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The Repressed Memories
          of
      Iyan Igma



  The Abridged For Your Sanity Edition

Formerly known as Slightly ...
Copyright 2008 by Iyan Igma

Original Copyright of these works would range between 1999­2001 when 
they were written.

Abr...
A Work of Stupidity and Senseless Nonsense 
    Commonly Derided and Labeled
               Slightly Demented.
 Having Now...
To Pat and Eugene Parker, good friends who preserved these memories and 
 introduced me to Cake, one of my favourite bands...
A Note From 7 Years Later

           When I wrote these things, it was in a dark period of my life spanning from 
about t...
The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma


Pat and Eugene's copy will remain as the standard to judge the accuracy of this work...
On the Nature, Intent, and Audience of These Documents

           This collection is not intended for the public at large...
The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma




                                                  Repressed Memories

Poetry.........
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    Commit Murder......................................................................
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    Sickening..........................................................................
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    Tripping Up........................................................................
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    A Return to This Nothingness.......................................................
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    A Doll.............................................................................
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    Perfect Idealist...................................................................
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    The Truth of all Bananas...........................................................
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    Eulogy.............................................................................
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     I Never Claimed I Was.............................................................
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    Ground Beef........................................................................
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     No More Heroes....................................................................
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     Independence......................................................................
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                        Here Beginneth Various Works of                   
        ...
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                                       Chapter I

                                La...
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                                                Nature Lover

   “Love mother nature...
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                                                      Fiend

     I had sex with an ...
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                                        Graveyards

     Graveyards are by far the
 ...
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                                          Dear Freud

   Dear Freud, I don't
   Reca...
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                                           Sycamore

     I put my love in a sycamor...
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                                             Toilet Seats

     An old man caught me...
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                                       Entrance Exam

     I never thought I'd die;
...
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35 I shuffled over and crammed in;
   It was uncomfortable for me.
   To my satisfac...
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                                  Call of the Wild Vikings

     Flee the call of th...
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                                       Heavily Medicated

     Women should stay hea...
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                                       On Monday

   On Monday things happened
   As...
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                                            Regularities

      There've been some n...
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                                             Hypothetices

   What would you do
   I...
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                                        Nu Mecksìckö

   I'm going New Mexico
   Wit...
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                                      Donkey on My Thigh

     Like a donkey on his ...
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The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma

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An assortment of 354 poems, 75 prose ramblings, and 40 B-Sides. This is an adolescent’s collection of poetry, fables, and the random prose wanderings of the mind. It was written from age 16 to 18. They were largely forgotten and lost, but were recently restored to Iyan on Christmas Eve 2007. It is chock full of sarcasm and references to sex and drugs. Many of the works are self-portraits, though notably not those in the first few chapters–the ones Puritans should never read. Topics include: Christianity, Deism, Sin, Love, Santa, Friendship, Ostracism, Nature, the Military, History, Aliens, Murder, Hypocrisy, Fame, Sleep, Zombies, Revenge, Women, Perspective, Bananas, Vampires, TV, Travels, Dreams, Making Beds, and Perfection, et cetera. Some sections that deserve special mention are: *To You, which is a sonnet cycle *Haiku’s to No One, which is a poem written haiku-based stanzas *The Lewd Reference Dictionary, which sets forth the true (and unknown) meanings for expletives *Widdles, which are feeble attempts at riddles.

Available on Amazon at:
http://www.amazon.com/Repressed-Memories-Iyan-Igma-Condensed/dp/1442128151/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1246644285&sr=1-1

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Transcript of "The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma"

