Managing Conflict With Confidence
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Managing Conflict With Confidence

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  • Word association game. What words come to mind when you see this? (expect fear, bad, fight, death, problem, etc.). Suggestions: growth, development, necessary, learning, change, evolution,
  • Word association game. What words come to mind when you see this? (expect fear, bad, fight, death, problem, etc.). Suggestions: growth, development, necessary, learning, change, evolution,

Managing Conflict With Confidence Presentation Transcript

  • 1. Managing Conflict With Confidence: 7 Tips for Conflict Resolution 7 Tips for Conflict Resolution Jamie Notter http://twitter.com/jamienotter Texas Society of Association Executives #newideas10 September 21, 2010
  • 2. Welcome! Managing conflict... Handouts Giveaway!
  • 3. CONFLICT
  • 4. Theory: CONFLICT IS GOOD Practice: AVOID CONFLICT LIKE THE PLAGUE
  • 5. How do you feel about conflict? about conflict? HATE DISLIKE OKAY LOVE Avoid Avoid Resolution
  • 6. Self-Perpetuating Cycle Conflict exists We avoid either the conflict or its resolution Conflict gets worse! We avoid more
  • 7. BREAK THE CYCLE: 7 Tips for Managing Conflict 7 Tips for Managing Conflict
    • 3 Attitude Tips
    • 3 Behavior Tips
    • 1 Challenge
  • 8. Tip #1: (attitude) (attitude)
    • Know yourself.
  • 9. Tip #1: Know yourself Know yourself
    • I S T J
    • E N F P
  • 10.
    • TJ
    • TP
    • FJ
    • FP
    Tip #1:Know yourself
  • 11. Tip #2: (attitude) (attitude)
    • Humans are emotional.
    • Get over it.
  • 12. Tip #2: Accept Emotions Accept Emotions
  • 13. Tip #2:Accept Emotions
  • 14. Tip #3: (attitude) (attitude)
    • Move toward the conflict.
  • 15. Tip #3: Move toward conflict Move toward conflict
  • 16. Tip #4: (behavior) (behavior)
    • Put learning first
    • (ask questions).
  • 17. Tip #4: Put learning first Put learning first converge diverge
  • 18. Tip #5: (behavior) (behavior)
    • Value stories over “truth”
    • (ladder of inference).
  • 19. Ladder of Inference I take ACTIONS based on my beliefs I adopt BELIEFS about the world I draw CONCLUSIONS I make ASSUMPTIONS based on the meanings I added I add MEANING (cultural and personal) I SELECT data from what I observe Observable DATA and experiences Source: Peter Senge, et al., The Fifth Discipline Fieldbook, p. 243
  • 20. Tip #6: (behavior) (behavior)
    • Feedback over judgment and
    • requests over demands
  • 21. The Secret to Effective Feedback: Behavior Impact Judgment
  • 22. Behavior-Impact Feedback Model
    • WHEN YOU [do something...]
    • I [react this way...]
    • BECAUSE [of these reasons...]
    • SO I HAVE A REQUEST...
    Behavior Impact
  • 23. Giving Feedback
    • Exercise: Micromanager or Public Shame
    • Read the scenario.
    • Discuss with your table.
    • Come up with feedback, using the Model (you can use the four questions as a guide)
    • One person prepare to report your answer.
  • 24. Tip #7: (challenge) (challenge)
    • Change you, not them.
  • 25. Questions? Jamie Notter http://www.getmejamienotter.com http://twitter.com/jamienotter