The Damned Legacy, Chapter 1.1


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The Damned Legacy, Chapter 1.1

  1. 1. <ul><li>Hello and welcome to the first chapter of the damned legacy. </li></ul><ul><li>The first chapter is short and is mainly to give you a portion of the background story on founder and her fiancé. </li></ul><ul><li>Although I have been known to ramble and get easily distracted so... yeah. You get my point. </li></ul><ul><li>At least ATTEMPT to enjoy it. OK. </li></ul><ul><li>Read. Now. Flip it and click it. </li></ul>
  2. 2. <ul><li>Sarah: Hi! My name's Sarah. </li></ul><ul><li>It is. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: I'm unlucky. </li></ul><ul><li>You are. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: And I live in the middle of no-where. </li></ul><ul><li>For now. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: You're going to build me a house? Oh my god, YES! </li></ul><ul><li>No. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: What? You serious? </li></ul><ul><li>Yes. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Then how...? </li></ul><ul><li>You'll find a way. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: That's wise. You're too trusting. </li></ul>
  3. 3. <ul><li>Sarah: Oh my god! A gift! I'm loved. I'll run to it, no, skip... just walk. OK, Someone out there, near this city. LOVES ME. I'll have to blog about this. </li></ul><ul><li>How... how... what? How will you do that? </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: If you're confused, then how the heck do I know? Oh. Ha. It's a computer. </li></ul><ul><li>Oh, Convenient! </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: I don't have a desk. Damn. </li></ul>
  4. 4. <ul><li>What are you doing? You've been outside for ages. Seriously. You'll die of hunger. Not like you have a fridge. Or your bladder will explode because of you lack of toilet. You might die of exhaustion so you need a bed and it'd be helpful if you had a source of entertainment. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Then buy them. It's not rocket science. What is rocket science? </li></ul><ul><li>Rocket science is when the scientists go into space and find things out about the planets, I think. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: I... I don't think... Ah, what are you going to do? No. I have an idea. </li></ul>
  5. 5. <ul><li>Sarah: So as it grew towards the night, Mr. Legacy... </li></ul><ul><li>Please, call me Max. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: OK, Max. I decided to take things into my own hands. By registering for a renovation program. </li></ul><ul><li>That's actually pretty smart of you. Just unlucky that you're a founder with a stupid voice in your head. </li></ul>
  6. 6. <ul><li>You know, that sim is strangely familiar. But then not at the same time. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: You make a lot of sense. </li></ul><ul><li>Mak: Hello and welcome to the new series of Renovate My Crap House. Before we start I'd like to shout out to my followers and say thank you for the presents I received... </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: In late-July? </li></ul><ul><li>Mak: ...yes. I'm more loved than you'll ever be. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Bitch. </li></ul><ul><li>Mak: So anyway. I was able to sell your crappy gifts to get a new haircut, a holiday and some half decent clothes. I also got a facelift and some eye-surgery. </li></ul><ul><li>You know, If I had a lot of money, that sounds like something I'd do. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: And you said you recognised him? </li></ul><ul><li>I do. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: I can see why. </li></ul>
  7. 7. <ul><li>Sarah: What, what are you doing? </li></ul><ul><li>Haven't you watched this show before? </li></ul><ul><li>Mak: This is how I renovate homes, with my magic skipping rope. OK? </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: ...OK. </li></ul><ul><li>This better be good or I'm firing you as a founder. </li></ul>
  8. 8. <ul><li>Sarah: ICK! </li></ul><ul><li>HA! * silent lol * </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: What the... what the... what is this? It's utter $h1t... </li></ul><ul><li>Mak: Um... I gave you a house. I'm sorry. But... the results are made on what you can afford and a small plot of land with a small budget of less than §20,000 gets you... this. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: FIX IT! </li></ul>
