DNA Feb 06, 2011

Out Of The Closet 13Mumbai, February 6, 2011 The term ‘gay’ to imply homosexuality was first used by journalists to refer to pianist Liberace in the 1950s‘Hinduism is not against AROUND THE WORLDhomosexualityLast week, Manvendrasinh Gohil’s second interview with Oprah Winfrey was aired in theUS. The gay prince of the erstwhile state of Rajpipla speaks to Jumana Shah about how lifehas changed for him after coming into the limelight, and the ongoing fight in the SupremeCourt, mostly against religious petitioners _ Mexico launches beer for the lesbian and gay market H omosexuality in India was de- how things had changed for me since criminalised in July 2009, the first show was aired. My family A Mexican company has launched a new beer for the gay which helped change social took me back and I see more gays and lesbian community which will also be exported to perceptions to some extent. coming out of the closet than before. Fight against HIV/AIDS other countries, company officials said. The “honey But, personally I also attribute , This time, the viewers were sur- flavoured” beer will initially be sold in Mexico and later Last month, in Paris, this shift to the interviews aired on the prised to learn that homosexuality exported to Colombia and Japan. “We’ve entered the Manvendrasinh Gohil met Carla Oprah Winfrey Show in 2007 and this year. had been decriminalised in India market with great respect, with the idea of offering a Bruni at a dinner organised to The global viewership and media cover- only in 2009. Oprah has a dedicated product aimed at the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay Bisexual and , create awareness on issues related age largely helped mass acceptance of the audience in India, and her support to Transgender) community which has been neglected but is , to HIV/AIDS. The event was queer community in India. the queer cause helps us a lot, more very important and very demanding,” said Dario organised by AIDES — a French In my first interview, there were two so because she is straight. This is Rodriguez Wyler, marketing chief of Bodega 12 beer. organisation working for HIV and other guests — an African-American foot- what I call mainstreaming homosex- The beer is being sold at gay bars and restaurants in AIDS since 1984. ball player and a New York-based Ja- uality. Guadalajara, one of Mexico’s most traditional cities, as maican who had to flee from her country Gohil’s own foundation, Lakshya well as in Mexico City and beach resorts such as Puerto because she came out. I chose to discuss Religion and homosexuality Trust, works for HIV and AIDS- Vallarta and Los Cabos. The company will soon export the my personal life, my relationship with my In the ongoing case in the Supreme infected persons and Bruni is beer to Colombia and Japan, Wyler said. parents and ex-wife, and perceptions Court, we are not fighting the gov- ambassador for Global Fund for about gays in India. Two things stood out ernment any more, but religious lead- AIDS, tuberculosis and malaria, for the global audiences — they came to know that 75-80% of Indian gays, includ- ers. Hinduism as a religion is not against homosexuality Of the 18 pe- . which is based in Geneva. Bruni showed keen interest in working _ Teenager raised by lesbians ing me, are forced by their families to mar- ry women. Apart from the personal prob- titioners against the Delhi High Court’s decision to decriminalise ho- with Gohil and the Lakshya Trust. According to Gohil, Bruni was becomes YouTube sensation lems this causes, it also makes the women mosexual intercourse, only two are excited to start work on a project Last week, the Iowa House passed a resolution that calls for vulnerable to HIV/AIDS. Secondly people , Hindu religious leaders. There are that worked towards preventing the a referendum on a constitutional amendment banning around the world, until then, believed that eight Christian and eight Mus- spread of HIV/AIDS from women to same-sex marriage. Zach Wahls, 19, a University of Iowa being gay in India was a crime. That is in- lim petitioners. Nepal, where their children. student, gave a passionate correct — homosexual intercourse gay marriages are legal, is a speech at a public forum in was a crime. I also spoke about how Hindu country. It doesn’t monthly magazine Fun does just that. front of the Iowa House on my family had publicly disowned have as much Muslim and Fun is like the spokesperson of the com- Monday about being raised me then and denied me my in- Christian influence as In- munity, expressing their point of view by lesbian parents that got heritance because of the dia does. and their emotions, in their language, posted to YouTube and stigma that comes with No Hindu scripture without any intermediaries, censorship became a sensation. homosexuality here. says homosexuality is or dilution. In his speech, he said, “My The recent in- ‘wrong’. It is important India has seven magazines for the ho- family really isn’t so terview was to understand this as- mosexual community Only two of them . different from yours. After more pect of Indian society, are in print, while the rest are online. all, your family doesn’t about with all its influ- Bombay Dost is published thrice a year, derive its sense of worth ences and interpre- but it is mainly about activism and its aim from being told by the state, tations. is to spread awareness about safe sex and ‘You’re married. Congratulations.’ The sense of family HIV/AIDS. Fun is India’s first gay comes from the commitment we make to each other to work through the hard times so we can enjoy the good ones. It lifestyle magazine. I launched it six Having Fun months ago, and it now has a circulation comes from the love that binds us. That’s what makes a family . With law on our of 40,000 in India. We are looking at tie- “I scored in the ninety-ninth percentile on my ACT,” Wahls side now, the ups in France, the US and Canada. In the said. “I own and operate my own business. If I were your next challenge is US and Paris, the gay magazines The Ad- son, I believe I would make you very proud.” to change the vocate and Tattoo respectively want to tie , Iowa Democrats posted his address on Youtube. In three mindset of our so- up with us for international circulation days it had more than a half-million hits on the site. ciety, and our new there. “In my 19 years, not once was I ever confronted by an It is significant that they wish to retain individual who independently realised that I was raised by Indian content. The West is interested in a gay couple. Because the sexual orientation of my parents Indian men. They want to know our has