Resilience In The Job Search Master6.21.10

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Resilience In The Job Search Master6.21.10

  1. 1. PAM HOCTOR JOB SEARCH FOCUS GROUP CINCINNATI, OHIO JUNE 21, 2010
  2. 2. RESILIENCE IN THE JOB SEARCH “Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” Michael Jordan
  3. 3. LIFE IS 10% WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU AND 90% HOW YOU DEAL WITH IT RESILIENCE IS A PROCESS
  4. 4. RESILIENCE QUIZ Rate yourself on a scale from 1 to 5  In a crisis or chaotic situation, I calm myself and focus on taking useful actions.  I'm usually optimistic. I see difficulties as temporary and expect to overcome them.  I can tolerate high levels of ambiguity and uncertainty about situations.  I adapt quickly to new developments. I'm good at bouncing back from difficulties.  I'm playful. I find the humor in rough situations, and can laugh at myself.
  5. 5. RESILIENCE QUIZ • I'm able to recover emotionally from losses and setbacks. I have friends I can talk with. I can express my feelings to others and ask for help. Feelings of anger, loss and discouragement don't last long. • I feel self-confident, appreciate myself and have a healthy concept of who I am. • I'm curious. I ask questions. I want to know how things work. I like to try new ways of doing things. • I learn valuable lessons from my experiences and from the experiences of others.
  6. 6. RESILIENCE QUIZ • I'm good at solving problems. I can use analytical logic, be creative, or use practical common sense. • I'm good at making things work well. I'm often asked to lead groups and projects. • I'm very flexible. I feel comfortable with my paradoxical complexity. I'm optimistic and pessimistic, trusting and cautious, unselfish and selfish, and so forth. • I'm always myself, but I've noticed that I'm different in different situations.
  7. 7. RESILIENCE QUIZ • I prefer to work without a written job description. I'm more effective when I'm free to do what I think is best in each situation. • I "read" people well and trust my intuition. • I'm a good listener. I have good empathy skills. • I'm non-judgmental about others and adapt to people's different personality styles. • I'm very durable. I hold up well during tough times. I have an independent spirit underneath my cooperative way of working with others.
  8. 8. RESILIENCE QUIZ • I've been made stronger and better by difficult experiences. • I've converted misfortune into good luck and found benefits in bad experiences. Scoring: 80 or higher very resilient! 65-80 better than most 50-65 slow, but adequate 40-50 you're struggling 40 or under seek help!
  9. 9. WHAT IS RESILIENCE? • The process of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences. • The ability to grow and thrive in the face of challenges and bounce back from adversity. • Having tenacity to thrive through personal and professional stages of your life. • Adapting to life’s misfortunes and setbacks. • Take a lickin’, and keep on tickin’.
  10. 10. WHAT IS RESILIENCE? • Your ability to adapt psychologically, emotionally and physically to a situation “reasonably well” and without lasting detriment to yourself, or your relationships with family and friends.
  11. 11. THE LANGUAGE OF RESILIENCE • I HAVE… • I AM… • I CAN…
  12. 12. THE LANGUAGE OF RESILIENCE • COMMITMENT • FOCUS • CHALLENGE • FORGETTING • CONTROL • FORWARD
  13. 13. Strong relationships, an ability to receive help and social support, a belief in your own competence and strong self-esteem, lie at the heart of resilience. What happens in your past comes alive in you during a disaster and you draw on that.
  14. 14. RESILIENCE CAN BE LEARNED It is possible that people who are not resilient can learn to take charge of their thinking and emotions in order to become resilient.
  15. 15. LIFE By Regina Brett 1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good. 2. Don’t’ take yourself so seriously. No on else does. 3. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present. 4. It’s OK to let your children see you cry. 5. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
  16. 16. 6. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer. 7. No one is in charge of your happiness except you. 8. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. 9. Always choose life. 10. Forgive everyone everything. 11. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
  17. 17. BECOME A REALISTIC OPTIMIST! • Most people are conditioned to see the negatives and dig for deficits. This limits personal potential, education, health, happiness, relationships and successful outcomes personally and professionally. • Resilience and realistic optimism seeks to change that perspective.
  18. 18. FIVE LEVELS OF RESILIENCE 1. Maintaining Your Emotional Stability, Health, and Well-Being • People who become emotionally upset about difficulties, blame others for their feelings, and dwell on their unhappy feelings are the least resilient and have more illnesses. • It is essential to sustain your health and your energy.
