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Conflict & Conversations            Conversation: A Verbal expression of ideas, opinions, and emotions            between t...
What Will We Explore?                        2               ■ What Am I About?               ■ The Impact of Conversation...
Practice            Practice, Practice, PracticeMonday, June 18, 12
The Impact of            Conversational            ProblemsMonday, June 18, 12
Impact : Stress                                                                                5               ■ Pain & Su...
Impact: Motivational Loss          6            ■ “Why bother” attitude sets in            ■ Decreased productivity       ...
How do you avoid these?               7               ■ Pain & Suffering               ■ Lower Energy Levels              ...
Clients From Hell                                 8                      ■ How would you react to these                   ...
Clients From Hell                                                                     9                      ■ "The only t...
Clients From Hell            Return To Hades                                                                              ...
Clients From Hell                                 11                      ■ What might be your next line of               ...
A Look Into            Conversations            A Verbal expression of ideas, opinions, and emotions between two or more p...
Audience Activity                                                 13               ■ FIND A PERSON NEXT TO YOU            ...
Audience Activity                                        14                            ■ THE TALKER SCENARIO:             ...
Audience Activity                                            15               ■ GUESS THE BEHAVIOR                      No...
Audience Activity                                         16               ■ Did you discover that it was hard to identify...
Mini Recap                                            17               ■ Conversations Cause Negative & Positive Impact   ...
Problem Conversation Types       18               ■ Known Conversations               ■ The Unknown ConversationsMonday, J...
“During the course of seven years I            played scenes with an oil slick,            I played a scene with a grain o...
Unknown            Conversations                20               ■ Hallway Conversations               ■ Poop & Swoop     ...
Primal Instincts                                         21           “Under great stress the process of thinking is usual...
In A Critical Conversation   22         ■ Your Pulse Quickens         ■ Confusion Sets in         ■ Decision Making is Dif...
How Can You Control A            Critical Conversation?   23                           ?                 ?                ...
C.A.L.M                    24             Control Your Breathing             Assess Your Goal             Look For Signs  ...
Control Your Breathing                       25            ■ 1, 2 , 3 - Deep Breaths            ■ Reduce Your Stress Level...
Assess Your Goal                              26            ■ What’s Your True Goal?            ■ Is It Achievable in This...
Look For The Signs           27            ■ Behavioral & Verbal Cues            ■ Goal Jumping            ■ StalematesMon...
Move Towards            Your Goal                            28            ■ Form Positive Conversation Paths            ■...
Conversational            Techniques                                                     29            ■ ESTABLISH SAFETY ...
5 Keys To Successful            Conversation!                                               30            ■ STAY C.A.L.M  ...
Resources To Further Your            Knowledge                   31Monday, June 18, 12
Successful Conversations            A Verbal expression of ideas, opinions, and emotions between two or more people.      ...
Successful Conversations              A Verbal expression of ideas, opinions, and emotions between two or more people.    ...
Successful Conversations            A Verbal expression of ideas, opinions, and emotions between two or more people.      ...
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Conflicts & Conversations

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Presentation given at Big Design 2012. Inside we take a look at preparing to have difficult conversations.

Take a look at a one simple method to help get your emotions under control when you are in the heat of battle.

Published in: Business, Technology
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Transcript of "Conflicts & Conversations"

