Reviewofziiidocumentary irene

86 views
73 views

Published on

Published in: Education, Health & Medicine
0 Comments
0 Likes
Statistics
Notes
  • Be the first to comment

  • Be the first to like this

No Downloads
Views
Total views
86
On SlideShare
0
From Embeds
0
Number of Embeds
19
Actions
Shares
0
Downloads
1
Comments
0
Likes
0
Embeds 0
No embeds

No notes for slide

Reviewofziiidocumentary irene

  1. 1. This is my review of my documentary showing evidence and proof of what I changed and what basic electronic aids I used. In the first paragraph I added synonyms making it longer but also making well-structured with saying who was in my group and what we had to do. I added more connectives and more words such as short film I added /documentary to show people who would be reading this for the first time they would know what we’re talking about. In the last draft I added more conventions even if I didn’t explain them I showed we learnt quite a few other conventions and making the paragraph interesting and longer.
  2. 2. Here I added more adjectives to describe more and give out the purpose of this review of the documentary and what was the purpose of it. In the first draft there weren’t much detail and in this last one I added extra information and more detail into it making it more factual as possible.
  3. 3. This paragraph I didn’t do much changing but only re- worded as it didn’t make sense. Here below shows the last draft of my review showing what changes I have done to each 3 drafts.
  4. 4. As you can see in my three other drafts on the blog you can clearly see the changes I done. Mostly what I done was proof read it over and over again to see if it made sense reading out loud so I changed few words and sentences through the Review making more sense and adding more connectives, adjectives and other electronic aids that helped me. Here also I’ve used electronically gadgets to check my spelling and here I’ve used misspelling of the word inconvenient. I added more connectives and adjectives telling more of a descriptive way about the sound being muffled.

×