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31032010 we bbt workshop assertiveness

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  • 1. Expert
Academy
IBBT
 31/03/2010
 Just Dare! Assertiveness by Frederik Imbo Assertiveness … What ? When ? How ? www.expertacademy.be
 1

  • 2. Expert
Academy
IBBT
 31/03/2010
 passive ME - YOU assertive ME - YOU manipulative aggressive ME - YOU ME - YOU F antasy E xperienced As R eality www.expertacademy.be
 2

  • 3. Expert
Academy
IBBT
 31/03/2010
 DO THINK +/- +/- FEEL +/- if you always do what you always did you will always get what you always got www.expertacademy.be
 3

  • 4. Expert
Academy
IBBT
 31/03/2010
 Communication techniques Communication techniques   Building Rapport www.expertacademy.be
 4

  • 5. Expert
Academy
IBBT
 31/03/2010
 Communication techniques   Building Rapport   The diving board technique Communication techniques   Building Rapport   The diving board technique   The U-turn technique www.expertacademy.be
 5

  • 6. Expert
Academy
IBBT
 31/03/2010
 Communication techniques   Building Rapport   The diving board technique   The U-turn technique Communication techniques   Building Rapport   The diving board technique   The U-turn technique   The sandwich technique www.expertacademy.be
 6

  • 7. Expert
Academy
IBBT
 31/03/2010
 Communication techniques   Building Rapport   The diving board technique   The U-turn technique   The sandwich technique Communication techniques   Building Rapport   The diving board technique   The U-turn technique   The sandwich technique   The broken record technique www.expertacademy.be
 7

  • 8. Expert
Academy
IBBT
 31/03/2010
 Communication techniques   Building Rapport   The diving board technique   The U-turn technique   The sandwich technique   The broken record technique   The Model of Non-violent Communication:   Observations   Feelings   Needs   Requests Observations When I see, I hear, I notice… www.expertacademy.be
 8

  • 9. Expert
Academy
IBBT
 31/03/2010
 Observations When I see, I hear, I notice… Observations When I see, I hear, I notice… Feelings then I feel … www.expertacademy.be
 9

  • 10. Expert
Academy
IBBT
 31/03/2010
 Feeling when your needs are satisfied: Grateful Affectionate Confident Joyful Peaceful Proud Warm At ease/ safe Glad / amused Satisfied Appreciative Loving Secure / calm Happy Content Moved Compassionate Determined Delighted Relieved Appreciation Tender / open hearted Empowered / strong Energetic / jubilant Serene/tranquil/still Engaged Hopeful Pleased Exhilarated Fulfilled Curious Expectant Pleasant / content Ecstatic Grateful / contented Connected Longing Thrilled / overjoyed Eager Touched Fascinated / enchanted Careless Awake Adventurous Moved Involved / alert Brave Unconcerned Lively / playful Passionate Feeling when your needs are NOT satisfied: Afraid Angry Annoyed Tense Yearning Worried / concerned Mad / frustrated Agitated / irritated Stressed out Nostalgic Panicked Displeased Disappointed Nervous Envious Terrified / petrified Resentful Uncomfortable Restless Jealous Suspicious Enraged / Furious Displeased Anxious Longing Vulnerable Disconnected Embarrassed Disquiet Pain Insecure / fragile Bored / indifferent Guilty Impatient Hurt / miserable Shaky Apathetic / numb Desperate Surprised Grief / lonely Helpless / unable Uninterested Confused Shocked Regretful Terrible Distant / detached Ashamed / Upset Broken / heartbroken Sad Aversion Unhappy Fatigue Confused Melancholy Hostile / disgusted Terrible Depleted / mortified Perplexed Discouraged Repulsed Unfortunate Tired / sleepy Baffled Depressed / Gloomy Contempt Hopeless / despair Exhausted Hesitant Heavy hearted Envious / hate Beat Worn out / burnt out Lost/ puzzled Observations When I see, I hear, I notice… Feelings then I feel … www.expertacademy.be
 10

  • 11. Expert
Academy
IBBT
 31/03/2010
 Observations When I see, I hear, I notice… Feelings then I feel … Needs because I need… Spirituality Autonomy Beauty Respect / self-respect Harmony Choice / preference Inspiration Freedom / Independence Contact Space Order Spontaneity Unity Celebration and joy Celebration of life Celebration of fulfilling dreams Physical well-being Creativity / pleasure / humor Air/ light Honesty Mourning Food / water Authenticity Clothing / warmth Self-expression Peace Shelter/ cover/ nurturing / care Self-confidence Empathy Touch / tenderness / closeness Integrity Compassion Protection / safety / security Presence Equality / clarity Rest / sleep Connection / togetherness Sex / intimacy Meaning Emotional security Use own force Hope / purpose Order /rest / stability To matter / belonging To understand and be understood Mutual association Awareness To see and be seen Acceptance Understanding Inspiration Appreciation/ acknowledgement Challenge Trust Communication/ sharing Competence Consideration / mutuality Contribution Support / encouragement / comfort Change Efficacy Growth/ learning … Emotional security / reassurance Be understood / sympathy Love / Affection / closeness Cooperation / solidarity www.expertacademy.be
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  • 12. Expert
Academy
IBBT
 31/03/2010
 Observations When I see, I hear, I notice… Feelings then I feel … Needs because I need… Observations When I see, I hear, Requests I notice… Feelings so my then I request feel … is … Needs because I need… www.expertacademy.be
 12

  • 13. ∞ Expert
Academy
IBBT
 31/03/2010
 requests requests needs needs ME YOU feelings feelings observations observations Self-evaluation Reflect on the result of your communication:   To what extent did I achieve the purpose of my communication?   What is the reason for achieving or not archieving my purpose?   Where did my communication go wrong?   What am I going to pay attention to next time? www.expertacademy.be
 13

  • 14. Expert
Academy
IBBT
 31/03/2010
 GOOD LUCK !!! www.expertacademy.be www.expertacademy.be
 14


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