  1. 1. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma The Abridged For Your Sanity Edition Formerly known as Slightly Demented in its  draft form.
  2. 2. Copyright 2008 by Iyan Igma Original Copyright of these works would range between 1999­2001 when  they were written. Abridged for Your Sanity: 1st Edition, Paperback ISBN: 1442128151 EAN­13: 978­1442128156 Published by Iyan Igma via CreateSpace.com in Scotts Valley, CA. This   work   is   licensed   under   the   Creative   Commons   Attribution­ Noncommercial­No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License. To view a  copy of this license, visit  http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by­nc­nd/3.0/us/ or send a letter to Creative Commons, 171 Second Street, Suite 300, San  Francisco, California, 94105, USA. In a nutshell, you are allowed to make copies and distribute it long as it is  not altered or done for commercial use, and as long as you give me credit.  Consult the license for further details. Please Note that this is a work of fiction. Any similarities to actual events  or people is coincidental, unless noted. Iyan Igma can be contacted through one of the following ways: ● http://stores.lulu.com/iyanigma ● www.iyanigma.com ● www.createspace.com
  3. 3. A Work of Stupidity and Senseless Nonsense  Commonly Derided and Labeled Slightly Demented. Having Now Been Lost To The Author For Years, They Are As  The Repressed Memor ies of Iyan Igma A gestalt work.
  4. 4. To Pat and Eugene Parker, good friends who preserved these memories and  introduced me to Cake, one of my favourite bands, and George Harrison's  Brainwashed. Jesse You left me here When I was only eleven. When you were but that age, Your father went to heaven. Six years have drearily Passed since 1994. But sometimes without you It seems like a whole lot more.
  5. 5. A Note From 7 Years Later When I wrote these things, it was in a dark period of my life spanning from  about the end of my sixteenth to the beginning of my eighteenth years. I'd had some misfor­ tunate encounters with death, health, love, stress, hypocrisy, and depression. I'd read the  Bible and the classics a few times by then. After overcoming this depression, I later grew disgusted with this work. My copy  I burned, along with the unfinished manuscripts to nine novels of a series that I was  working on, some journals, and other writings. I did not wish to remember that time of my  life. Perhaps it can now be said that there can never be a Complete Works of Iyan Igma,  since most of the original ones have been destroyed. It seemed as if this work was to be lost  forever, as few copies were ever made. One was given to my teacher, Mrs. Buck , though I  am uncertain how much of it she has, or if it still exists. Another continued with my fam­ ily, though it met its untimely demise when the basement flooded. The sonnets and possibly  some other excerpts were given to Katrine Templeman, though their continued existence is  dubious. Perhaps Chris Shaffer, Brandon Cox, and Calvin Barefoot have copies or parts of  it.  The copy that this was taken from was the 5 th  Draft of  Slightly Demented,  which was given to my friends Pat and Eugene Parker. We had lost contact over the years,  and this work was as lost to me as their friendship. My mother had asked me if I still had  a copy of a particular poem, “Waylay,” and I was fortunate enough that I finally heard  from Pat about the same time in December 2007. After visiting with them for a while on  Christmas Eve, 2007, I took the work home and began to retype it feverishly. I had not re­ alized how much I had written. Nor did I realize how much my style has remained con­ stant, and which themes would be unwittingly revisited in the last month of 2007 and first  6 weeks of 2008, as I wrote the majority of my new collection of poems and short stories,  known as The Dementia of Iyan Igma. I was pleased to see what I would call some matu­ rity and improvement in my later work. Some parts are embarrassing, since I'm more of a Puritan than the Deist I used  to be. Many parts are amazing to read. I wrote that when I was 16? Oh, as a note, I didn't drink or do drugs at that time, and I cursed about as  much, though this would probably not be reflected this work. It is clear that I was a youth  in this, just look at the themes. Many parts were written for laughs, as is explained later.  Several reference the Navy, which I was scheduled to join. Some, such as “Bombardment,”  are striking to me now, since they were written long before this post 9/11 mess. In the process of re­typing this, I have only fixed the most essential errors. I have  let the punctuation, grammar, and contrived words remain, since most were largely placed  there purposefully in the beginning. The work will be almost as raw as the original draft,  and hopefully I've introduced few typos in the process. I took out a redundant chapter  page for the poems. The font has been changed. But over all it remains as intact as it was  when I created it for the purposes that I described seven years ago on the following page. 
  6. 6. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma Pat and Eugene's copy will remain as the standard to judge the accuracy of this work by, and this  edition will render their copy a more important possession. There are far fewer footnotes than The Dementia, so use the glossary. There are some nice  Easter eggs in it. This abridged version of Repressed Memories is meant for more of a general audience, if  that term could be said to apply. Several of the poems, many of the B­Sides, the autobiographical in­ formation, and a few of the prose works have been removed. Why? Because, simply put, they were  horrible or unfit for consumption.  Once you read the following works, you will start to wonder ex­ actly how horrible they were. After all, could it really get any worse than what is already found  printed here? ENTRIES Poems:  354 Prose: 75 B­Sides: 40 Words:  86,536± The following were removed: Count, Comte, Earl; Lemon Dependence; Living with a Toe Nail; Kernel; Strange Things with  Camels; Atnalta; Atnalta Revisited; Brian Johnson; The Creatively Named SAT; Tylenol BM; The  Untouchables Commercial; Roller coaster; Crazy; Sinning Out; Speed; High Contrast Twins; The  Dog; Kick me; Broom Sweeper; The Penguinnun; Crashing; Starting; O; Angle of Depression;  Plum­ met; Crying; Rabid Scabied Chihuahua dog; Holy Rollers; Vultures and Condors; Chaste; Naked  Mole Rat; 1 and 1 and 1 is 3; The Smell of Fresh Rubber; The Third Friend on the Outside; Treat  Ladies...; The Quiet Before the Storm; In Sweden There Are No Tow Truck Drivers; most of the Re­ ally Awful One Liners; and some of the Some Less Than Interesting Thoughts.... 7
  7. 7. On the Nature, Intent, and Audience of These Documents This collection is not intended for the public at large. It is not intended to create  controversy and thereby sell copies to those who would madly rush to consume it for that  reason alone. It IS for myself, to point as a guide of future reference as to how I thought  at that dark period of my life known as pre­adulthood, a time that, like the “dark ages” of  Europe, may one day be forgotten like the infant years before it. It is also partially for some  friends and close acquaintances who enjoy some of the stories and such oddities contained  herein. I do not expect them to read all of it. I do not expect them to like all of it. I, myself,  do not like most of it, but it is my thought, as much as I could manage to capture, and I  have some accurséd desire to write and to preserve; a pack rat even of the unspoken. Some things to keep in mind while reading are that there's quite possibly some  sarcasm and satire, that the usage of “an” is gratuitous and not a typo, and that the “I” in  some poems is rarely Iyan Igma. The poetry should be read aloud and, despite what's been  advised, line by line. Also, to any who reads the following and feels that something within  might be said to address them, then I suppose it does. For even though I maybe mean one  thing, everyone is entitled to interpretation. I would like to apologize to any reader who may be offended, myself included.  There will doubtless be a passage that will offend anyone who reads far enough and takes  too much of this seriously to mind. My only advice is read any parts you may enjoy, commit  those to memory, and read nothing else. Ignore those that offend. I feel the need to further  apologize for grammatical mistakes, and such; this is meant to be a raw work of feeling  and youth and not a commercial ploy intended for the bedsides of the world to chew like  bubblegum pop. Sadly, there is e'en a small amount of disgusting, poppy nonsense within;  thankfully I am not proficient in its generation. Lamentably, I am skilled in writing sense­ less nonsense such as the tripe that will follow and in committing the sin of misspelling.  Granted, most of the misspled words are so by choice, but many do not approve. Due to the  unpolished diction and the topics, Slightly Demented is truly a childish work. But what  could you expect from something with such a title and no true unity of thought? The audience by age of this is currently about fifteen and up. I know that I  would not want many kids reading this, and, thankfully, certain limitations such as vocab­ ulary and experience may block them from full comprehension, should they stumble upon  this eyesore. Again, I would like to apologize for constructing something which, while hav­ ing a few good points in my opinion, suffers from the stings of certain obscenities and per­ versions. To read this, the poor lads must take the good with the bad, or, if they are lucky,  discover the good in excerpts contained elsewhere. Some teens get a kick from certain collec­ tions of phrases, but, as happens, they will not enjoy them as much when older. To any other reader who happens to pick this up by chance, reference, or, heaven  forbid!, school, may God have mercy upon your soul. I mean that in the nicest possible way;  you do want Him to love you, don't you?
  8. 8. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma Repressed Memories Poetry....................................................................................................................................22 The Tragically Departed........................................................................................................22 Chapter I  Lacking a Sensible Title.......................................................................23 Nature Lover...............................................................................................................................24 Fiend............................................................................................................................................25 Graveyards...................................................................................................................................26 Dear Freud...................................................................................................................................27 Sycamore......................................................................................................................................28 Toilet Seats..................................................................................................................................29 Entrance Exam............................................................................................................................30 Call of the Wild Vikings..............................................................................................................32 Heavily Medicated.......................................................................................................................33 On Monday..................................................................................................................................34 Regularities..................................................................................................................................35 Hypothetices................................................................................................................................36 Nu Mecksìckö..............................................................................................................................37 Donkey on My Thigh...................................................................................................................38 Chapter II  Why Angels Scream............................................................................41 The Goodwill of Death................................................................................................................43 The Goodwill of Death (Original)................................................................................................44 The Gunslinger.............................................................................................................................45 Contempt of Court.......................................................................................................................46 Invitation....................................................................................................................................48 Eibmoz.........................................................................................................................................50 Hypocrisy, Revengeance Thereon..................................................................................................51 All Their Wildest Dreams............................................................................................................53 Venules.........................................................................................................................................54 Chapter III  As Things Should Be.........................................................................55 Santa Anna and His Elves..........................................................................................................56 About Time..................................................................................................................................58 Let's Burn Venice........................................................................................................................59 Satire Is the Way of Life.............................................................................................................60 9
