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Vol 9 Gtw Final

  1. 1. Insight and Inspiration Volume 9, Issue 9 February 15, 2009 Global Thinking Women DEVELOPMENT AND LEADERSHIP ODATS ORGANIZATIONAL Clouds and Sunset Photos by Tim Trumble; Others from Google Image
  2. 2. Inside February’s Issue: Tending To Our Inner Lives 2-3 From the Editor Shavawn M Berry 4 Suddenly I See... 5 Gradual Realizations February has turned out to be a very busy (translation: insane!) 6 Taking Control month for me. Almost as soon as the ink dried on 7 Call for Presentations the last piece I wrote for Global Thinking Women in Janu- ary, more and more work stacked up on my desk, defying my 8 Choosing to Change intention to take care of myself and put my own needs first. I 9 Carrying Her Memory had to complete my annual self-evaluation for my work as a teacher, which involves reflecting on my teaching during the 10 Arts Center/Leadership past year, as well as assessing my contributions to the univer- sity, and my professional development activities. This report is usually not due until April, but with the budget crisis in Arizona 11 Epiphany on Aisle Six threatening the stability of many jobs in the teaching field, we were asked to complete it early. We are all nervously wonder- ing what’s next. In addition, I taught my classes, wrote papers for coursework I am completing, read several novels (required for my literature course), interacted with my students, mentored the interns for GTW, prepared two detailed conference presen- tations (one on an interactive writing wiki and one on using creative writing prompts in a variety of settings), and volun- Note to teered my time to help out at the Arizona State University Desert Night, Rising Stars Writers Conference. As all of Self this has unfolded, I watched myself working to stretch my ca- pacity and to do all that is expected of me, both in personal and professional terms. I felt like I was walking a tightrope over a deep canyon, hoping to not look down, to not imagine what would happen if I lost my footing. I suppose what this situation has arisen to show me is Today I pledge to take care of that I have more capacity than I sometimes realize; however, just because I can do something, doesn’t mean I should. I do myself as well as I take care of need to limit the number of commitments I make, if for no other reason, other than to maintain a base-level of sanity! others. My insight this month, as I reflect on the topic of epiph- I pledge to acknowledge my need any, has to do with returning again (and again) to my commit- ment to maintain balance in my life. That way, I will have to rest, and therefore revive, my enough of myself to fully enter into my inner life (as well as my outer life). One cannot have one without the other. As a own life through practicing the woman I have the ability to juggle many divergent responsibili- ties. I am both a long-range thinker and an adept manager of art of extreme self care. minutiae. Many people and projects and ideas and dreams call out for my time and attention. Part of me is a people pleaser I pledge to love myself and give (as many women are) and I long to be able to say “yes” whether I truly have the time or capacity to do so. I don’t like to see dis- myself time to enjoy all of my appointment on the faces of my students or those I love. At those times, I think, perhaps, just for today I can push myself life... for a bit longer. Page 2 G L O B A L T HI N K I N G W O M E N
  3. 3. Tending To Our Inner Lives But there are limits to my capacity. There have to be limits for all of us, in order for our gifts to be valued as just that: gifts. If I just give and give and give without any attention to my own needs, then those gifts of listening, and time, and effort can sometimes be taken for granted. And when that happens, I find my spirit curling into a fist, feeling overlooked and undervalued. And who is to blame for that? I am. I am the one who did not set any boundaries or demand that I be given the time I need to rest and reclaim my life. Interestingly, it is my three cats who brought this message home for me. My three lovely beasts, Emma, Ed, and Finn, got very lonely during the time I rushed into the thick of things, gone for twelve or fourteen hours a day for the past couple of weeks. They whimpered and talked incessantly when I came home. Although I was blindly tired from another long day, my cats wanted my lap, my love, and my care. And all I wanted was to go to bed and not be “bothered” with that — because my exhaustion was so acute that I felt myself starting to get ill. The kitties woke me repeatedly during the night, to love them and feed them, even when it was unlikely they were actually hungry. When, in retaliation for their interruptions, I locked them outside of my bedroom, they wailed at the door, plaintively questioning why they could not be with me. They missed me. They needed me. Finally, toward the end of this overbooked week, I came home from a poetry reading and went into my office to check my email. As I sat down, I felt something slimy and cold through my trousers. One of the cats had been sick on the chair, a chair they know I use every day. For a moment, revulsion over the fact I Then I was sitting in vomit, hit me. got the message: we are sick without