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History:• seventeenth century: ▫ Puritans decided marriage was a civil contract that could be broken under certain circumstances adultery, cruelty, and long absence (At Issue: “Long divorce”).• 1800’s, ▫ almost all states enacted divorce laws and additional grounds were granted (Trends in Divorce: “Divorce in America”).• 1900’s ▫ Over 55,000 marriages ended in divorce (Trends in Divorce: “Divorce in America”).
What is Divorce and why does/didmom and dad get one?• -divorce is the legal and final dissolution of a marriage.• common problems that result into divorce are: ▫ They’re growing apart ▫ They feel unloved from the partner ▫ Unappreciated ▫ Finances ▫ Too much miscommunication ▫ Violent spouses ▫ (At Issue: “Divorce”)
Facts: • Yes marriage vows usually include the phrase, “till death do us part,” about half of all first marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. That’s 50%! (Divorce: Current Issues, 2010) • age, education, and social class are factors ▫ ex) Likelihood of Divorce: Who? More or less likely for divorce? Older couples Less likely Less educated (will have money More likely problems) Living with spouse before marriage More likely ▫ (Trends of Divorce: “Factors of Divorce”)
U.S. compared to the rest of the world http://www2.ed.gov/pubs/YouthIndicators/Demographics.html
Effects on Parents:• Almost all divorced couples experience some of the following emotional distress: ▫ Anxiety ▫ Fear ▫ Anger during and after divorce (Consequences of Divorce: “Effects on Divorced Couples”).
Future expectations of successfulmarriages: http://captaincapitalism.blogspot.com/2011_10_01_archive.html
Habits of Parents After Divorce:• Overeating• Smoking All common up• Increased drinking to 2 years after• Sleeplessness the divorce.• Nervousness• All of the above can lead to ▫ Loss of friendships and increased isolation and loneliness (A Kid’s Guide to Divorce).
Facts of the Effects on Children:• Young people whose parents are divorced are more likely to leave home earlier because of family difficulties.• Boys tend to suffer greater emotional and psychological problems following a divorce than do girls (Consequences of Divorce: “Effects on Children”).
Effects On The Kids Of A Divorce:• Low self-esteem• Problems with relationships (trust issues)• Feeling like they’re the problem• Depression• Problems coping with issues between parents• Relocation between parents for certain periods of time• Being the “reporters” and “messengers” between parents at visits.
Problems in kids and teens resulting frombad handling of divorce from parents andkids • Sleep problems • Poor concentration • Trouble at school • Drug or alcohol abuse • Self-injury/cutting • eating disorders • Frequent angry or violent outbursts • Withdrawal from loved ones • Refusal of loved activities. http://www.familylawcollaborativedivorce.co.uk/articles/children-divorce/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Parent_Trap_%281998_film%29What kids sometimes think duringor after their parents separate:• Life doesn’t work like the movies. ▫ You won’t be able to change your parent’s minds about the divorce• You can’t fix your parent’s divorce ▫ Acting differently to get your parent’s to work together won’t make the divorce go away (A Kid’s Guide to Divorce: “Kids Can’t Fix Divorce”).• “it’s not your fault.” ▫ Have you ever felt like it was your fault?
How can kids and parents worktogether through a divorce? • Parents leaving the kids out of marital problems • Talking together on: ▫ A visiting schedule (if not already set in custody claims) ▫ agreeing to work things out and communicate ▫ Family counseling (with both parents)http://articles.nydailynews.com/2009-12-08/entertainment/17942984_1_parents-study-pediatrics
How can parents try to fix things beforethe mention of divorce comes up? • Marriage counseling • Improve communication skills ▫ take time to discuss the problems and come up with a comprable solution for BOTH people • Desire: ▫ Nothing can get done or overcome if one or both people in the relationship don’t want it to work, or don’t try to make it better
Marriage counseling funny: http://www.cartoonstock.com/directo ry/c/conflicting_occupations.asp
What you should know as of today:• “I believe essays” For those of you who suffer from a divorced family, and whether your situation is good or a bit harder than others, please remember, you’re NOT alone.