  9. 9. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma Commit Murder............................................................................................................................61 Medieval Cures............................................................................................................................62 The Origins of the Orthodox Church............................................................................................63 The World Will Get By...............................................................................................................64 Enlightenment.............................................................................................................................65 Fatalist by Nature (Pacifist at Heart).........................................................................................66 The Conquistador's Beard.............................................................................................................67 Stood Up......................................................................................................................................68 A Long­Winded Oversight, 12 Lines...........................................................................................69 Gallantly Priceless.......................................................................................................................70 Bitter Cloning, Tragic Mould.......................................................................................................71 A Cool Drink...............................................................................................................................72 Well, Have You?..........................................................................................................................73 Mommas.......................................................................................................................................74 Criticisms and Bitterness.............................................................................................................75 Apology to the Underappreciated................................................................................................76 Chapter IV  As Things Are....................................................................................77 On Making Beds..........................................................................................................................78 Nuclear Fiend..............................................................................................................................79 Somewhat Free Verse on Socialism..............................................................................................80 Cliché............................................................................................................................................81 Spangles.......................................................................................................................................82 He Who Said Never.....................................................................................................................83 Lacking Style or Era or Form......................................................................................................84 You've Created.............................................................................................................................85 Everyone Is Changing..................................................................................................................86 No Controversy............................................................................................................................87 Psycho­Physiological Disorder.....................................................................................................88 Warsaw, Romance Therein...........................................................................................................89 Cur...............................................................................................................................................90 Fame............................................................................................................................................91 Consensual Fornications..............................................................................................................92 Portraying Disrespect: an American Scene..................................................................................93 Gnashing Hurt.............................................................................................................................94 Lust Is in Desire..........................................................................................................................95 Bryant Jennings...........................................................................................................................96 A Quiz.........................................................................................................................................97 Oh Fudge.....................................................................................................................................98 10
  10. 10. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma Sickening......................................................................................................................................99 Cinema Trivial............................................................................................................................100 Dark Blue Pride.........................................................................................................................101 Bagels (Lenders).........................................................................................................................102 Bee Ess.......................................................................................................................................103 Face in Curtains.........................................................................................................................104 Eye of the Beholder....................................................................................................................105 When You've Slept.....................................................................................................................107 Bitterness Ruins.........................................................................................................................108 Humility.....................................................................................................................................109 Long, Narratively Sporadic Poems.............................................................................................110 Bringing on Contention.............................................................................................................111 Profitable...................................................................................................................................112 Decaffeinated Blue....................................................................................................................113 The Steel Decanter.....................................................................................................................114 Nylon Pant................................................................................................................................115 Twos...........................................................................................................................................116 Surreal Killer..............................................................................................................................117 Better Vision..............................................................................................................................118 Chapter V  Urea...................................................................................................119 Elf..............................................................................................................................................120 Odd Sensation............................................................................................................................121 Venice........................................................................................................................................122 Vegetable Love...........................................................................................................................123 Adam's Rib................................................................................................................................124 Worldly......................................................................................................................................125 Waylay.......................................................................................................................................126 Without the Words....................................................................................................................127 Cold Sins....................................................................................................................................128 Digestive Processes....................................................................................................................129 An Idyll Goddess Whom One Cannot Help But to Revere........................................................130 Venice.........................................................................................................................................131 S. Mooching...............................................................................................................................132 Chapter VI  To You..............................................................................................133 Nothings....................................................................................................................................134 Shour Drapes.............................................................................................................................135 Ashore........................................................................................................................................136 Golden Tips................................................................................................................................137 11
