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Oct 30 The Relationship Bank Account

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  • 1. The Relationship Bank Account
    Building Relationships
    The Stuff that life is made of!
  • 2. Lets review
    Habit 1: Be Proactive
    Take responsibility for your life
    Habit 2: Begin with the end in mind
    Define your mission and goals in life
    Habit 3: Put First things first
    Prioritize, and do the most important things first
    These make up our Private Victory
  • 3. The private victory will help you become independent so that you can say,….
    “I am responsible for myself and I can create my own destiny.”
  • 4. Now it’s time for our Public Victory
    The Public Victory will help you become interdependent, that is, help you learn to work cooperatively with others, so that you can say,
    “I am a team player and I have power and influence with people.”
  • 5. The key to mastering relationships is first mastering yourself, at least to some degree.
    Habits 1,2, and 3 help you to master yourself.
  • 6. Why is success with self so important to success with others?
    Because the most important ingredient in any relationship is what you are.
    Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Who you are speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you’re saying.”
  • 7. The long and short of it….
    Is that your ability to get along with others will largely determine how successful you are in your career and your level of personal happiness.
  • 8. It has to do with our personal relationships
    Our relationship bank account .
    Public Victory: Success with other people; your ability to get along with others.
    This lesson and Habits 4 to 6 will help you improve your key relationships.
  • 9. The Relationship Bank Account (RBA)
    Represents the amount of trust and confidence you have in each of your relationships.
    It’s a little like a real checking account at a bank.
    You can make deposits and improve the relationships
    Or you can take withdrawals and weaken it.
  • 10. Unlike a real bank account
    You have an RBA with everyone you meet, (not just one bank)
    These can be positive or negative
  • 11. Unlike a real bank account
    Once you open an RBA with another person, you can never close it.
    That’s why friendships can be picked up again after a period of time
    Or why people hold grudges
  • 12. Unlike a real bank account
    Deposits into a relationship tend to evaporate and withdrawals tend to turn to stone
    You have to continually make deposits into your most relationships just to keep then in the positive.
  • 13. So how can you build a rich relationship or repair a broken one?
    It’s simple…. One deposit at a time.
    There are many kinds of deposits
    And for each there is an opposite withdrawal.
  • 14. RBA Deposits RBA Withdrawals
    Keep Promises
    Do small acts of kindness
    Be loyal
    Listen
    Say you’re sorry
    Set clear expectations
    Break promises
    Keep to yourself
    Gossip and break confidence
    Don’t listen
    Be arrogant
    Set false expectations
  • 15. Keeping Promises
    Keeping small commitments and promises is vital to building trust.
    For example: you must do what you say you’re going to do.
    Give out promises sparingly, and then do everything you can to keep them.
    And if you have to break a commitment, tell the person why.
  • 16. Do Small Acts of Kindness
    Sometimes the smallest things can make a big difference and make a bid deposit
    A hello
    A kind note
    A smile
    A compliment
    A hug (not at school  )
    A high five
  • 17. Be Loyal
    Loyal people Keep others secrets
    If someone asks you to keep it just between the two of you, DO IT!!!
    Loyal people avoid gossip
    Strong minds talk about ideas, weak minds talk about people.
    Loyal people stick up for others
    Sticking up for others will let eveyone know that you are loyal and won’t participate in gossip.
  • 18. Listen
    Listening to someone can be one of the single greatest deposits you can make into another’s RBA.
    Listening can heal wounds.
    We will cover this more in Habit 5: Seed first to understand, then to be understood.
  • 19. Say You’re Sorry
    Saying you’re sorry when you yell, overreact, or make a stupid mistake can quickly restore an overdrawn bank account.
    It takes guts and it can be especially hard to admit when you’ve done something wrong.
    Don’t let pride or lack of courage stand in the way of saying you’re sorry, because it is never as scary as it may seem and it will make you feel so good afterward.
  • 20. Set Clear Expectations
    To develop trust we need to avoid sending vague messages or implying something that is not true or not likely to happen.
    Example: If someone asks you to hang out this weekend, but you know you can’t, just be honest and say so.
    It is best to set clear expectations up front rather than to damage someone’s trust in you.
  • 21. Withdrawals
    Remember: the opposite of a deposit is a withdrawal.
    If you commit acts that are opposite of the deposit you will make a withdrawal in that relationship that puts the relationship in the negative, and it will take more deposits to rebuild the bank account to the positive
  • 22. RBA Deposits RBA Withdrawals
    Keep Promises
    Do small acts of kindness
    Be loyal
    Listen
    Say you’re sorry
    Set clear expectations
    Break promises
    Keep to yourself
    Gossip and break confidence
    Don’t listen
    Be arrogant
    Set false expectations
  • 23. Personal Challenge
    Pick one important relationship that is currently damaged
    Commit yourself to rebuilding the relationship one deposit at a time.
    It may take awhile and they may be suspicious at first but little by little the deposits will outweigh the withdrawals.
    It may not be easy, but it will be worth it.

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