Mary DuBueno

For Juliette & Bridgette and Mary —wherever you are—

In 2005, on her fourth day on the job, Jamie Lee Jones, a young computer tech working in Iraq for the popular U.S. defense contractor Halliburton/KBR,was drugged and gang-raped by coworkers. A judge who reviewed the case said this: “Sadly, sexual harassment, up to and including sexual assault is a reality in today’s workplace.”

In 1976, at an elementary school near the foothills of Pike’s Peak Mountain, Mary DuBueno fought off the playground assaultof a dangerous boy named Shannon. He had bullied her all year.

All the little girlsand one sweet little boy ran away scared.

One second, they were third gradersfrolicking with jump ropes and monkey bars. The next second, Mary was pinned against a set of locked doors.

Tears streamed down her soft brown faceas childhood bliss ran aground.

The sexual assault lasted for only a few moments. It was abetted by the remaining boys who formed a little human boy wall the eight-year-old girl could not scale.

In the early 1990s posted on a foreman’s desk in a dark corner of a federal facilitywas a crude copy of a World War II poster — Rosie the Riveter —proudly going to work to support the war. Donning a cute red bandana, these words were scrawledunderneath her beautiful and patriotic face:

“Shut up and work, bitch.”

Sexual harassment is not about lust. It is the mean little cousin to sexual assault. It is about power, control and dominance over women.

Sexual harassment is a form of violence against women, and it leads to devastating consequencesincluding physical and psychological injuries. It prevents the integration of women in theworkplace and reinforces the subordination of girls to boys, women to men. It violates a girl’s dignity. Sexual violence pervades the world and sexual harassment is just one of the first links in a long chain.

Sexual harassment is not someone’s personal dilemma. Sexual harassment is a crime.

Men (or boys) who sexually harass women (or girls)sexualize the work or school environmentin an effort to diminish the role of females.

Sometimes, they succeed.

It is also true that men can be sexually harassed. It just doesn’t happen as frequently,but it is just as humiliating and illegal.

Years of experience, post graduate education and impressive credentials do not serve as an inoculation against sexual harassment.The research scientist is no more immune than the 19-year-old girl working at a Houston dry cleaner.

In fact, studies indicate that Women who do not conform to gender stereotypes are particularly targeted. In most cases, men sexually harassassertive, ambitious and independent women leaders.

Sexual harassment can be a dizzying world of he-said/she-said. In the absence of witnesses,complaints can become fodder for a dark fairy tale, Shut Up and Work, Bitch.

The men who sexually harass women know they can grope them in the elevator one minute and isolate them at the office party the next.

No wonder more womendon’t come forward.

As if it’s not hard enough for women to secure equal pay, compete for executive positions and balance children and career, they must work with the knowledge that they are not adequately protected from unwanted sexual behavior and comments.

According to government and media, sexual harassment and sexual discrimination are both on the rise —despite— Jenson vs. Eveleth MinesTailhook, Anita Hill and so many more. (In 2007, EEOC reported that the number ofsexual harassment complaints had increased for the first time since 2000.)

And, it’s no big surprise. —After all— according to sexual harassment law, there are no consequencesfor being bad when nobody is looking.

What it will take for our daughters to inherit a workplace free from thesecivil rights violations ?

In 1976,I ran away fromMary DuBueno.

It won’t happen again.

Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your Godwill be with you wherever you go.”

I kept the story about Mary DuBueno to myself 32 years.I shared it for the first time in 2008 with my 10-year-old daughter.

What story are you waiting to share ?

Jennifer James was born in Los Angeles.She has lived in Oklahoma for 25 years. jenx67.com !

Mary DuBueno

by Jen James on Nov 08, 2011

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Mary DuBueno — Presentation Transcript