THE PEACEMAKERS’ DIVORCE
The Collaborative Approach is:
A way for attorneys to take on the role that they were
meant to assume when working with fa...
• With a Collaborative
Practice divorce,
each adult hires a
Collaborative
Practice lawyer, who
protects & guides
each spou...
The Collaborative Approach is:
• Additional experts, such as
divorce coaches & child &
financial specialists, may
join the...
• Professionals committed to help couples resolve their
divorce as fairly & amicably as possible. 
• All meetings are inte...
The Collaborative Approach is:
• Mutual problem-solving by all parties leads to the final
divorce agreement.
• Combined de...
The Collaborative Approach is:
• About preserving family relationships.
• About managing disputes within families,
busines...
The Collaborative Approach is:
• One of the best kept
secrets.
• When we do our work
well, no one outside the
process know...
Collaborative Law Principles: 
• An agreement is signed
by spouses & their
lawyers to allow
parties to resolve issues
with...
The Benefits of Collaborative Approaches:
• Maintain control over
personal, private information.
• Eliminates the high cos...
• Reduces the time to address
legal issues.
- With focus on problem-
solving, instead of blame &
grievances, this process ...
• Learn/develop/practice/acquire more effective
communication tools.
- Guiding principle of Collaborative Practice is resp...
• Learn/develop/practice/acquire more effective
communication tools.
- Collaborative professionals are trained in non-
con...
Why do family law professional peacemakers
conclude collaboration is the best way, when often
they make less money from ea...
• Children’s sense of well-being is fostered by parental
harmony.
• Children experience the healing aspects of collaborati...
The Cost of Adversarialism:
• Not just paid in dollars.
• Loss of productivity &
control of outcome.
• Length of time to
c...
The Cost of Adversarialism:
• Who really profits from
protracted litigation?
• Resources are redirected
from the family to...
The Cost of Adversarialism:
• Do you have an emotional budget?
• What about the performance factor?
• What’s your comfort ...
Why are those in the “public eye”
choosing an alternative to court-
processed divorce?
• March 1, 2013 -
Billionaire T. Bo...
• “The collaborative approach saves both money &
emotional wear & tear on families.”
• “Collaborative law keeps everything...
• Pickens is such a
believer in the process
that he gave the
Collaborative Law
Institute of Texas
$100,000.
• Pickens, fam...
• How much did Mr. Pickens tell Mr. Hethcock the
collaborative approach saved his family?
• “Money?...several million.”
Q
U
E
S
T
I
O
N
S
?
C
O
M
M
E
N
T
S
?
THE END
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Collaborative divorce 7 28-13

  1. 1. THE PEACEMAKERS’ DIVORCE
  2. 2. The Collaborative Approach is: A way for attorneys to take on the role that they were meant to assume when working with families in conflict, as Counselors-at-Law, with everyone agreeing in writing not to go to court.
  3. 3. • With a Collaborative Practice divorce, each adult hires a Collaborative Practice lawyer, who protects & guides each spouse. • Spouses meet privately with their lawyers, as well as together with each other & their lawyers. The Collaborative Approach is:
  4. 4. The Collaborative Approach is: • Additional experts, such as divorce coaches & child & financial specialists, may join the process or are perhaps the first professional consulted. • The shared professional team is a valuable benefit as they work together with spouses, promoting good decision-making in a time of crisis, ultimately helping to create a solid foundation for the family’s future.
  5. 5. • Professionals committed to help couples resolve their divorce as fairly & amicably as possible.  • All meetings are intended to promote honest exchange of information & clear understanding about needs & expectations, especially about the well-being of children. The Collaborative Approach is:
  6. 6. The Collaborative Approach is: • Mutual problem-solving by all parties leads to the final divorce agreement. • Combined decades of experience & education of the Collaborative Law team using this process, which promotes resolution of divorce matters uniquely tailored to family’s needs. 
