If we surveyed people who work with you, live with you, or know you well, would they describe you as a dependable person?
A reputation for dependability is built or destroyed in little ways.
If you prove to be dependable in the small things, you will undoubtedly be dependable in the big things.
Here are some of those little things that matter:
Keep track of any commitment or promise you make --Do you have a method to follow up on yourself? I can't imagine that anyone can be consistently dependable without some efficient follow-up system. It can be a formal method, such as Day Timers, to a simple "to-do" list or calendar, as long as it works! Whatever method you use, be sure to write down all your commitments and follow-up on yourself consistently. If you trust your memory, you will eventually find yourself in trouble.
Return your phone calls promptly --This is a very easy way to buy yourself a lot of credibility. Most people are amazed when someone returns a phone call promptly. It sends a very positive impression of your professionalism, and it also tells that person that his or her call is important to you.
Don't promise what you cannot personally deliver -- Avoid the tendency to make careless promises ("Under promise, over deliver" is a good motto).
When you realize you cannot fulfill a promise or commitment you've made, for unforeseen reasons, it is far more credible for you to inform that person ahead of time rather than waiting until he or she contacts you.
Take the initiative to let that person know the status of the situation, even though it may not be pleasant to break the bad news.
DO: Know and do your duty. / Acknowledge and meet your legal and moral obligations.
DO: Accept responsibility for the consequences of your choices, not only for what you do but what you don’t do. /Think about consequences on yourself and others before you act. /Think long-term/ Do what you can do to make things better. /Set a good example.
DON’T: Look the other way when you can make a difference. /Make excuses or blame others.
DO: Your best./Persevere. /Don’t quit./Be prepared./Be diligent./Work hard./ Make all you do worthy of pride
DO: Take charge of your own life./Set realistic goals./Keep a positive outlook l Be prudent and self-disciplined with your health, emotions, time and money./Be rational — act out of reason not anger, revenge or fear./Know the difference between what you have a right to do and what is right to do./Be self-reliant — manage your life so you are not dependent on others; pay your own way whenever you can
Describe something you've done that was really irresponsible. How did you feel afterward? What did you learn from it?
How to be a responsible person and feel great!
When you agree to do something, do it. If you let people down, they'll stop believing you. When you follow through on your commitments, people take you seriously.
Answer for your own actions. Don't make excuses or blame others for what you do. When you take responsibility for your actions you are saying "I am the one who's in charge of my life."
Take care of your own matters. Don't rely on others to remind you when you're supposed to be somewhere or what you're supposed to bring. You take the responsibility.
Be trustworthy. If somebody trusts you to borrow or take care of something, take care of it. If somebody tells you something in confidence, keep it to yourself. It's important for people to know they can count on you.
Always use your head. Think things through and use good judgment. When you use your head you make better choices. That shows your parents they can trust you.
Don't put things off. When you have a job to do, do it. Doing things on time helps you take control of your life and shows that you can manage your own affairs.
Most adults have a natural ability to decide what’s in and what’s out. Our family of origin, fears, unrealistic expectations, and stressors such as pressure or anxiety sometimes cloud our judgment. The goal is to respond in ways that allow us to make high-quality decisions more often, steering clear of the landmines of false responsibility.
Even when you directly contributed to someone else’s experience, you are not responsible for their feelings or problems.
To accept some responsibility for the situation would require your voluntary consent. I’m not suggesting that you ignore their communication or that you not listen. Indeed, listen carefully and responsibly to their "stuff" – just don’t take it on!
Realizing that it’s their stuff means you need not defend or argue. This is their experience, and it is a fact for them. Let it wash over you.
If you are having a hard time listening without judging, ask them to "speak from first person" – as in, "I understand you feel that I let you down; what was your firsthand experience?"
If necessary, request that they "Start with ‘I …’."
Caring about an outcome is different than having to control it.
Over-caring about a goal doesn’t achieve optimal results – it prevents them! For example, if a manager claims to be fully responsible for all the outcomes of their department , what’s wrong with this picture?
For starters, not all the outcomes are up to that manager. It’s joint responsibility for shared outcomes: the staff does their part and the manager does theirs (hopefully).
Though based on a good intention (caring), taking false responsibility (over-caring) is a setup – a guarantee of overwork, underplay, stress and eventual burnout for a manager, depriving employees of power and recognition.
Of course, not assuming enough responsibility ("Who, me? I’m not even involved…"), would also be a problem. Aloof and detached "under-caring" triggers those who tend to over-care, both going nowhere in a hurry.
Remedy: assume functional and healthy responsibility, which may involve an adjustment in thinking, language and approach.
For example, imagine you’re driving to an appointment on a tight schedule and suddenly there’s a sea of red brake lights in front of you. Do you go into stress or despair ("over-push"), get creative ("Hmmm … how do I part the red sea?"), or sigh and reschedule?
Heading toward an appointment on a tight schedule, you encounter a major delay. Sadly, you left your helicopter in your other suit. You fantasize about driving along the shoulder or pushing cars out of your way. After more than a modest amount of head-banging, you call and reschedule.
Back at the office, your computer commits suicide at the worst possible moment; Bill Gates fails to answer your page. You mentally rehearse a scathing e-mail message (fortunately, it will stay mental due to lack of a keyboard). Can’t we just start over?
The project meeting drags on and people seem to be un-evolving before your eyes; although selection, mutation and extinction are a part of nature, you’d rather not watch it happen at work. The facilitator isn’t helping matters, so you blurt out “You’re a fool with a flipchart!”
What part constitutes false responsibility (hint: head-banging, chewing out Bill Gates, and calling the facilitator names isn’t likely to help you achieve your goals in life – although it certainly may provide momentary stress relief).
Call a “time out” – STOP the action! Shift from external focus (the thing that’s got you upset) to an internal check-in.
Remember (or invent) your goal . “What was my original goal?” Write it down. Then ask yourself: “Why did that goal matter?” or “Why did I want that?” This gets at the bigger picture intention behind your goal, often tapping into what you really want.
3. Ask yourself to “let go” of what’s not working. Soon the so-called “problem” of the moment will quickly melt into a vast stew of “little stuff” – and yes, it’s all little stuff! Ask yourself “Of what could I begin to let go?” or “Could I release part of my need to change this situation and accept ______?” You know what’s been getting in your way.
There is opportunity for innovation. People by nature search for ways to make their job easier – with responsibility, they have authority to take action.
Leadership can discover and promote employees that have demonstrated natural talent for a given skill.
Responsibility reduces the need for mid-level leadership.
Responsibility attracts people who seek to be on the leading edge of technology.
People following orders do not have authority to take action to make their job easier. They have learned not to have an opinion or make their opinion known. They accept the status quo and will fight change.
Where employees only follow orders, natural talent is not recognized or discovered.
Control increases the need for mid-level leadership.
Control attracts people who reject change, they accept their current status.
Examples 11/10/09 Man #1 Man #2 Both men appear to be doing the same amount of work. One is working smart - searching for a better way. The other only follow orders - waiting for the whistle to blow. Which one is which?