you here. My pets (just like my inner life) need my care. They cannot live without my love and at- tention. And so it is with me. I cannot live without caring for myself and my needs. In this time of crisis — both locally, nationally, and internationally — it is easy to feel like resting is not an option. It is tempting to think that the world will move ahead without us, if we do not continue to run madly alongside the speeding train. We want to believe that we are indispensi- ble and indestructible. We are not. Others can, and will, take up the slack if we do not step up and volun- teer to do more. And, if we truly want to avoid illness and resentment, we should let them. Taking time for ourselves is not selfish. On the contrary, it is the first sane step toward self love. I have another wild week ahead, as I am sure many of us do. Even so, I plan to take a half an hour each morning to sit quietly and listen to my life. Some days that much time may not be possible. I may have only ten minutes. I’ll take it. I will take it as a small slice of the day that is only for me. It is time that I will We need to give the best of ourselves to the causes guard as sacrosanct. and concerns that are most meaningful to us. We do not, how- ever, need to give all of ourselves away. At the end of the day, we have to have something left — something warm and real — for ourselves. Otherwise, no matter how much we do for oth- ers, we will start to hate our lives. Our gifts will not be given freely and fully. That is not the way to live even one precious day of our most precious lives. I won’t do it anymore. I simply cannot. More of Shavawn M. Berry’s writing can be read on her website, www.shavawnmberry.com Page 3 VOLUME 9, ISSUE 9
  4. 4. Suddenly I See, How Therapy Set Me Free by Sarah Maschoff The moment I realized I needed therapy was when I broke down crying in my car over a lost CD. For nearly six months, I had labored under the near constant weight of depres- sion brought on by a series of unfortunate events. These events, from a family crisis to my best friend moving away, to general stress at school, led to a consistent pattern of headaches, sadness, and sleepless nights. These problems were even more exacerbated by my family and friends unwillingness to admit that anything was wrong with me. So after finding my elusive copy of the Best of the Cranberries CD, I knew it was time to seek help. Due to the subconsciously self-imposed denial by the people around me, I also knew that this was the first time in my life that I would have to truly take care of myself. This realization held two very distinct emotions for me: it made me feel inde- pendent and more like an adult; while feeling even worse in knowing that I was all alone. However, it was under these varying and intense emotions that I finally sought the professional help of a counselor. After the initial feeling of overt terror, it was a fairly easy process to un- dertake. Doing a simple Internet search I found the name and phone number of a local counselor. Looking back on this time, I now know that this choice saved my life. It saved me from not only chronic insomnia, but also from living the sort of half-life that comes with these feelings of weakness and inse- curity. For millions of women, my situation will feel similar to their own. We suffer from depression due to a myriad of causes, from certain chemical imbalances to specific, sometimes life-changing, events. Ironically, this sad fact has indeed made me feel less alone, and even more willing to continue working on my mental well-being as well as my overall happiness. In our ever shrinking and fast paced society, mental health can go by the wayside as many see depression as an obvious and incurable result of a hostile world. But my experi- ences have taught me that happiness is not automatic in one’s life, but something we have to fight to achieve. Being a woman is complicated and it requires a lot of balancing as well as immeasurable strength. For me, the hardest thing about depression was feeling I was weak for allowing “it” to happen to me. And in today’s soci- ety, when women constantly have to demonstrate unparallel strength in their lives, it is often hard to ask for help. But as women, we owe it to ourselves, to live our lives to the fullest extent, and to show our strength as human beings by making our lives better. My mother always says to take an aspirin when you have a head- ache, “because there’s no need to suffer with a headache when you have something to fix it.” The same goes for depression. There’s no need to suffer when you have something to fix it. Get the help you need. You will be glad you did. For more information on local counseling centers or hotlines, contact: Arizona Suicide Counseling & Consultation and Crisis Hotlines: at Arizona State University: http://suicidehotlines.com/ Student Services Building, arizona.html Room 334 P.O. Box 871012 Tempe, AZ Mental Health America of 85287-1012 Arizona: Hours: Monday - Friday, 480-994-4407 8:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m. http://mhaarizona.org/index.html 480-965-6146 Page 4 G L O B A L T HI N K I N G W O M E N