Family is always there, but with familyissues, you sometimes need your secondfamily, whether you’re Young ...or… Oldhttp://clarelafferty.wordpress.com/2 http://mindofmyown-supernova.blogspot.com/2011/01/friends-011/08/26/the-value-of-friends/ forever.html
Citations:• "Divorce." Current Issues: Macmillian Social Science Library. Detroit: Gale, 2010. Gale Opposing Viewpoints In Context. Web. 22 Dec. 2011.• "Changes in U.S. Marriage and Divorce Since 1960." Encyclopedia of Sociology. 2nd ed. New York: Macmillan Reference USA, 2010. Gale Opposing Viewpoints In Context. Web. 22 Dec. 2011.• ProQuest Staff. "At Issue: Divorce." ProQuest LLC. 2011: n.pag. SIRS Issues Researcher. Web. 22 Dec 2011.• "Archived: Youth Indicators, 1993 - Demographics and Family Composition." U.S. Department of Education. National Center for Health Services, 1990. Web. 10 Jan. 2012. <http://www2.ed.gov/pubs/YouthIndicators/Demographics.html>.• Pew Research Center. "Senior Journal - Features." Senior Citizen News and Information Daily On The Web at SeniorJournal.com. Pew Research Center, 15 Dec. 2011. Web. 10 Jan. 2012. <http://seniorjournal.com/Features.htm>.• Capitalism, Captainn. "October 2011." Captain Capitalism. Captain Capitalism, 8 Oct. 2011. Web. 10 Jan. 2012. <http://captaincapitalism.blogspot.com/2011_10_01_archive.html>.• Block, Jocelyn, Gina Kemp, Melinda Smith, and Jeanne Segal. "Children and Divorce: Helping Your Kids Cope with the Effects of Separation and Divorce." Helpguide Helps You Help Yourself to Better Mental and Emotional Health. Oct. 2011. Web. 10 Jan. 2012. <http://www.helpguide.org/mental/children_divorce.htm>.• People Records. "Divorce Records." Background Checks. People Records Americas Background Checks, 2007. Web. 10 Jan. 2012. <http://www.peoplerecords.com/divorce- records/>.• Wikipedia contributors. "Parent Trap." Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, 3 Aug. 2008. Web. 11 Jan. 2012.
• Sharp, Richard. "Bath Divorce Solicitors : Sharp Family Law : UK Collaborative Law & Family Mediation : England Civil Partnerships & Cohabitation : Children & Divorce : Family Law Collaborative Divorce Blog." Family Law Collaborative Divorce Blog : Bath Divorce Solicitors : Sharp Family Law : UK Collaborative Law & Family Mediation : Bristol, Swindon & Southern England. Richard Sharp, 16 Sept. 2009. Web. 10 Jan. 2012. <http://www.familylawcollaborativedivorce.co.uk/articles/children-divorce/>.• Chernikoff, Leah. "Too Late for Birds and Bees? Many Parents Give the Talk after Teens Become Sexually Active - New York Daily News." Featured Articles From The New York Daily News. Daily News Staff, 8 Dec. 2009. Web. 10 Jan. 2012. <http://articles.nydailynews.com/2009-12- 08/entertainment/17942984_1_parents-study-pediatrics>.• Kohl, Joe. "Conflicting Occupations Cartoons and Comics." CartoonStock - Cartoon Pictures, Political Cartoons, Animations. Cartoon Stock. Web. 10 Jan. 2012. <http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/c/conflicting_occupations.asp>.• Lafferty, Clare. "The Value of Friends « Random Thoughts from Scripture." Random Thoughts from Scripture. Clare Lafferty, 26 Aug. 2011. Web. 10 Jan. 2012. <http://clarelafferty.wordpress.com/2011/08/26/the-value-of-friends/>.• Supernova. "F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Forever." Mind of My Own. Google Images, 26 Jan. 2011. Web. 10 Jan. 2012. <http://mindofmyown- supernova.blogspot.com/2011/01/friends-forever.html>.• "A Kids Guide To Divorce." KidsHealth - the Webs Most Visited Site about Childrens Health. Michele New, Jan. 2011. Web. 10 Jan. 2012. <http://kidshealth.org>.