  11. 11. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma Tripping Up...............................................................................................................................138 To Differ....................................................................................................................................139 Olivia.........................................................................................................................................140 Olive...........................................................................................................................................141 Onion.........................................................................................................................................142 Weakening.................................................................................................................................143 Vanguard...................................................................................................................................144 Entitlements..............................................................................................................................145 Fleece.........................................................................................................................................146 Unrestrainéd Passion Prevents Clear Thought...........................................................................147 Addiction on the Mind..............................................................................................................148 Expected....................................................................................................................................149 Volve..........................................................................................................................................150 Groggy Mumblings.....................................................................................................................151 1280x1024x32bpp.....................................................................................................................152 Demanotation............................................................................................................................153 Curiae.........................................................................................................................................154 Moors.........................................................................................................................................155 Pebbles.......................................................................................................................................156 Sri Lanka...................................................................................................................................157 Chapter VII  All My Friends..............................................................................158 To the Dearly Regarded..............................................................................................................159 Golden........................................................................................................................................160 You So Mean..............................................................................................................................161 Nice in a New Year's Kind of Way............................................................................................162 Musician....................................................................................................................................163 I'm Sorry....................................................................................................................................164 Lump of Clay.............................................................................................................................165 Walnut Shell..............................................................................................................................166 Empty Crush..............................................................................................................................167 Makes Me Sick...........................................................................................................................168 Self Destructor...........................................................................................................................169 Insults on the Trampoline..........................................................................................................170 Pecan Man.................................................................................................................................171 Genetically Engineered...............................................................................................................172 Braggart of Unworthy Boasts...................................................................................................173 Take It, Easy..............................................................................................................................174 Prejudice Fades...........................................................................................................................175 12
  12. 12. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma A Return to This Nothingness....................................................................................................176 Mea Culpa..................................................................................................................................177 Penguins on My Own................................................................................................................178 Tally...........................................................................................................................................179 Burned Out Beacon...................................................................................................................180 Taste in Decisions......................................................................................................................181 For a Split Second......................................................................................................................182 .Jpg............................................................................................................................................183 E'ery Thing Changes You...........................................................................................................184 Pampers......................................................................................................................................185 Packaging...................................................................................................................................186 A Mus........................................................................................................................................187 Poetic Interference.....................................................................................................................188 Fact Smiles.................................................................................................................................189 Pluto and Charon.......................................................................................................................190 Feef............................................................................................................................................192 Will............................................................................................................................................193 Upon Awakening.......................................................................................................................194 Chapter VIII  All Things Great and Small.........................................................195 Gluck.........................................................................................................................................196 So...............................................................................................................................................197 Joshing? Me?.............................................................................................................................198 A Philiac's Metamorphoses........................................................................................................199 Chapter IX  Haiku's for No One..........................................................................201 Sweetness...................................................................................................................................201 Silk.............................................................................................................................................201 Conditioner................................................................................................................................201 Pools...........................................................................................................................................201 Lips............................................................................................................................................201 A Taste.......................................................................................................................................202 Tegument...................................................................................................................................202 Thermal Need.............................................................................................................................202 Llama.........................................................................................................................................202 Camel.........................................................................................................................................202 Indecencies.................................................................................................................................202 Necking......................................................................................................................................202 Objectivity.................................................................................................................................203 Thailand.....................................................................................................................................203 13
  13. 13. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma A Doll........................................................................................................................................203 A Right to Bear.........................................................................................................................203 Obelisks......................................................................................................................................203 Washington...............................................................................................................................203 Semi­Very Precious....................................................................................................................203 Singing How She Does..............................................................................................................204 Licking? Good............................................................................................................................204 Placement...................................................................................................................................204 Jojo.............................................................................................................................................204 Maybe........................................................................................................................................204 Chapter X  Travels................................................................................................205 Bridges.......................................................................................................................................206 Mendeleev..................................................................................................................................208 My White Love.........................................................................................................................209 Fief.............................................................................................................................................210 