  5. 5. Gradual Realizations by Maggie Flanagan When I began to think about what to write, I found myself struggling to define epiphany, a term that is a multifaceted, abstract idea. You can define it like a cartoon light bulb magically going off over a character’s head, but I don’t think that it has to be defined that way. For many, that is what the idea of epiphany has come to. Epiphanies have become our “A-ha!” moments, the moments when we realize something completely new about ourselves or our worlds. For me, however, my changes don’t arrive through a sudden realization of something new. Sometimes you change your stance on something gradually, without even realizing it. As humans we grow up slowly, not suddenly. We don’t wake up one day knowing how to swim. We are taught to swim. We experience it firsthand. Maybe at first the lesson doesn’t sink in. We have to practice swimming a few times before we fully understand that the pressure in our lungs will continue to build and build while we are under the surface of the water, unless we rush up for a new breath. I don’t think that all les- sons or experiences end with this sudden understanding, but some do. However, sometimes it’s a gradual awareness that an experience impacts us, and we learn from it or different because of it. I have never once had a sudden conscious insight into my life. I don’t need an idea or a realization to clobber me over the head, and sometimes even when it does I don’t always recognize it. My epiphanies are more like ninjas, they sneak up on me and knock me out. I wake up afterwards a little disoriented, trying to piece everything together. Like swimming, I knew I needed to sur- face to breathe, but for a time, I felt that didn’t apply to me. See, I was going to be a mermaid. My days as a mermaid ended quickly enough after I found myself coughing up enough water to refill our pool twice over, but it wasn’t like I knew it right away. I kept denying it and then eventually grew tired and wanted to spend my time in the pool just swim- ming. That’s how I learn things. Most of the time I realize years later that I did something different or I changed in some way. For me, learning comes from serious reflection about my life as I develop and grow. I don’t get clobbered over the head by an “Ah-ha!” moment. I mature and change gradually. I make choices and I change through those choices. Sometimes I can pinpoint what experience affected me and other times I simply made a decision without comprehending it’s impact. My realization, or epiphany, came years later. Global Thinking Women Have Something To Say! Global Thinking Women Kim Eagles, M.A.—Global Leadership Founder/Director Tempe, AZ 85281 kim_eagles@msn.com www/igloo.org/arizonacommunity www.igloo.or/kim_eagles We’re on the Web! http://eagles-thinkingwomen.blogspot.com/ http://globalthinkingwomen.weebly.com/ A Division of: ODATS Organizational Leadership and Development Training System Page 5 VOLUME 9, ISSUE 9
  6. 6. Taking Control by Sarah Bramlett There are many differ- simple act. She was the only one ent health risks that modern who had control over her own women face today. And while safety at that moment, and yet, she some are large with harder to threw it all to chance. Perhaps she find solutions, others are smaller was still too naïve at her age to real- and therefore, curable through ize the importance of protecting the advent of modern medicine herself; however, even at such a when detected in time. However, young age the importance never many women still ignore the diminishes. signs their bodies give them as if Too many women ignore nothing is wrong. Too many their most basic survival instincts, Growing up, it was not women are dying young, because and the price they are forced to pay uncommon for our mothers, fa- they are not standing up and is usually catastrophic. It is ex- thers, and teachers to instruct us taking charge of their own tremely important to speak up and regarding the benefits of washing health, or even basic safety. take charge when at the doctor’s our hands, buckling our seatbelts, Recently, the cousin of a office. It is important to remember and doing a variety of other tedi- that our health is our doctors’ num- ous tasks. As children, we gener- ber one priority, and their business ally deemed these admonitions as is to help us take care of ourselves. useless and tiresome, while our So speak up if there is something guardians recognized their neces- bothering you. As women of the sity in basic survival. So now that new millennium, it is up to us to we are all grown up and the take control of our life and our watchful eyes of our parents have health. No one knows our bod- been diminished, when is it time ies as well as we do and no one to begin taking charge of our own can protect it as strongly as we can. health and safety? After a recent health scare, I have been forced to look at my own health a little more closely. I realized I have come to a point in my life where the only close friend of mine was killed in person who can protect me, is me. a horrific car accident, just days This was a wake-up call for me. before her nineteenth birthday. Afterwards, I started to look at Like a typical teenager, she be- my life in a different manner. I lieved she would never die, and knew I needed to take a more ac- as a result, lived her life reck- tive role in looking after my basic lessly. The most tragic part of health. her death is that it could have Taking care of easily been prevented, if she had our own wellbeing only worn her seatbelt. is the single most It is always a tragedy when a life is lost, especially one important thing we so young. But it compounds the can do as women. tragedy when her death could have been prevented by such a Page 6 G L O B A L T HI N K I N G W O M E N
