119. santa letters


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119. santa letters

  1. 1. By Vince Ciotti H.I.S. (not very) Professionals, LLC
  2. 2.  At the risk of antagonizing the many HIS vendor CEOs who have been so helpful in writing my HIS-tory series of their firms over the past year, this week features another special episode for the Christmas season.  To make this holiday a little merrier (and with a little inside help from the NSA), we managed to get copies of the leading HIS vendor executives’ private letters to Santa.  So sit back in your office chair, warm up your egg nog (or that stale office coffee), and enjoy these somewhat “punny” missives meant to poke a little fun at the bosses of our top 13 HIS vendors, listed by order of revenue. Hope Yule like it! (PS - our attorney can be reached at: 800/555-1212)
  3. 3. Dear Santa, To make this season a Paragon of Christmases, I would like to see a whole Series of Stars spread across the Horizon. Sincerely, John Hammergren
  4. 4. Dear Mr. Claus, To make my day this Xmas, I’d like another epic sale the size of IHC... Yours truly, Neal Patterson
  5. 5. Dear Santa, For this Christmas, I’d sure be interested my old job back at Partners, in case you run across anybody there in your travels... Sincerely, John Glaser
  6. 6. Dear Santa, This Christmas, I really don’t need anything... but thanks for asking! Yours truly, Judy
  7. 7. Santa, Since we are based in Chicago, the biggest help you could be is to get those Bulls to start beating the Bears! (on Wall Street, that is…) Sincerely, Paul Black
  8. 8. Dear Mr. Claus, Could you please help us find a buyer for our BDM Pharmacy Division? (…what? Oh…) Sorry, never mind. Sincerely, Jan DeWitt
  9. 9. Santa, This year, I’d like a Magic wand so all of our Clients can be Served on a single Release (6). Yours, Neal Pappalardo
  10. 10. Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is that our next Opus encompasses the whole Sphere of our ambulatory systems. Sincerely yours, Steve Plochoki
  11. 11. Santer, All we’d really like this yeah is to sell our system to just one really big hospital for a change – say, one that’s over 100 beds. Oh awright, howabout one over 25 beds? Y’all have a merry one! Boyd Douglas
  12. 12. Dear Santa, We’d really appreciate it if you could make that other “HMS” in New York change their initials. Many thanks, Tom Stevenson
  13. 13. 親愛なるサンタ、 あなたは、米国の前に、今年東京で停 止を確認してください、 ありがとうございました
  14. 14. Dear Mr. Claus, Can you please find us some nice office space in Reston, Virginia, that is located on a street that is named something besides “Sunset?” You see, we really have this Affinity for making Quantim leaps forward… Many thanks, Jeff Bender
  15. 15. Dear Santa, As you may know, I just moved here from McKesson down in Atlanta. The people up here in Minnesota are wonderful but the weather is just dreadful. Could you possibly back off the snow for few weeks this summer? Many thanks, Chris Bauleke
  16. 16. Dear Santa, Please have Vince stop sending me any more of these silly episodes next year – they are costing me too many sponsors. In return, I promise I will start being a very good boy. Fondest regards to you and Mrs. Claus, Yours truly, Mr. HIStalk