  9. 9. <ul><li>Mak: Oh yes, of course, you need a door. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: I'm not talking about a door! I need a house. Which is furnished and looks nice. </li></ul><ul><li>Mak: Don't we all? </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Yes, we do. And a lot of people have so why can't I? </li></ul><ul><li>Mak: I'm not a very nice person. </li></ul><ul><li>Um. The camera's for your show are still rolling, you know... </li></ul>
  10. 10. <ul><li>Sarah: Now listen, Bitch. </li></ul><ul><li>Mak: * girly shriek * </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: I am tired of your rudeness and most of all your crappy jokes now set this shithole straight. If you were going to be awkward, why did you choose me? </li></ul><ul><li>Mak: From your profile picture, you looked like you were open to f... </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Finish that sentence and you will not leave here alive. </li></ul>
  11. 11. <ul><li>Mak: You're over-reacting and missing the point of the show entirely. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Oh really, what's not to get? I mean, you do up people's house on a budget. </li></ul><ul><li>Mak: No, the real reason is for me to look pretty and get lots of money, hence the makeover I had. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: I will seriously hit you and I will enjoy so you better shut the fuck up right now... </li></ul><ul><li>Dudes, cameras rolling. And I know it makes good TV but... </li></ul>
  12. 12. <ul><li>Sarah: My face is made of ultimate anger, Mak. </li></ul><ul><li>Mak: When you say my name it sounds so... </li></ul><ul><li>Sexy? </li></ul><ul><li>Mak: Sexy. Let's go and make l... </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: SHUT UP YOU HORNY BASTARD AND FIX MY FREAKING HOUSE! </li></ul>
  13. 13. <ul><li>Sarah: I don't think I'll ever be pleased. I didn't want you to break the bank... just, build me a house. I'm really starting to dislike you. </li></ul><ul><li>Mak: But somehow you did afford it all. </li></ul><ul><li>What? Are you sure? No cheating? </li></ul><ul><li>Mak: Honestly, I didn't cheat. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: OH! Haha. * sweet smile * </li></ul>
  14. 14. <ul><li>Hey Sarah, you know we're friends and all... </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: We're not friends... we just know each other. </li></ul><ul><li>Mak: Who are you talking to? </li></ul><ul><li>What did you do? </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: I stole Mak's credit card when he came on the lot. </li></ul><ul><li>Mak: What? </li></ul>
  15. 15. <ul><li>Mak: I guess I'm leaving. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: OK! But thanks for the whole house thing, it was a sweet gesture, wait, where are you? WOAH! </li></ul><ul><li>What? </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: That is one ugly cab driver! Like, if Bigfoot made love to a grizzly bear which made love to a horse which Vanessa Feltz done... you'd be the son... HA! The hair you have isn't Bigfoot's. And the horse isn't your father. I'm sorry you had to find out like this. </li></ul>
  16. 16. <ul><li>Now what? </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: I don't know... </li></ul><ul><li>I'm bored. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Yeah. You know how annoying someone is, and you can't wait for them to be gone but then once they leave... you miss them. Ah well, I'll get over it. Even if he was the first person to build me a house and lend me §20,000. Ah, nothing like a bit of fresh air anyway. I need to find a man... and damn, I have bills to pay. Already? Sheesh. </li></ul>
  17. 17. <ul><li>Oh, sorry. I went to make Mac and Cheese. Yum. What'd I miss? </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Not much... </li></ul><ul><li>Oh, good. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: I mean, I only adopted a dog, no big deal. </li></ul><ul><li>You what, no big deal? Do you even know how to look after a dog? </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: They lick themselves clean, don't worry, and they pee outside. </li></ul>
  18. 18. <ul><li>??? : Hi! I'm Chris, I'm here to drop off your new pet! </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: A pet in an armoured police car, you serious? </li></ul><ul><li>Look how ugly she is, with that sparkly eye shadow and ginger 'brows. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Tell me about it. </li></ul><ul><li>Chris: What? </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Oh, nothing. </li></ul>