  7. 7. CALL FOR SYMPOSIUM PRESENTATIONS Women Making a World of Difference Discovering and Honoring Our Purpose, Path, and Passion Zhengzhou, Henan, Province, People’s Republic of China May 23-24, 2009 SYMPOSIUM TOPICS DEADLINE FOR SUBMISSION : March 4, 2009. Selected presenters will be notified by March 16 and must register with a $600.00 deposit by March 31 to insure inclusion on the Symposium program. Se- lected presenters must submit full papers of their presentation for translators by April 24. Submit all items by e-mail attachment to Discovering Our Life Path  women@globalinteractions.org. Expressing Our Leadership  Use Times New Roman 12 pt font. All submissions Caring for Our Health and Environ-  will be acknowledged. Submission will not be re- ment turned. Presenters are invited to attend the pre- Symposium study program beginning May 13. All Connecting Our Communities  delegates must arrive at SIAS by May20 and remain Nurturing Our Families and Rela- through the close of the Symposium and opening of  the World Academy for the Future of Women on tionships May 24. Would you like to write for Global Thinking Women ? Do you have expertise to share with other women? Our next three issues will cover the following themes: Women’s Activism For a Global Community—March 2009 Unity — Seeding and Fostering It —April 2009 Moving Forward — Advancing Toward Our Dreams—May 2009 Submit articles, article ideas, or ideas for themes for upcoming issues to shavawn.berry@msn.com Articles are due on 5th of the month for each monthly issue, so for March, it is March 5; for April, April 5, for May, May 5th. Page 7 VOLUME 9, ISSUE 9
  8. 8. Epiphany—Choosing to Change by Kim Eagles Epiphany - a sudden intuitive leap of under- life intelligently and competently leading them to an standing, especially through an ordinary but striking abundant and successful life. occurrence. The purpose of this volume is to understand Revitalization - Renewal, renaissance, new the reality and change that requires wisdom. It is a life and recovery. belief that when we make a decision to change we The human spirit is intricate, vast and can be must all come to grips with that it requires doing described infinitely in its definition—the spirit is to most things that we are use to doing differently. the soul as the soul is to the body. The human spirit And it is to the degree that we make an hon- is alive and strives to gain life just as any living or- est assessment of where our hearts are, start ganism. It is powered by the same force that orches- from that point and go forward that we truly trates the oceans tide, fragile as Strauss Crystal of begin to experience all that our human spirit Switzerland and resilient as tita- has for us. No matter where we are nium steel. in our spiritual relationships, there is always room for growth that will The fear of changing is as bring us to a place of greater service complicated as the consequences if and intimate relationship with God. we do not change a negative habit, Remember that God has promised to behavior, lifestyle or mindset. In perfect all that concerns us and He is essence, it has the potential of kill- the self-proclaimed author and fin- ing the human spirit. isher of our faith. The epiphany is that this Change requires action. unique energy of the human spirit Change requires planning including a is at risk of diminishing if left iso- strategy with the intention to evoke lated and neglected. Let’s review proactive change and new awareness ideas from the introduction of the in various areas of life that have com- book entitled, Wisdom’s Rule of plicated and/or stifled healthy Change Book. growth in your live. This series is a In spiritual circles we often tool for an introduction to self evolu- hear of the certain terms of formal tion of past and present beliefs, con- words or religious phrases that are cepts, and misconceptions that may common in conversation to only those in that cir- have caused confusion and misdirection of biblical cle—such as: the human spirit, formal prayer, those theory. For far too long individuals have depended heavenly tone and speech patterns or writing that on churches and teachings of others for spiritual often can and does intimidate—and ‘we’ the average wisdom one-on-one with our heavenly Father—but, person don’t have a clue or concept of what that per- today is that time to change. son is even talking about—it’s as if there is a secret Actually creating a personal blue print of language— The Wisdom’s Rule of Change attempts your life’s experiences, as well as exploring the the- to break down barriers of misunderstanding to ory that make you who you are and creates the de- achieving understanding. sire to find the person you wish to become, make The Hebrew word for proverb is this an invaluable book. quot;comparisonquot; and also refers to an aphorism (cliché No more hiding and being or a saying) or declaration, a principal or to a dia- logue. Wisdom and knowledge are key words of the fearful of the past—choose to Proverbs, leading to right living, moral discipline for change! Be intentional and one's life whether good and bad, what matters most and what does not matter at all. In the words of live! Solomon—this leader shows the student how to live Page 8 G L O B A L T HI N K I N G W O M E N
