style Preferences 1. On FIGURE 1, circle the same letter for each situation that you circled in your survey. (This designates the CONFLICT STYLE you chose for each situation.) 2. TOTAL the number of choices (circles) for each CONFLICT STYLE and enter the sub-totals in the spaces provided for these SCORES. 3. Transfer these scores onto the SCORE column of FIGURE 2, in descending order of magnitude. FIGURE 2 now provides you with two important insights into your conflict behavior: 1. A rank ordering of your CONFLICT STYLES PREFERENCES. The style receiving the highest score is the style you prefer most, etc. 2. The RANGE OF STYLES, or number of styles, you are able and / or willing to utilize. These two pieces of information say something about your general philosophy and orientation toward conflict. For example, the style receiving the highest scores will tend to be your preferred conflict behavior, the style with which you feel the latest tension. The style receiving the second highest scores will tend to be the style you will “fall back on” as the conflict tensions increase. The number of times you chose each style suggests the strength of preference you give to each style.
  • 36. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 36 SITUATIONS RESPONSE CHOICES #1 E A C D B #2 A E B C D #3 C B D A E #4 B D A C E #5 E C B A D #6 E C D A B #7 E D B C A #8 A B C D E #9 D A E B C #10 C B A E D #11 B E A C D #12 D B C E A SCORES Accommodating Collaborating Compromise Competing Avoiding CONFLICT STYLES Figure 1 ORDER OF YOUR STYLE PREFERENCES CHOICE STYLE SCORE 1ST 2ND 3RD 4TH 5TH Figure 2
  • 37. Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 37 Personal Notes: _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _____________________________
  • 38. Personal Notes: Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 38 ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Knowledge is ______________________________________________________ power. Francis Bacon ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Resources ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Lowry, R.L. & Meyers, R.W. (1991). Conflict Management and Couselign (Resources for ______________________________________________________ Chrsitian Counseling). Nashville: W ______________________________________________________ Publishing Group. ____________________________ Brinkman, R. & Kirschner R. (2004). Dealing With People You Can’t Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst. San Francisco: McGraw-Hill Companies. Sutton, R.I. (2007). The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn’t. Canada: Sphere. Robbins, S.P. (2002). The Truth About Managing People…And Nothing But the Truth. Boston: FT Press.

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