  1. 1. Conflict & Conversations Conversation: A Verbal expression of ideas, opinions, and emotions between two or more people. Ways To Reach Me: @uidesignguide uidesignguide.com clearsitedesigns.com prestonmccauley.com Preston McCauleyMonday, June 18, 12
  2. 2. What Will We Explore? 2 ■ What Am I About? ■ The Impact of Conversational Problems ■ A Look Into Conversations ■ Behaviors To Practice ■ Key RemindersMonday, June 18, 12
  3. 3. Practice Practice, Practice, PracticeMonday, June 18, 12
  4. 4. The Impact of Conversational ProblemsMonday, June 18, 12
  5. 5. Impact : Stress 5 ■ Pain & Suffering ■ Lower Energy Levels ■ Uncontrollable Feelings ■ According To: AMA © 2012 American Heart Association, Inc.Monday, June 18, 12
  6. 6. Impact: Motivational Loss 6 ■ “Why bother” attitude sets in ■ Decreased productivity ■ Fun work becomes less excitingMonday, June 18, 12
  7. 7. How do you avoid these? 7 ■ Pain & Suffering ■ Lower Energy Levels ■ Uncontrollable Feelings ■ “Why bother” attitude sets in ■ Decreased productivity ■ Fun work becomes less excitingMonday, June 18, 12
  8. 8. Clients From Hell 8 ■ How would you react to these statements if they were directed at you?Monday, June 18, 12
  9. 9. Clients From Hell 9 ■ "The only thing that you can do is take your design and throw it in the fucking garbage!" ■ "It’s perfect! Just one thing. We have that contact form on Contact Us page, I want you to remove that and give our email address instead. And make it into a riddle so they have to solve it to get the email. We want to ‘engage’ our visitors." ■ "I’m not paying you anything extra to do the website because it is simply a matter of pushing the right buttons. I know how to push buttons." Source: Clientsfromhell.netMonday, June 18, 12
  10. 10. Clients From Hell Return To Hades 10 ■ CLIENT: I’m not too sure about the blue… ■ ME: Actually, that’s green. ■ CLIENT: Who’s the client? ■ ME: You. ■ CLIENT: And what color is it? ■ ME: …blue? ■ CLIENT: Right. Now let me see what other shades of blue we have. We settled on pine-tree ”blue. Source: Clientsfromhell.netMonday, June 18, 12
  11. 11. Clients From Hell 11 ■ What might be your next line of dialog? ■ Do you feel you were crafting a response to the uncomfortable situation or responding more out of instinct?Monday, June 18, 12
  12. 12. A Look Into Conversations A Verbal expression of ideas, opinions, and emotions between two or more people.Monday, June 18, 12
  13. 13. Audience Activity 13 ■ FIND A PERSON NEXT TO YOU ■ DESIGNATE ONE PERSON THE TALKER Should be the only only one talking. ■ THE OTHER PERSON BECOMES THE LISTENER Instead of talking you should be taking notes about anything you find interesting about the talker. Things like behavior, eye twitches, voice inflection, etc....Monday, June 18, 12
  14. 14. Audience Activity 14 ■ THE TALKER SCENARIO: You are the executive upset with the design manager missing a crucial timeline this morning. This slip delays the product launch. The company will lose thousands of dollars each day the product doesn’t launch. This is not the first time this has happened. ■ Be Vocal ■ Be Over The Top ■ Be HystericalMonday, June 18, 12
  15. 15. Audience Activity 15 ■ GUESS THE BEHAVIOR Now comes the hard part. The talker must try and guess what items the The listener wrote down.Monday, June 18, 12
  16. 16. Audience Activity 16 ■ Did you discover that it was hard to identify your own behavior?Monday, June 18, 12
  17. 17. Mini Recap 17 ■ Conversations Cause Negative & Positive Impact ■ No Two Situations Are Alike ■ Understanding & Controlling Behavior is Key ■ Practice ■ “Clients From Hell Site” is awesome!Monday, June 18, 12
  18. 18. Problem Conversation Types 18 ■ Known Conversations ■ The Unknown ConversationsMonday, June 18, 12
  19. 19. “During the course of seven years I played scenes with an oil slick, I played a scene with a grain of rice. Sometimes with indescribable creatures. I remember having a conversation with something which was simply a smell, thats all. It was part of our job.” 19 Patrick StewartMonday, June 18, 12
  20. 20. Unknown Conversations 20 ■ Hallway Conversations ■ Poop & Swoop ■ Employee Issues ■ Financial Problems ■ Marital ProblemsMonday, June 18, 12
  21. 21. Primal Instincts 21 “Under great stress the process of thinking is usually characterized by loss of concentration, inability to perceive new information(to learn), hampered short- term memory, lack of initial planning of your actions.. Think QuestMonday, June 18, 12
  22. 22. In A Critical Conversation 22 ■ Your Pulse Quickens ■ Confusion Sets in ■ Decision Making is Difficult ■ Emotions on Autopilot ■ Adrenaline FueledMonday, June 18, 12
  23. 23. How Can You Control A Critical Conversation? 23 ? ? ?Monday, June 18, 12
  24. 24. C.A.L.M 24 Control Your Breathing Assess Your Goal Look For Signs Move Towards Your GoalMonday, June 18, 12
  25. 25. Control Your Breathing 25 ■ 1, 2 , 3 - Deep Breaths ■ Reduce Your Stress Level ■ Bring Clarity Back to Your Brain ■ Start to Form and Evaluate Your Thoughts ■ Isolate Your EmotionsMonday, June 18, 12
  26. 26. Assess Your Goal 26 ■ What’s Your True Goal? ■ Is It Achievable in This Conversation? ■ What Conversational Paths Must We Take To Reach It? ■ Avoid Goal JumpingMonday, June 18, 12
  27. 27. Look For The Signs 27 ■ Behavioral & Verbal Cues ■ Goal Jumping ■ StalematesMonday, June 18, 12
  28. 28. Move Towards Your Goal 28 ■ Form Positive Conversation Paths ■ Avoid Goal Jumping ■ Set An Action PlanMonday, June 18, 12
  29. 29. Conversational Techniques 29 ■ ESTABLISH SAFETY Is the conversation hostile? ■ COMPARE & CONTRAST I know how you might feel this way, but I’m really trying... ■ AVOID AVOIDANCE Don’t put off a critical conversation too long. ■ SET EXPECTATIONS Clearly define your expectationsMonday, June 18, 12
  30. 30. 5 Keys To Successful Conversation! 30 ■ STAY C.A.L.M ■ KNOW YOUR BEHAVIOR What happens when you get into a conversation ■ KNOW YOUR GOAL Know what you want to get from the conversation ■ DEFINE AN ACTION PLAN Define what should happen after the conversation ■ ACCOUNTABILITY Hold each party accountability for the action.Monday, June 18, 12
  31. 31. Resources To Further Your Knowledge 31Monday, June 18, 12
  32. 32. Successful Conversations A Verbal expression of ideas, opinions, and emotions between two or more people. 32 “BE A BAD ASS LIKE WALT”Monday, June 18, 12
  33. 33. Successful Conversations A Verbal expression of ideas, opinions, and emotions between two or more people. 33 IMAGE ATTRIBUTION - Flickr Creative Commons ■ Pete Radocaj ■ bottled_void ■ HAROLDO FERRARI-HAROLDO ... ■ anitakhart ■ Goldmund100Monday, June 18, 12
  34. 34. Successful Conversations A Verbal expression of ideas, opinions, and emotions between two or more people. Ways To Reach Me: @uidesignguide uidesignguide.com clearsitedesigns.com prestonmccauley.com Preston McCauleyMonday, June 18, 12
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