The Malaysian Rowing Team Malaysia Boleh! Sound on please Click to advance slides
To prove that Malaysia Boleh, an annual boat rowing competition was organized against the Japanese Rowing Team. It was agreed that each team be made up of 8 members and the two nations would alternate hosting the race.
After months of intensive training, the maiden race was finally flagged off!
The Malaysian team felt deeply humiliated by the result. The Management was furious and vowed to win the following year’s race at ANY cost. A special think-tank, comprising so-called experts from various fields, was set up to analyze the situation and to unearth the root cause of the problem.
Upon in-depth analysis, the experts observed that the Japanese had seven rowers and one captain.
Whilst the Malaysian team had SEVEN CAPTAINS and only ONE ROWER ! Malaysia Boleh!
After much deliberations, a bright idea hit upon the Management and they decided to hire a consultant firm to salvage the Malaysian Team.
The consultants finally submitted their recommendation: They concluded that there were indeed too many captains and too few rowers on the Malaysian team. A solution was proposed to the Management, basing upon this supposedly BRILLIANT finding: “ The structure of the Malaysian rowing team must be re-engineered immediately.”
<ul><li>Thenceforth the new set-up would be: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>1 manager </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>2 supervisors </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>4 captains </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>1 rower </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Other recommendations: </li></ul><ul><li>To shorten the working time of team members so as to allow them to take their families for holidays </li></ul><ul><li>A pay-hike of 150% </li></ul>Malaysia Boleh! o
Came the following year, the Japanese won by 2 km!
The Malaysian team immediately sacked the rower, blaming him for the latest disastrous result.
Whereas a bonus reward plus extra perks like fancier car and luxurious housing, were doled out to the officials for their outstanding display of showmanship during the preparation phase.
Meanwhile the consultant firm released yet another new set of findings, one which opinioned that the strategy had been good, the motivation satisfactory, but that the tools needed improvement.
They also recommended that the competition rules be rewritten (deemed to be grossly unfair to the Malaysian team). It was further recommended that the NEP be incorporated into the new rules. The new rules shall remain in force until 2056, with an option to further extend until 3030.
Meantime a sure-win formulae has been hatched up by the Management. <ul><li>The winning strategies of the Malaysia-Boleh team: </li></ul><ul><li>That the race shall be held in Malaysia perpetually. </li></ul><ul><li>Members of the Japanese rowing team shall make up of </li></ul><ul><li>not less than 51% indigenous Malaysians. </li></ul><ul><li>A handicap be imposed on the Japanese team. As such </li></ul><ul><li>they shall be competing in a less sophisticated boat – </li></ul><ul><li>one built with an 25-year-old technology to be supplied </li></ul><ul><li>by Proton. </li></ul><ul><li>It is also mandatory that the Japanese team commence </li></ul><ul><li>the race 3 km. behind the starting line. The Malaysian team, by virtue of being the sons of the Malaysian water, will get to start 1 km. ahead of the starting line. </li></ul>
And the Management is seeking out a foreign partner to partake in this new venture. A plan is also in place to set up a RM5 billions sampan-rowing academy in Switzerland. Currently, the Malaysian Team is designing a NEW DREAM BOAT !
Malaysia Boleh! mana Ever wondered why the Malaysian’s sport teams, police force, armies, GLCs, etc., in short the whole government machineries, are all faring so poorly?