  9. 9. Carrying Her Memory With Me by Mary Powell tioneers on a daily basis, who her throat and still cannot talk. On could arm wrestle me to the our visits, her index finger lures ground for the first sixty five my husband and me to her bedside years of her life, and mowed her with pen and paper, a twinkle in own lawn until the age of sev- her hazel eyes. All 81 years of her enty with a push-mower, did not is still breathing, fighting to sur- have the strength to open her vive. eyelids. Just two days before, Despite all the degrees I she babysat my autistic brother; earn, the pats on the back from just twenty four hours earlier colleagues and friends, parties at- she walked one mile to Safeway, tended, and nights out on the pushing a cart of groceries town, I need to make time for the home; her strong, sturdy Sicilian very person who changed my dia- body traversing the streets she pers. The one who fed and clothed had walked upon for the past me, taught me how to color an ap- fifty years with confidence. ple tree, recited Bible verses from When the less fortunate desired heart, and who encouraged my help, she bought them a loaf of love for literature and poetry. bread and peanut butter, always Something’s got to give, but I will eager to assist those who were in not let it be her. To grandmother’s An urgent voicemail left by my need. When others questioned house I will go; I hope to God, she mother resonated in my ears. her political support of the De- can spring back to who she once One that I did not hear until mocratic Party, she admonished was. What remains important are over thirty-six hours after it was them saying, “I vote for the party all the times you say “I love you” initially left. “Mary, your grand- that gives, not takes.” This not “I owe you” or the “to dos” in mother is in the hospital. She woman was stainless steel, life. My grandmother is my heart has pneumonia and sepsis. Get sturdy and unvarnished. and I remain attached to her, des- down to the hospital as soon as Despite this tough exte- perately craving one last time to- you can!” My husband was out rior, she had become weak with gether-out, unhooked from the of town in North Carolina on a heart condition that she hid wires and tubes that attach us. business, and I was busy with from us for five years. Author’s Note: my career, working full time as I spent infinite hours in an English teacher and doctoral My grandmother passed away on February front of my computer writing student. I was entrenched in 1st, 2009 at 5:45 pm. I will carry her mem- ory with me always. articles, grading papers, and an- writing an article on student lit- swering e-mails. There were so eracy practices while my grand- many times when I thought, I mother was potentially dying. I should visit her, but I am too spent nine and a half hour days busy, maybe tomorrow. There at school, from dawn until dusk, were so many lost opportunities, writing lesson plans, checking when she was free and I was student papers without realizing tied; now she is tied and I can- someone I loved deeply was suf- not reach her despite my need fering. to. I went to see my grand- My grandmother is cur- mother the next evening. She rently recovering in a hospice was plugged into a respirator, near St. Joseph’s Hospital after with tubes flowing in and out of one week of ICU treatment. She her and was heavily sedated. has a trachea tube inserted into This woman, who out spoke auc- Page 9 VOLUME 9, ISSUE 9
  10. 10. A Jewel in the Crown: Tempe Center for the Arts The Tempe Center for the Arts (TCA), located at 700 W. Rio Salado Parkway, is one of the finest venues in Arizona – a jewel in the crown of a city known for its support of the arts. The strikingly magnificent TCA, De- signed by Tempe-based Architect and award- winning Barton Myers Associates of Los An- geles, houses a state-of-the-art, 600-seat pro- scenium theater, a 200-seat studio theater and a 3,500 square-foot gallery. The finely appointed Lakeside overlooks Town Lake, with views of the Papago and Camelback mountains, and is available for meetings, ban- quets and special events. The TCA, located on the southwest end of Tempe Town Lake, resides in a beautifully appointed 17- acre lakeside art park developed by Design Workshop, a Tempe landscape architecture firm. A pedestrian bridge is scheduled for completion in 2010 that will complete a loop around Tempe Town Lake and join the north bank with the south in front of the TCA. Local favorites including Childsplay, Tempe Little Theatre, the Tempe Symphony Orchestra, the Tempe Community Chorus, A. Ludwig Dance, Desert Dance and the Tempe Wind Ensemble perform on the center’s stages. For booking information contact: Susanne Durgam-Bighorn 700 W. Rio Salado Parkway • Tempe, AZ 85281 • Box Office: 480/350-2TCA (2822) • Facsimile: 480/350- 2828 Event booking:480/350-2814 • Education/Tours: 480/350-5679 5 Messages Prepare Girls to Lead by Shavawn M. Berry In the 1991 book, Women Power: The Secrets of