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Managing Conflict With Confidence

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  • Word association game. What words come to mind when you see this? (expect fear, bad, fight, death, problem, etc.). Suggestions: growth, development, necessary, learning, change, evolution,
  • Word association game. What words come to mind when you see this? (expect fear, bad, fight, death, problem, etc.). Suggestions: growth, development, necessary, learning, change, evolution,
  • Transcript

    • 1. Managing Conflict With Confidence: 7 Tips for Conflict Resolution 7 Tips for Conflict Resolution Jamie Notter http://twitter.com/jamienotter Texas Society of Association Executives #newideas10 September 21, 2010
    • 2. Welcome! Managing conflict... Handouts Giveaway!
    • 3. CONFLICT
    • 4. Theory: CONFLICT IS GOOD Practice: AVOID CONFLICT LIKE THE PLAGUE
    • 5. How do you feel about conflict? about conflict? HATE DISLIKE OKAY LOVE Avoid Avoid Resolution
    • 6. Self-Perpetuating Cycle Conflict exists We avoid either the conflict or its resolution Conflict gets worse! We avoid more
    • 7. BREAK THE CYCLE: 7 Tips for Managing Conflict 7 Tips for Managing Conflict
      • 3 Attitude Tips
      • 3 Behavior Tips
      • 1 Challenge
    • 8. Tip #1: (attitude) (attitude)
      • Know yourself.
    • 9. Tip #1: Know yourself Know yourself
      • I S T J
      • E N F P
    • 10.
      • TJ
      • TP
      • FJ
      • FP
      Tip #1:Know yourself
    • 11. Tip #2: (attitude) (attitude)
      • Humans are emotional.
      • Get over it.
    • 12. Tip #2: Accept Emotions Accept Emotions
    • 13. Tip #2:Accept Emotions
    • 14. Tip #3: (attitude) (attitude)
      • Move toward the conflict.
    • 15. Tip #3: Move toward conflict Move toward conflict
    • 16. Tip #4: (behavior) (behavior)
      • Put learning first
      • (ask questions).
    • 17. Tip #4: Put learning first Put learning first converge diverge
    • 18. Tip #5: (behavior) (behavior)
      • Value stories over “truth”
      • (ladder of inference).
    • 19. Ladder of Inference I take ACTIONS based on my beliefs I adopt BELIEFS about the world I draw CONCLUSIONS I make ASSUMPTIONS based on the meanings I added I add MEANING (cultural and personal) I SELECT data from what I observe Observable DATA and experiences Source: Peter Senge, et al., The Fifth Discipline Fieldbook, p. 243
    • 20. Tip #6: (behavior) (behavior)
      • Feedback over judgment and
      • requests over demands
    • 21. The Secret to Effective Feedback: Behavior Impact Judgment
    • 22. Behavior-Impact Feedback Model
      • WHEN YOU [do something...]
      • I [react this way...]
      • BECAUSE [of these reasons...]
      • SO I HAVE A REQUEST...
      Behavior Impact
    • 23. Giving Feedback
      • Exercise: Micromanager or Public Shame
      • Read the scenario.
      • Discuss with your table.
      • Come up with feedback, using the Model (you can use the four questions as a guide)
      • One person prepare to report your answer.
    • 24. Tip #7: (challenge) (challenge)
      • Change you, not them.
    • 25. Questions? Jamie Notter http://www.getmejamienotter.com http://twitter.com/jamienotter

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