Deflowering Fields....................................................................................................................211 Ruins of the Present Day...........................................................................................................212 You No Be Existing...................................................................................................................213 Geneses.......................................................................................................................................214 An Abbey Row...........................................................................................................................215 Chapter XI  Weed.................................................................................................216 Strawberry..................................................................................................................................217 Dreaming In...............................................................................................................................218 Pink­Scarred Skies......................................................................................................................219 Star............................................................................................................................................220 Wild...........................................................................................................................................221 Split Apart.................................................................................................................................222 War of the Roses........................................................................................................................223 Supernova..................................................................................................................................224 Meteors Must Land Somewhere................................................................................................225 Chapter XII  Pelham Renaissance.......................................................................226 Omnivenicient............................................................................................................................228 Why Do I Always Hear Screams...............................................................................................230 Erroneous Misconceptions.........................................................................................................231 Armed Forces.............................................................................................................................232 Chapter XIII  Perfection.....................................................................................233 That Which Offends Due to Its Unquestionable Filth.............................................................234 14
  14. 14. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma Perfect Idealist...........................................................................................................................235 If I Were Omniscient.................................................................................................................236 The Perfect Couch......................................................................................................................237 Perfect Image.............................................................................................................................238 Chapter XIV  Social Ills......................................................................................239 Generation of Suckers................................................................................................................240 Armed Boxing............................................................................................................................241 Lusting......................................................................................................................................243 Defamation................................................................................................................................244 In Heat......................................................................................................................................245 Take It from the Top..................................................................................................................246 Cereal.........................................................................................................................................247 Envy Me, Fools.........................................................................................................................248 Artificial Drinks........................................................................................................................249 Improvements.............................................................................................................................250 Chumps.......................................................................................................................................251 Eyece..........................................................................................................................................252 Not Just a Name........................................................................................................................253 A Friend, A Fan, A Wouldn't­Be Lover...................................................................................254 Chapter XV  Seasons of Christianity...................................................................255 The Falling of the Leaves..........................................................................................................256 Already Got One?......................................................................................................................257 Services......................................................................................................................................258 Quasi­Cultural Perspective........................................................................................................259 Being Made in the Image of a Deity, and Other Examples of Utility......................................260 Role Model.................................................................................................................................261 Pardon, Could You Spare Some Assistance?..............................................................................262 Defense of Clones, Not of Cloning.............................................................................................263 Jesus the Polygamist..................................................................................................................266 Basking and Asking...................................................................................................................267 If Deists Were Deer...................................................................................................................268 A Condemnation, Like Many Things (I Write).........................................................................269 Nigh Bouts................................................................................................................................270 Chapter XVI  Sin Colored Glasses.......................................................................271 She Wore Smiling Flowers.........................................................................................................272 Dreaming the Sweet Dream.......................................................................................................273 Silent Thief.................................................................................................................................274 A Banana...................................................................................................................................275 15
  15. 15. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma The Truth of all Bananas...........................................................................................................276 One Simple Blunder...................................................................................................................277 Real World.................................................................................................................................278 Fear The.....................................................................................................................................279 Fear Is.......................................................................................................................................280 Fear In.......................................................................................................................................281 Fear For.....................................................................................................................................282 Alien Nation..............................................................................................................................283 Amnesia.....................................................................................................................................284 Pax Gaea....................................................................................................................................285 Voice of Temptation...................................................................................................................286 Chapter XVII  Crime to Smile.............................................................................287 I'm a Wussy...............................................................................................................................288 Navy..........................................................................................................................................289 The Jest......................................................................................................................................290 Laughter's Medicine..................................................................................................................291 Why I like Penguins Better.......................................................................................................292 Slave..........................................................................................................................................293 Am I Nothing Then?..................................................................................................................294 Little Girls.................................................................................................................................295 Bombardment.............................................................................................................................297 Chapter XVIII  Spectacles for Love....................................................................298 A Million Miles.........................................................................................................................299 Adam et Eve..............................................................................................................................300 Loved.........................................................................................................................................301 Love Like Tow'ring Hands........................................................................................................302 If................................................................................................................................................303 Breaking Up..............................................................................................................................304 Regret.........................................................................................................................................305 And She Was Crying..................................................................................................................306 To Forgive..................................................................................................................................308 Forgive.......................................................................................................................................309 Forgiveness.................................................................................................................................310 An Eye for a Cry........................................................................................................................311 Communicate..............................................................................................................................312 Spastic........................................................................................................................................313 No One.......................................................................................................................................314 To all the Ones...........................................................................................................................315 16
