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Tuesdays with morrie

  1. 1. Tuesdays With MorrieTuesdays with Morrie An old man, a young man, and life’s greatest lesson Mitch Albom
  2. 2. Contents
  3. 3. Tuesdays With Morrie
  4. 4. Tuesdays With MorrieAcknowledgments
  5. 5. Tuesdays With MorrieThe Curriculum
  6. 6. Tuesdays With MorrieIt is the late spring of 1979, a hot, sticky Saturday afternoon.Hundreds of us sit together, side by side, in rows of wooden foldingchairs on the main campus lawn. We wear blue nylon robes. Welisten impatiently to long speeches. When the ceremony is over, wethrow our caps in the air, and we are officially graduated from college,the senior class of Brandeis University in the city of Waltham,Massachusetts. For many of us, the curtain has just come down onchildhood.Afterward, I find Morrie Schwartz, my favorite professor, andintroduce him to my parents. He is a small man who takes smallsteps, as if a strong wind could, at any time, whisk him up into theclouds. In his graduation day robe, he looks like a cross between abiblical prophet and a Christmas elf He has sparkling blue green eyes,thinning silver hair that spills onto his forehead, big ears, a triangularnose, and tufts of graying eyebrows. Although his teeth are crookedand his lower ones are slanted back-as if someone had once punchedthem in-when he smiles its as if youd just told him the first joke onearth.He tells my parents how I took every class he taught. He tells them,"You have a special boy here. " Embarrassed, I look at my feet. Beforewe leave, I hand my professor a present, a tan briefcase with his
  7. 7. Tuesdays With Morrieinitials on the front. I bought this the day before at a shopping mall. Ididnt want to forget him. Maybe I didnt want him to forget me."Mitch, you are one of the good ones," he says, admiring the briefcase.Then he hugs me. I feel his thin arms around my back. I am tallerthan he is, and when he holds me, I feel awkward, older, as if I werethe parent and he were the child. He asks if I will stay in touch, andwithout hesitation I say, "Of course."When he steps back, I see that he is crying.
  8. 8. The Syllabus
  9. 9. Tuesdays With Morrie
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  13. 13. Tuesdays With Morrie Study me inmy slow and patient demise. Watch what happens to me. Learn withme.
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  15. 15. Tuesdays With Morrie"My dear and loving cousin . . .Your ageless heartas you move through time, layer on layer,tender sequoia .
  16. 16. The Student
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  19. 19. Tuesdays With MorrieThe Audiovisual
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  22. 22. Tuesdays With Morriethats
  23. 23. It is our first class together, in the spring of 1976. I enter Morrieslarge office and notice the seemingly countless books that line the wall,shelf after shelf. Books on sociology, philosophy, religion, psychology.There is a large rug on the hardwood floor and a window that looksout on the campus walk. Only a dozen or so students are there,fumbling with notebooks and syllabi. Most of them wear jeans andearth shoes and plaid flannel shirts. I tell myself it will not be easy tocut a class this small. Maybe I shouldnt take it."Mitchell?" Morrie says, reading from the attendance list. I raise ahand."Do you prefer Mitch? Or is Mitchell better?"I have never been asked this by a teacher. I do a double take at thisguy in his yellow turtleneck and green corduroy pants, the silver hairthat falls on his forehead. He is smiling.Mitch, I say. Mitch is what my friends called me."Well, Mitch it is then," Morrie says, as if closing a deal. "And,Mitch?"Yes?
  24. 24. Tuesdays With Morrie"I hope that one day you will think of me as your friend."
  25. 25. Tuesdays With MorrieThe Orientation
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  28. 28. Tuesdays With MorrieIt is my freshman year. Morrie is older than most of the teachers, andI am younger than most of the students, having left high school a yearearly. To compensate for my youth on campus, I wear old graysweatshirts and box in a local gym and walk around with an unlitcigarette in my mouth, even though I do not smoke. I drive a beat-upMercury Cougar, with the windows down and the music up. I seek myidentity in toughness-but it is Morries softness that draws me, andbecause he does not look at me as a kid trying to be something morethan I am, I relax.I finish that first course with him and enroll for another. He is aneasy marker; he does not much care for grades. One year, they say,during the Vietnam War, Morrie gave all his male students As tohelp them keep their student deferments.I begin to call Morrie "Coach," the way I used to address my highschool track coach. Morrie likes the nickname."Coach, " he says. "All right, Ill be your coach. And you can be myplayer. You can play all the lovely parts of life that Im too old fornow."Sometimes we eat together in the cafeteria. Morrie, to my delight, iseven more of a slob than I am. He talks instead of chewing, laughs
  29. 29. Tuesdays With Morriewith his mouth open, delivers a passionate thought through amouthful of egg salad, the little yellow pieces spewing from his teeth.It cracks me up. The whole time I know him, I have twooverwhelming desires: to hug him and to give him a napkin.
