Parenting Tips at the Horse Show (Waite)

My Horse University and eXtension’s HorseQuest welcome you to this live Webcast. Tips for Horse Show Parents Karen L. Waite, M.S. Michigan State University

Meet our presenter:
Karen L. Waite, M.S.
Michigan State University

Introduction
Why discuss this topic?
Why youth participate in showing horses
What parents can do to help
How 4-H leaders, coaches and trainers can help

Why Discuss This Topic?

Why Youth Show Horses
Young people get involved in sports because they are fun…and stop participating when they stop being fun. (Weiss, 2004)
Parents are a critical piece of the “horse show team.”
Parents play an important role in whether showing horses is fun. (or not)

How Can Parents Help?
Keep fun a factor!
“ When it stops being fun, we stop showing horses.”
Planning for “fun.”

Dealing With Anger
Take deep breaths
Inhale 4 seconds, exhale 8 seconds
Suck on a lollipop
Repeat a calm word or phrase or visualize relaxation
Replace angry thoughts with rational ones
Count to 10 before speaking
Ask the child how they felt they did, rather than asking about mistakes or why they didn’t win
Praise effort first, then consider commenting on results
Goldstein, 2008

Provide Support for the Child
Unconditional encouragement and support
Physical presence at horse shows
Interest in child’s efforts regardless of outcome
Talking up the child’s efforts to others. (notice: efforts, not outcomes!)

Don’t Push TOO Much…
Pressures on parents can be great
Financial
Time
Excessive pushing to practice, take lessons and win can detract from fun for some children

But Learn Optimal Push!
For some youth, a slight push may actually enhance enjoyment and may be needed.
Fine line between positive and negative push for child AND horse!
Knowing how much is enough for horse and rider can be a delicate balancing act.

BE the Parent.
Not the coach or horse trainer
Even when the parent has credibility as a coach or trainer, the child needs unconditional support from someone.
Should be agreed to by parent and child, or assistance from someone else may be helpful.

Respect Officials and Show Management
Judges are typically well trained and competent in multiple events
Judges must look at every exhibitor in the pen, parents typically do not
Disrespect for officials and show management models poor sportsmanship

Recognize Signs of Burnout in Children
Avoidance of training sessions and the barn
Lack of effort at lessons or shows
Lackadaisical attitude
irritability around barn
crying spells
impatience with horse
Battles of will
Sasson-Edgette, 1996

Recognize Signs of Burnout in the Horse
Tail wringing, ear pinning
Back or leg soreness
Refusals
Depression or general appearance of overall tiredness, rough hair coat etc.

Recognize Signs of Stress in Family
Everyone is irritable and no one is talking
Child does not want family members at shows
Sense of dread around horse shows
Worries about time and money
Sasson-Edgette, 1996

What to Do?
Be observant
Encourage conversation
Insist on good manners no matter what
Consider the horse
Do something different for horse, rider and family as needed.

Keeping the Competitors Mentally and Physically Ready
Drinking plenty of water
Eating appropriately
Pack healthy lunches and snacks
Sleeping
Practicing at regular and appropriate intervals

Keeping the Competitors Mentally and Physically Ready
Time to play with friends/socialize
Clothing and equipment
Sense of humor!!!

Goal Setting
Help children set realistic goals
Use the SMART Goal setting system
Review goals periodically at an appropriate time.
Set new goals if old ones are met.

SMART Goal Setting
Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Realistic and Relevant to the child
Time Sensitive

Other Ideas
Developing and using a “riding resource room” Sasson-Edgette, 1996
Lucky dance (or song)
Rituals or symbols

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Parenting Tips at the Horse Show (Waite)

by Gwyn Heyboer on Mar 17, 2011

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Parenting Tips at the Horse Show (Waite) Presentation Transcript