  16. 16. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma Eulogy........................................................................................................................................316 Chapter XIX  Loathe............................................................................................317 How Do I Loathe Thee..............................................................................................................318 Cast Your Tears..........................................................................................................................319 Eva Rhea...................................................................................................................................320 Mute..........................................................................................................................................321 Souleful Compassion..................................................................................................................322 Malicious, But True...................................................................................................................323 Paint Thinner Chips...................................................................................................................324 Cur­Aid......................................................................................................................................325 Illegitimate Father.....................................................................................................................326 Chapter XX  ¡Wow!.............................................................................................327 Hamiltonian Perversions............................................................................................................328 Mercen.......................................................................................................................................331 Procreatory Success....................................................................................................................332 Chapter XXI  Sellout...........................................................................................334 Brutally Honest.........................................................................................................................335 M. Poster Boy............................................................................................................................336 Privation....................................................................................................................................337 Concise Interruptions................................................................................................................338 How Truly Weird It Is Others Can See My Words...................................................................339 The Zenith of Oblivion..............................................................................................................340 Disdain from Wittenburg Castle................................................................................................341 Hardly Deep...............................................................................................................................342 Dialectal....................................................................................................................................343 Wary..........................................................................................................................................344 Chapter XXII  Secret Agenda Man.....................................................................345 Meticulous.................................................................................................................................346 I Wish I Could Say No..............................................................................................................347 Whispers....................................................................................................................................348 W Turn Off the Lights..............................................................................................................349 Retrograde Amnesia...................................................................................................................350 Grade.Average............................................................................................................................351 It Started In December..............................................................................................................352 Some on My Eighteenth Year....................................................................................................353 Pods for Transportation.............................................................................................................354 Always the Exception................................................................................................................355 17
  17. 17. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma I Never Claimed I Was..............................................................................................................356 Meaningless Depression.............................................................................................................357 Dead People...............................................................................................................................358 Spellings.....................................................................................................................................359 Depths of Dubious Deception...................................................................................................360 Ground­Lovers...........................................................................................................................361 Inkéd Blood's Transpiration......................................................................................................362 No One Ever Notices.................................................................................................................363 Ireun..........................................................................................................................................364 Myself........................................................................................................................................365 Packaging Peanuts [Safety].......................................................................................................368 Without a Mind's Eye...............................................................................................................369 Amoebic Pseudopod...................................................................................................................370 Infallible....................................................................................................................................371 Chapter XXIII  Doors..........................................................................................372 A Valediction: Truth..................................................................................................................373 A Valediction to Innocence........................................................................................................374 A Valediction: Forbidding Morning..........................................................................................375 To What Was: a Valediction.....................................................................................................376 It's the Goodbyes That Count....................................................................................................377 Dark Blue..................................................................................................................................379 Prose...................................................................................................................................380 Chapter XXV..............................................................................................................................381 Bananas.....................................................................................................................................381 Bananas Re­visited....................................................................................................................382 Messy Breakup..........................................................................................................................383 High School Love.......................................................................................................................385 High School Love: 2...................................................................................................................386 Death Rides a Green Bicycle......................................................................................................388 A Tall Smooth Shaft..................................................................................................................391 If Deer Were Deists...................................................................................................................394 AA Meetings..............................................................................................................................397 Sleepy Date................................................................................................................................398 Santa..........................................................................................................................................400 Knowledge and Excommunication............................................................................................401 The Naked Mole Rat and the Penguin.......................................................................................402 Pygmy........................................................................................................................................403 Scales.........................................................................................................................................404 18