  30. 30. Tuesdays With MorrieThe Classroom
  31. 31. Tuesdays With MorrieWhat happened to me? What happened to me? What happened to me?
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  35. 35. In the campus bookstore, I shop for the items on Morries reading list.I purchase books that I never knew existed, titles such as Youth:Identity and Crisis, I and Thou, The Divided Self.Before college I did not know the study of human relations could beconsidered scholarly. Until I met Morrie, I did not believe it.But his passion for books is real and contagious. We begin to talkseriously sometimes, after class, when the room has emptied. He asksme questions about my life, then quotes lines from Erich Fromm,Martin Buber, Erik Erikson. Often he defers to their words,footnoting his own advice, even though he obviously thought the samethings himself. It is at these times that I realize he is indeed aprofessor, not an uncle. One afternoon, I am complaining about theconfusion of my age, what is expected of me versus what I want formyself."Have I told you about the tension of opposites?" he says. The tensionof opposites?"Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, butyou are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet youknow it shouldnt. You take certain things for granted, even whenyou know you should never take anything for granted.
  36. 36. Tuesdays With Morrie"A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of uslive somewhere in the middle. "Sounds like a wrestling match, I say. A wrestling match." He laughs."Yes, you could describe life that way."So which side wins, I ask? " Which side wins?"He smiles at me, the crinkled eyes, the crooked teeth. "Love wins. Love always wins."
  37. 37. Taking Attendance
  38. 38. Tuesdays With Morrie "So many people walk aroundwith a meaningless life. They seem half asleep, even when theyrebusy doing things they think are important. This is because theyrechasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is
  39. 39. Tuesdays With Morrieto devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your communityaround you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives youpurpose and meaning."
  40. 40. In my sophomore year, I take two more of his courses. We go beyondthe classroom, meeting now and then just to talk. I have never donethis before with an adult who was not a relative, yet I feel comfortabledoing it with Morrie, and he seems comfortable making the time."Where shall we visit today?" he asks cheerily when I enter his office.In the spring, we sit under a tree outside the sociology building, and inthe winter, we sit by his desk, me in my gray sweatshirts and Adidassneakers, Morrie in Rockport shoes and corduroy pants. Each time wetalk, lie listens to me ramble, then he tries to pass on some sort of lifelesson. He warns me that money is not the most important thing,contrary to the popular view on campus. He tells me I need to be"fully human." He speaks of the alienation of youth and the need for"connectedness" with the society around me. Some of these things Iunderstand, some I do not. It makes no difference. The discussionsgive me an excuse to talk to him, fatherly conversations I cannot havewith my own father, who would like me to be a lawyer.Morrie hates lawyers."What do you want to do when you get out of college?" he asks.I want to be a musician, I say. Piano player. "Wonderful," he says."But thats a hard life." Yeah.
  41. 41. Tuesdays With Morrie"A lot of sharks." Thats what I hear."Still," he says, "if you really want it, then youll make your dreamhappen. "I want to hug him, to thank him for saying that, but I am not thatopen. I only nod instead."Ill bet you play piano with a lot of pep," he says. I laugh. Pep?He laughs back. "Pep. Whats the matter? They dont say thatanymore?"