  19. 19. <ul><li>Chris: Hi! I'm Chris Creelman! </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Yep, she's ugly all right. Look at those clothes. </li></ul><ul><li>You think it might have to do with her job by any chance? </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Maybe, but I can't quite put my finger on what it is. </li></ul><ul><li>Hm, you don't say. Is it unlucky that you don't have an education? </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Well, I am am unlucky... but I did go to school. </li></ul><ul><li>Is it unlucky that your brain is read only. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: What? </li></ul><ul><li>Oh, sorry. I just changed the permissions. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Some file called loser.exe is trying to access your memories. </li></ul><ul><li>Allow. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Oh... I denied. </li></ul>
  20. 20. <ul><li>Sarah: Aww. Puppy. </li></ul><ul><li>Any idea on what you're going to call him? </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: * looks around the room * I've got it, Pierce. </li></ul><ul><li>How does Pierce have anything to do with something around the room and by the way we're outside. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Because I want that man over there to Pierce off. </li></ul>
  21. 21. <ul><li>You mean... the mail man? </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: What? </li></ul><ul><li>You said you wanted that man over there to Pierce off. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Yes. </li></ul><ul><li>I assumed you meant the mail man? </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Mail men aren't real men... </li></ul><ul><li>What? </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: They're robots. No-one could live with that job... </li></ul><ul><li>Well, they do get payed to do it... </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: I know what a job is, thank you. </li></ul><ul><li>O... OK. So... who? </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Him. </li></ul>
  22. 22. <ul><li>Why... why are you looking at him through the window. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: When you say it out loud... well, in my head. It makes me sound like a peeping Tom. </li></ul><ul><li>Well. Apart from him being fully clothed, you pretty much are. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: So I can't stalk people who are on MY land? </li></ul><ul><li>When you say it out loud... it makes sense. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Exactly. But hopefully my being unlucky won't mess up a possible relationship for me. </li></ul><ul><li>A possible relationship? So you're interested in him? </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: No, he's fug. But when I marry him you can make him prettyful. </li></ul><ul><li>Prettyful? </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Yeah. </li></ul><ul><li>You always drag me into this... </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Well. You made me... </li></ul>
  23. 23. <ul><li>Sarah: Hey! How are... EW. DON'T GET SO CLOSE. I mean... Hey, sure whatever. </li></ul><ul><li>Smooth, Sarah, real smooth. </li></ul><ul><li>???: Um, hey! I'm new around here and I'm just looking for somewhere to hide the people I kidnap. I mean, no. I'm not... * shifty eyes * </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Sorry, did you say something? I was staring at your gigantic lips, ugly hair and your dreadful clothes. </li></ul><ul><li>???: Uh, I'm Jim, Jim Jeffress. </li></ul>
  24. 24. <ul><li>After hours of banter Sarah wasn't even listening to, evening fell once again. </li></ul><ul><li>Pierce decided to rebel about the lack of attention he'd been getting since he became adult so he knocked over the trash can, chewed through it and pissed everywhere, despite his hate of mess. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Woah, woah, woah... hold on... Pierce became an adult? </li></ul>
  25. 25. <ul><li>Sarah: I think it'd be more seducing to Jim if we were to hang out with my half-nakedness. </li></ul><ul><li>You think? </li></ul><ul><li>Jim: ...And I was like, WOW! SOAP! It cleans! </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Mmkay. </li></ul><ul><li>Jim: I KNOW! </li></ul>
  26. 26. <ul><li>Jim had now started to talk about fashion which interested Sarah slightly, so she joined in the conversation with him and they soon became friends although... </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Hey Jim! I really like you, like... now, today... but our lifetime meter sucks so. If I'm going to bed you, it'll have to be sometime soon. </li></ul><ul><li>Jim: Bed me? Wow, It'll be the time I lose mine. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Lose your what? </li></ul><ul><li>Jim: Oh... nothing. </li></ul><ul><li>Lose his idiot status. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: No, That's not possible. </li></ul><ul><li>Jim: What? </li></ul><ul><li>I do feel sorry for the guy though, having to be with you. And me. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Yeah, I'll tell him about you... Someday. </li></ul>
