The Warp Pipe Forums Newspaper• Edited by Hasfarr• Issue #2, 1-2-2012
THE WARP PIPE FORUMS 1-2-2012 You haters slippin’, we bacon flippin’ - Since 2009 Karts and Notes Coming off the release of Members of the forum have Mario Kart 7 last month, also used their 3DS forum members have been handhelds to communicate racing against each other and share some drawings very often in the past few with each other. weeks. Swapnote for the Nintendo Members usually get 3DS is an app where one together online every night can send drawings, referred and race each other for fun. to as “notes”, to a group of people, and vice-versa. To User Smashogun has see a video of the various started a tournament, which notes that have been sent will be held today. recently, go to my YouTube Here is the code to join The channel: Warp Pipe’s Mario Kart www.youtube.com/hasfarr community: 22-4111-4039- 8465
THE WARP PIPE FORUMS 1-2-2012 A column by GameFreak043 - Since 2009 How to survive The Warp Pipe Greetings lost children! My Anyway, thats enough about name is Mustachio Joe. You me. This column is a may know me as paradise for all the sad little gamefreak043, a proud, lost children who wish to beloved and totally not have a decent stay. To be egotistical member of the honest, this place and the Warp Pipe Forums. Why am previous incarnations of this I going under a different place has a problem name for this column, you concerning any possible new ask? The reason being is members leaving us after that I have found new that their introduction threads few people trust individuals due to being scared off by with such a *ahem* "ghey" veteran members. name such as "gamefreak043". As such, I have changed my name to a more "trustworthy" alias. Why did I tell you all Im gamefreak043 anyway? Because shut up.
THE WARP PIPE FORUMS 1-2-2012 A column by GameFreak043 - Since 2009 How to survive The Warp PipeThis weekly column is here How to Survive the Warp Pipe Forums Day 2: This "Rahpeed" fellow seems like a pretty kewlto provide you with the guyinformation you need inorder to survive The Warp Now that you know the majority of the terms that this forum and newspaper column will be using, it isPipe Forums. We may look time to do some reconnaissance on the various individuals you will meet in this forum. In internetintimidating at first, but if you speak, this translates into "Lurk moar".follow this column you will beable to fit right in and realize To do this, we will be sorting the members into 3 general categories. These 3 categories are asjust how great of a follows.community we are.Now, let us begin. Good Fella: These individuals are the good-hearted and nicer individuals in this god-forsaken cesspool of a forum. These are the people who you can always rely on and they will happily assist you in any way you can. Bad Fella: These people arent the good-hearted and nicer individuals in this forum. They may know how to have a good time and you may want to hang around them, but be cautious. These people are troubled, have questionable motives, and/or are jackasses. Always have your guard up around these people. Borderline Fella: People who are not quite the saints of good fella nor the likes of bad fella.
THE WARP PIPE FORUMS 1-2-2012 A column by GameFreak043 - Since 2009 How to survive The Warp PipeHow to Survive the Warp Pipe Forums Day 2: This "Rahpeed" fellow seems like a pretty kewl guyThat said, we are all different judges of character, so your list may differ from everyone elses. I will walk you through a fewmembers to set you on the right track.And if you say something about "But Joe, thats judging a book by its cover. Mommy told me thats BAAAAAAD", then you cango piss off.gamefreak043: This fella is an oddball. He seems to be the kind of guy who rarely contributes to conversations at hand and hisposts are often either irrelevant or off-topic. Of course, he was the person who convinced me to write this article for you sadlittle children, so he seemed like a good fella at first glance. However, he insisted that he was a bad fella, which I thought wascrazy. He told me that he is the embodiment of our worst nightmares, just waiting to strike when we are at our most vulnerable.I thought he was just plain wacky. But after he knocked me to the ground, nailed my wrists to the ground, hacked both my legsoff with a cup of ramen noodles, and forced me to watch Garbage Pail Kids, I decided he had a point.
THE WARP PIPE FORUMS 1-2-2012 A column by GameFreak043 - Since 2009 How to survive The Warp PipeHow to Survive the Warp Pipe Forums Day 2: This "Rahpeed" fellow seems like a pretty kewl guyBAD FELLAGameboii64: This individual delights getting various topics derailed due to his constant usage of the phrases "nou" and"nou@all" all while calling the other members of the forum homosexuals. It has gotten to the point where his and Zels anticsgot so bad that he got the above terms and "fgt" censored from the forum for a time.BAD FELLAZel: He was one of the individuals responsible for a number of derailed threads and the previously mentioned censoring due tohis constant making out with bickering with Gameboii64. I would also like to point out that Chiara, A former alias of his, is agirls name.BAD FELLAMirage2777: An administrator for the forum, he seems like a pretty kewl guy. However, confirmed rumors persist that he has agas chamber in his dorm room where he sticks jewish individuals to die a horrible death. Unconfirmed rumors also state that heenjoys *ahem* "fapping" to a certain character in the popular video game "The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword". Personally, Iwould keep my distance if I were you.
