TWO SKETCHES FORSTUPENDOUSbyJake BrinksmanJake Brinksman72 Forshaw StreetWarringtonWA2 7HDbrinko3@hotmail.co.uk
INT. NORTH POLE, OFFICE OF SANTA CLAUS - NIGHTSANTA CLAUS, seemingly bored reading hundreds of letters fromchildren all around the world. He finds flirtatious pinkletter from a MYSTERY SENDER. Santa Claus opens and reads thisletter intriguingly, he looks up and smiles deviously. SantaClaus gives the letter to his loyal servant, an ELF who looksconfused. He kneels down to the Elfs height.SANTA CLAUSGo and hide this, go and hide itquickly.The Elf nods eagerly obeying his masters request and scurriesaway through the house.INT. NORTH POLE, OFFICE OF SANTA CLAUS - NIGHTSanta Claus sits down at his desk and begins writing a replyto the Mystery Sender. Santa Claus still smiling deviouslystands, seals the letter and delivers it in the outgoing mailletterbox. He then turns and walks with a swagger into theliving room. He kicks his heels along the way.A MONTAGE follows of Santa Claus reading the pink mysteryletters, replying to the Mystery Sender and the Elf hiding allof the Mystery Senders letters in the top draw of SantaClaus bedroom.INT. NORTH POLE, LIVING ROOM OF SANTA CLAUS AND MRS CLAUS -DAYSanta Claus walks eagerly to the door, opens it and finds alarge sack of mail outside. He picks up the sack of mail andturns quickly back into the house. The door slams behind him.Santa Claus quickly rushes through the room in excitement toread the mail from his Mystery Sender when he trips over theElf and tumbles to ground.SANTA CLAUSWatch where youre going!(CONTINUED)
The Elf looks fiercely displeasing at Santa Claus and foldshis arms in disgust. Santa Claus continues to rush through tohis office.INT. NORTH POLE, THE OFFICE OF SANTA CLAUS - DAYSanta Claus empties the sack full of mail on his desk andimmediately begins searching frantically for a pink letterfrom his admirer. Santa Claus finds the pink letter and beginsreading it quickly. He then hears MRS CLAUS coming down thestairs. He starts looking around everywhere for possibleplaces he could hide the letter. He rushes up and down theroom trying to find a good place to hide the letter. He turnsand sees the Elf stood by the door, still displeased fromSanta Claus tripping over him. Santa Claus walks over quicklyto the Elf and gestures to the Elf to go and find a hidingplace for the letter.SANTA CLAUSGo and hide this, hide it quick.Mrs Claus comes down the stairs and interrupts theconversation, the ELF hides the letter behind his back andscurries upstairs past MRS CLAUS.MRS CLAUSWatch where youre going Elf.Santa Claus gives an innocent smile to Mrs Claus and breathesa sigh of relief.INT. NORTH POLE, LIVING ROOM OF SANTA CLAUS AND MRS CLAUS -DAYA MONTAGE follows of him getting smartly dressed to go out. Hecombs his beard, brushes his hair and dusts his coat down. Hefinalises his appearance by placing his hat on his head as heopens the door and leaves.EXT. TERRACE STREET - NIGHTSanta Claus gets off his sled and reads the address on theletter from his Mystery Sender. He looks up at a house, hesmiles and heads to the front door.(CONTINUED)
Santa Claus sees a message on the door saying "Come in andclose the door behind you xx".INT. MYSTERY SENDERS LIVING ROOM - DAYSanta Claus struts through the door of the Mystery Sendershouse. A large decorative room awaits him. A large Christmastree in the corner with several presents underneath it andhundreds of Santa Claus and other Christmas photographssurrounding the walls. The door closes behind Santa Claus andlooking very confused he tries to open the front door which hediscovers is locked. He hears a noise across the room andquickly looks around where the Mystery Sender walks in fromanother room. A tall smartly dressed man in a dry cleanedexpensive suit walks in smiling but looking nervous.SANTA CLAUS(NervouslyErrm...have you been sending methese letters?The Mystery Sender nods his head frantically. He is surprisedand struggling to find his words.SANTA CLAUSAaarrrgghhh!INT. DRIVING TEST CENTRE - DAYA timid nervous teenager with curly brown hair and large boldglasses called SIMON is sitting down in the waiting area.A door in front of him flies open and a very tall highlymuscular black man named CLEVELAND is stood there filling thedoor frame. Simons face is stunned as he studies the man.CLEVELANDHello son, my names Cleveland ,Ill be yo examiner today.(CONTINUED)