  27. 27. <ul><li>Jim: To stop myself talking about Gucci and Calvin Klein underwear models... </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Jim, shut up... </li></ul>
  28. 28. <ul><li>Sarah: ...And kiss me. </li></ul><ul><li>* smooch * </li></ul><ul><li>Jim: That was... fun, I guess. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: You guess? Geez, you're a hard sim to impress you know that, why do I pick the crappy guys. </li></ul><ul><li>Well you are unlucky. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: You can stop reminding me of that anytime soon by the way. </li></ul>
  29. 29. <ul><li>Jim: So I noticed, on the way up to your bedroom that there's an empty room next door. What's that all about? </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Pfft, I don't know. That loser, Mak, built it. </li></ul><ul><li>Jim: From Renovate My Crap House? </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Yes. </li></ul><ul><li>Jim: Do you use it? </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Never. </li></ul><ul><li>Jim: Never? Ok. Thanks for that. </li></ul>
  30. 30. <ul><li>Sarah: Ew, ew, ew, ewwww.... </li></ul><ul><li>What? </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: I got intimate with a Maxis Sim. ICK! </li></ul><ul><li>Jim: I love you... </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Not looking like that you don't. </li></ul>
  31. 31. <ul><li>Sarah: Errr... </li></ul><ul><li>Jim: What? </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Well, it's not the BEST look in the world but hey, as long as it's custom content, I'm not complaining. </li></ul><ul><li>Jim: O... OK... Um... thanks? </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: And tomorrow I'm taking you shopping. I'm glad you've moved in. </li></ul><ul><li>Jim: So the spare room's mine? </li></ul>
  32. 32. <ul><li>Sarah could like... not wait to go shopping so they went at midnight. </li></ul><ul><li>Yes, I did totally forget to take a picture here. </li></ul><ul><li>Mosey along now. </li></ul>
  33. 33. <ul><li>Jim: Come on, let's go back home. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Sorry, who are you? </li></ul><ul><li>Jim: It's me, Jim. </li></ul>
  34. 34. <ul><li>Sarah: HOLY... </li></ul><ul><li>Yeah as long as you don't get too... you know, because this is a public place and all... </li></ul>
  35. 35. <ul><li>Jim: Would you, Sarah Damned, be my wonderful wife? </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: ARGGGHHH! YESS! </li></ul><ul><li>Well. I guess that’s better than what I was thinking you’d do... </li></ul>
  36. 36. <ul><li>Sarah: Honey, now that I actually like you and we're engaged, we need to talk about a few things, well, just one, unless you have something boring to add. So, would you like a honeymoon? </li></ul><ul><li>Jim: Ugh, no, all them loading screens. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Thank god. Ok, you can get lost now. </li></ul><ul><li>Jim: No, I have something to say. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Pfft. </li></ul><ul><li>Jim: Can I have the spare room to myself? And you promise you won't go in it? </li></ul>
  37. 37. <ul><li>Sarah: Why do you care so much about that spare room? </li></ul><ul><li>Jim: No reason. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: You seem to love it more than me. </li></ul><ul><li>Jim: No, I just need somewhere to work and study. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: You don't have a job. You came to this house with crap money, so you should get one. </li></ul><ul><li>Jim: Only if you promise to not go in the room. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Pfft. Fine, but you better make millions. </li></ul><ul><li>Jim: I'll try. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Aw, Jim, I love you... </li></ul><ul><li>Jim: You serious? </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Uh... we're engaged. </li></ul><ul><li>Jim: Oh. Ha. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Let's go woohoo. </li></ul>
  38. 38. <ul><li>Jim: That hurt, and now so does my eye, and I haven't gone through puberty. </li></ul><ul><li>Sarah: Stop complaining and outdoor sex is worse and yes, I do laugh at your lack of body hair and that we just had sex with clothes on. </li></ul><ul><li>So... I guess this is it. My lacklustre attempt at a Sim Legacy. Well, like... thanks for reading. It's been fun. </li></ul>