How to Make People Think You’re a Portlander




(Without Actually Living in the State of Oregon)

             By Carolyn...
Rule #1:

Describe Portland…
the way locals do.
In 25 Words… What is Portland Like?

• “25 words? I cannot do so in 25 words.”

• “Portland… is a place where people prete...
Rule #2:

Take pride in the homeland,
  and all it is known for.
What Portland Is Best Known For

•   Powells
•   Bridges, river splits city, trees
•   Bikes
•   Coffee, beer, and movie t...
Rule #3:

Try Not to Stand Out
  From The Crowd
Traits of a Portlander
•   young
•   bike
•   foodie
•   Beer
•   coffee
•   vegan
•   environment, nature, recyclers
•   ...
Rule #4:

    Familiarize yourself
with things only locals know.
(Editor’s note: half of what people said
     was just too weird to say publicly…)
• “The cheap food is on the East Side.”...
Plan B:
If your cover is blown, use 2 or 3,
    if not all, of the following…


        WARNING!!!
  FOR EMERGENCY USE ONL...
Pretend like Powell’s doesn’t
   impress you anymore
Shower, eat,
and/or nap at CubeSpace
Stop being confused
by Oregon’s gas station situation—




        start enjoying it.
Eat food in bizarre combinations.




“So, you like bacon... but you also like maple donuts?
     In Portland, we eat them...
Replace all common daily activities
   with 4-6 hours of Twittering
Volunteer for
“WordIgniteBarCampCampCampCamp
          Palooza… PDX.”




…to be held at CubeSpace Nov.20th
(get free tick...
Refuse to go places not on the MAX.




  (Better yet, that you can’t bike to.)
Clutter your brain with complex phrases
    like “NW” “SE” “SW, and “NW”.




      (Bonus points— act like you know
     ...
Set up a desk at Urban Grind,
GreenDragon, Albina Press Café, Crema,
   Stumptown, Backspace, or Tiny’s.

               H...
Dude! Stop going through the motions—




Pack it up and move to PDX already,
   you’re not fooling anyone. 
Upcoming SlideShare
Loading in …5
×

Ignite Portland 4 - How To Make People Think You’re a Portlander - Without Actually Living in the State of Oregon - Carolynn Duncan

2,148
-1

Published on

Published in: Business
0 Comments
0 Likes
Statistics
Notes
  • Be the first to comment

  • Be the first to like this

No Downloads
Views
Total Views
2,148
On Slideshare
0
From Embeds
0
Number of Embeds
0
Actions
Shares
0
Downloads
0
Comments
0
Likes
0
Embeds 0
No embeds

No notes for slide

Ignite Portland 4 - How To Make People Think You’re a Portlander - Without Actually Living in the State of Oregon - Carolynn Duncan

  1. 1. How to Make People Think You’re a Portlander (Without Actually Living in the State of Oregon) By Carolynn Duncan
  2. 2. Rule #1: Describe Portland… the way locals do.
  3. 3. In 25 Words… What is Portland Like? • “25 words? I cannot do so in 25 words.” • “Portland… is a place where people pretend to work in coffee shops and pubs.” • “It’s like hot, buttered waffles after a night of binge drinking when you didn't have time to get dinner first.”
  4. 4. Rule #2: Take pride in the homeland, and all it is known for.
  5. 5. What Portland Is Best Known For • Powells • Bridges, river splits city, trees • Bikes • Coffee, beer, and movie theaters that sell beer • Tonya Harding • The 4 quadrant situation • Bums • Open source • Hoodies • The MAX • Indie bands with names from a porn catalog
  6. 6. Rule #3: Try Not to Stand Out From The Crowd
  7. 7. Traits of a Portlander • young • bike • foodie • Beer • coffee • vegan • environment, nature, recyclers • educated, book-reader • mellow, laid-back • bearded • progressive, liberal • tech addict • you either think Portland is the best, or you can’t wait to leave
  8. 8. Rule #4: Familiarize yourself with things only locals know.
  9. 9. (Editor’s note: half of what people said was just too weird to say publicly…) • “The cheap food is on the East Side.” • “Portland is, sociologically speaking, a lesbian mecca.” • “Best cappuccino: Spella Café, 9th & Alder. And yes, it's a trailer.” • “Someone in Portland has been building a great list for discrete outdoor sex over the past 10 years... but ‘hell no, isn’t telling’.” • “Ask for “the chef's menuquot; at clarklewis; it’s always the best.” • “More couples meet on craigslist than are willing to admit.”
  10. 10. Plan B: If your cover is blown, use 2 or 3, if not all, of the following… WARNING!!! FOR EMERGENCY USE ONLY! (results may vary)
  11. 11. Pretend like Powell’s doesn’t impress you anymore
  12. 12. Shower, eat, and/or nap at CubeSpace
  13. 13. Stop being confused by Oregon’s gas station situation— start enjoying it.
  14. 14. Eat food in bizarre combinations. “So, you like bacon... but you also like maple donuts? In Portland, we eat them at the same time.”
  15. 15. Replace all common daily activities with 4-6 hours of Twittering
  16. 16. Volunteer for “WordIgniteBarCampCampCampCamp Palooza… PDX.” …to be held at CubeSpace Nov.20th (get free tickets here on Upcoming!)
  17. 17. Refuse to go places not on the MAX. (Better yet, that you can’t bike to.)
  18. 18. Clutter your brain with complex phrases like “NW” “SE” “SW, and “NW”. (Bonus points— act like you know which side of the river they’re on.)
  19. 19. Set up a desk at Urban Grind, GreenDragon, Albina Press Café, Crema, Stumptown, Backspace, or Tiny’s. Hardcore: be an afterhours regular at all of the above
  20. 20. Dude! Stop going through the motions— Pack it up and move to PDX already, you’re not fooling anyone. 

×