THE WARP PIPE FORUMS 1-2-2012 A column by GameFreak043 - Since 2009 How to survive The Warp PipeHow to Survive the Warp Pipe Forums Day 2: This "Rahpeed" fellow seems like a pretty kewl guyBAD FELLAwolfenflautist0994: Lets just say theres a pretty good reason why she is a demoted moderator.BAD FELLABlue-Wolf-330: The fact that he admitted to watching iCarly makes him a troubled member. In what category do troubledmembers go to?BAD FELLAThese examples should set you in the right track to complete the rest of the list for yourself. Now, you may be thinking "ButJoe, how come everyone you analyzed is a bad fella?". Well, the answer is really quite simple....Errrr- GOODNESS, just look at the time! That is all the time we have for today. Join us next week for Day 3 of How to Survivethe Warp Pipe Forums, where I will give you a brief glimpse into our history so you know just what the hell your fellowcomrades are talking about.
THE WARP PIPE FORUMS 1-2-2012 Too big to fail - Since 2009 Nintendo Weekly – A Review Last month, Mario Kart 7 On to the music. Kenta was released to rave Negata does a nice job of reviews. Here’s my take on composing music for the the game. game. He has helped retain the fast-paced feel that most Let’s start with the graphics. Mario Kart music has had. The character models have Retro courses re-use the been greatly improved from original music from their Mario Kart DS, Mario’s last game. handheld go-kart outing. The models even look better Fun-fact: When you are in than they were in Mario Kart first place in this game and Wii, the last Mario Kart you have a good lead, an game. The tracks are neatly added drum track will play. detailed, and look even better in 3D mode.
THE WARP PIPE FORUMS 1-2-2012 Too big to fail - Since 2009 Nintendo Weekly – A Review To the courses. The courses Now for the Karts. A new range from normal (Toad feature has appeared that Circuit, for example) to allows people to customize throwback (Piranha Plant their karts with different Slide has some elements of wheels, bodies and gliders. Super Mario Bros.) to the This allows for absolutely absurd (Music experimenting with all the Park). Courses based off different options, allowing for other games appear as well. more strategy. DK Jungle is a course based The characters in this game on Donkey Kong Country include the regulars: Returns and was designed Mario, Yoshi, Luigi, Bowser, by its developer, Retro Peach, etc. New characters Studios. Wuhu Island from include Metal Mario (Super Wii Sports Resort and Wii Fit Mario 64) and the Honeybee also appears. There are 16 Queen (Super Mario Galaxy retro courses in addition to 1 & 2). the 16 new ones.
THE WARP PIPE FORUMS 1-2-2012 Too big to fail - Since 2009 Nintendo Weekly – A Review Now, last, but definitely not Another feature is the ability least, the gameplay. to drive underwater. Previously in the series, if The gameplay still maintains you went underwater, you the tried and true Mario Kart would be pulled out by formula while keeping it Lakitu. While that is still fresh. While most of the possible, many courses gameplay is the same, new have underwater portions features like air gliders have where you drive underwater. been added. If you launch This has been reflected in off a blue speed panel, you retro courses like Koopa will be able to glide through Cape (Wii) and Daisy the air for a few seconds. Cruiser (GCN). This allows for a chance to get in front of other racers. These gameplay elements have been done great and show that Mario Kart is one of the best racing series out there.
THE WARP PIPE FORUMS 1-2-2012 Too big to fail - Since 2009 Nintendo Weekly – A Review However, that’s not to say Yes, at first, in the 50cc and that there aren’t any 100cc cups, it seems problems with the game. relatively easy to get in 1st Some courses, like Wario place. But once you get to Shipyard, come off as bland the 150cc cups, it seems like and boring to me. And the hell just to get to 3rd. When choice of retro courses is not you get to a top 4 position perfect – irritating courses while racing, it seems like like Maple Treeway (Wii), the other racers get all the which is hard to navigate items they want. For through, have returned only example, if you are in 1st to be more irritating to place, it only takes a few players. seconds for you to get hit by a Red or Blue Shell. And the biggest problem is something that Mario Kart has been synonymous with: rubberband AI.
THE WARP PIPE FORUMS 1-2-2012 Too big to fail - Since 2009 Nintendo Weekly – A Review The Wi-Fi is outstanding in When all is said and this game. For the most part, done, though, Mario Kart 7 there is no lag and you are is a fun and well-done game able to smoothly race with to play. This is a must-have others around the world. for your 3DS system, and one of the best games out You can also join there. communities of racers on Wi-Fi, competing to get the I give this game a 9/10 for most points. The Warp Pipe fun gameplay, cool courses community’s code can be and great Wi-Fi. It’s a great seen on the front page of the game to play with paper. friends, and I recommend you buy this game immediately.