Leadership, Dr. Dorothy Cantor and Toni Bernay outlined what they found were messages little girls needed to get in order to become leaders. Dr. Cantor and several other psychologists interviewed 25 high-ranking female politicians in the early 90s and found that all of them had received similar messages in their families of origin. These messages are fre- quently given to boys, but are less likely to be given to young girls:  You are loved and special  You can set goals and do anything you want  It is permissible to take risks  You can use and enjoy “creative aggression”  You can dream of greatness (Cantor & Bernay, Women Power). More recently, Dr. Cantor co-authored Finding Your Voice—A Woman’s Guide to Using Self- Talk for Fulfilling Relationships, Work and Life with seven other female psychologists. In it, she (and her co-writers) encourage women to utilize psychological techniques to stop the self-critical and unpro- ductive thinking that blocks them from living their best lives. It is a “highly readable and practical manual for self-fulfillment” (http://www.finding-your-voice.com/). The information we receive in life, and the way we “talk” to ourselves can make a tremendous difference, either positively or negatively. As women we often buy into messages society sends us about how svelte we should be, or how we should seek perfection, be all things to all people, or know exactly what to do in every situation. The encouragement to take risks, dream of greatness, and set goals is crucial in fostering our ability to build lives we truly want. Empowering our- selves (and our daughters) through messages about our value and capability is an important first step. Page 10 G L O B A L T HI N K I N G W O M E N
  11. 11. Epiphany on Aisle Six By Wendy Brunner Epiphanies may be like dreams, much more interesting to the teller, than the listener. But I will take the risk. Most of you, past a certain age, will probably recall a similar incident in your own life. In 2003 I was living near San Francisco in a sleepy town just over the Golden Gate Bridge with my husband and two small children. We were renting a nice home near the water, one we could barely afford. And, along with the birth of my son—a son with Down Syndrome and a slew of serious medical issues—I had just started a new job. My husband was a pilot, which kept him out of town more than half the time, and left me mostly on my own with our kids. Looking back at those days, I feel thankful they are behind me. But even in the throes of slow moving and rou- tine days, there can be days you remember. This one particular afternoon I realized I needed pita bread for and a beard. He calmly responded to my mutter- dinner. So the kids and I went to the local Safeway. I ings by saying, “It is right there,” pointing to the often avoided this Safeway because it frustrated me. It bottom shelf. I barely looked at him but did say was old and the aisles were narrow, barely allowing thank you, letting out a slightly embarrassed for two carts passing. Inevitably my way would be laugh. It was right there. I still hear his response blocked and I would blame the other shoppers for be- in my head today. ing in the way even though I knew it wasn’t their fault that grocery carts had doubled in size since the seven- “Sometimes the thing you’re ties and no longer fit this store’s design. looking for is right in front of Aisle six was the bread aisle. My thoughts you.” were racing as usual: Was my son breathing ok? Did he look blue? Was my daughter staying with me and I knelt down and took the bread, telling my not touching everything? Had I turned off the stove? son, “We found it!” In between, I scanned the shelves in vain, When I turned around the man was looking for the round bread I was seeking. I looked up gone. His words flashed through my mind. What and down, back and forth growing increasingly frus- had he said again? “Sometimes the thing you’re trated with this simple task. looking for is right in front of you.” I remembered that in some stores they think it I caught my breath. Was he talking about logical to have pita bread in the deli instead of the bread or was he being ironic? (Or perhaps he was bread aisle. Who thought of this, I wondered? just being flat out sarcastic given my impatience!) Off we trudged to the deli, only to find no pita I went searching for him, in the next aisle, bread and no one to ask about its location. and then at the checkout counter. I scanned the My children and I headed back to aisle six to parking lot outside. I don’t know why but I wanted stare at the packages of Orowheat and ButterTop. I a better look at him; however, he had disappeared. began to talk to myself, saying aloud, “Why is this so Like an apparition, he was apparently ephemeral, hard? Where is the stupid pita bread?” able to appear and disappear at will. His words struck me to my core. They served as a reminder Then, I noticed a man near me. In my mem- to really look at – and see – my life. The things I ory he is now more like an apparition. I only remem- wanted most were right there in aisle six; my chil- ber him as a disheveled figure in pants and a long dren, food for my table, my life itself...they were sleeve shirt. He was rather thin with lots of crazy hair all right there all along. Page 11 G L O B A L T HI N K I N G W O M E N