  18. 18. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma Ground Beef...............................................................................................................................405 Mandibles..................................................................................................................................407 The Pimp and the Pheromone Rose Garden................................................................................408 In the Off Season.......................................................................................................................409 Chapter XXIV  Letters and Epistles....................................................................411 Literature Springs from Bloodshed............................................................................................411 If Adam and Eve Were Greek....................................................................................................412 The Sexuality of Virgin Olive Oil (and Other Perishables).........................................................412 Truth about Bambi....................................................................................................................413 The Real Story of Frankenstein..................................................................................................414 Organic.......................................................................................................................................415 I'm Here for You.........................................................................................................................416 Some Thoughts on Female Brain Shrinkage...............................................................................417 Just Because You're Out of the Valley Doesn't Mean the Hill or Mountain Is That Great......417 Mothers Know Because of Chromosomes”.................................................................................418 Genetics......................................................................................................................................418 Extinction..................................................................................................................................419 Is Nature Alive..........................................................................................................................419 The Appropriateness of Hymen..................................................................................................420 On Vampires...............................................................................................................................421 Why the Irish Fight...................................................................................................................422 Misunderstandings Expand the Vocabulary.............................................................................422 Balances of New Ideas..............................................................................................................423 Innocence to Corruption to Mindset.........................................................................................424 Innocence Left Unattended......................................................................................................424 A New Brave World..................................................................................................................425 Men Should Be Islands.............................................................................................................426 Humans Are Not Made to Be Alone..........................................................................................427 Banana Republic........................................................................................................................427 Conscience..................................................................................................................................428 Reflections upon My Shrinking World......................................................................................429 Death.........................................................................................................................................429 Death, Part 2: Processed Meat..................................................................................................430 Television...................................................................................................................................430 Friendship..................................................................................................................................431 Beggars Are Choosers.................................................................................................................432 Infection....................................................................................................................................433 Just Say No................................................................................................................................433 19
  19. 19. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma No More Heroes.........................................................................................................................434 The Future Is Escape and Death...............................................................................................435 Truth Is the Worst Sin...............................................................................................................436 Why a Trapped Animal Is the Most Deadly.............................................................................436 Which Murder Is More Unnatural?..........................................................................................437 50% of the Right Choices...........................................................................................................438 The Once and Future Innocence................................................................................................438 Religious Prejudice.....................................................................................................................439 Terrorism....................................................................................................................................440 The Joys of Sin...........................................................................................................................441 Cult............................................................................................................................................441 Anti­Agnostic............................................................................................................................442 Think You're In Love.................................................................................................................442 Friendship: Again......................................................................................................................443 Huh............................................................................................................................................443 Chapter XXV  Lewd Reference Dictionary.........................................................444 Some Reasons I Like Computers More Than the People That Operate Them.............................446 The New English Handbook for Starting and Maintaining Your Cult.....................................447 Advice for/During the Wooing of a Woman.............................................................................449 Some Less Than Interesting Thoughts, Musings, and Not so Witty Banter to Ponder or to   Spout in Everyday Conversation................................................................................................451 Widdles......................................................................................................................................455 Shots..........................................................................................................................................464 B­Sides................................................................................................................................465 Chapter XXVI  B­Sides.......................................................................................466 Life............................................................................................................................................467 Dressing Up...............................................................................................................................468 Circumstance..............................................................................................................................469 Rego...........................................................................................................................................470 Screw the Farmers! <There's More of “Us” Anyways>..............................................................471 If Kept Busy..............................................................................................................................472 Planning.....................................................................................................................................473 Love............................................................................................................................................474 The Jungle..................................................................................................................................476 Set Me........................................................................................................................................479 Repression..................................................................................................................................480 The Black Rose...........................................................................................................................481 Sing Along.................................................................................................................................482 20
  20. 20. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma Independence.............................................................................................................................483 Almost........................................................................................................................................484 Bloodstained Tears.....................................................................................................................485 Everyman...................................................................................................................................486 Left in the Weeds......................................................................................................................487 Manic Depressive......................................................................................................................488 Masochism Schism.....................................................................................................................489 My Fellow Americans................................................................................................................490 Not a Night for Love.................................................................................................................491 On the Back of a Sign................................................................................................................492 Sorrow's Song............................................................................................................................493 Dinner........................................................................................................................................496 Tucked Away in the Silent Corner..............................................................................................497 The Last.....................................................................................................................................498 Tears to Set Love.......................................................................................................................499 Immobilized Victim...................................................................................................................500 Lingering....................................................................................................................................501 Why?.........................................................................................................................................502 Cry.............................................................................................................................................503 Groan.........................................................................................................................................504 Wide Open Eyes........................................................................................................................505 Separations................................................................................................................................507 Bloodstained Hands...................................................................................................................508 Out of Touch..............................................................................................................................509 Disadvantages/Advantages.......................................................................................................510 His Own Island.........................................................................................................................512 Appendices..........................................................................................................................513 Thesaurus/Glossary of Terms Used Herein................................................................................514 A Commentary...........................................................................................................................545 Thoughts on Slightly Demented.................................................................................................553 ABOUT THE AUTHOR..........................................................................................................555 21