  42. 42. Tuesdays With MorrieThe First Tuesday We Talk About the World
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  44. 44. Tuesdays With MorrieAmazing Is this what comes at theend,
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  47. 47. Tuesdays With MorrieHe enters the classroom, sits down, doesnt say anything. He looks atits, we look at him. At first, there are a few giggles, but Morrie onlyshrugs, and eventually a deep silence falls and we begin to notice thesmallest sounds, the radiator humming in the corner of the room, thenasal breathing of one of the fat students.Some of us are agitated. When is lie going to say something? Wesquirm, check our watches. A few students look out the window,trying to be above it all. This goes on a good fifteen minutes, beforeMorrie finally breaks in with a whisper."Whats happening here?" he asks.And slowly a discussion begins as Morrie has wanted all along-about the effect of silence on human relations. My are we embarrassedby silence? What comfort do we find in all the noise?I am not bothered by the silence. For all the noise I make with myfriends, I am still not comfortable talking about my feelings in front ofothers-especially not classmates. I could sit in the quiet for hours ifthat is what the class demanded.On my way out, Morrie stops me. "You didnt say much today," heremarks.
  48. 48. Tuesdays With MorrieI dont know. I just didnt have anything to add."I think you have a lot to add. In fact, Mitch, you remind me ofsomeone I knew who also liked to keep things to himself when he wasyounger."Who?"Me."
  49. 49. Tuesdays With MorrieThe Second Tuesday We Talk About Feeling Sorry forYourself Let them wait
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  53. 53. Tuesdays With MorrieIt is my junior year, 1978, when disco and Rocky movies are thecultural rage. We are in an unusual sociology class at Brandeis,something Morrie calls "Group Process." Each week we study the waysin which the students in the group interact with one another, how theyrespond to anger, jealousy, attention. We are human lab rats. Moreoften than not, someone ends up crying. I refer to it as the "touchy -feely" course. Morrie says I should be more open-minded.On this day, Morrie says he has an exercise for us to try. We are tostand, facing away from our classmates, and fall backward, relying onanother student to catch us. Most of us are uncomfortable with this,and we cannot let go for more than a few inches before stoppingourselves. We laugh in embarrassment. Finally, one student, a thin,quiet, dark-haired girl whom I notice almost always wears bulky whitefisherman sweaters, crosses her arms over her chest, closes her eyes,leans back, and does not flinch, like one of those Lipton teacommercials where the model splashes into the pool.For a moment, I am sure she is going to thump on the floor. At thelast instant, her assigned partner grabs her head and shoulders andyanks her up harshly."Whoa!" several students yell. Some clap. Morrie _finally smiles.
  54. 54. Tuesdays With Morrie"You see," he says to the girl, "you closed your eyes. That was thedifference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have tobelieve what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other peopletrust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too-even when yourein the dark. Even when youre falling. "
  55. 55. Tuesdays With MorrieThe Third Tuesday We Talk About Regrets
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  60. 60. Tuesdays With MorrieBy the start of my senior year, I have taken so many sociology classes,I am only a few credits shy of a degree. Morrie suggests I try an honorsthesis.Me? I ask. What would I write about?"What interests you?" he says.We bat it back and forth, until we finally settle on, of all things,sports. I begin a year-long project on how football in America hasbecome ritualistic, almost a religion, an opiate for the masses. I haveno idea that this is training for my future career. I only know it givesme another once-a-week session with Morrie.And, with his help, by spring I have a 112 page thesis, researched,footnoted, documented, and neatly bound in black leather. I show it toMorrie with the pride of a Little Leaguer rounding the bases on hisfirst home run."Congratulations," Morrie says.I grin as he leafs through it, and I glance around his office. Theshelves of books, the hardwood floor, the throw rug, the couch. I think
  61. 61. Tuesdays With Morrieto myself that I have sat just about everywhere there is to sit in thisroom."I dont know, Mitch," Morrie muses, adjusting his glasses as he reads,"with work like this, we may have to get you back here for gradschool."Yeah, right, I say.I snicker, but the idea is momentarily appealing. Part of me is scaredof leaving school. Part of me wants to go desperately. Tension ofopposites. I watch Morrie as he reads my thesis, and wonder what thebig world will be like out there.
  62. 62. The Audiovisual, Part Two
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  65. 65. Tuesdays With MorrieThe ProfessorWhat will become of you?"
