Kitson Brochure


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Kitson Brochure

  1. 1. Dave Kitson Summer 09
  2. 2. Introduction to Dave Kitson has taken an unconventional rise to Dave’s world renown eye for goal has seen the top, belligerently performing his way him score in every English league and cup out of lower league shitholes such as competition, even more impressive after he Hitchin, Arsley and Cambridge to earn his admitted he “doesn’t give a shit” about the place amongst the Royals at Reading - he FA Cup. If this man can score when he is now one of the most recognisable ginger doesn’t care, imagine what he could provide people in England, achieving similar levels for your team. of fame to Mick Hucknall What the experts say: “He is more than a head on a stick” – Steve Coppell “Dave only started playing for us because his best mate Lee Devereux was in our side and the pair of them worked at Sainsbury’s” - Jason Kitchener, Arena Tavern manager (Hitchin Sunday League Premier Division)
  3. 3. Kitson takes pride in his goals to games ratio, which used to be nearly 0.50 during a purple 120 patch of 54 in 111 games for Reading. 100 Were it not for an unhappy spell at Stoke, 80 where his homesickness made scoring goals physically impossible, he would be 60 goals games spoke about in the same breath as John 40 Hartson and Fabrizio Ravenelli 20 In spite of this he still had a hand in one of the more memorable goals of the 08/09 season, 0 helping Justin Hoyte bundle in an own goal Cambridge Reading Stoke Reading (loan) during a 2-1 defeat at Middlesbrough
  4. 4. The Athlete, The Ambassador, The Icon
  5. 5. International Pedigree Despite not being called up to the England squad, Dave has been extremely close. He joins the likes of Noel Whelan, Julian Joachim and Dean Holdsworth in a unique group of English goal scoring superstars that have never graced the international game. His strong sense of national pride meant he rejected Steve Staunton's attempts to get him to join other mediocre English players in the Irish national side Lawrie Sanchez also tried to recruit Kitson for the Northern Irish team, despite the fact he was not eligible. Actor Kenneth Branagh allegedly offered to help legitimise Kitson by claiming he was Dave’s biological father.
  6. 6. Brand Values Most professional sports people have limited appeal – Dave Kitson scores in a whole range of categories and offers huge commercial benefits for whoever he plays for
  7. 7. Dave Kitson – Tabloid Stories (and the Truth!) “DAVE KITSON IS LAZY AND UNMOTIVATED” Not true. As Dave says himself every time he saunters on from the bench…"My biggest motivation is to say, "This guy cost £10m and he's won God knows what. Well, I'm Dave Kitson, I cost £150,000 from Cambridge and I ran the show today'.“ Who can argue with that. “STOKE ONLY SIGNED DAVE KITSON BECAUSE CHIEF EXECUTIVE TONY SCHOLES THOUGHT DAVE WAS JOHN-ARNE RIISE” Again, untrue. Tony Scholes actually signed Dave under the belief it was Rupert Grint from the Harry Potter films.
  8. 8. Summary This £5million global superstar can bring not only goals, but ubiquitous commercial appeal. A man with stringent family values, he is a priceless asset for any club located within the Reading area. Currently facing the biggest decision this summer, could your club be the next to profit from David Kitson? Due to drink driving ban transport is necessary. However there are well over 28,000 willing drivers in the Stoke-on- Trent area. Any team interested in an exchange deal, contact Mr. D Views. (Players, Cars or WHSmiths vouchers only). Go-rilla Marketing Services, 23 Flogkits Street, Talke Pits Telephone No: 0871 663 2008 Fax No: 01782 592 210