  21. 21. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma Here Beginneth Various Works of   Poetry As Followeth Art In Ill­Defined Chapters The Tragically Departed This is dedicated to the tragically departed; The ones who had to leave when, alas, their lives had only started. This is dedicated to the ones we all shall miss, Whose kind souls and pure camaraderie filled our souls with bliss. This is dedicated to the ones who've passed away; They're singing with the angels now where it is ever day. There once was a young promising scholar at my school Who had a light heart indeed, yet was no one's fool. John Ross Collins was sorely mourned when his candle burned out, But his legacy of wit and wisdom shall be with us these years throughout. J.R., we really miss you and hate the gun that took you away Via unfortunate circumstance to be with the One to whom we pray. Often it seems one doesn't realize how one cares for those around, And, sadly, through departure the depth of care is found. Shirice was gifted and endowed with the ability to draw, But it was, perhaps, not this but her strength and kindness that friends saw. If she were here upon this day, there is no telling what she would say, But it can be appreciated of Ms. Travis that she saw in many shades of gray. It was dark and desolate when the winds came in all their might To escort this dearly beloved to where cometh no night. 22
  22. 22. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma Chapter I Lacking a Sensible Title It seems I've found something Which I never thought I'd lost. It was at the barrel's bottom Under brick layers of frost. 5 I rejoiced to rediscover This gift that was gone, But where did I place it When I answered the phone? 23
  23. 23. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma Nature Lover “Love mother nature!” Were the words that he heard. Immediately he went out To do bad things with a bird. 5 It's okay in the South To love nature—your mother. But it's rather risqué1 To love one's oaken brother. He was raised in climes 10 That bred incest; It was only natural he fondled His piney sister's knotty breast. This dendrophiliac2 was eventually found. “I was loving nature!” he cried. 15 “Which is why we're bringing you in; The goat's died.” 1 Risqué: racy or naughty 2 Dendrophiliac: an intimate lover of trees 24
  24. 24. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma Fiend I had sex with an alien, But she was over sixteen. So everything was kosher3, You know what I mean. 5 It may have been an abduction, But it was not rape, For I gladly consented; Even got the whole thing on tape. To me there's nothing like 10 Green­speckled blue skin. Just pondering over it Makes me desire it again. She really liked my pants, Was dying to get in; 15 I took them off, and That's when the magic did begin. Now I'm bearing our love child, But the judge says I get no palimony4. I guess he doesn't believe in aliens 20 And thinks I'm some kind of phony. 3 Kosher: okay 4 Palimony: payment made to support a former intimate 25
  25. 25. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma Graveyards Graveyards are by far the World's most romantic places. There is nothing quite as Thrilling as rotting faces. 5 Mausoleums are quite Like a private hotel; An cultured girl Will not mind the smell Of rotting death and  10 Granite and dew. If she's squeamish bring Her flowers or glue To sniff. Grab a meal and Converse before you take a walk 15 Around, because you'll be too Preoccupied to wish to talk Once emotion takes hold And you lie to rest on A plot that was sold 20 To some other being. 26
  26. 26. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma Dear Freud Dear Freud, I don't Recall us ever having met, But you would analyze me More than I could possibly forget. 5 Some might call me slightly demented, You might call me male; But at least I don't have envy Or the libido of a snail. If everything's connected 10 As you believe, Then there are no levels Of perversion I cannot achieve! 27
  27. 27. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma Sycamore I put my love in a sycamore tree To let her sobre out, For she breathes jack o' the daniels And is a drunken lout. 5 I put my love in a sycamore tree Because she likes to scream and shout, But, when I climbed up to bring her down, She tried to push me out. I put my love in a sycamore tree, 10 But she didn't seem to care; All that she did was ignore me And play with the birdies there. I put my love in a sycamore tree With the winds and rains and snow 15 Blowing harshly around her ears, But none of this phased her, though. I put my love in a sycamore tree, Perchance I should've put her in a bush. For now, when I try to talk , 20 She but merely tells me “shush.” I put my love in a sycamore tree, And I regret the day I did; For my love jumped right out, Ran away, and hid. 28
  28. 28. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma Toilet Seats An old man caught me by surprise one day When on a pier he thumped my thigh. I spun about from fishing inquisitively And found an odd look in his eye. 5 It seemed rather glazed over, and The other orb was of plain brown wood. The effect and expression his repelling eyes Achieved, no cross­eyed kid's could. My moment of awe was interrupted 10 When his glazed eye began to dance To each forceful syllable That he uttered in his trance. He went into convulsions, Snapped out and said, “Please,” 15 Something or the other; The rest was in Vietnamese. I was going to seek a new fishing spot When he spouted his life's story. He rather especially stressed 20 One of his moments of glory. “I had to train my wife, boy, To put up the toilet seat; If I can put it down for her, Then she could put it up for me.” 25 It was then I regarded Him as crazy; I looked into his eyes, The wooden one was lazy. 29
  29. 29. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma Entrance Exam I never thought I'd die; I'd been around so long. But one day I was shot For singing a country song. 5 Everything became misty, But I stumbled through the smoke Only to find some gates and This guy. This is what he spoke. “You've got to pass this test 10 To gain admission into heaven; God rather dislikes people With IQ's of only seven. The test has no lies, just Multiple Choice, TrueFalse; 15 It doesn't matter if you can Sing and dance or do a waltz. Smiles and good works Can't get you in my city, Neither can Faith 20 Hill or a charming ditty. Complete in No. 2 lead, Sign in blue ink where needed. Go tell Old St. Pete When this exam you have completed. 25 If you fail this battery,5 You should've listened in school, For it's only reading, writing, 'Rithmetic, not prophesying, fool.” I told him I only had No. 3 lead 30 And an pink ink pen. I found that remark amusing,  But he didn't bother to grin. He pointed over by the gates To a desk that was rather wee6. 5 Battery: exam, test 6 Wee: small 30
  30. 30. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma 35 I shuffled over and crammed in; It was uncomfortable for me. To my satisfaction, the test contained Vast amounts of geometry; I had aced the math portion 40 With a 210 on the SAT. So maybe I'm not meant for heaven As far as tests are concerned. But I'd climb those off­white gates Afore I'd get scorched and burned. 45 But, really, there's no need for that Since the gates have no abutting wall. I'd prefer to walk right in Than risk another death from the fall. 31
  31. 31. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma Call of the Wild Vikings Flee the call of the wild Vikings, They've come to steal your soul, Your smallclothes and your nostrils, And emptiness from its hole. 5 For the unstoppable wild Vikings The duty of war is fun. If they'd wanted anguish and pain, they'd Be home with wives and everyone. What other occupation allows 10 For the despoilment of an horse Or the pillaging of women? Ah, it's good to be Norse, As parenting involves The burning of other's children, 15 And stealing entire villages Is not counted as a sin. Norsemen seek honor, feats, Exploits, mead, and gold. Plus, they don't fear death, 20 For, in the end, all are mold. 32
  32. 32. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma Heavily Medicated Women should stay heavily medicated; They're more receptive to my lack of charm. Thus, with the use of some overused Lines they'll gravitate to my arm. 5 All of my best experiences In Romance have been with drugs. To my great dismay I have not The playa powers of thugs. But do not get me wrong; I didn't 10 Take advantage of these lasses. I was being myself, when they Warmed to me. Must've been the glasses. I was unaccustomed To these perplexing anomalies. 15 Always later I find out That I've been used by druggies. And to my blissful case Of ignorance I plead That I deserve these happenings 20 For the disappointing love life I lead. 33
  33. 33. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma On Monday On Monday things happened As they've normally done before: In inefficient turmoil and boredom Whilst I walked across the floor 5 Following the lead and guidance Of a crack­baby puppy Whose harlotrous dam bred Like a nymphomaniac guppy, Judging from the number of siblings 10 Trotting round me with four­legged woes And withdrawal. Each is rummaging Through alien baggage with the nose, With sniffyllis's wet snorting; a germ's Moistly chilled fragrant monumental landform. 15 Occasionally one limply collapses after Sniffing government crack or chloroform. 34
  34. 34. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma Regularities There've been some nasty rumours Concerning why I can't maintain a job. It seems the opinion of the public Mandates that I'm a slob. 5 But if they only knew Life is but misconceptions, They'd have long since stopped postulating for Other's imaginary directions. Truth be known, joblessness informs 10 Me of the status of my physique, As I am administered physicals Almost every other week. I frequent a room with latex Gloves where the air is crisply cold. 15 There I must run in place and Obediently do as I am told. What would they do for love, Wealth, or a just7 measure? Lie down, anything, and protest like 20 Their gossip about my pleasure. 7 Just: fair 35
  35. 35. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma Hypothetices What would you do If your freckles were blue? Would you marry me? I'm just one with toes 5 Who likes to propose And formulate hypothetices8. If there were none else Besides the Celts Would you dye yourself with wode? 10 I'm a desperately settling guy Who'd accept even a lie, Though most tell me to hit the road. 8 Hypothetices: hypothetical situations 36
  36. 36. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma Nu Mecksìckö I'm going New Mexico With curtains on my car; Not to shade my eyes On a journey that far. 5 See, I may be lucky, If fortune is with me, And I would not want The whole world to see The adventures of my 10 Honey I have newly met, Unless they pay to see Us on the Internet. Curtains make it legal by Some disturbing legal action 15 To make the uncomfortable Back seat a place of satisfaction. 37
  37. 37. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma Donkey on My Thigh Like a donkey on his thigh Pale as coffee creamer, Sat this greedily braying, Compulsive little screamer. 5 If that derrière had a Tail with which to swat flies, Then it would be wagging back And forth lashing nose and eyes. “Look , kid, I'm not Santa.” 10 The elf he'd ever feared. “This is called a goatee; It is not a beard. Did someone put you up to this?” Questioned the drunken hippie's voice, 15 Which for some reason caused the child To toothily grin and rejoice. Pointing from the park bench Into the blinding rays To where the bells'd ring on 20 Wintry and generous days, The lad assigned the culprit a Figure, he who'd sent him to thigh. After the sun Jonat was color­ Blind and had splotches before the eye. 25 Blinking quickly for a moment, Thus did he himself entertain, Until the miscreant's recognition Caused him to refrain. Jonat noted then the 30 Kid's ears were pointy, too. Tugging, they were indeed Naturally affixèd not with glue. Jonat would have fled Could Santa not fly, 35 But Santa walked over And began with, “Hi, 38

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