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  70. 70. Tuesdays With Morrie "A teacher affects eternity;he can never tell where his influence stops. "
  71. 71. The Fourth Tuesday We Talk About Death
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  78. 78. Tuesdays With MorrieThe newspaper near his chair has a photo of a Boston baseball playerwho is smiling after pitching a shutout. Of all the diseases, I think tomyself, Morrie gets one named after an athlete.You remember Lou Gehrig, I ask?"I remember him in the stadium, saying good-bye." So you rememberthe famous line."Which one?"Come on. Lou Gehrig. "Pride of the Yankees"? The speech that echoesover the loudspeakers?"Remind me," Morrie says. "Do the speech."Through the open window I hear the sound of a garbage truck.Although it is hot, Morrie is wearing long sleeves, with a blanket overhis legs, his skin pale. The disease owns him.I raise my voice and do the Gehrig imitation, where the words bounceoff the stadium walls: "Too-dayyy . . . I feeel like . . . the luckiestmaaaan . . . on the face of the earth . . ."
  79. 79. Tuesdays With MorrieMorrie closes his eyes and nods slowly."Yeah. Well. I didnt say that."
  80. 80. Tuesdays With MorrieThe Fifth Tuesday We Talk About Family
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  87. 87. Tuesdays With MorrieIt is a winter in my childhood, on a snow packed hill in our suburbanneighborhood. My brother and I are on the sled, him on top, me onthe bottom. I feel his chin on my shoulder and his feet on the backs ofmy knees.The sled rumbles on icy patches beneath us. We pick up speed as wedescend the hill."CAR!" someone yells.We see it coming, down the street to our left. We scream and try tosteer away, but the runners do not move. The driver slams his hornand hits his brakes, and we do what all kids do: we jump off. In ourhooded parkas, we roll like logs down the cold, wet snow, thinking thenext thing to touch us will be the hard rubber of a car tire. We areyelling "AHHHHHH" and we are tingling with fear, turning overand over, the world upside down, right side up, upside down.And then, nothing. We stop rolling and catch our breath and wipe thedripping snow from our faces. The driver turns down the street,wagging his finger. We are safe. Our sled has thudded quietly into asnowbank, and ourfriends are slapping us now, saying "Cool" and"You could have died."
  88. 88. Tuesdays With MorrieI grin at my brother, and we are united by childish pride. That wasntso hard, we think, and we are ready to take on death again.
  89. 89. Tuesdays With MorrieThe Sixth Tuesday We Talk About Emotions
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  96. 96. Tuesdays With MorrieDo you believe in reincarnation? I ask. "Perhaps. "What would you come back as? `If I had my choice, a gazelle."" A gazelle?""Yes. So graceful. So fast."" A gazelle?Morrie smiles at me. "You think thats strange?"I study his shrunken frame, the loose clothes, the sockswrapped feetthat rest stiffly on foam rubber cushions, unable to move, like aprisoner in leg irons. I picture a gazelle racing across the desert.No, I say. I dont think thats strange at all.
  97. 97. Tuesdays With MorrieThe Professor, Part Two
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  101. 101. Tuesdays With MorrieAs my visits with Morrie go on, I begin to read about death_, howdifferent cultures view the final passage. There is a tribe in the NorthAmerican Arctic, for example, who believe that all things on earthhave a soul that exists in a miniature form of the body that holds it-sothat a deer has a tiny deer inside it, and a man has a tiny man insidehim. When the large being dies, that tiny form lives on. It can slideinto something being born nearby, or it can go to a temporary restingplace in the sky, in the belly of a great feminine spirit, where it waitsuntil the moon can send it back to earth.Sometimes, they say, the moon is so busy with the new souls of theworld that it disappears from the sky. That is why we have moonlessnights. But in the end, the moon always returns, as do we all.That is what they believe.
  102. 102. Tuesdays With MorrieThe Seventh Tuesday We Talk About the Fear o f Aging Forget what the culture says. I have ignored theculture much of my life. I am not going to be ashamed. Whats the bigdeal? enjoy
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  104. 104. Tuesdays With Morrieembrace
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  108. 108. The Eighth Tuesday We Talk About Money
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  113. 113. The Ninth Tuesday We Talk About How Love Goes On
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  122. 122. Tuesdays With MorrieIn the South American rain forest, there is a tribe called the Desana,who see the world as a fixed quantity of energy that flows between allcreatures. Every birth must therefore engender a death, and everydeath bring forth another birth. This way, the energy of the worldremains complete.When they {hunt for food, the Desana know that the animals they killwill leave a hole in the spiritual well. But that hole will be filled, theybelieve, by the souls of the Desana hunters when they die. Were thereno men dying, there would be no birds orfish being born. I like thisidea. Morrie likes it, too. The closer he gets to good-bye, the more heseems to feel we are all creatures in the same forest. What we take, wemust replenish."Its only fair," he says.
