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How to Fake a Wine Conversation This Holiday Season

How to Fake a Wine Conversation This Holiday Season






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    How to Fake a Wine Conversation This Holiday Season How to Fake a Wine Conversation This Holiday Season Document Transcript

    • How to Fake a Wine Conversation This Holiday SeasonIt’s the holidays and you are stuck with your family all those months of not talking to them andyou have nothing to say. What do all good groups of friends do when they are together on thesemomentous holidays? The weather conversation only goes so far unless you are an expert attelling a tall tale or making a completely fictitious situation. Let’s move to the next situation, youtalk about the food and then when you’re done announcing, “That (fill in the blank) isdelicious!” and 4 seconds have passed you know that the wine conversation is coming next.Don’t worry when you are through with this post you will know all you need to know about theintricacies of wine that you can fake it to make it through the day.First off, if you are going to be getting away with an amazing wine conversation it’s my rule thatyou have to look good doing it. Yes, dress to impress, but I mean you don’t want eyebrowsrising when you pour a cabernet sauvignon into a flute glass.Step 1: The Obvious KnowledgeHow is wine made?Wine is made from grapes. It is a natural product that is created from the fermentation (breakingdown) of grapes. This is something you may recognize when people are walking around in hugebarrels of grapes they are breaking them down so that the natural sugars are released whichturns into alcohol becoming wine.What makes a red or white wine?This is a simple question, but frequently asked. Red wines come from red grapes and whitewine comes from green grapes.Why do wines taste different?Wines taste different for many reasons it can be the fermentation length, the climate where thegrapes were grown, the blend of grapes and even the storage location. Here’s where you can 1/4
    • sound real good, but not necessarily know the exact locations.Step 2: The Looking Good PartRed wines are served at room temperature or a little on the cooler side. The larger the glass thebetter it is for red wine, you will hear people say “let the wine breathe” it means let as much of itbe exposed to the air. Red wines get the most value from exposure to air, it is recommended towait fifteen to twenty minutes, and if you’re me then this never happens. This is why you willfrequently see people twirling their glasses and smelling it before they drink it. As posh of anaction as it may seem, there is a purpose. This is frequently called the process of aerating.There is a device called a Decanter which you pour through to aerate the wine.White wines are chilled. Put them in your fridge and bring them out a few minutes beforeserving. White wines are traditionally served in a more narrow glass. They still have the same“egg shape” as a red wine glass but a bit more narrow to constrict the air exposure which a redneeds.Finally champagne is the dangerous bubbly wine. It is traditionally served in a tall narrow glassoften referred to as a flute. The glasses are so narrow to have less surface area for the carbonto be lost, giving you bubbles for longer as you sip on your champagne.Those are the three big glasses you need to know to make sure that you look good whendrinking wine. Oh, if you are drinking a white wine or champagne people will frequently holdthem by the stem which prevents your body heat from warming your wine. There’s nothing likewatching someone try to aerate a white wine in a red wine glass. You’ll catch a smirk acrossmy face every time.Step 3: Faking the Conversation 2/4
    • The rules to really faking any conversation are to say a lot with certainty. Warning, make sureyou don’t have a wine connoisseur in your midst. I’m going to give you wine vocabulary andwhat it means and how it can be used in a sentence. These words are sure to make you soundgood and if you use them in the wrong context most people won’t know what you’re sayinganyways, and they’ll generally nod in agreement.Acidity – A wine with great acidity can give the wine a sour taste immediately when it hits yourlips. This is also an aspect which is calmed down with aerating red wine.Example: Wow, this wine is a bit acidic it has a slightly sour taste when I sip on it.Aftertaste – This is the same as any aftertaste. With wine it is a big topic because you canlearn a lot about a type of wine from the aftertaste. Well trained wine enthusiasts can tell youthe specific region a wine was made and what type of soil or climate the grapes were made in.Example: The aftertaste of this wine is from the (fill in the blank) region and it has a nice oakyblend.Balance – A fine balance is what wine makers are trying to obtain. A balance is achieved whena single flavor doesn’t overpower the rest of the wine.Example: This blend of wine has a perfect balance I can taste the reds nicely with an undertoneof sweetness.Bitter – A wine that is bitter leaves you with a bite the moment you drink it. Bitter wines are notvery desirable and are a common trait in cheap wines.Example: My, this wine is bitter unfortunately I think it’s not my favorite of the selection heretoday.Blending – Blending is the most common term among all the wine makers. Blending is aprocess of selecting certain grapes, determining ratios of grapes in the blend, and continuinguntil perfection.Example: The wine makers did a great job on blending his wine!Clean – This wine term refers to the overall taste of the wine, if it’s clean then it is rid of anyunwanted flavors. Some wine makers believe that having a completely clean wine rids wine ofunique characteristics.Example: This wine is a bit too clean for my tastes I prefer this wine with a tad bitter finish.Dumb – This term is used for a wine that is almost at perfection, but is lacking in one aspect.This is a term that you should not know, but if you hear it you’ll know what they are meaning.Otherwise you’ll have to say that the wine is dumb, and that may not go over well with yourcompany. 3/4
    • And with that last vocabulary term I am going to end this article. I believe you are well equipped to speak about the loftiness of wine and sound like you study it. Throw around a few big words and terms and you’ll be done with your spout on wine and can move onto the next conversation. Good luck faking it! The author of this article is Alisa Carscaden. I am an avid traveler and am constantly seeking out new foods and wines along the way. If I find a great blog article, it’s going to be on the web. I love to buy my wine online at liquormart.com. How to Fake a Wine Conversation This Holiday Season 4/4Powered by TCPDF (www.tcpdf.org)