Da#ng Rules for the Actual World*
by Alexis Rehrmann
(Hi! That’s me!)
*DISCLAIMER: Any similarity to actual dates,
living or dead, is on purpose because these
stories are true. Results may be atypical, but
really, who am I to judge?
Rule 1: There Are No Rules.
All Hail Moral Rela#vism.
Rule 6: Everyone Gets One Get Out of
Jail Free Card.
Rule 7: Know When to Hold’em;
Know When to Fold’em.
Deal Breakers (abridged):
• He is married.
• He is your surf instructor.
• First date interrupted by cops.
• Any date begins or ends in ﬁre.
• He may work in organized crime?
• Dude, he totally just got deported.
• Oh, no. He is polyamorous.
• He is not that interested.
• He is kind of mean.
• He is a liDle bit dumb.