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Adding more power

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Help on creating effective sentences

Help on creating effective sentences

Published in: Education, Technology

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  • 1. Advice on Adding More Power
    I don’t want a passive voice. I want an active one…Help!!
  • 2. Delete repeated Words
    Wordy: The childhood disease chicken pox occasionally leads to dangerous complications, such as the disease known as Reye’s syndrome.
    Concise: The childhood disease chicken pox occasionally leads to dangerous complications, such as Reye’s syndrome.
  • 3. Substituting a Pronoun
    Wordy: Agatha Christie’s Miss Marplehas solved many difficult cases. The Murder at the Vicarage was one of Miss Marple’smost challenging cases.
    Concise: Agatha Christie’s Miss Marple has solved many difficult cases. The Murder at the Vicarage was one of her most challenging cases.
  • 4. Using Elliptical Clauses
    Wordy: Quincy Market is a popular tourist attraction in Boston; the White House is a popular tourist attraction in Washington, DC
    Concise: Quincy Market is a popular tourist attraction in Boston: the White House, in Washington, DC.
  • 5. Creating Appositives
    Wordy: Red Barber was a sportscaster. He was known for his colorful expressions.
    Concise: Red Barber, a sportscaster, was known for his colorful expressions.
  • 6. Creating Compounds
    Wordy: Huckleberry Finn is an adventure story. It is also a sad account of an abused, neglected child.
    Concise: Huckleberry Finn is both an adventure story and a sad account of an abused, neglected child.
  • 7. Creating Complex Sentences
    Wordy: Americans value freedom of speech. Freedom of speech is guaranteed by the First Amendment.
    Concise: Americans value freedom of speech, which is guaranteed by the First Amendment.
  • 8. Eliminating Passive Constructions
    Excessive use of the passive voice can make sentences ramble. You can change this problem by changing passive to active voice..
  • 9. Wordy: “Buy American” rallies are being organized by concerned Americans who hope that jobs can be saved by such gatherings.
    Concise: Concerned Americans are organizing “Buy American” rallies, hoping that such gatherings can save jobs.
  • 10. Eliminating Wordy Prepositional Phrases
    When you revise, substitute adjectives or adverbs for wordy prepositional phrases..
    Wordy: The trip was one of danger but also one of excitement.
    Concise: The trip was dangerous but exciting.
  • 11. Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no powerless sentences…
    Revise for power.
    Push for an active voice, not a passive one.