The 5 minute management course


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I got these 5 stories a few years ago from my bro (Chuck Lopez). Found them interesting and useful. So, I entered them into slides and included with some of my notes and shared with everyone here. Hope it helps.

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The 5 minute management course

  1. 1. 5  minute  management   course
  2. 2. Lesson  1 A man is getting into the shower just as his wife isfinishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runsdownstairs.When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.Before she says a word, Bob says, Ill give you$800 to drop that towel.’
  3. 3. Lesson  1 After thinking for a moment, the woman drops hertowel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a fewseconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.The woman wraps back up in the towel and goesback upstairs.When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,Who was that?’It was Bob the next door neighbor, she replies.Great, the husband says, did he say anythingabout the $800 he owes me?
  4. 4. Lesson  1 Moral of the story:If you share critical informationpertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, youmay be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
  5. 5. Lesson  2 A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the managerare walking to lunch when they find an antique oillamp.They rub it and a Genie comes out.The Genie says, Ill give each of you just one wish.’Me first! Me first! says the admin clerk. ’I want to be inthe Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care inthe world.’Puff! Shes gone.
  6. 6. Lesson  2 Me next! Me next! says the sales rep. I want to be inHawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personalmasseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and thelove of my life.Puff! Hes gone.OK, youre up, the Genie says to the manager.The manager says, I want those two back in theoffice after lunch.’
  7. 7. Lesson  2 Moral of the story:Respect your boss. Let your boss have the first say.
  8. 8. Lesson  3 An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, Can Ialso sit like you and do nothing?’The eagle answered: Sure, why not.So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle andrested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped onthe rabbit and ate it.
  9. 9. Lesson  3 Moral of the story:To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.Note that in order to sit very high up, you’ll need to be strong enoughand have the knowledge and skills to be up there.
  10. 10. Lesson  4 A turkey was chatting with a bull.I would love to be able to get to the top of that treesighed the turkey, but I havent got the energy.Well, why dont you nibble on some of my droppings?replied the bull. Theyre packed with nutrients.The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found itactually gave him enough strength to reach thelowest branch of the tree.
  11. 11. Lesson  4 The next day, after eating some more dung, hereached the second branch.Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudlyperched at the top of the tree.He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot himout of the tree.
  12. 12. Lesson  4 Moral of the story:Bull Shit might get you to the top,but it won’t keep you there… Your knowledge, skills, experience,competency will be how you can sustain in a higher and higher position.
  13. 13. Lesson  5 A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold thebird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.While he was lying there, a cow came by and droppedsome dung on him.As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, hebegan to realize how warm he was.The dung was actually thawing him out!He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to singfor joy.
  14. 14. Lesson  5 A passing cat heard the bird singing and came toinvestigate.Following the sound, the cat discovered the birdunder the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug himout and ate him.
  15. 15. Lesson  5 Morals of the story:(1) Not everyone who shits on you isyour enemy.(2) Not everyone who gets you out ofshit is your friend.(3) And when youre in deep shit, itsbest to keep your mouth shut!
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