Simon stays sat in the safety of his seat stunned by thepresence of Cleveland.Cleveland grabs Simons hand and pulls him up with some greatforce. Simon flies up and hits Clevelands solid chest. Hisglasses fall on the floor.CLEVELANDHehehe, Im sorry about that sonsometimes I just dont know myown strength.Cleveland leans down, picks up Simons glasses and hands themto him which he accepts nervously.SIMONThats ok, its nice to meet youMr Cleveland.CLEVELANDThats the attitude son. Come onItll all be fine Im sure.The two walk out the door with Cleveland towering over Simonand patting Simon on the head.INT. SMALL HATCHBACK CAR INTERIOR - DAYSimon driving down a busy and congested main road he is satvery low in his seat whilst Cleveland in the passenger seat isalmost touching the roof of the car. Cleveland spots somethingout of the window.CLEVELANDSTOP THE CAR!Simon grinds the car to a halt, worried that he has donesomething wrong. Cleveland winds the window down. Clevelandslides the top half of his body out of the window. Simon sitsnervously looking around for any faults he may of made.(CONTINUED)
CLEVELANDYo Detroit, Jackson Yo Dawgs.Two other large black men DETROIT and JACKSON who are the samesize and build as Cleveland are walking along the path.DETROITYO guys, what up?CLEVELANDSound bro, fancy coming for aride.JACKSONYeah dawg, sounds like a plan.Cleveland turns and slides back through the window into thecar. Shortly after Jackson and Detroit get in the back. Simonlooks around scared, as he is surrounding by these 3 giantmen.CLEVELANDOn with the test we go son.Simon gulps and nervously pulls the car forward.INT. SMALL HATCHBACK CAR INTERIOR - DAYThe car stops further down the street at a set of trafficlights behind another car. An attractive YOUNG WOMAN in her20s crosses the road. The four mens eyes follow the youngattractive girl across the road. The Young Woman distractsSimons attention, at that moment the lights change and Simonreleases the clutch to quick and crashes into the car infront. As Cleveland opens the passenger door and begins to getout of the car a FEMALE DRIVER whose arms are covered intattoos, stocky build and thick curly hair gets out of the carin front and begins to approach the car angrily.(CONTINUED)
FEMALE DRIVERWhat the hell have you done to mycar? Youre going to pay forthat.Cleveland closes the door rapidly and Cleveland, Detroit andJackson all begin to panic.CLEVELAND, DETROIT AND JACKSONAAARGGHH ITS HER!Simon stunned pauses for a moment before driving off rapidly,he swerves the car past the car in front and swerving severalcars along the way. He drives turning the car down severalside streets.SIMONWhats going on, why didnt Ijust stop?CLEVELANDSIMON my son, when you meet awoman like that you fear for yourlife. Trust me, I know, I wasmarried to her!Simon glances at Cleveland, still very scared. In doing soSimon loses control and crashes into a nearby tree. Theseatbelts save the four men and the airbag deploys.DETROITGuys we gotta scoot, before thatcrazy bitch gets here.CLEVELANDGood shout, lets bail.Cleveland, Detroit and Jackson open the doors and run away indifferent directions leaving Simon alone in the car. The carthey crashed into earlier screeches around the corner andbreaks harshly next to Simons car. The Female Driver gets outof the car and walks towards Simon slowly with an angry frownon her face.