The Charcuterie Colloquium Connection

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The Charcuterie Colloquium Connection

  1. 1. The Charcuterie Colloquium Connection<br />A brief presentation on all things pork, Beethoven, and ethnic hair<br />
  2. 2. So apparently this presentation is about how locations influence music, and includes examples of Beethoven songs<br />This presentation will be made clearer if you read the chat between my mom and I. I’ve provided it on the next page. <br />
  3. 3. Mom: what does "charcuterie" mean? Sierra: I have no idea Mom: you have a dictionary? Sierra: unomomento a store where pork products, as hams, sausages, and pâtés are sold. or items sold in said stores where on earth did you come across a term like that? Mom: Adam and his friends use such large words Sierra: lol oh. I should have known. but really, why can't you just say pork store? Mom: "pork store" doesn't sound very intellectual It was for his music colloquium lecture Sierra: do I even want to know how he related music to sausage shops? Mom: two separate topics, his lecture was about how geographic locations influence music and could be heard in said music. but he got a frig and one of his friends commented that most charcuterie doesn't require a frig Sierra: frig? I'm assuming that is a contraction of "fro" and "wig" and am now picturing a pork shop employee in a fake afro Mom: refrigerator! Sierra: oh that would be "fridge" Mom: ok, he got an electric appliance used for cooling foodstuffs Sierra: better.<br />
  4. 4. So. There once was a boy named Ludwig. We’ll call him Ludo for short.<br />
  5. 5. Ludo works in a charcuterie<br />
  6. 6. Now, one day, Ludo got a frig, which everyone knows is a combination of “fro” (afro) and “wig”.<br />
  7. 7. Most charcuterie doesn't require a frig, but Ludo didn’t care.<br />
  8. 8. Ludo loved his frig.<br />It almost made working in the charcuterie worthwhile.<br />
  9. 9. But soon everyone in the charcuterie made fun of his frig.<br />
  10. 10. This made Ludo very sad.Like, slit-your-wrists depressed.<br />
  11. 11. So, later, when Ludo, more well known today as Ludwig Van Beethoven, had quit his day job and was writing his music, his time at the location of the charcuterie influenced it.<br />
  12. 12. “I’m gonna write the Moonlight Sonata first movement because it’s wrist slittingly depressing,” he said, as he thought of ham and cried.<br />
  13. 13. THE END<br />

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