  19. 19. FIVE LEVELS OF RESILIENCE 2. Focus Outward: Good Problem Solving Skills • Determination, tolerance and patience provide opportunities for resolving problems. The second level focuses outward on the challenges that must be handled; it is based on research findings that problem- focused coping leads to resilience better than emotion-focused coping.
  20. 20. FIVE LEVELS OF RESILIENCE 3. Focus Inward: Strong Inner “Selfs” • Self-motivated, self-managed, self- knowledge, self-created, self-observation • Develop the ability to rise above challenges, and to see ways through them. The third level focuses inward on the roots of resilience-strong self-esteem, self-confidence, and a positive self- concept.
  21. 21. FIVE LEVELS OF RESILIENCE 4. Well-Developed Resilience Skills • These are skills needed to lead, adapt, innovate, and facilitate while facing constant change. • An “artist of change” sees how to benefit from changes affecting their life. The fourth level covers the attributes and skills found in highly resilient people.
  22. 22. FIVE LEVELS OF RESILIENCE 5. The Talent for Serendipity • Being able to identify an opportunity, grab it, and make it your own. The fifth level describes what is possible at the highest level of resilience. It is the talent for serendipity-the ability to convert misfortune into good fortune.
  23. 23. WHEN FACED WITH ADVERSITY Remember that: • Life isn’t fair, and that can be a good thing for you. Resilience comes from feeling personally responsible for finding a way to overcome the adversity. • Your mind and habits will create either barriers or bridges to a better future. • Nothing in life is permanent. When you are highly resilient you accept and appreciate that constant change is how life is.
  24. 24. WHEN FACED WITH ADVERSITY • The struggle to bounce back and recover from setbacks can lead to developing strengths and abilities that you didn’t know were possible. • Resilience can’t be taught, but it can be learned. It comes from working to develop your unique combination of inborn abilities.
  25. 25. HOW TO BECOME RESILIENT Learn to be resilient by looking at adversity, dealing with it, and ever growing from it by staying involved, not giving up, remaining calm, and making a plan.
  26. 26. HOW TO BECOME RESILIENT Stay Connected Remain Optimistic Be Spiritual Be Playful Give Back Pick You Battles Stay Healthy Actively Seek Solutions Find the Silver Lining
  27. 27. ENJOY “BEHAVIORAL MEDICINES” • MINDFULNESS is being more aware in the present moment of all that is here, and of the constantly changing nature of what is here. • Call mindfulness as careful, open-hearted, choiceless, present moment awareness. • In other words…STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES…literally! • Get outside every day. Miracles are everywhere.
  28. 28. ENJOY “BEHAVIORAL MEDICINES” • WABI-SABI represents an approach to life and art that is in harmony with nature, one that values the handmade and rustic, and recognizes the impermanence of life. It encourages us to be respectful of age, both in things and in ourselves, and it counsels us to be content with what we have rather than always striving for more. • Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
  29. 29. THE EMOTIONAL SIDE OF JOB LOSS • My termination was so painful and emotional. • I am embarrassed at losing my job. • People will think losing my job was my fault. • Why was I let go and someone who didn’t hit a lick managed to dodge the bullet? • How could they treat me like this after all these years?
  30. 30. I HAVE LOST MORE THAN JUST MY JOB • My sense of well being is totally disrupted. • I feel “out of sync.” • I have lost my daily routine. • My self worth is gone. • I was forced to give up an important part of the life I have known and valued for many years. • Relationships at work were important to me. What do I substitute for them? • Roles, relationships, routines, and assumptions in my home life are changed. • I feel rejected.
  31. 31. I HAVE LOST MORE THAN JUST MY JOB • I have lost control. • There is a feeling of helplessness. • I am scared. • My confidence is shattered. • I question my competence. • At times I feel defeated. • The pride I had in my work accomplishments is completely gone. • I don’t know who to turn to. • No one understands what I am going through.
  32. 32. MOURN YOUR LOSS AND MOVE ON! 1. Write about how you feel. This is especially important if the termination was emotional. • Include all the things you would like to have said to your previous bosses but didn’t. • Continue expressing your feelings over and over until you feel emptied. • Due this once a day for a week, and anytime you have a flashback.