  7. 7. The Collaborative Approach is: • About preserving family relationships. • About managing disputes within families, businesses, work settings & neighborhoods. • About constructively addressing paternity cases & prenuptial agreements. • Not just about divorce but for all civil procedures.
  8. 8. The Collaborative Approach is: • One of the best kept secrets. • When we do our work well, no one outside the process knows about it. • The best kept secret is that you do not have to go bankrupt when you divorce & it does not have to hurt so much. • A way of life.
  9. 9. Collaborative Law Principles:  • An agreement is signed by spouses & their lawyers to allow parties to resolve issues without court appearances. • An open exchange of information by both spouses is required. • Goal is to determine a maximum outcome & possibilities that reflect the most important priorities for each spouse & their children.
  10. 10. The Benefits of Collaborative Approaches: • Maintain control over personal, private information. • Eliminates the high cost of courtroom litigation. • Often reduces the time to address legal issues. - Each family’s situation determines how quickly the divorce process proceeds. - Collaborative Practice can be more direct & efficient.
  11. 11. • Reduces the time to address legal issues. - With focus on problem- solving, instead of blame & grievances, this process is less antagonistic & more respectful. - Full disclosure & open communications assure all issues are addressed in a timely manner. - By settling out of court, there is no wait for the multiple court dates necessary with conventional divorce.
  12. 12. • Learn/develop/practice/acquire more effective communication tools. - Guiding principle of Collaborative Practice is respect. - Respectful tone encourages all involved to be more reasonable, understanding & cooperative.
  13. 13. • Learn/develop/practice/acquire more effective communication tools. - Collaborative professionals are trained in non- confrontational negotiation, helping to keep discussions productive. - Goal of Collaborative Practice is building settlement on areas of agreement, not perpetuating disagreement. • Focus on problem solving, rather than faultfinding.
  14. 14. Why do family law professional peacemakers conclude collaboration is the best way, when often they make less money from each family served? • Increased pride & personal satisfaction in what can be achieved within a collaborative system. • Vicarious joy in witnessing the preservation of more cordial family relationships following divorce.
  15. 15. • Children’s sense of well-being is fostered by parental harmony. • Children experience the healing aspects of collaborative process, because it enables the family to remain connected. • Personal stress is decreased. • The collaborative approach reduces the negativity typically created by going to court. Thus, extended family & significant others are not drawn into a dreadful process.
  16. 16. The Cost of Adversarialism: • Not just paid in dollars. • Loss of productivity & control of outcome. • Length of time to conclude. • Protracted stress. • Beginning of the odyssey of conflict.
  17. 17. The Cost of Adversarialism: • Who really profits from protracted litigation? • Resources are redirected from the family to the adversarial system. • Enemies gained when there is a face off in court. • Expect judge to fix it? Judge will chop resources in half & create a mess.
  18. 18. The Cost of Adversarialism: • Do you have an emotional budget? • What about the performance factor? • What’s your comfort level communicating personal information in a stressful, public forum?
  19. 19. Why are those in the “public eye” choosing an alternative to court- processed divorce? • March 1, 2013 - Billionaire T. Boone Pickens, energy tycoon. • A man who knows a good deal when he sees one. • Used a collaborative divorce approach in his recent parting of ways from his fourth wife, Madeleine.
  20. 20. • “The collaborative approach saves both money & emotional wear & tear on families.” • “Collaborative law keeps everything on a high level, & everybody cooperating.” Pickens told Bill Heathcock, Staff Writer for the Dallas Business Journal:
  21. 21. • Pickens is such a believer in the process that he gave the Collaborative Law Institute of Texas $100,000. • Pickens, famous for saying “the first billion is the hardest ,” said his second divorce was the toughest. He did not use the collaborative approach on that one.
  22. 22. • How much did Mr. Pickens tell Mr. Hethcock the collaborative approach saved his family? • “Money?...several million.”
  23. 23. Q U E S T I O N S ? C O M M E N T S ?
  24. 24. THE END

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