What is Conﬂict?
• What is conﬂict?
• Have you had any lately?
• What causes conﬂict?
• It's in you, you’re own desire to be like God
and to follow the sinful nature...
• What causes ﬁghts and quarrels among you?
Don't they come from your desires that
battle within you? You want something but
don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot
have what you want. You quarrel and ﬁght.You
do not have, because you do not ask God.
When you ask, you do not receive, because
you ask with wrong motives, that you may
spend what you get on your pleasures.
Dealing with Conﬂict
• Is it OK to have conﬂict?
• Well, it has to be, it's hard to avoid!
• It’s how we handle the conﬂict that shows
our maturity in Christ.
• How does God wants us to handle conﬂict?
• Jesus wasn't afraid of conﬂict
• Jesus entered the temple area and drove out
all who were buying and selling there. He
overturned the tables of the money changers
and the benches of those selling doves.
• Jesus wants us to be like him, the prince of
peace, but not by avoiding conﬂict...
• He wants us to address conﬂict head on, as
Conﬂict into Peace?
• Matthew 5:9
• Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God
• So how do we turn conﬂict into peace?
• How do we bring order to chaos?
• God has a knack for doing this (Genesis 1)
Put Peace Into Practice
• Let’s look at some applicable things
you can do to confront with peace
• All of these examples are based on Biblical
principals, but you can use them in your
everyday interaction with people
• MySpace comments, talking with your
teachers or parents, friends, etc.
Love Your Enemies
• The Bible calls us to love our enemies
• But how do we do that?
• This verse tells us how!
• The other suggestions are based on loving
our enemies when arguments arise
• That’s how you resolve conﬂict!
But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies,
do good to those who hate you, bless those who
curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him
the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not
stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone
who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to
you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you
would have them do to you.
Stop Your First Reaction
• If your ﬁrst reaction is to lash back at the
person giving the criticism, or to become
defensive, take a minute before reacting
• Take a deep breath
• Give it a little thought.
• We all can get angry when criticized because
our emotions ﬂy faster than our logic.
Cool Off & Respond
• Cooling off time allows me to give it a little
more thought beyond the initial reaction.
• It allows logic to step in, past the emotion.
• Emotion is good, but negative emotions can
cause more harm than good.
• Let your emotions run their course,
and then respond when you are calmer.
• 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy,
it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not
rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily
angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
• Ecclesiastes 7:9
Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit,
for anger resides in the lap of fools.
Into a Positive
• One of the keys to success in anything...
• Find positive things in things that most
people see as a negative
• There is always a nugget of truth in what
people say if you can strip away the gunk.
• The person may be having a bad day or
doesn't know Christ.
• 1 Corinthians 13:6-7
• Love does not delight in evil but rejoices
with the truth. It always protects, always
trusts, always hopes, always perseveres
• So ﬁnd the truth in every situation
and how you can use that to adapt
Be The Better Person
• Too many times we take criticism as a
personal attack, as an insult to who we are.
• Take it as a criticism of your actions,
not your person.
• If you do that, you can detach yourself from
the criticism emotionally and see what
should be done objectively.
Whack Back Attack. Ack!
• Our natural response to personal criticism
is to attack back.
• I’m not going to let ‘em talk to me that way!
• If criticized in public you feel more inclined
to defend yourself, and attack the attacker.
• Right? Wrong!
• By attacking the attacker,
you are stooping to their level.
• By responding, you give their words power.
• Even if the person was mean or rude,
you don’t have to be the same way.
• You don’t have to commit the same sins.
Rise To The Challenge
• Be the better person.
• If you can rise above the petty insults and
attacks, and respond in a calm and positive
manner to the meet of the criticism, you
will be the better person.
• Not just look better, but become better!
• Do not repay anyone evil for evil.
• Be careful to it iswhat is rightfar theiteyes of
depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
• Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave
room for God’s wrath, for it is written:
• “Itsaysmine Lord. I will repay”
• On the contrary:
• If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
• If he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
• In doing this, you will heap burning coals on
• Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome
evil with good.
Throw Your Weight
• Take the higher ground and win your
enemies to Christ simply by your actions...
• Doing this is like the martial arts called
“Judo” where you use a person's
movements or weight against them.
• You may have noticed this technique during
our pummeling game!
• “Vengeance may break their spirit;
but kindness will break their heart”
• The Chinese word for crisis is two symbols
Danger and Opportunity
• Be used by God by how you handle conﬂict
• Be a Son of God
• Read Titus!
• This my second favorite book of the Bible
• Ecclesiastes is my ﬁrst...
• I put these verses on the next slides
to for reference. Read them!
An elder must be blameless, the husband of
but one wife, a man whose children believe
and are not open to the charge of being wild
and disobedient. Since an overseer is entrusted
with God's work, he must be blameless—not
overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to
drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing
Rather he must be hospitable, one who loves
what is good, who is self-controlled, upright,
holy and disciplined. He must hold ﬁrmly to the
trustworthy message as it has been taught, so
that he can encourage others by sound
doctrine and refute those who oppose it.