had zero affect on the content of my character.” lifestyle, psyche, stories of India, issues, fashion and so on. Fun also talks about fit- ness, health and gadgets. The name Fun is synonymous with gay — literally Like . _ Largest gay and lesbian cruise any other magazine, Fun is sold at book shops, on railway stations, coffee shops kicks off from Florida On Friday the largest cruise ever aimed at the gay and , and airports. I am mainstreaming it. lesbian market kicked off on Royal Caribbean’s Allure of We have not faced any protests, nor the Seas. The organiser of the voyage, Atlantis Events Inc, have activists burnt any copies to stem the is the world’s largest company specialising in gay and queer movement. This illustrates a change lesbian vacations, and it traditionally offers several cruises in people’s mindset. I see the community a year on chartered ships. Nearly 5,400 people have signed getting bolder, more comfortable with it- up for the seven-night Western Caribbean sailing, which self and confident to come out. There is no begins in Fort Lauderdale in Florida and includes stops in guilt, only pride in being queer. I see more Mexico and Haiti. and more people talking to their wives and The company says demand for the Allure of the Seas family There was a mother who offered to . sailing has been so strong that it already has chartered the help other parents, even grand-parents, vessel for a second gay cruise to take place in January 2012. whose kids may have come out. She said The cruise will go on sale on February 23. she took a long time to understand her Allure of the Seas is 16 decks high, stretches nearly 1,200 child, and wished to help others so they feet long and boasts such never-before-seen-at-sea features could accept their children faster. I do see as an open-air “central park” with live trees and a family- more people looking for steady partners friendly amusement area called Boardwalk. Other than for a long relationship, if not marriage. Oasis, no other cruise ship comes close to it in size. Retiring in Rajpipla which had been given a gleaming new makeover. India’s first retirement home for the gay community will soon come up in Rajpi- Have a question? pla on the banks of the river Narmada. It will be home to around 100 people and We know that everyday lives are far more complicated, in- serve as a community centre for recre- teresting, richer with drama than anything we may read ation and other activities for people who or see. And such lives, we can rightly assume, are bound have decided against marriage and don’t to throw up questions. Write in to us at outoftheclos- want to live with their families. It will et@dnaindia.net with your queries on gay/lesbian love, be inaugurated by Oprah next year. activism or anything under the sun that needs an agony aunt’s attention. s_jumana@dnaindia.netThe not-so-queer case of male jhol I don’t believe that I need to identify as man or woman in the relationship or for FALLING IN LOVE that matter, the sexual act. We are two men I’m often asked who plays the HARISH IYER in love. Period. ( I mean no period, pun in- man or woman in the tended!) Harish Iyer is a communication professional Our love stories are just the same and relationship. I don’t believe I who wears his heart on his sleeve breakups — ditto as straight ones. Let me share my love story with you. My first love. need to identify as either while No, the term ‘male jhol’ isn’t a hindi word. On an early night in a drizzling June, at I am in a relationship, or, for It is hip and hinglish. I am one of the many the windy Bandra reclamation, I fell in males in this orgasmic island city whose love… and for the first time. Was it love at that matter, the sexual act. We hormones get thumping and pumping, ca- first sight? No. It was love at first kiss, are two men in love. Period joling and jholing looking at other males though. And now I know the questions rag- (call us a minority and I will give you a ing in your mind. thappad). Aiyoo. So did someone see. Naahi vaatla the very straight Bandra Reclamation that Yaah yaah... I am gay And I love men. I . bheeti? kissed the Arabian sea. The moon waxed think of making love to a man *can hear the Nahin.. Mumbai is a busy city Who has . and time waned away I looked at my watch, . neighbour aunty say “haaaa look at him”* the time to see and bajaao seeti? two hours had passed. We decided to move I am engaged to a man and have a ring to He was not the perfect man. But he was to our respective homes. I called out for a He spoke, I listened. I spoke and he lis- in love again. And finally change my face- prove it. as imperfect as me and perfect for me. As rickshaw and, surprisingly he sat in it. Puz- , tened. The conversations that were initiat- book status to “In a relationship”… And let me tell you. Our joys our sorrows the dark clouds further stained the orange zled, I stood there muzzled. He said, “Let’s ed that dawn-less night, held us together for Does my rainy day story sound alike the are as different and unique as a boy to a girl sky the drizzle ended and there was a cloud , spend the night together”. I muttered the next four months. laila-majnu love relationships that go little or vice versa. (What are they called? Yeah, burst. It was a perfect Gulzar moment for huskily “Where”? He whispered “Bombay”. , Then we tripped and missed our steps. beyond raat-gayee-baat-gayee? STRAIGHT!) us with a very situational Ek akeli chhatri I hopped in. The rickshaw meter kept tick- He found someone else and I was left alone Well, we and our relationships are not I’m often asked who plays the Man and mein jab aadhe addhe bhegh rahe the… ing and we sunk into our past and present singing melancholic tunes from the 40s. I queer. And if you insist we are, then I’d who the Woman in the relationship. The playing in his iPod that was plugged into and future. From Bandra to Andheri and kept a big face for the first three months. say we are as queer as straight ones. Our truth is that gay relations are unique and each of our ears. As time passed, we got from Andheri to Bandra, and then from But it took me four years of sad poems and dils, in the same way go rock-and-roll , so different, and so are our love stories. We closer... and tracks changed — now it was Bandra to Sion and then from Sion to Gore- reams and reams of tear-absorbing tissue what if it is male jhol? don’t fit into moulds. We define moulds. Jaane do naa… paas aao naa — all this at gaon, we just “rick”ed it all over the night. papers to finally gain the confidence to rise themag@dnaindia.net

DNA Feb 06, 2011

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