  123. 123. Tuesdays With MorrieThe Tenth Tuesday We Talk About Marriage
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  125. 125. Tuesdays With MorrieGet me out of here!
  126. 126. Tuesdays With Morriethe little ordinary things that everyone ought to do . . . "
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  130. 130. Tuesdays With MorrieOkay, question, I say to Morrie. His bony fingers hold his glassesacross his chest, which rises and falls with each labored breath."Whats the question?" lie says.Remember the Book of Job?"From the Bible?"Right. Job is a good mare, but God makes him suffer. To test his faith."1 remember. "Takes away everything lie has, his house, his money, his family . . ."His health."Makes him sick."To test his faith."Right. To test his faith. So, Im wondering . . ."What are you wondering?"
  131. 131. Tuesdays With MorrieWhat you think about that?Morrie coughs violently. His hands quiver as he drops them by hisside."I think, " he says, smiling, "God overdid it. "
  132. 132. Tuesdays With MorrieThe Eleventh Tuesday We Talk About Our Culture Whack!
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  138. 138. Tuesdays With MorrieIt is 1979, a basketball game in the Brandeis gym. The team is doingwell, and the student section begins a chant, "Were number one!Were number one!" Morrie is sitting nearby. He is puzzled by thecheer. At one point, in the midst of "Were number one!" he rises andyells, "Whats wrong with being number two?"The students look at him. They stop chanting. He sits down, smilingand triumphant.
  139. 139. Tuesdays With MorrieThe Audiovisual, Part Three
  140. 140. Tuesdays With MorrieA Brief History of Time
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  143. 143. Tuesdays With MorrieThe Twelfth Tuesday We Talk About Forgiveness
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  148. 148. Tuesdays With Morrie"Ive picked a place to be buried."Where is that?"Not far from here. On a hill, beneath a tree, overlooking a pond.Very serene. A good place to think."Are you planning on thinking there?"Im planning on being dead there."He chuckles. I chuckle."Will you visit?" Visit?`Just come and talk. Make it a Tuesday. You always come onTuesdays. "Were Tuesday people."Right. Tuesday people. Come to talk, then?"He has grown so weak so fast.
  149. 149. Tuesdays With Morrie"Look at me," he says.Im looking."Youll come to my grave? To tell me your problems?"My problems?"Yes.And youll give me answers?"Ill give you what I can. Dont I always?"I picture his grave, on the hill, overlooking the pond, some little ninefoot piece of earth where they will place him, cover him with dirt, puta stone on top. Maybe in a few weeks? Maybe in a few days? I seemysef sitting there alone, arms across my knees, staring into space.It wont be the same, I say, not being able to hear you talk."Ah, talk . . . "He closes his eyes and smiles."Tell you what. After Im dead, you talk. And Ill listen."
  150. 150. Tuesdays With MorrieThe Thirteenth Tuesday We Talk About the Perfect Day
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  157. 157. Tuesdays With Morrie"I heard a nice little story the other day," Morrie says. He closes hiseyes for a moment and I wait."Okay. The story is about a little wave, bobbing along in the ocean,having a grand old time. Hes enjoying the wind and the fresh air-untilhe notices the other waves in front of him, crashing against the shore." `My God, this is terrible, the wave says. `Look whats going tohappen to me!"Then along comes another wave. It sees the first wave, looking grim,and it says to him, `Why do you look so sad?"The first wave says, `You dont understand! Were all going to crash!All of us waves are going to be nothing! Isnt it terrible?"The second wave says, `No, you dont understand. Youre not awave, youre part of the ocean. "I smile. Morrie closes his eyes again."Part of the ocean, " he says, "part of the ocean. " I watch himbreathe, in and out, in and out.
  158. 158. Tuesdays With MorrieThe Fourteenth Tuesday We Say Good-bye
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  163. 163. Tuesdays With MorrieGraduation
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  165. 165. Conclusion
  166. 166. Tuesdays With MorrieHow about Tuesdays with Morrie
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  168. 168. Tuesdays With MorrieMitch Albom
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