  33. 33. MOURN YOUR LOSS AND MOVE ON! 2. Resilience starts with adapting quickly to the new reality. • Get your mind and emotions out of the past. • Think of reasons why it is good that this happened. • What unexpected opportunity has losing your job opened up for you?
  34. 34. MOURN YOUR LOSS AND MOVE ON! 3. Form a small support group. • Spend the first meeting grieving about what all of you have lost. Get mad! • Talk about the way you were terminated, what you miss most, not miss, your accomplishments, etc. • Help each other discover job opportunities. WE HAVE MORE COURAGE FOR EACH OTHER THAN WE HAVE FOR OURSELVES
  35. 35. MOURN YOUR LOSS AND MOVE ON! 4. Rebuild your self-esteem • Make a list of everything you like and appreciate about yourself. • Ask recent co-workers, managers or fellow volunteers for letters of appreciation about how much they enjoyed working with you. • These endorsements will help remind you of all that you contributed and your self-worth.
  36. 36. MOURN YOUR LOSS AND MOVE ON! 5. Write a detailed description of what you do well and practice talking about your reliable strengths. It is okay to brag. • What assignments or projects are you proud about? • What are your strengths and skills? • Describe your people skills.
  37. 37. MOURN YOUR LOSS AND MOVE ON! 6. Discover something of value in your job loss experience. • Get over the victim/blaming reaction. • Why was it good that this happened? • What have you learned from this experience? • How has it made you a stronger, better person? • Find the gift in your job loss.
  38. 38. MOURN YOUR LOSS AND MOVE ON! 7. Make finding a job your job. • Get out and talk with people and network. • Be persistent. • Focus on the employer’s needs, more than your own. • Don’t become preoccupied with past job rejections. • Stay balanced, expect to be hired while being emotionally prepared to be turned down.
  39. 39. MOURN YOUR LOSS AND MOVE ON! 8. Be open to unexpected opportunities. • Keep your eyes and ears open to see and hear opportunity knocking on your door. • Opportunity happens when we least expect it…be ready for it. • If it feels right, don’t hesitate or second guess the opportunity given you. • What calls to you?
  40. 40. MOURN YOUR LOSS AND MOVE ON! 9. Take creative action. Use your imagination. • Use tools that will set you apart from the rest of the job seekers. • Pay attention to your recent employer’s new situation. Could you be hired back as a consultant on a special project? ALWAYS TRY TO LOOK FURTHER THAN YOU CAN SEE
  41. 41. LIFE’S DEFINITION Resilience is… the inherent and nurtured capacity of individuals to deal with life’s stresses in ways that enable them to lead healthy and fulfilled lives.
  42. 42. When hit by a major life disruption, you will never be the same again. You will emerge either stronger or weaker, either better or bitter. You have the ability to determine which way it will be for you.
  43. 43. THREE THINGS IN LIFE Three things in life, once gone, never return Time Words Opportunity Three things in life that can destroy you Anger Pride Unforgiveness
  44. 44. THREE THINGS IN LIFE Three things in life that are most valuable Love Family & Friends Kindness Three things in life that are never certain Fortune Success Dreams
  45. 45. THREE THINGS IN LIFE Three things in life that can make a person Commitment Sincerity Hard work Three things in life to never lose Hope Peace Honesty
  46. 46. THREE THINGS IN LIFE Three things in life you can never get back A spent arrow The spoken word A lost opportunity
  47. 47. SOURCES • OrganisationHealth Psychologists - www.orghealth.co.uk • The Resiliency Center, Dr. Albert Siebert - www.resiliencycenter.com • Medical News Today – www.medicalnewstoday.com • AARP Magazine, November-December 2009, Beth Howard • The Artistry of Change – http://worldcreativity.pbworks.com
  48. 48. SOURCES • Overwhelmed-Coping with Life’s Ups and Downs, Nancy K. Schlossberg (2nd edition) • Carla Rieger – Trainer and Coach - www.carlarieger.com • Newsweek Magazine – What It Takes To Survive – www.newsweek.com • Entrepreneur.com • United States Army –www.defensetalk.com
  49. 49. SOURCES  UC San Diego Health System, health.ucsd.edu/specialties/psych/mindfulness  Are you resilient? By Rachele Kanigel  Wikipedia.org/wiki/Wabi-sabi

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